The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living

Hello everyone. I’m so glad I discovered this community support group. I’ve been on MFP for several years and I’ve been sober since June 3, 1982. Although I don’t have the daily struggles with alcohol, it’s never too far away and I respect the power of it and how I could take a drink and totally destroy my life, or even die if I take a drink. My addiction comes out in different ways - food is one of them! But having an addictive personality I get addicted to many things - I need to pay attention to the dangerous things. Some of my addictions are okay - such as line dancing. I know that sounds strange but once I discovered line dancing it has become an obsession of mine.

Hello all. I am really, really struggling. I think worse than I've ever struggled. It's because this constant (and apparently permanent) tinnitus gets so bad, and a couple of drinks can really calm it down. It's not just that I myself get calmer, I don't think because I've experimented with anti-anxiety meds and they don't seem to have the same effect. I wish they did, but then I surely don't need a new addiction.

Anyway, as I'm sure most of you can relate to, the two drinks don't seem to be enough for "me," even though they do take care of the ringing temporarily. Last night I had way too much alcohol. I woke up at 1:30 a.m. and the ringing was so bad I had to get up. It's now 1:30 p.m. and I haven't been back to bed. I believe the excessive drinking is probably making the tinnitus much worse because alcohol is an aggravating factor. Talk about a vicious circle!!! So far I just haven't been able to power through a whole evening, but I really do want to do that and let the tinnitus calm down if it will without the alcohol. I do not wish this horrible condition on anyone.

The other thing is that since I am not working at the moment, I don't have the "brakes" I had all last school year when I had to be showered, dressed, and out of the house at 7 a.m. I have been working seriously on writing a screenplay based on the year in juvie, but I would like to hop out of bed clear-eyed, take an early morning walk, enjoy my coffee and get to work. That just is not happening right now. Anyway, it is my intention to once again go AF, but I have never had to do it with this demon. I believe meditation, herbal tea, and not drinking will probably lessen it . . . I just haven't had the courage to try it yet. I'm sure I will join your AF ranks very soon, and maybe these crickets will pipe down a bit. Sorry to complain, but I know y'all understand.

Thanks you all for your compassion. @aroze0928, I do sleep with a fan whirring away. I've always done that. But it doesn't drown out the tinnitus. Sometimes it helps to softly play a movie I've seen a thousand times on my phone beside the bed. I'm usually asleep after two or three scenes. I have done mindfulness meditation in the past and should probably turn to that again.

BUT . . . the GOOD news is that yesterday evening I managed to avoid alcohol and just take melatonin and went to sleep well and slept all night. Also . . . the tinnitus is almost unnoticeable today. That hasn't happened since May. So, it may be a coincidence, but I don't think so. That means I have a new, powerful motivation not to drink. Maybe God knew I needed that! The difference in my ear is unbelievable to me. I don't dare drink and thus invite the misery to return. I knew alcohol is considered an aggravating factor, along with nicotine and excess salt. But I hadn't had the courage to go one day without its temporary relief until yesterday. If this is the reality (this vast difference I'm experiencing today), and not just a one-time coincidence, I will very willingly give up any "pleasure" or "relief" I get from alcohol.

@donimfp I feel so badly for you. I can see how it is just easier to drink than to deal with constant ringing. It's probably a catch 22 where you trade one misery for another. But I do not judge. I don't know what I'd do if I were in your shoes.

Recently my doctor prescribed me a non-addictive, non habit forming sleep medicine. I took it and slept 8 hours which I haven't done in many years. I woke up and felt like sleeping Beauty. It was amazing. If you want the name of the sleep med, message me.

@trishfit2014 We can relate. After you stop for awhile and then go back to drinking, it's a downhill slide and before you know It you are back to where you were. At least you recognize that it is becoming an issue in your life.

I wonder if many of us could use a prescription like anti depressant or anti anxiety; I remember awhile ago mentioning that I read that people who have anxiety are more likely to be heavy drinkers. I know some people would say no to any "Mind altering drugs" but for some people, it really can be a relief to feel better emotionally. I started an antidepressent five days ago and maybe it's a placebo effect, but I do feel a lot better. No more crying these past five days. Anyway, I'm just thinking out loud for ways to feel better without alcohol.

Thanks for the article FeelingFooFoo,I recognize a few of those symptoms 😵 glad the author is sober now,@donimfp glad the tinitus seems to be letting up,not much going on here but heading to California tomorrow just to chill on the beach yay! No worries about drinking cuz it's a family trip, besides I only worry about drinking when I am alone,at home with time on my hands,that's when it gets difficult,anyhoo waves to all and wishes for a fab AF day!❤️

Good Morn All I Agree with all of the above about the progression of alcoholism...the interesting thing to me though, from what I've been reading, some heavy drinkers remain "heavy" drinkers and do not progress to alcoholism. For myself, I think I was fortunate to quit when I did because I wonder, with family history and other factors, if I would have progressed to alcoholism...and that is scary because once a person progresses to that point they lose the desire to stop and some never do.

I watched a Craig Beck video "Why It's OK to Hate AA" LOL No offence to those who have received help there & credit AA with their sobriety, but it isn't for everyone. In fact, Craig says (and I read these stats from other sources also) that only 8%-10% of people who quit drinking do so with the help of AA and 80% go it alone. And of the 8%-10% that quit with the help of AA, most have already decided to do so before they attend the program.

Yet, whether someone is a heavy drinker or an alcoholic or somewhere in between, it is the addictive nature of alcohol that we should all be concerned about because as our own experiences prove, it takes control of us in some way regardless of what label we accept.

It is more than a desire to stop drinking...it takes work and that is the one thing I will agree with AA, you cannot just want to stop and be successful. You may be able to stop putting a drink to your lips, but if we don't deal with the underlying issues, then we'll just be a non-drinker, not necessarily a better person. It's working on our 'stuff' that will make us a better person which = success, and there are various ways to do that. We just need to find the way that works for us.

Happy, successful AF day and may all of us continue to work toward finding the way that works for each of us