I need some advice please (ADHD'ers please help)
morgaen01
Posts: 12 Member
Hi 
I'm not new to this site. I originally joined this site in 2013. I weights 162kg (357lbs) at the time. Over the next 4 years I lost 62kg (137lbs). During that time I was obsessed, measured and weighed everything. Going out cause friction in my marriage because I didnt want to go anywhere where I couldn't measure what I was eating, which is pretty much nowhere. South Africa isnt as progressive as some other countries. But, everything went well. I weighed 100kg (220lbs) which I was very comfortable with. I had 18% body fat. People were complimenting me (important for later) and thant kept me going and I even started doing crossfit and recomp.
Then in 2017 I got a new boss and things fell apart. Workload increased, deadlines shortened and started getting into a lot of trouble for poor quality work and not achieving my outputs. My end of 2018 I was depressed and I started eating more and stopped exercising because I had to work longer hours.
By March 2018 I couldn't take the work stress anymore and I got help. Turned out I have inattentive ADHD (the not-hyperactive kind) and reading/writing disorders. Even though South Africa has strict law protecting employees and my manager is a lawyer, the diagnoses made no impact. She simply refused to accept that it had any impact on my work and put even more pressure on me. So, I picked up more weight and by the time I resigned in July 2018 I had picked up 10kg (22lbs). The day after I resigned I got called in told to pack my stuff immediately and leave. They would pay me for the month but I wasnt alloed at the office, effectively making my resignation feel like I was fired. So, for a month I sat home, watched tv and ate.
Skip forward to now .. I have a great job, great "boss" and my life is damn near perfect. However, I now weigh 125kg (275lbs) and have lost most of my muscle mass. I just have no motivation to eat right or go to gym. I feel horrible about myself and the fact that i went from a Large shirt to XXXL. BUT apparently not bad enough to get me to live healthy. According to my doctor the ADHD meds are appetite suppressors but I haven't found that to be the case either.
How on Earth do I get back to being motivated to live healthy?
I'm not new to this site. I originally joined this site in 2013. I weights 162kg (357lbs) at the time. Over the next 4 years I lost 62kg (137lbs). During that time I was obsessed, measured and weighed everything. Going out cause friction in my marriage because I didnt want to go anywhere where I couldn't measure what I was eating, which is pretty much nowhere. South Africa isnt as progressive as some other countries. But, everything went well. I weighed 100kg (220lbs) which I was very comfortable with. I had 18% body fat. People were complimenting me (important for later) and thant kept me going and I even started doing crossfit and recomp.
Then in 2017 I got a new boss and things fell apart. Workload increased, deadlines shortened and started getting into a lot of trouble for poor quality work and not achieving my outputs. My end of 2018 I was depressed and I started eating more and stopped exercising because I had to work longer hours.
By March 2018 I couldn't take the work stress anymore and I got help. Turned out I have inattentive ADHD (the not-hyperactive kind) and reading/writing disorders. Even though South Africa has strict law protecting employees and my manager is a lawyer, the diagnoses made no impact. She simply refused to accept that it had any impact on my work and put even more pressure on me. So, I picked up more weight and by the time I resigned in July 2018 I had picked up 10kg (22lbs). The day after I resigned I got called in told to pack my stuff immediately and leave. They would pay me for the month but I wasnt alloed at the office, effectively making my resignation feel like I was fired. So, for a month I sat home, watched tv and ate.
Skip forward to now .. I have a great job, great "boss" and my life is damn near perfect. However, I now weigh 125kg (275lbs) and have lost most of my muscle mass. I just have no motivation to eat right or go to gym. I feel horrible about myself and the fact that i went from a Large shirt to XXXL. BUT apparently not bad enough to get me to live healthy. According to my doctor the ADHD meds are appetite suppressors but I haven't found that to be the case either.
How on Earth do I get back to being motivated to live healthy?
3
Replies
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Motivation is a short term burst that is so overrated, so useless for long term efforts. You need to make changes that you just do because you have to. Discipline over motivation.
That said, you're looking at the big picture and making yourself tired before you even start. Do something small at first. Just log your food. Don't even worry about calories yet, just get back into the habit of logging.
Once you've done that, start building on it. Piece by piece, slowly over time, rebuild those habits from before.6 -
We have one body to make this trip on planet earth. I’ve friends who treat their cars and pets better than their own bodies. I don’t want the wheels to fall off this body sooner than necessary.
