Judgmental Things

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Replies

  • s131951
    s131951 Posts: 3,776 Member
    Cahgetsfit wrote: »
    People Who Type Everything Like This Drive Me Absolutely Effing Batshit! Because OMG Haven't You Ever Heard Of Sentence Case? Or Is It Some Newfangled Youth Thing That Is Cool? I Mean, It's Even Hard To Type This Way Having To Keep Hitting The Shift BUtton All The Bloody Time Arrghhhhhh.

    Totally Judging.

    sOMETIMES mY pHONE dOES tHAT aUTOMATICALLY. iT'S wEIRD.
  • s131951
    s131951 Posts: 3,776 Member
    I judge you if you go out in public during the day in your pajama pants.

    Guilty as charged for going out in pajama pants. May also have made a snide remark at someone who gave me a dirty look over it. I judge people who overdress for things. Like listen it’s a kids award ceremony, who you trying to impress in your skin tight short leather skirt, stripper heels and plunging neckline?

    That's overdressing?
  • Tinydancer106
    Tinydancer106 Posts: 3,678 Member
    s131951 wrote: »
    I judge you if you go out in public during the day in your pajama pants.

    Guilty as charged for going out in pajama pants. May also have made a snide remark at someone who gave me a dirty look over it. I judge people who overdress for things. Like listen it’s a kids award ceremony, who you trying to impress in your skin tight short leather skirt, stripper heels and plunging neckline?

    That's overdressing?

    😂😂😂...you slay me boy!!
  • GymGoddessGoals
    GymGoddessGoals Posts: 2,146 Member
    edited November 2019
    bojack5 wrote: »
    I used to sorta judge people whose kids acted completely out of control and made the assumption that there just wasn't any discipline. I have learned that kids don't all react to the same methods. Sometimes the parent is at fault for unruly kids, but it isn't fair for me to ever assume that.

    I deplore parents of screaming children in restaurants. Guilty of being judgmental on that one.

    One of the most cringeworthy things i can remember was being at a diner with a buddy and his wife and his ridiculously unbehaved kids. The kids were yelling and screaming and throwing things and my buddy and his wife in my opinion were doing little to get it under control. The other people in the place were getting upset, some moved to other tables and some started to complain. My friend was getting angry with the people not his kids! I am not one to tell anyone how to raise their children but i was miserable sitting there while my friend argued with people over kids being kids. It was horrible and to this day he still has a problem with me "not having his back" in that situation.
    bojack5 wrote: »
    I used to sorta judge people whose kids acted completely out of control and made the assumption that there just wasn't any discipline. I have learned that kids don't all react to the same methods. Sometimes the parent is at fault for unruly kids, but it isn't fair for me to ever assume that.

    I deplore parents of screaming children in restaurants. Guilty of being judgmental on that one.

    One of the most cringeworthy things i can remember was being at a diner with a buddy and his wife and his ridiculously unbehaved kids. The kids were yelling and screaming and throwing things and my buddy and his wife in my opinion were doing little to get it under control. The other people in the place were getting upset, some moved to other tables and some started to complain. My friend was getting angry with the people not his kids! I am not one to tell anyone how to raise their children but i was miserable sitting there while my friend argued with people over kids being kids. It was horrible and to this day he still has a problem with me "not having his back" in that situation.

    Yep.. this is exactly the situation that I cannot accept. Children being children is one thing. They should also know how to behave in public. And one's behaving children are disturbing the others around them to the point that they complain or have to move.. the parents are the problem. Not the children. Too many parents want to be friends with their children and are raising entitled little tyrants.

    I was like both of you. A relative of mine is this type of parent who doesn't try and doesn't discipline so I felt like that was probably always the case with misbehaving kids, but it isn't. There are a lot of kids out there that lack the ability to control certain behaviors for a number of different reasons. These kids do not always look "different". Most little kids do not have the desire to be "bad", they have a problem that isn't always easily recognizable or solvable. Once you have been in the presence of kids like this you develop a very different opinion and a lot of compassion for the worn out parents who deal with it all day, every single day and were hoping and praying for an uneventful dinner or shopping trip.

    I know those kids personally and very well. I still say it's the parents responsibility to take them out of the public area where they are disturbing others or to a place that caters to children. Again, it's not the child's fault, the responsibility belongs to the parent. I too am hoping for a quiet uneventful dinner or shopping trip.
  • ythannah
    ythannah Posts: 4,366 Member
    I judge you if you go out in public during the day in your pajama pants.

