Things people say when you lose weight
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This week I've run into two old friends for the first time since maybe 2015-2016 (I hit my goal in 2014) and both of them made the same comment - basically "Whoa, you look great...I can't believe you've kept the weight off". Both are guys and I know they were not trying to be rude, so I took it as a compliment instead of being offended by their choice of comments.14
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Friends not commenting at all when I have lost weight, and when I was heavier those same friends had a lot of negative comments about my weight.22
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ItsyBitsy246 wrote: »Nothing. Not a peep, good or bad after losing 35-40 pounds. I'm pretty sure there was a noticeable difference between my weight of 185 and my weight of 145!
well im sure you look awesome!
ive never really had anyone make comment either, from 103lbs to 224lbs then back down to now 146ish whatever though haha, i know i look different!
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I recognise a lot of these comments - particularly the ones about “ooh, don’t get too thin” (I am currently right at the top of “normal weight” BMI within a whisper of “overweight” - I’ll start worrying about “being too thin” when my trousers are falling down, NOT while I can’t pull them up and over my thighs!!)
However, I also recognise some of these comments because I have SAID some of them before. 😬. What SHOULD people say? I know I might get comments advising that I say nothing at all, but people often like their efforts to be noticed. The catch-all “you look great” works, right?17 -
I visit different offices within my company every 2 or 3 months. In a meeting last week a lady that I see a little more often because she travels too said, "I can tell you've been working hard, you look great." She didn't ask how much weight, (like my hairdresser did last week) or anything about diet, just that she could tell I'd been working on it and that I looked great. I wanted to hug her. I was training a small class and it could have taken over the conversation. It was perfect. They're not all rude, I think most people don't know what to say and think they're being nice or projecting their own issues on you.14
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I visit different offices within my company every 2 or 3 months. In a meeting last week a lady that I see a little more often because she travels too said, "I can tell you've been working hard, you look great." She didn't ask how much weight, (like my hairdresser did last week) or anything about diet, just that she could tell I'd been working on it and that I looked great. I wanted to hug her. I was training a small class and it could have taken over the conversation. It was perfect. They're not all rude, I think most people don't know what to say and think they're being nice or projecting their own issues on you.
That's a really great way to put it. It leaves a much better impact to compliment someone's effort rather than just the result.15 -
ItsyBitsy246 wrote: »Nothing. Not a peep, good or bad after losing 35-40 pounds. I'm pretty sure there was a noticeable difference between my weight of 185 and my weight of 145!
I haven't gotten any feedback either. I just notice a lot more staring when I got out. One guy who I didn't recognize at the grocery store said it was good to see me and that I looked younger. I took the compliment, even though it was probably meant for somebody else. lol6 -
I've gotten two comments about "holy cow, you don't need to lose 30 more" from my coworker and my parents (who are the only people I talk about my weight loss with). Fortunately, both were very open and reasonable when I explained to them that it would put me in the middle of a healthy bmi, and that I just seem quite thin now because they are used to seeing me as overweight (as I have been overweight pretty much all my life). I also explained that I can seem especially thin because my skin will be looser, leading to a more frail appearance at first, but that it fades with continued maintenance. After that, they both seemed much more comfortable with my goal.29
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GrizzledSquirrel wrote: »I recognise a lot of these comments - particularly the ones about “ooh, don’t get too thin” (I am currently right at the top of “normal weight” BMI within a whisper of “overweight” - I’ll start worrying about “being too thin” when my trousers are falling down, NOT while I can’t pull them up and over my thighs!!)
However, I also recognise some of these comments because I have SAID some of them before. 😬. What SHOULD people say? I know I might get comments advising that I say nothing at all, but people often like their efforts to be noticed. The catch-all “you look great” works, right?
Yes, “you look great” always works. This is what Ihave heard most often, and it’s nice to have my hard work acknowledged.
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I've gotten mostly positive comments from friends and co-workers ("You look so good!" "What are you doing?" "Good for you - you're working hard and it shows.") and I'm super grateful for it. It's really helped motivate me a lot But, I had one recently that threw me a bit...
