Autumn Sadness

LeiLaura
LeiLaura Posts: 238 Member
in Motivation and Support
Just needing a place to vent, feel free to read and run :)

As autumn is closing in, I'm feeling myself folding up as well. My mood has got darker, I can't be bothered with anything, I'm tired and don't want to leave the house, let alone go to work/the gym. As for food, I seem to want all of it, despite managing really well all through the summer. I haven't let myself go yet, it may just be a matter of time, though.

Finally, I'm 2 weeks off what would have been the due date for the baby I lost in May at 17 weeks. I thought I'd moved on, but the moment we got October, it's been all I can think about. I'm dreaming I'm pregnant most nights, everyone at work seems to be expecting, and I'm pretty bitter because I'm 40 and single and unlikely to have another. I just hope it all gets easier after the due date, it feels like I'm waiting for her to die all over again.

Thank you for "listening" if you read this far. It feels like everyone in my real life has forgotten or thinks I should have moved on. The father certainly has (we weren't together, but turned out he had a secret girlfriend the whole time I was pregnant, so I haven't seen him since the birth).

Right. I'm going to shake myself down now and go for a swim. It usually works wonders, I hope it can cut through this particular fog!

Replies

  • LeiLaura
    LeiLaura Posts: 238 Member
    middlehaitch wrote: »
    ((( <3)), give yourself the room and time to mourn you loss.



    More practically, how is your vitamin D? I have found using a ‘sun light’ in the morning really helps with my energy levels. I also take a vitD supplement because I know I just won’t be outside moving around once the rain starts.

    Take care of yourself,
    Cheers h.

    Thank you ever so much, it's kind of you to reply. My swim did help :) That's a very good point about the Vitamin D - I'd been taking it daily unto about 2 weeks ago, when I ran out. I doubt that's a coincidence! Thanks for the reminder to get more, will get them today!
  • robbell678
    robbell678 Posts: 140 Member
    Aww,..sorry to hear that,..🤗 coming for you.
    Swimming is great,..I go to free up some unrequited love. 😔
  • LeiLaura
    LeiLaura Posts: 238 Member
    robbell678 wrote: »
    Aww,..sorry to hear that,..🤗 coming for you.
    Swimming is great,..I go to free up some unrequited love. 😔

    Thank you! Yes, swimming is da bomb :) I'm glad it helps you, too!
  • Chris_J99
    Chris_J99 Posts: 175 Member
    So sorry to hear about your baby. Any anniversary is going to be tough but hang in there. Embrace the sunshine when it comes out. Sending you hugs 🤗❤️
  • LeiLaura
    LeiLaura Posts: 238 Member
    ChrisNorthover wrote: »
    So sorry to hear about your baby. Any anniversary is going to be tough but hang in there. Embrace the sunshine when it comes out. Sending you hugs 🤗❤️

    Thank you very much!
  • DancingMoosie
    DancingMoosie Posts: 8,613 Member
    Try to get some sun. It helps brighten my mood. So sorry for your loss.
  • sexynurse801ms
    sexynurse801ms Posts: 37 Member
    Im sorry for your loss. I understand how you feel. I lost my last baby boy at 18 weeks. It was devastating and I totally get what you mean by people thinking you should be moved on by now. I too had pregnancy dreams every month for about 7 years. They just stopped this past January after my husband got me my very first puppy.
    Take this time to grieve and care for yourself. Try and find something that brings you joy so that you don't go into a shell. Talk to someone about your daughter. I promise that talking helps. If you ever want to talk, vent, or cry please message me. I'm here for you.
  • geraldaltman
    geraldaltman Posts: 1,739 Member
    edited October 2019
    I have zero background to offer anything but a kind word and the hope that you continue to seek and find what will help you cope and bring some comfort; that something will inspire you to move forward positively but obviously without forgetting what you've lost, which naturally you never will or should. I wish you well.

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