    My dad never owned a pair of jeans, he always wore dress pants. He didn't have sweat pants until he broke his leg and they went back in the closet when his cast came off.

    When he was hospitalized last year, physio wanted him to have light pants for exercises so I bought him flannel sleep pants. (Eventually I had to buy him new dress pants because his were too big) But now that he's home he lives in flannel sleep pants and wears them when I take him out too. I think the only time the dress pants come out is for doctor appointments.
  • Tinydancer106
    Tinydancer106 Posts: 3,678 Member
    ythannah wrote: »
    I judge you if you go out in public during the day in your pajama pants.

    My dad never owned a pair of jeans, he always wore dress pants. He didn't have sweat pants until he broke his leg and they went back in the closet when his cast came off.

    When he was hospitalized last year, physio wanted him to have light pants for exercises so I bought him flannel sleep pants. (Eventually I had to buy him new dress pants because his were too big) But now that he's home he lives in flannel sleep pants and wears them when I take him out too. I think the only time the dress pants come out is for doctor appointments.

    That's adorable!!🤗
  • Tinydancer106
    Tinydancer106 Posts: 3,678 Member
    bojack5 wrote: »
    I used to sorta judge people whose kids acted completely out of control and made the assumption that there just wasn't any discipline. I have learned that kids don't all react to the same methods. Sometimes the parent is at fault for unruly kids, but it isn't fair for me to ever assume that.

    I deplore parents of screaming children in restaurants. Guilty of being judgmental on that one.

    One of the most cringeworthy things i can remember was being at a diner with a buddy and his wife and his ridiculously unbehaved kids. The kids were yelling and screaming and throwing things and my buddy and his wife in my opinion were doing little to get it under control. The other people in the place were getting upset, some moved to other tables and some started to complain. My friend was getting angry with the people not his kids! I am not one to tell anyone how to raise their children but i was miserable sitting there while my friend argued with people over kids being kids. It was horrible and to this day he still has a problem with me "not having his back" in that situation.
    bojack5 wrote: »
    I used to sorta judge people whose kids acted completely out of control and made the assumption that there just wasn't any discipline. I have learned that kids don't all react to the same methods. Sometimes the parent is at fault for unruly kids, but it isn't fair for me to ever assume that.

    I deplore parents of screaming children in restaurants. Guilty of being judgmental on that one.

    One of the most cringeworthy things i can remember was being at a diner with a buddy and his wife and his ridiculously unbehaved kids. The kids were yelling and screaming and throwing things and my buddy and his wife in my opinion were doing little to get it under control. The other people in the place were getting upset, some moved to other tables and some started to complain. My friend was getting angry with the people not his kids! I am not one to tell anyone how to raise their children but i was miserable sitting there while my friend argued with people over kids being kids. It was horrible and to this day he still has a problem with me "not having his back" in that situation.

    Yep.. this is exactly the situation that I cannot accept. Children being children is one thing. They should also know how to behave in public. And one's behaving children are disturbing the others around them to the point that they complain or have to move.. the parents are the problem. Not the children. Too many parents want to be friends with their children and are raising entitled little tyrants.

    I was like both of you. A relative of mine is this type of parent who doesn't try and doesn't discipline so I felt like that was probably always the case with misbehaving kids, but it isn't. There are a lot of kids out there that lack the ability to control certain behaviors for a number of different reasons. These kids do not always look "different". Most little kids do not have the desire to be "bad", they have a problem that isn't always easily recognizable or solvable. Once you have been in the presence of kids like this you develop a very different opinion and a lot of compassion for the worn out parents who deal with it all day, every single day and were hoping and praying for an uneventful dinner or shopping trip.

    I missed post...exactly and hugs!!!😎🤘💗
  • InspectorRed
    InspectorRed Posts: 757 Member
    ythannah wrote: »
    I judge you if you go out in public during the day in your pajama pants.

    My dad never owned a pair of jeans, he always wore dress pants. He didn't have sweat pants until he broke his leg and they went back in the closet when his cast came off.

    When he was hospitalized last year, physio wanted him to have light pants for exercises so I bought him flannel sleep pants. (Eventually I had to buy him new dress pants because his were too big) But now that he's home he lives in flannel sleep pants and wears them when I take him out too. I think the only time the dress pants come out is for doctor appointments.