I was having a few drinks with some friends and was talking to this guy who about 5 months (and 40+ pounds) ago had led me on and then turned me down for a girl much more attractive than me, but he gave me bogus excuses. The conversation went something like this...
Him: "Man, I'm already 195lb - better be careful that I don't drink one too many drinks and push over that 200lb mark!"
Me (who blurts everything when drunk...): "Dang, I used to outweigh you!"
Him: "Holy smokes, really? I noticed you've lost weight - how much have you dropped??"
Me: "Like 45 pounds now, so I'm around 150."
Him: "Daaaaaam girl, you're looking good! I bet you get all the guys now."
And we just stared awkwardly at each other and I kinda laughed it off and mumbled something, but I think we both fully comprehended what he had admitted. Makes me really glad I didn't date him, but really bud, we had to go there?26 -
Thank God I haven't come up against this one in years... it was from an abusive ex-boyfriend. Ex, for obvious reasons. Anyway, after I had lost about 30 pounds, his only response was a growling, "I don't want to hear it. You're still overweight." The kicker is, I actually wasn't. I was on the high end of normal, but he considered me "fat" because I didn't look like the photos in certain types of magazines. How many women in the real world actually do?
Unfortunately, there are members of my own family I would get the same response from. Not, "Look how much you've lost," but more like, "Look how much weight you still have left to lose." Or, "The weight loss is nice and all, but here's some other thing you're doing wrong. I'm not going to focus on what you're doing well. I'm only going to talk about where you're screwing up."
I have to stay away from those people too.33 -
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Okay how about "Girl you're really looking good . . . I know you're going to get a man now." Really?!!! You can't do anything but laugh. The other comment that gets on my nerves is "he/she has lost a lot of weight . . . he/she probably had the surgery. Hey, I'm not knocking weight loss surgery, but people can and do lose weight without it. smh12
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My husband told me this morning he’s going to get me a scale to hang around my neck like bling for when we go out.
I started thinking, and that might be my moneymaker, lol.9 -
GrizzledSquirrel wrote: »
However, I also recognise some of these comments because I have SAID some of them before. 😬. What SHOULD people say? I know I might get comments advising that I say nothing at all, but people often like their efforts to be noticed. The catch-all “you look great” works, right?
My stance is that saying nothing is often the best course. The only time I’d comment on someone’s body/size is if they had been making a lot of noise about dieting/trying to lose weight. You just don’t know someone’s circumstances (maybe they’re sick or going through a hard time) or their history with eating disorders.
I haven’t told anyone I’m trying to lose weight (down about 10lbs). It’s awkward when people make comments about my body. When they do, I just blow them off & say they are mistaken12 -
Dealing with comments is just path of the course. Most comments are nice, but on occasion some family have told me I look disgusting, or I’ll.
The thing is, if someone knows you as being fat, they’re not used to you having cheekbones and a jawline.
Mostly these people are just shocked. You’ve got to know your own goal, and not let any comments put you off.14 -
fitpal4242 wrote: »GrizzledSquirrel wrote: »
However, I also recognise some of these comments because I have SAID some of them before. 😬. What SHOULD people say? I know I might get comments advising that I say nothing at all, but people often like their efforts to be noticed. The catch-all “you look great” works, right?
My stance is that saying nothing is often the best course. The only time I’d comment on someone’s body/size is if they had been making a lot of noise about dieting/trying to lose weight. You just don’t know someone’s circumstances (maybe they’re sick or going through a hard time) or their history with eating disorders.
I haven’t told anyone I’m trying to lose weight (down about 10lbs). It’s awkward when people make comments about my body. When they do, I just blow them off & say they are mistaken
I have lost 40 lbs. Telling them they are mistaken is going to land one of us in the psych ward. I smile, maybe say thank you, then clam up when they want to make a conversation of it.3 -
I tend to go with "you look good--whatever you are doing is working for you."4
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