Three Years Later
MelanieCN77
Posts: 4,047 Member
About this time three years ago I made the decision to start getting my weight under control - at 5'5 and 184 I was moving out of feels good and curvy and into "yikes" when I saw random photographs. I was fairly sedentary outside of organised team sports a couple of times a week, and I always enjoyed food and the portions and the pounds crept.
It took me 8-9 months to lose 40lbs. The first 10 I lost by adopting the one habit of "eat a damn vegetable" by which I made myself eat a proper serving or two of fruit or vegetables with meals. That loss was fast but then slowed right down which is when I came to use MFP. I got an Apple Watch, I used Couch to 5k. I did home workouts. I counted calories. After my last 5lbs or so I joined a gym as I had got quite physically weak and set about maintenance.
Maintenance has been far rockier for me than any of the time losing ever was. The disheartening realisation that you don't ever go back to how things were before, eating wise, and over time that the difference for me between maintaining with 2-3lbs and not is about 200 calories a day. I found the usefulness of volume eating, high fibre, voluminous low calorie foods stuffed my fridge. That and my cardinal rules of be prepared, don't get over hungry, and log everything served me very well for a long time.
But I got tired. I got SO tired of tracking and being hungry, and intermittently took time off. In those gaps I knowingly succumbed to "the log isn't watching, eat cupcakes" mentality. April of this year I decided to go a full month off logging, and I gained 3-4lbs that has taken me many months since to jettison again. Looking for something sustainable, I continued logging and working out while I attempted to figure out what my food future was going to look like, veering into over-exercising and developing some orthorexic tendencies that had a predictable knock-on effect on my social life and sense of mental health. My hunger remained at "I could eat something" pretty much 24 hours a day.
I'm not a big conscious analyzer, and just buckling down and waiting to see what surfaced, idea-wise, is more my process. All of a sudden earlier this month I decided it was time to go off log again and to eat more loosely but also mindfully and I'm cautiously optimistic. It's been about two weeks of no logging but sticking to my own version of clean and healthy with treats reasonably proportioned and spaced out, and really thinking about what my body WANTS to eat at any given snack or mealtime and balancing that intellectually with what I know about my day as it stands. The scale behaves exactly as I know it will given what I do and what I eat, I don't have to weigh and count to know how dinner should be or if I can splurge a bit at breakfast one day. I'm finally able to trust the absorption of all the facts and habits and evidence of the last couple of years and have hopefully found a version of intuitive eating that is working for me. PR'd my single mile and 5k time both just in the past two weeks - coincidence maybe, but I like to think it's a fact of loosening up and feeding myself - both food wise and mentally - in a funner way to aid my mood and ability to drive and recover.
Example from today: I ate a reasonable breakfast of overnight oats with fruit, had some toast and butter after I came back from my run. Lunch I just ate a home made quiche with beans, something which would NEVER have appeared on my menu this last couple of years, due to sticker shock from the calories and fear that the small volume would leave me hungry with minimal room left in the day. But I'm full enough and happier on it. I have a nice peach to have in a half hour or so, and some tea later on to get me through the rest of the work day.
I know I'm rambling a bit but maintenance has the potential to be quite the rollercoaster, as a lot of posts here evidence. I just wanted to share my version and the hope that I've finally found about giving myself a break - I feel like anybody who's got here and is seriously trying to stick with things knows or will soon know how tiring is keeping up the iron will. Don't rush yourself, keep logging, take practice breaks, allow good habits long stretches of time to solidify, keep your rules broad and flexible. That's all I got.
It took me 8-9 months to lose 40lbs. The first 10 I lost by adopting the one habit of "eat a damn vegetable" by which I made myself eat a proper serving or two of fruit or vegetables with meals. That loss was fast but then slowed right down which is when I came to use MFP. I got an Apple Watch, I used Couch to 5k. I did home workouts. I counted calories. After my last 5lbs or so I joined a gym as I had got quite physically weak and set about maintenance.
Maintenance has been far rockier for me than any of the time losing ever was. The disheartening realisation that you don't ever go back to how things were before, eating wise, and over time that the difference for me between maintaining with 2-3lbs and not is about 200 calories a day. I found the usefulness of volume eating, high fibre, voluminous low calorie foods stuffed my fridge. That and my cardinal rules of be prepared, don't get over hungry, and log everything served me very well for a long time.