    Obviously I SHOULDN'T judge, I am sure there are other people who have good reason to where pajama pants in public too. And of course, everyone CAN where what they want, where they want, when they want...
    Anything else I say here would probably get me in trouble, so I will just bow out. I was attempting to get the subject back to something a little more light-hearted, but apparently that's not happening.
  • Tinydancer106
    Tinydancer106 Posts: 3,678 Member
    bojack5 wrote: »
    I used to sorta judge people whose kids acted completely out of control and made the assumption that there just wasn't any discipline. I have learned that kids don't all react to the same methods. Sometimes the parent is at fault for unruly kids, but it isn't fair for me to ever assume that.

    I deplore parents of screaming children in restaurants. Guilty of being judgmental on that one.

    One of the most cringeworthy things i can remember was being at a diner with a buddy and his wife and his ridiculously unbehaved kids. The kids were yelling and screaming and throwing things and my buddy and his wife in my opinion were doing little to get it under control. The other people in the place were getting upset, some moved to other tables and some started to complain. My friend was getting angry with the people not his kids! I am not one to tell anyone how to raise their children but i was miserable sitting there while my friend argued with people over kids being kids. It was horrible and to this day he still has a problem with me "not having his back" in that situation.
    bojack5 wrote: »
    I used to sorta judge people whose kids acted completely out of control and made the assumption that there just wasn't any discipline. I have learned that kids don't all react to the same methods. Sometimes the parent is at fault for unruly kids, but it isn't fair for me to ever assume that.

    I deplore parents of screaming children in restaurants. Guilty of being judgmental on that one.

    One of the most cringeworthy things i can remember was being at a diner with a buddy and his wife and his ridiculously unbehaved kids. The kids were yelling and screaming and throwing things and my buddy and his wife in my opinion were doing little to get it under control. The other people in the place were getting upset, some moved to other tables and some started to complain. My friend was getting angry with the people not his kids! I am not one to tell anyone how to raise their children but i was miserable sitting there while my friend argued with people over kids being kids. It was horrible and to this day he still has a problem with me "not having his back" in that situation.

    Yep.. this is exactly the situation that I cannot accept. Children being children is one thing. They should also know how to behave in public. And one's behaving children are disturbing the others around them to the point that they complain or have to move.. the parents are the problem. Not the children. Too many parents want to be friends with their children and are raising entitled little tyrants.

    I was like both of you. A relative of mine is this type of parent who doesn't try and doesn't discipline so I felt like that was probably always the case with misbehaving kids, but it isn't. There are a lot of kids out there that lack the ability to control certain behaviors for a number of different reasons. These kids do not always look "different". Most little kids do not have the desire to be "bad", they have a problem that isn't always easily recognizable or solvable. Once you have been in the presence of kids like this you develop a very different opinion and a lot of compassion for the worn out parents who deal with it all day, every single day and were hoping and praying for an uneventful dinner or shopping trip.

    I know those kids personally and very well. I still say it's the parents responsibility to take them out of the public area where they are disturbing others or to a place that caters to children. Again, it's not the child's fault, the responsibility belongs to the parent. I too am hoping for a quiet uneventful dinner or shopping trip.

    this is true too....i wouldn't bring my guy to a fancy adult restaurant etc too much pressure for us both....hugs!
  • George_of_the_Jungle
    George_of_the_Jungle Posts: 3,316 Member
    I judge you if you go out in public during the day in your pajama pants.

    Every morning almost i put my kids on the bus in PJ's, a robe, messy bun, and no makeup. Drop yo gavel. :D
  • Tinydancer106
    Tinydancer106 Posts: 3,678 Member
    bojack5 wrote: »
    I used to sorta judge people whose kids acted completely out of control and made the assumption that there just wasn't any discipline. I have learned that kids don't all react to the same methods. Sometimes the parent is at fault for unruly kids, but it isn't fair for me to ever assume that.

    I deplore parents of screaming children in restaurants. Guilty of being judgmental on that one.

    One of the most cringeworthy things i can remember was being at a diner with a buddy and his wife and his ridiculously unbehaved kids. The kids were yelling and screaming and throwing things and my buddy and his wife in my opinion were doing little to get it under control. The other people in the place were getting upset, some moved to other tables and some started to complain. My friend was getting angry with the people not his kids! I am not one to tell anyone how to raise their children but i was miserable sitting there while my friend argued with people over kids being kids. It was horrible and to this day he still has a problem with me "not having his back" in that situation.