I’d suggest starting with one minute, one step and keep a short-term view. And looking back only makes looking forward nearly impossible.2 -
Wait, are you me? I think things like a job loss (regardless of the reason) can sometimes make me hold on to negativity. It can trigger abandonment and rejection issues from childhood and set my mind to spinning. I was diagnosed ADHD when I was in a very stressful job with deadlines and a hovering boss too, however I don't believe it was a correct diagnosis - I think it was the job. That may or may not be the case for you.
I've had some years to dissect what happened and it was helpful to talk it out. I've always done well in every other job, so I needed to stop believing what I was told - that I was in some way defective because I couldn't meet the insane parameters. I stayed in the job six years. In the ten years since I've left they have gone through seven people trying to fill the role. It wasn't me.
Have you considered talking this out with a counselor? There is some mental block you're not seeing and maybe another set of eyes could help.1 -
First off that's the best type of quitting when they make you leave but pay you. I worked in law firms and with all the confidential stuff I'm not surprised they'd do that.
Secondly, what meds are you on? My son takes two different ones....Concerta is an appetite suppressor and his Intuniv is an appetite stimulator. He gets that one in the evenings so he is starving always at 10pm and since he's super skinny we feed him as much as he'll eat then. He also has a voracious appetite when he's not on the Concerta.
Anyway living with ADHD is tough. Since going to appts with my son I realize I have it too. Mine is more hyperactive though. If I have spare time I will do something active. Lately it's been obsessive decluttering and cleaning my house. I decided I needed to paint the bathroom and I went and got paint and painted. With ADHD comes poor impulse control often. Oh btw I'm doing all this heavy labour while I await shoulder surgery to repair a tear. While my drs say take it easy I just can't
So I agree with the above poster. Find a counsellor. My son has one he sees and it helps. I have learned recently people with ADHD have trouble with executive functions which are things like organizing tasks and getting started. A counsellor can assist you with this. Teach you how to prioritize things like your health.0 -
Good points, Ali.
When I was medicated it was a big mess. I was on five different meds just to deal with that job. It wasn't even that good a job, but I had twisted myself in knots to try to be good at it. I had so many side effects from all the drugs and I couldn't sleep and I ate voraciously.
When I quit that job was when I was able to lose the 70+ pounds. I was finally able to relax, physically and emotionally.
I also took myself off ALL my meds other than levothyroxine (thyroid).
I quit drinking, too. That was causing its own set of nervous-system problems.0 -
Not ADD, but bipolar here. I went through a depression and went from 205 to 301 over about 2 years (205-270 in 9 months). Also I was living off my savings not working, not working out, and eating like crap and way too much of it.
When I decided to make a change, I went back to the weightlifting first because I honestly love lifting. I told myself if I found that love again, everything else would fall into place. It did, within 3 months I was in school and 2 weeks later I was tracking food and cutting. That was in April of 2018 when I first picked up the weights again. I'm currently 226 and cutting after maintaining for 6ish months between 230-240. I lift almost daily and work a pretty good job now.
The point of my story- first get back to what you had a passion for in the past. It really sounds like you enjoyed working out as well. Get back to that first- it's going to suck and you're going to have to force it for a while- but the love will come back, and the food will follow suit. Being active really encourages it...idc who you are, riding a bicycle at 220 is more fun than at 275.
Cheers1 -
cmriverside wrote: »Good points, Ali.
When I was medicated it was a big mess. I was on five different meds just to deal with that job. It wasn't even that good a job, but I had twisted myself in knots to try to be good at it. I had so many side effects from all the drugs and I couldn't sleep and I ate voraciously.
When I quit that job was when I was able to lose the 70+ pounds. I was finally able to relax, physically and emotionally.
I also took myself off ALL my meds other than levothyroxine (thyroid).
I quit drinking, too. That was causing its own set of nervous-system problems.
My son did a battery of tests recently because we're looking into alternatives schools for him and we learned of this executive functioning. It makes a lot of sense and makes sense why being in a stressful job would be more stress.
We had it explained as if someone tells you to sit down, get your math book, turn to page 15 and do question 4 then come back to me. Someone with poor executive functions get distracted at step 2 of that. So think of it if you are working a stressful job your brain knows that you have to go to work, do x, y and z and then go home and workout. Well by the time you have done x you can barely remember y and z let alone workout.