But I got tired. I got SO tired of tracking and being hungry, and intermittently took time off. In those gaps I knowingly succumbed to "the log isn't watching, eat cupcakes" mentality. April of this year I decided to go a full month off logging, and I gained 3-4lbs that has taken me many months since to jettison again. Looking for something sustainable, I continued logging and working out while I attempted to figure out what my food future was going to look like, veering into over-exercising and developing some orthorexic tendencies that had a predictable knock-on effect on my social life and sense of mental health. My hunger remained at "I could eat something" pretty much 24 hours a day.
I'm not a big conscious analyzer, and just buckling down and waiting to see what surfaced, idea-wise, is more my process. All of a sudden earlier this month I decided it was time to go off log again and to eat more loosely but also mindfully and I'm cautiously optimistic. It's been about two weeks of no logging but sticking to my own version of clean and healthy with treats reasonably proportioned and spaced out, and really thinking about what my body WANTS to eat at any given snack or mealtime and balancing that intellectually with what I know about my day as it stands. The scale behaves exactly as I know it will given what I do and what I eat, I don't have to weigh and count to know how dinner should be or if I can splurge a bit at breakfast one day. I'm finally able to trust the absorption of all the facts and habits and evidence of the last couple of years and have hopefully found a version of intuitive eating that is working for me. PR'd my single mile and 5k time both just in the past two weeks - coincidence maybe, but I like to think it's a fact of loosening up and feeding myself - both food wise and mentally - in a funner way to aid my mood and ability to drive and recover.
Example from today: I ate a reasonable breakfast of overnight oats with fruit, had some toast and butter after I came back from my run. Lunch I just ate a home made quiche with beans, something which would NEVER have appeared on my menu this last couple of years, due to sticker shock from the calories and fear that the small volume would leave me hungry with minimal room left in the day. But I'm full enough and happier on it. I have a nice peach to have in a half hour or so, and some tea later on to get me through the rest of the work day.
I know I'm rambling a bit but maintenance has the potential to be quite the rollercoaster, as a lot of posts here evidence. I just wanted to share my version and the hope that I've finally found about giving myself a break - I feel like anybody who's got here and is seriously trying to stick with things knows or will soon know how tiring is keeping up the iron will. Don't rush yourself, keep logging, take practice breaks, allow good habits long stretches of time to solidify, keep your rules broad and flexible. That's all I got.
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Replies
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MelanieCN77 wrote: »About this time three years ago I made the decision to start getting my weight under control - at 5'5 and 184 I was moving out of feels good and curvy and into "yikes" when I saw random photographs. I was fairly sedentary outside of organised team sports a couple of times a week, and I always enjoyed food and the portions and the pounds crept.
It took me 8-9 months to lose 40lbs. The first 10 I lost by adopting the one habit of "eat a damn vegetable" by which I made myself eat a proper serving or two of fruit or vegetables with meals. That loss was fast but then slowed right down which is when I came to use MFP. I got an Apple Watch, I used Couch to 5k. I did home workouts. I counted calories. After my last 5lbs or so I joined a gym as I had got quite physically weak and set about maintenance.
Maintenance has been far rockier for me than any of the time losing ever was. The disheartening realisation that you don't ever go back to how things were before, eating wise, and over time that the difference for me between maintaining with 2-3lbs and not is about 200 calories a day. I found the usefulness of volume eating, high fibre, voluminous low calorie foods stuffed my fridge. That and my cardinal rules of be prepared, don't get over hungry, and log everything served me very well for a long time.
But I got tired. I got SO tired of tracking and being hungry, and intermittently took time off. In those gaps I knowingly succumbed to "the log isn't watching, eat cupcakes" mentality. April of this year I decided to go a full month off logging, and I gained 3-4lbs that has taken me many months since to jettison again. Looking for something sustainable, I continued logging and working out while I attempted to figure out what my food future was going to look like, veering into over-exercising and developing some orthorexic tendencies that had a predictable knock-on effect on my social life and sense of mental health. My hunger remained at "I could eat something" pretty much 24 hours a day.
I'm not a big conscious analyzer, and just buckling down and waiting to see what surfaced, idea-wise, is more my process. All of a sudden earlier this month I decided it was time to go off log again and to eat more loosely but also mindfully and I'm cautiously optimistic. It's been about two weeks of no logging but sticking to my own version of clean and healthy with treats reasonably proportioned and spaced out, and really thinking about what my body WANTS to eat at any given snack or mealtime and balancing that intellectually with what I know about my day as it stands. The scale behaves exactly as I know it will given what I do and what I eat, I don't have to weigh and count to know how dinner should be or if I can splurge a bit at breakfast one day. I'm finally able to trust the absorption of all the facts and habits and evidence of the last couple of years and have hopefully found a version of intuitive eating that is working for me. PR'd my single mile and 5k time both just in the past two weeks - coincidence maybe, but I like to think it's a fact of loosening up and feeding myself - both food wise and mentally - in a funner way to aid my mood and ability to drive and recover.