    Omg...i really feel for you there....any other situation I would say you really don't know what is going on ..the child may have issues or whatever it may be ...but since you know your friend and you are seeing what was happening directly.... yikes 🙄🤐yeah they make it bad for the rest of us who have children that are not always able to settle down on their own due to special needs Etc.

    Believe me I have had my very "typically looking" child called fresh...asked why I spoil him...been given dirty looks etc....its very very hard on my heart to hear that even though I know it's not always others faults for being "judgy"....but I used to say oh I'm so sorry...and try to explain his sitch...only to get more looks and to go home and cry and just be really hurt by it....now....now I stare them back in the eyes which will almost always make them look away and say something like.."autism is a real *kitten* huh.?....whats the reason you are?"🔥

    I know I'm not being fair when I do that but after us both being judged without sympathy....i guess it toughens your skin....🤷

    Your friend is gonna have his hands full if he always sticks up for his kids bad behavior ....i hope for them all he nips that in the bud! Hugs!!!🤗

    My children get 1 warning in public. Then we're out.

    Lol my dad was the same way...4 of us too....i think youre awesome!😎🤘
  • George_of_the_Jungle
    George_of_the_Jungle Posts: 3,316 Member
    bojack5 wrote: »
    I used to sorta judge people whose kids acted completely out of control and made the assumption that there just wasn't any discipline. I have learned that kids don't all react to the same methods. Sometimes the parent is at fault for unruly kids, but it isn't fair for me to ever assume that.

    I deplore parents of screaming children in restaurants. Guilty of being judgmental on that one.

    One of the most cringeworthy things i can remember was being at a diner with a buddy and his wife and his ridiculously unbehaved kids. The kids were yelling and screaming and throwing things and my buddy and his wife in my opinion were doing little to get it under control. The other people in the place were getting upset, some moved to other tables and some started to complain. My friend was getting angry with the people not his kids! I am not one to tell anyone how to raise their children but i was miserable sitting there while my friend argued with people over kids being kids. It was horrible and to this day he still has a problem with me "not having his back" in that situation.

    Omg...i really feel for you there....any other situation I would say you really don't know what is going on ..the child may have issues or whatever it may be ...but since you know your friend and you are seeing what was happening directly.... yikes 🙄🤐yeah they make it bad for the rest of us who have children that are not always able to settle down on their own due to special needs Etc.

    Believe me I have had my very "typically looking" child called fresh...asked why I spoil him...been given dirty looks etc....its very very hard on my heart to hear that even though I know it's not always others faults for being "judgy"....but I used to say oh I'm so sorry...and try to explain his sitch...only to get more looks and to go home and cry and just be really hurt by it....now....now I stare them back in the eyes which will almost always make them look away and say something like.."autism is a real *kitten* huh.?....whats the reason you are?"🔥

    I know I'm not being fair when I do that but after us both being judged without sympathy....i guess it toughens your skin....🤷

    Your friend is gonna have his hands full if he always sticks up for his kids bad behavior ....i hope for them all he nips that in the bud! Hugs!!!🤗

    My children get 1 warning in public. Then we're out.

    Lol my dad was the same way...4 of us too....i think youre awesome!😎🤘

    I have 4 as well. So really, that's 4 warnings, but no repeat offenders. If one is egregious enough, that'll do it. Also matters if we're at McD's or a steakhouse.
  • 777Gemma888
    777Gemma888 Posts: 9,578 Member
    edited November 2019
    bojack5 wrote: »
    I used to sorta judge people whose kids acted completely out of control and made the assumption that there just wasn't any discipline. I have learned that kids don't all react to the same methods. Sometimes the parent is at fault for unruly kids, but it isn't fair for me to ever assume that.

    I deplore parents of screaming children in restaurants. Guilty of being judgmental on that one.

    One of the most cringeworthy things i can remember was being at a diner with a buddy and his wife and his ridiculously unbehaved kids. The kids were yelling and screaming and throwing things and my buddy and his wife in my opinion were doing little to get it under control. The other people in the place were getting upset, some moved to other tables and some started to complain. My friend was getting angry with the people not his kids! I am not one to tell anyone how to raise their children but i was miserable sitting there while my friend argued with people over kids being kids. It was horrible and to this day he still has a problem with me "not having his back" in that situation.

    Omg...i really feel for you there....any other situation I would say you really don't know what is going on ..the child may have issues or whatever it may be ...but since you know your friend and you are seeing what was happening directly.... yikes 🙄🤐yeah they make it bad for the rest of us who have children that are not always able to settle down on their own due to special needs Etc.