Not making excuses but I can really see this being a problem. So talking to someone to help you create strategies is really beneficial. This is what we're doing making lists and check boxes so we can check off doing things
I'm the same way I can know I have 15 things to do and then I just sit here and can't figure out how to. Being active really settles my mind though so once I start I am in energized bunny mode0 -
I'm the same way I can know I have 15 things to do and then I just sit here and can't figure out how to. Being active really settles my mind though so once I start I am in energized bunny mode
Such a good explanation.
I am not sure if you mean this, but for me exercise (planned daily exercise) really helps settle me down so I can focus. Also, jobs where I have to sit are the kiss of death for me. My mind won't let up when I can't move around.
Then the other thing is when I'm generally stressed, I learned as a kid to eat. Eating fixes stuff. Especially carbs, since I tend to be on the depressive/ruminating side.
Quitting alcohol has changed me in so many ways and I'm now able to access Executive Function. I know that isn't your son's issue, but it did help me. A Lot.0 -
Thank you very much everyone I'm on Concerta and methylphenidate but I think I've built up a resistance to the methylphenidate lol
I've seen a councilor. Specifically to help me get organised after I started my new job. Don't have the money to see her again now though.
Today was a good day. I did 30 minutes cardio and did some physical stuff at home. Staying under mu calories so far.
Tomorrow ... I'll worry about when I wake up lol
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Thank you very much everyone I'm on Concerta and methylphenidate but I think I've built up a resistance to the methylphenidate lol
I've seen a councilor. Specifically to help me get organised after I started my new job. Don't have the money to see her again now though.
Today was a good day. I did 30 minutes cardio and did some physical stuff at home. Staying under mu calories so far.
Tomorrow ... I'll worry about when I wake up lol
Concerta is an appetite suppressant so that's odd. My son is constantly getting his weight checked.
Yay for being physical I think that's the key.0 -
cmriverside wrote: »I'm the same way I can know I have 15 things to do and then I just sit here and can't figure out how to. Being active really settles my mind though so once I start I am in energized bunny mode
Such a good explanation.
I am not sure if you mean this, but for me exercise (planned daily exercise) really helps settle me down so I can focus. Also, jobs where I have to sit are the kiss of death for me. My mind won't let up when I can't move around.
Then the other thing is when I'm generally stressed, I learned as a kid to eat. Eating fixes stuff. Especially carbs, since I tend to be on the depressive/ruminating side.
Quitting alcohol has changed me in so many ways and I'm now able to access Executive Function. I know that isn't your son's issue, but it did help me. A Lot.
Haha hopefully my son doesn't drink hahah
He finds playing piano calms him or drawing.
I grew up figuring skating and an athlete so food was fuel. I love cooking but eating I can always moderate. Then again I'm active.
But yes you are right when my body is exhausted from working out my mind can be focussed. There are days I get done what most people do in a week. When I was working I'd have all work completed quicker than anyone else.
Having a different brain can be tough but it's really a wonderful blessing I think1 -
I'm on Concerta for my ADHD and at the beginning I found I wasnt hungry but unfortunately that didnt last long..lol0
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Are you guys taking the generic or nor generic? Apparently there is a difference we have to specify no substitute0
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kosseychick wrote: »I'm on Concerta for my ADHD and at the beginning I found I wasnt hungry but unfortunately that didnt last long..lol
Yeah I'm finding the same. It is still better than Ritalin though, for me.cmriverside wrote: »I'm the same way I can know I have 15 things to do and then I just sit here and can't figure out how to. Being active really settles my mind though so once I start I am in energized bunny mode
Such a good explanation.
I am not sure if you mean this, but for me exercise (planned daily exercise) really helps settle me down so I can focus. Also, jobs where I have to sit are the kiss of death for me. My mind won't let up when I can't move around.
Then the other thing is when I'm generally stressed, I learned as a kid to eat. Eating fixes stuff. Especially carbs, since I tend to be on the depressive/ruminating side.
Quitting alcohol has changed me in so many ways and I'm now able to access Executive Function. I know that isn't your son's issue, but it did help me. A Lot.
I dont normally consume any alcohol. At special occasions I may have a glass of wine but I don't consume alcohol at home.AliNouveau wrote: »Are you guys taking the generic or nor generic? Apparently there is a difference we have to specify no substitute
I'm taking taking the original.
I'm considering a keto diet for a few months just to shale things up a bit.0 -
@AliNouveau I'm taking the actual Concerta and not the generic.0
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I guess people react differently to it.
We might try vivance I think it is next.0
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