Example from today: I ate a reasonable breakfast of overnight oats with fruit, had some toast and butter after I came back from my run. Lunch I just ate a home made quiche with beans, something which would NEVER have appeared on my menu this last couple of years, due to sticker shock from the calories and fear that the small volume would leave me hungry with minimal room left in the day. But I'm full enough and happier on it. I have a nice peach to have in a half hour or so, and some tea later on to get me through the rest of the work day.
I know I'm rambling a bit but maintenance has the potential to be quite the rollercoaster, as a lot of posts here evidence. I just wanted to share my version and the hope that I've finally found about giving myself a break - I feel like anybody who's got here and is seriously trying to stick with things knows or will soon know how tiring is keeping up the iron will. Don't rush yourself, keep logging, take practice breaks, allow good habits long stretches of time to solidify, keep your rules broad and flexible. That's all I got.
I am pulling for you! @MelanieCN77 !6 -
MelanieCN77 wrote: »About this time three years ago I made the decision to start getting my weight under control - at 5'5 and 184 I was moving out of feels good and curvy and into "yikes" when I saw random photographs. I was fairly sedentary outside of organised team sports a couple of times a week, and I always enjoyed food and the portions and the pounds crept.
It took me 8-9 months to lose 40lbs. The first 10 I lost by adopting the one habit of "eat a damn vegetable" by which I made myself eat a proper serving or two of fruit or vegetables with meals. That loss was fast but then slowed right down which is when I came to use MFP. I got an Apple Watch, I used Couch to 5k. I did home workouts. I counted calories. After my last 5lbs or so I joined a gym as I had got quite physically weak and set about maintenance.
Maintenance has been far rockier for me than any of the time losing ever was. The disheartening realisation that you don't ever go back to how things were before, eating wise, and over time that the difference for me between maintaining with 2-3lbs and not is about 200 calories a day. I found the usefulness of volume eating, high fibre, voluminous low calorie foods stuffed my fridge. That and my cardinal rules of be prepared, don't get over hungry, and log everything served me very well for a long time.
But I got tired. I got SO tired of tracking and being hungry, and intermittently took time off. In those gaps I knowingly succumbed to "the log isn't watching, eat cupcakes" mentality. April of this year I decided to go a full month off logging, and I gained 3-4lbs that has taken me many months since to jettison again. Looking for something sustainable, I continued logging and working out while I attempted to figure out what my food future was going to look like, veering into over-exercising and developing some orthorexic tendencies that had a predictable knock-on effect on my social life and sense of mental health. My hunger remained at "I could eat something" pretty much 24 hours a day.
I'm not a big conscious analyzer, and just buckling down and waiting to see what surfaced, idea-wise, is more my process. All of a sudden earlier this month I decided it was time to go off log again and to eat more loosely but also mindfully and I'm cautiously optimistic. It's been about two weeks of no logging but sticking to my own version of clean and healthy with treats reasonably proportioned and spaced out, and really thinking about what my body WANTS to eat at any given snack or mealtime and balancing that intellectually with what I know about my day as it stands. The scale behaves exactly as I know it will given what I do and what I eat, I don't have to weigh and count to know how dinner should be or if I can splurge a bit at breakfast one day. I'm finally able to trust the absorption of all the facts and habits and evidence of the last couple of years and have hopefully found a version of intuitive eating that is working for me. PR'd my single mile and 5k time both just in the past two weeks - coincidence maybe, but I like to think it's a fact of loosening up and feeding myself - both food wise and mentally - in a funner way to aid my mood and ability to drive and recover.
Example from today: I ate a reasonable breakfast of overnight oats with fruit, had some toast and butter after I came back from my run. Lunch I just ate a home made quiche with beans, something which would NEVER have appeared on my menu this last couple of years, due to sticker shock from the calories and fear that the small volume would leave me hungry with minimal room left in the day. But I'm full enough and happier on it. I have a nice peach to have in a half hour or so, and some tea later on to get me through the rest of the work day.