    Believe me I have had my very "typically looking" child called fresh...asked why I spoil him...been given dirty looks etc....its very very hard on my heart to hear that even though I know it's not always others faults for being "judgy"....but I used to say oh I'm so sorry...and try to explain his sitch...only to get more looks and to go home and cry and just be really hurt by it....now....now I stare them back in the eyes which will almost always make them look away and say something like.."autism is a real *kitten* huh.?....whats the reason you are?"🔥

    I know I'm not being fair when I do that but after us both being judged without sympathy....i guess it toughens your skin....🤷

    Your friend is gonna have his hands full if he always sticks up for his kids bad behavior ....i hope for them all he nips that in the bud! Hugs!!!🤗

    My children get 1 warning in public. Then we're out.

    You're like friends of ours. They get one warning.

    Thereafter, they are sin binned in a location directly opposite from where they were meant to go ... Knotts Berry Farm, Disneyland, bowling, movies, a restaurant etc. They are told, "Sit and observe all the children who know how to behave in public like grateful children. Then it's home to a quiet evening usually.

    Eta: I was shocked the first time I heard their dad say, "Platoon!! " They automatically knew they'd misbehaved. They stand in formation, do that marching on the spot thing, march around the car, before marching towards a public bench to watch other people, including those of us who are their parents friends enter and exit.
  • George_of_the_Jungle
    George_of_the_Jungle Posts: 3,316 Member
    bojack5 wrote: »
    I used to sorta judge people whose kids acted completely out of control and made the assumption that there just wasn't any discipline. I have learned that kids don't all react to the same methods. Sometimes the parent is at fault for unruly kids, but it isn't fair for me to ever assume that.

    I deplore parents of screaming children in restaurants. Guilty of being judgmental on that one.

    One of the most cringeworthy things i can remember was being at a diner with a buddy and his wife and his ridiculously unbehaved kids. The kids were yelling and screaming and throwing things and my buddy and his wife in my opinion were doing little to get it under control. The other people in the place were getting upset, some moved to other tables and some started to complain. My friend was getting angry with the people not his kids! I am not one to tell anyone how to raise their children but i was miserable sitting there while my friend argued with people over kids being kids. It was horrible and to this day he still has a problem with me "not having his back" in that situation.

    Omg...i really feel for you there....any other situation I would say you really don't know what is going on ..the child may have issues or whatever it may be ...but since you know your friend and you are seeing what was happening directly.... yikes 🙄🤐yeah they make it bad for the rest of us who have children that are not always able to settle down on their own due to special needs Etc.

    Believe me I have had my very "typically looking" child called fresh...asked why I spoil him...been given dirty looks etc....its very very hard on my heart to hear that even though I know it's not always others faults for being "judgy"....but I used to say oh I'm so sorry...and try to explain his sitch...only to get more looks and to go home and cry and just be really hurt by it....now....now I stare them back in the eyes which will almost always make them look away and say something like.."autism is a real *kitten* huh.?....whats the reason you are?"🔥

    I know I'm not being fair when I do that but after us both being judged without sympathy....i guess it toughens your skin....🤷

    Your friend is gonna have his hands full if he always sticks up for his kids bad behavior ....i hope for them all he nips that in the bud! Hugs!!!🤗

    My children get 1 warning in public. Then we're out.

    You're like friends of ours. They get one warning.

    Thereafter, they are sin binned in a location directly opposite from where they were meant to go ... Knotts Berry Farm, Disneyland, bowling, movies, a restaurant etc. They are told, "Sit and observe all the children who know how to behave in public like grateful children. Then it's home to a quiet evening usually.

    Well sadly theres hardly any better examples around these days. Most parents do just let their children run wild. I don't make them sit and watch anything, we just go to the car and leave.
  • George_of_the_Jungle
    George_of_the_Jungle Posts: 3,316 Member
    bojack5 wrote: »
    I used to sorta judge people whose kids acted completely out of control and made the assumption that there just wasn't any discipline. I have learned that kids don't all react to the same methods. Sometimes the parent is at fault for unruly kids, but it isn't fair for me to ever assume that.

    I deplore parents of screaming children in restaurants. Guilty of being judgmental on that one.

