so disgusted with myself

Here I am and I feel so disgusted with myself. LIke how did I let myself go this bad???? What is wrong with me? I was so slender and working out daily and looking amazing for years. Then a few years ago I had some life changes and I just gave up and fell into a depression. I have packed on 70 pounds and doubled in size over the past few years. I don't even recognize the person in the mirror who I have become. I have so many new aches and pains as a result. I want to get back to that person I was before the depression. I want to stop feeling down and introverted and start living and appreciating everything again. I have reached a point where I don't like to go out in public, go into stores, go to social functions. Any encouragement or motivation to help me to get back in the mindset of happiness, fitness and CARING about myself again is appreciated.
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Replies

  • swim777
    swim777 Posts: 599 Member
    We have all been there. You are here and ready to take care of you! Set a reasonable goal and choose foods that you enjoy. You can do this! We are all here to support you!
  • psychod787
    psychod787 Posts: 4,088 Member
    I have made many "mistakes" and been disgusted with the outcomes in this adventure. All we can do is move forward with what we need to do and hope for the best. Best wishes!
  • DANINJ35
    DANINJ35 Posts: 5 Member
    I am in the same place as you - disgusted with myself. I started tracking food this week and taking time to read other's stories on here. Good luck to you!
  • brenn24179
    brenn24179 Posts: 2,144 Member
    I feel so bad for you, yes it is so depressing gaining weight and losing control. I seen a lady at the gym lose 160 lbs and I thought well I can lose 40 if she did that. I did what she did. I ate 100 gr of carbs a day or less, did my calorie logging and lost it. You can to, find your thing so you can be happy again!
  • lemurcat2
    lemurcat2 Posts: 7,899 Member
    Definitely been there.

    All I can say is that focusing on positive steps is often really helpful. Try not to beat yourself up or focus on regret, but make a plan (use MFP to set a calorie goal and if you want add some kind of non punishing, enjoyable seeming activity goal) and then just do it. I found it helpful for myself to do this in writing and check in daily and weekly to make note of what was working, what was hard, my mindset, my accomplishments, etc. It was amazing how quickly that helped me feel much more positive and in control even well before I'd lost a significant amount of weight.
  • neugebauer52
    neugebauer52 Posts: 1,120 Member
    No, no - please don't call yourself depreciating names. That's all in the past, today is a new day. You have found MFP and all those supportive members. Cheer up, take it day by day, trust the MFP calculations and make slow changes. In no time you will see improvements. Believe in yourself, you are strong, you will succeed.
  • girlwithcurls2
    girlwithcurls2 Posts: 2,257 Member
    Please, please read these replies with an open heart. So many people here have been where you are. Or they're in the same spot. You're not the only one to feel like this. You're not the first either. It's a terrible feeling, self loathing. Make the decision to love yourself. You are no less worthy of goodness now than you were when you weighed less. What would you tell a friend? Tell yourself that. Take baby steps each day. It's a long process, but you have nothing but time. And come back here when you need encouragement.
  • kenyonhaff
    kenyonhaff Posts: 1,377 Member
    You're taking a huge step by being here!

    Just start logging. Don't be discouraged by mistakes -- they're important to make because you will learn from them. Measure your food. Go for moderate rate loss, you can always adjust.