I know I'm rambling a bit but maintenance has the potential to be quite the rollercoaster, as a lot of posts here evidence. I just wanted to share my version and the hope that I've finally found about giving myself a break - I feel like anybody who's got here and is seriously trying to stick with things knows or will soon know how tiring is keeping up the iron will. Don't rush yourself, keep logging, take practice breaks, allow good habits long stretches of time to solidify, keep your rules broad and flexible. That's all I got.
Hugs Melanie. Rooting for you@achieving your ideal.4 -
I'm over 7 years into this process now and maintenance continues to be very challenging for me, more-so the further into it I get. Like you I got so freakin' tired of the tracking, the hunger from having to stop eating because I was out of calories etc. And then this year I started transitioning into perimenopause, and that's added a layer of difficulty on top of an already frustrating experience.
I've made some drastic changes to my maintenance plan over the past few months and things are going much better now but I know that I have a long road ahead of me yet, along with the ups and downs that will continue to come as I get closer to menopause etc.
I don't have any advice but I completely understand and empathize with you. Best of luck to you as you continue to move forward ~hugs~12 -
@MelanieCN77 clearly, we are related!
Im going at 3 years since I lost #75. Holding steady lately. I will share a podcast that has been really helping me get my Head in a better place. It’s called losing 100 pounds with Phit and phat. Here’s the short version.... there are 4 basics 1) drink lots of water 2) get plenty of sleep 3) only eat when you’re hungry and stop when you’re satisfied and 4) plan. The host goes deep into some mind work that’s been really helpful for me. Give it a listen. I’d start with the episode call The Four Basics. I’m in your corner.16 -
Hi I lost 50kg eight years ago. And have managed to keep it off. I’m prouder of keeping it off than losing it in the first place! I still log everything but now have a minimum kilojoules budget that I can’t go below and a maximum that I try not to go over. So I have a 2000 kilojoules range and I only weigh myself once a week and record it.
So glad I was told about MFP it’s been a massive help. Good luck to all of us maintainers we show others it can be done and we can still enjoy life and food12 -
SarahAnne3958 wrote: »
I've made some drastic changes to my maintenance plan over the past few months and things are going much better now
What changes have you made? I'm early 40s and have those lovely changes to look forward to, in my not too distant future.@MelanieCN77 clearly, we are related!
Im going at 3 years since I lost #75. Holding steady lately. I will share a podcast that has been really helping me get my Head in a better place. It’s called losing 100 pounds with Phit and phat. Here’s the short version.... there are 4 basics 1) drink lots of water 2) get plenty of sleep 3) only eat when you’re hungry and stop when you’re satisfied and 4) plan. The host goes deep into some mind work that’s been really helpful for me. Give it a listen. I’d start with the episode call The Four Basics. I’m in your corner.
I will for sure check out the Podcast, those basics are familiar! Part of being prepared for me has involved a detailed cupboard and fridge spreadsheet and planning out a few days of meals ahead of time. I just transitioned that plan sheet to "ideas based on what's available" to add some more flexibility back in to my days, to lighten the mental discipline load. I would stick to my planned meals no matter what I really felt like, and it got very wearing in a pathetic way. This last couple of weeks have been really nice, I feel like I am trusting myself and letting go a little for something more informed-instinctive to have a chance.9 -
Loving hearing another truthful post from a long term maintainer
- It really is just as hard maintaining as losing. I too take logging breaks and can go months before I see weight creep (a few pounds then becomes 5 etc) happen gradually, its usually down to being a bit less active or letting myself eat that bit more - we know the score but sometimes we just want to eat and not have to think about the consequences, the odd day is fine but as we know, it catches up eventually if they become more frequent.
Thanks for posting 12 -
MelanieCN77 wrote: »SarahAnne3958 wrote: »
I've made some drastic changes to my maintenance plan over the past few months and things are going much better now
What changes have you made? I'm early 40s and have those lovely changes to look forward to, in my not too distant future.
I'm now very low carb/almost zero carb, and by having strict parameters with what I can eat, it's taken away the need to track anything, anymore. I'm now maintaining a very lean body-weight without counting/tracking/measuring at all.
I came into this year around 10lbs over the top end of my maintenance range and I just couldn't keep up with the tracking/weighing-out my food anymore. I had hit a mental wall hard, and actually was going back and forth with myself about just walking away from it all and accepting that I was going to re-gain the weight I had lost. I was even starting to justify this train of thought by comparing myself to family and friends, who were all overweight/obese. It just wasn't fair that I was struggling day after day to maintain a lower weight, when they were all eating what they wanted, not stressing out about calories or numbers or having to weigh out all their food or having to stop eating when they were still hungry etc etc.