    One of the most cringeworthy things i can remember was being at a diner with a buddy and his wife and his ridiculously unbehaved kids. The kids were yelling and screaming and throwing things and my buddy and his wife in my opinion were doing little to get it under control. The other people in the place were getting upset, some moved to other tables and some started to complain. My friend was getting angry with the people not his kids! I am not one to tell anyone how to raise their children but i was miserable sitting there while my friend argued with people over kids being kids. It was horrible and to this day he still has a problem with me "not having his back" in that situation.

    Omg...i really feel for you there....any other situation I would say you really don't know what is going on ..the child may have issues or whatever it may be ...but since you know your friend and you are seeing what was happening directly.... yikes 🙄🤐yeah they make it bad for the rest of us who have children that are not always able to settle down on their own due to special needs Etc.

    Believe me I have had my very "typically looking" child called fresh...asked why I spoil him...been given dirty looks etc....its very very hard on my heart to hear that even though I know it's not always others faults for being "judgy"....but I used to say oh I'm so sorry...and try to explain his sitch...only to get more looks and to go home and cry and just be really hurt by it....now....now I stare them back in the eyes which will almost always make them look away and say something like.."autism is a real *kitten* huh.?....whats the reason you are?"🔥

    I know I'm not being fair when I do that but after us both being judged without sympathy....i guess it toughens your skin....🤷

    Your friend is gonna have his hands full if he always sticks up for his kids bad behavior ....i hope for them all he nips that in the bud! Hugs!!!🤗

    My children get 1 warning in public. Then we're out.

    You're like friends of ours. They get one warning.

    Thereafter, they are sin binned in a location directly opposite from where they were meant to go ... Knotts Berry Farm, Disneyland, bowling, movies, a restaurant etc. They are told, "Sit and observe all the children who know how to behave in public like grateful children. Then it's home to a quiet evening usually.

    Eta: I was shocked the first time I heard their dad say, "Platoon!! " They automatically knew they'd misbehaved. They stand in formation, do that marching on the spot thing, march around the car, before marching towards a public bench to watch other people, including those of us who are their parents friends enter and exit.


    That is just ridiculous. Period. Yeah I just passed judgement. Humiliation tactics get you no where, and just add to the perpetual cycle of bad parenting. Each of these instances are teaching moments. If they're embarrassed about it, your're not going to be able to hit home with the positive message that comes out of it. You may still change the behavior, but it's by developing insecurities and not by teaching.
  • 777Gemma888
    777Gemma888 Posts: 9,578 Member
    bojack5 wrote: »
    I used to sorta judge people whose kids acted completely out of control and made the assumption that there just wasn't any discipline. I have learned that kids don't all react to the same methods. Sometimes the parent is at fault for unruly kids, but it isn't fair for me to ever assume that.

    I deplore parents of screaming children in restaurants. Guilty of being judgmental on that one.

    One of the most cringeworthy things i can remember was being at a diner with a buddy and his wife and his ridiculously unbehaved kids. The kids were yelling and screaming and throwing things and my buddy and his wife in my opinion were doing little to get it under control. The other people in the place were getting upset, some moved to other tables and some started to complain. My friend was getting angry with the people not his kids! I am not one to tell anyone how to raise their children but i was miserable sitting there while my friend argued with people over kids being kids. It was horrible and to this day he still has a problem with me "not having his back" in that situation.

    Omg...i really feel for you there....any other situation I would say you really don't know what is going on ..the child may have issues or whatever it may be ...but since you know your friend and you are seeing what was happening directly.... yikes 🙄🤐yeah they make it bad for the rest of us who have children that are not always able to settle down on their own due to special needs Etc.

    Believe me I have had my very "typically looking" child called fresh...asked why I spoil him...been given dirty looks etc....its very very hard on my heart to hear that even though I know it's not always others faults for being "judgy"....but I used to say oh I'm so sorry...and try to explain his sitch...only to get more looks and to go home and cry and just be really hurt by it....now....now I stare them back in the eyes which will almost always make them look away and say something like.."autism is a real *kitten* huh.?....whats the reason you are?"🔥

    I know I'm not being fair when I do that but after us both being judged without sympathy....i guess it toughens your skin....🤷

    Your friend is gonna have his hands full if he always sticks up for his kids bad behavior ....i hope for them all he nips that in the bud! Hugs!!!🤗

    My children get 1 warning in public. Then we're out.

    You're like friends of ours. They get one warning.