In a nutshell I was having a grand pity party for myself
After a few days of that I slapped myself upside the head and got back at it. I knew I had to make some significant changes and I knew that I had to get away from tracking calories and using my food scale. My relationship with those things had become distorted and unhealthy and I needed to figure out how to lose the weight creep and then maintain again without those two things being a factor.
That led me to trying a lower carb style way of eating, and paying attention to macros splits for the first time, and things have snowballed from there. I never started down this path with the intention of going almost zero carb, but that's where I've found myself and for now its made maintenance doable again.
Very low carb will not appeal to most people, however its allowed me to maintain without having to stress about the numbers anymore. For me that's worth the trade-off of not being able to eat certain foods anymore. I would NOT recommend this way of eating to most people, and realize that what I'm doing is definitely not the 'norm' but it's working well for me, for this time in my life.
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I would love to stop tracking - but as soon as I do my weight starts to slowly creep - I didn't lose as much as you guys (massive high five for that, and the maintenance) but I am very short and show the weight a lot. I've put on a couple of kilos since my lowest weight (a year or so ago), which is ok as I think I have a bit more muscle too, but am terrified of putting any more on. I'm always thinking of food though. And could always eat, at any time of day or night.6
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It's been a little over a month and I haven't logged. Until about a week ago my weight was very stable, this last few days I've had the scale go up a half pound each day and I'm fighting the urge to log and seeing if it settles like it should. I just got finished with my period so am willing to acknowledge this as a factor, and I have got in the habit of doing a "body check" before I weigh and take an honest assessment of how I feel about what's going on before I see a number. Today I felt good and normal but the scale said hehehe. I'm really torn between pursuing my maintenance with the tight grip I have used all this time and giving this more relaxed approach more of a chance. Neither are a fun ideas, I feel like I have a choice between the sad iron willed logging forever or the more relaxed approach with a side of weight gain anxiety.
The thing I am working on mentally is disassociating my feelings about either path with anything to do with what it looks like to other people. I wasn't a huge blab about it in my personal life but people have eyes and I'm sure many of you who've been at it for years now feel this sense of an identity of sorts built around your weight loss and fitness gains. My brain says that if I gain weight then I'll look like someone who couldn't stick it out, like just another one of those dieters who loosened their grip and was undisciplined and couldn't stay the course. This is the language supplied by my anxiety on that front. In reality I am so much less judgmental and kind about other bodies than my own. It's almost like the struggle isn't even about weight, but about personal discipline (which is actually a big thing I appreciate in myself in other life things, I'm good about getting *kitten* done) and it's quite the lesson to try to mesh all the things together that I know to be true and ok.
Anyway.13 -
@MelanieCN77 I've felt that way MANY times, sometimes its hard to not let the scale reading rule how we feel. If you've done fine up til last week then its more likely water retention. Its too soon to say for sure if gain is real and you'd need more time yet, another month at least before you'd change anything.
I can see my weight spike for 10 days up to 2 weeks from TOM starts, so there are hormonal variables and it differs from woman to woman.
You are 3 years in maintenance, have faith in your ability to maintain. Unless your eating and exercising habits change all should be well.6 -
Thank you for your post Melanie---the struggle is real. After 5 yrs on here, I find myself in your boat, and it looks like it's getting crowded. Unfortunately I live in Italy and cook carb heavy meals everyday. I cook for 3 men, but that can up to 4 + my daughter-in-law. I have to have a lot of food in the house, and prepare it from scratch. I will be following this for ideas.5
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MelanieCN77 wrote: »It's been a little over a month and I haven't logged. Until about a week ago my weight was very stable, this last few days I've had the scale go up a half pound each day and I'm fighting the urge to log and seeing if it settles like it should. I just got finished with my period so am willing to acknowledge this as a factor, and I have got in the habit of doing a "body check" before I weigh and take an honest assessment of how I feel about what's going on before I see a number. Today I felt good and normal but the scale said hehehe. I'm really torn between pursuing my maintenance with the tight grip I have used all this time and giving this more relaxed approach more of a chance. Neither are a fun ideas, I feel like I have a choice between the sad iron willed logging forever or the more relaxed approach with a side of weight gain anxiety.
The thing I am working on mentally is disassociating my feelings about either path with anything to do with what it looks like to other people. I wasn't a huge blab about it in my personal life but people have eyes and I'm sure many of you who've been at it for years now feel this sense of an identity of sorts built around your weight loss and fitness gains. My brain says that if I gain weight then I'll look like someone who couldn't stick it out, like just another one of those dieters who loosened their grip and was undisciplined and couldn't stay the course. This is the language supplied by my anxiety on that front. In reality I am so much less judgmental and kind about other bodies than my own. It's almost like the struggle isn't even about weight, but about personal discipline (which is actually a big thing I appreciate in myself in other life things, I'm good about getting *kitten* done) and it's quite the lesson to try to mesh all the things together that I know to be true and ok.
Anyway.
I feel you ma'am. I want to let you know, you ARE a heroine to me as are many people here. You have the Ovarian Fortitude to try something different! That is COURAGEOUS! I have gained 20lbs and am actually feeling better some days. Still not there. I, like you, refuse to let society tell me how to live. What is life if it is just miserable? I still think my assessment of what will happen in the message I sent you. I have faith in you.7 -
I'm not trying to whine all over the place but I am clearly not the only person struggling to stay present and healthy at the same time. I'm aware of how disordered some of the thinking I have is - I just ran 5 miles this morning, but I have a fold of skin over the top of my leggings so don't feel too proud of yourself, kinda thing. Honestly who in my world even cares except for me? I'd love to blame conditioning but I think this is all me. If I gained 5lbs not a single person I know would notice, care, or comment.
Listening to myself I think I am doing the right thing riding it out and accepting wherever I level out, where I remain active and capable of living my life.19 -
Someone once told me that "if the price of living in a healthy body was logging, then log!"6
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MelanieCN77 wrote: »I'm not trying to whine all over the place but I am clearly not the only person struggling to stay present and healthy at the same time. I'm aware of how disordered some of the thinking I have is - I just ran 5 miles this morning, but I have a fold of skin over the top of my leggings so don't feel too proud of yourself, kinda thing. Honestly who in my world even cares except for me? I'd love to blame conditioning but I think this is all me. If I gained 5lbs not a single person I know would notice, care, or comment.
Listening to myself I think I am doing the right thing riding it out and accepting wherever I level out, where I remain active and capable of living my life.
It's not whining ma'am. You are just venting to people who might understand what you are dealing with
@fitqueenbess did the same person say it was ok to walk around with a hamster burrowing in your stomach constantly as well for a fit body?5 -
MelanieCN77 wrote: »Listening to myself I think I am doing the right thing riding it out and accepting wherever I level out, where I remain active and capable of living my life.
^^ this sounds like a great plan.
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@MelanieCN77 I’m also 3 years in maintenance and as you know from my posts, struggling occasionally too. My ultimate goal is to learn to listen to my body. To eat when I’m hungry and stop when I’m satisfied. Who knew such an easy concept could be so difficult to implement.11
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@MelanieCN77 I’m also 3 years in maintenance and as you know from my posts, struggling occasionally too. My ultimate goal is to learn to listen to my body. To eat when I’m hungry and stop when I’m satisfied. Who knew such an easy concept could be so difficult to implement.
I feel like some of us go out and have this hugely complex journey that shakes up our relationship with food and our bodies and the end point (intuitive eating) seems so simple but in fact we have hopefully merely internalized better strategies and habits that can be let to simmer along in the subconscious like they were always supposed to. The education has been important but at some point we have to stop studying and take the practical. We're both smart and aware, I don't believe it's beyond us!11 -
MelanieCN77 wrote: »@MelanieCN77 I’m also 3 years in maintenance and as you know from my posts, struggling occasionally too. My ultimate goal is to learn to listen to my body. To eat when I’m hungry and stop when I’m satisfied. Who knew such an easy concept could be so difficult to implement.
I feel like some of us go out and have this hugely complex journey that shakes up our relationship with food and our bodies and the end point (intuitive eating) seems so simple but in fact we have hopefully merely internalized better strategies and habits that can be let to simmer along in the subconscious like they were always supposed to. The education has been important but at some point we have to stop studying and take the practical. We're both smart and aware, I don't believe it's beyond us!
Or not. I have yo yo'd my weight (only 20-30 pounds but that's a lot for a petite) since I was a teen. Honestly I think of gaining weight as an addiction. I need to use certain tools to keep in maintenance which others who perhaps do not have the same addiction do not need. Sure I can be successful pretending to be a mindful eater for a while - sometimes months or even years - but my bottom line is that I will regain if I don't set certain rules like logging and weighing.
I don't pretend or care that my relationship with food will ever be normal and honestly it's not all that big a deal. There are a lot worse addictions to have (smoking, drinking, drugs, etc).
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