    Thereafter, they are sin binned in a location directly opposite from where they were meant to go ... Knotts Berry Farm, Disneyland, bowling, movies, a restaurant etc. They are told, "Sit and observe all the children who know how to behave in public like grateful children. Then it's home to a quiet evening usually.

    Eta: I was shocked the first time I heard their dad say, "Platoon!! " They automatically knew they'd misbehaved. They stand in formation, do that marching on the spot thing, march around the car, before marching towards a public bench to watch other people, including those of us who are their parents friends enter and exit.


    That is just ridiculous. Period. Yeah I just passed judgement. Humiliation tactics get you no where, and just add to the perpetual cycle of bad parenting. Each of these instances are teaching moments. If they're embarrassed about it, your're not going to be able to hit home with the positive message that comes out of it. You may still change the behavior, but it's by developing insecurities and not by teaching.

    I remember feeling humiliated for the children too. Now, I avoid going on outings with them. I don't know if I am being judgemental about their methods, I am merely against having my day revolve around parents who go to such extremes in public.
  • George_of_the_Jungle
    George_of_the_Jungle Posts: 3,316 Member
    bojack5 wrote: »
    I used to sorta judge people whose kids acted completely out of control and made the assumption that there just wasn't any discipline. I have learned that kids don't all react to the same methods. Sometimes the parent is at fault for unruly kids, but it isn't fair for me to ever assume that.

    I deplore parents of screaming children in restaurants. Guilty of being judgmental on that one.

    One of the most cringeworthy things i can remember was being at a diner with a buddy and his wife and his ridiculously unbehaved kids. The kids were yelling and screaming and throwing things and my buddy and his wife in my opinion were doing little to get it under control. The other people in the place were getting upset, some moved to other tables and some started to complain. My friend was getting angry with the people not his kids! I am not one to tell anyone how to raise their children but i was miserable sitting there while my friend argued with people over kids being kids. It was horrible and to this day he still has a problem with me "not having his back" in that situation.

    Omg...i really feel for you there....any other situation I would say you really don't know what is going on ..the child may have issues or whatever it may be ...but since you know your friend and you are seeing what was happening directly.... yikes 🙄🤐yeah they make it bad for the rest of us who have children that are not always able to settle down on their own due to special needs Etc.

    Believe me I have had my very "typically looking" child called fresh...asked why I spoil him...been given dirty looks etc....its very very hard on my heart to hear that even though I know it's not always others faults for being "judgy"....but I used to say oh I'm so sorry...and try to explain his sitch...only to get more looks and to go home and cry and just be really hurt by it....now....now I stare them back in the eyes which will almost always make them look away and say something like.."autism is a real *kitten* huh.?....whats the reason you are?"🔥

    I know I'm not being fair when I do that but after us both being judged without sympathy....i guess it toughens your skin....🤷

    Your friend is gonna have his hands full if he always sticks up for his kids bad behavior ....i hope for them all he nips that in the bud! Hugs!!!🤗

    My children get 1 warning in public. Then we're out.

    You're like friends of ours. They get one warning.

    Thereafter, they are sin binned in a location directly opposite from where they were meant to go ... Knotts Berry Farm, Disneyland, bowling, movies, a restaurant etc. They are told, "Sit and observe all the children who know how to behave in public like grateful children. Then it's home to a quiet evening usually.

    Eta: I was shocked the first time I heard their dad say, "Platoon!! " They automatically knew they'd misbehaved. They stand in formation, do that marching on the spot thing, march around the car, before marching towards a public bench to watch other people, including those of us who are their parents friends enter and exit.


    That is just ridiculous. Period. Yeah I just passed judgement. Humiliation tactics get you no where, and just add to the perpetual cycle of bad parenting. Each of these instances are teaching moments. If they're embarrassed about it, your're not going to be able to hit home with the positive message that comes out of it. You may still change the behavior, but it's by developing insecurities and not by teaching.

    I remember feeling humiliated for the children too. Now, I avoid going on outings with them. I don't know if I am being judgemental about their methods, I am merely against having my day revolve around parents who go to such extremes in public.

    I would take issue with another parent if I saw this. It is their right I suppose, and really none of my business. I want them to be good because they KNOW how to do so, and what it can bring them, not because they're AFRAID of being humiliated in public.

    On any occasion where I've ever left a public space due to their behavior, I just simply say it's time to go. If they don't comply and fall down and start screaming, they're carried out. By the time we've made it home or to the next place though, they are able to tell me exactly why that just happened, and what it is they need to do to make sure it doesn't happen again.