Online dating
Replies
-
michaelroode1980 wrote: »lauragreenbaum wrote: »michaelroode1980 wrote: »Can I ask what you think of my profile if there is anything wrong with it?
Hi- nothing wrong with it, but I do have a few suggestions. I would take out the picture of you holding the suitcases and replace it with a more professional or dressed up photo. You say you're in banking but all your pics are very casual. I think pics of your kids is fine- they are very important to you and a prospective date should know that. Don't worry about the height- I'm 5'3" and there are a lot of short women out there. Stop smoking- honestly that is a HUGE turn off to a lot of people. Or, just leave it out of your profile and on a date ask if smoking bothers them- if so be honest and tell her then you smoke socially but promise never to smoke in front of her. When I was on dating sites I would immediately eliminate anyone who smokes. One final thing- I would take out "must have family values"- that sounds a little judgey and rigid. You already note that you are Christian and have kids, so it's kind of a given.
Now I have to take a photo at work Thank you for the feedback really appreciate the feed back
Happy to help. If you want to post the professional photos, happy to give feedback on those, too!0 -
Not that anyone asked, but I'm kind of done with dating. I feel like I've been with a guy since I was 15 years old. Dated many guys my whole life- I don't think I ever went more than 6 months without a steady BF. Waiting til I was 39 to get married- husband cheated on me 1 year into the marriage. Stayed with him, got counseling, tried to forgive, bla, bla, bla. 10 years later found he had been cheating on me again. Done and done. Got divorced 4 years ago, am now 56 and have no interest in dating at all. I have tons of friends, travel a lot for work and pleasure, have the best dog in the world....and I'm happy. Yeah...sometimes I get a bit lonely, but for me it's an ok trade off for not having to deal with all the relationship stuff I hear my friends talk about. Of course now having said all that I'll probably meet the love of my life at Trader Joes. LOL.6
-
I can't speak for your rural area, but I go to board game events, and meetup events to socialize. As for figuring out how to actually socialize...its a skill not everyone learns growing up. Good news is, you can learn it when you an adult. Though it does tend to be much harder.1
-
-
Howdi lol1
-
Do you think that if men approached women more in public and asked them out the woman would be caught off guard? Or still might expect it? The dating world is difficult. I'm not having much luck with online dating.
I'm a guy so here's my opinion. First of all, I've given up on checking for wedding rings. Too many single women are wearing rings on that finger for it to be a useful method of determining who is single.
I don't think that it's a good idea for a man to walk up to a woman and immediately ask her out for coffee. But after 5 minutes of talking, I don't think that is wrong to do. Some women won't like it even after 30 minutes of talking.1 -
Do you think that if men approached women more in public and asked them out the woman would be caught off guard? Or still might expect it? The dating world is difficult. I'm not having much luck with online dating.
I'm a guy so here's my opinion. First of all, I've given up on checking for wedding rings. Too many single women are wearing rings on that finger for it to be a useful method of determining who is single.
I don't think that it's a good idea for a man to walk up to a woman and immediately ask her out for coffee. But after 5 minutes of talking, I don't think that is wrong to do. Some women won't like it even after 30 minutes of talking.
I agree with this. I think it's a bit much for a guy to come bounding across the produce section at some hottie and immediately ask for her number while wiping the drool from his chin. But if you strike up a casual conversation and she seems friendly and receptive, an invitation for further interaction probably wouldn't go amiss.2 -
bmeadows380 wrote: »
While I want to say that there is always hope, because it's true..... I also want to be realistic.
If you are in a small rural town where most people your age are gone and it's just retirees that have stayed, then it sounds like dating prospects are very slim to none.... unless you are interested in retirees.
What about towns nearby? Any that are close? Within 15-30 minutes? I understand not wanting to leave home, but maybe you will meet someone in a different town who would be willing to move?
I live in a rural state but my job does take me all over. While the community I live is has a population under 1,000 and most of those being retirees, I do work in the county seat 25 miles away, though that town's population may be 4,000 at best. My job also takes me periodically to the northern, more populated areas of the state as well, but opportunities for socializing are limited when I do head north. I have a job in a field that is predominately male, but that is most likely working against me - I figure I end up being categorized as "one of the guys". And there's the fact that the majority of the men I am in contact with are already in a relationship and thus unavailable.
However, as much as I try to maintain hope, I too want to be realistic. I lived in the suburbs of Pittsburgh for 3 years and within the region for another 8. I then moved back to my home state and lived in the northern area with its younger population for another 2 years before taking the position that brought me home to where I currently am living. In all that time, I never seemed to figure out where one went for socializing (other than a bar, and since I don't drink and don't care to be around alcohol, I never went to bars except to grab a bite to eat) or even how one actually went about socializing. The church I attend and serve in has a stark lack of people my age, but that's true of most of the churches in my area, and I choose a church based upon factors that are more important to me than demographics. Though with my values and worldview, church would be the best place to come across someone likely to be compatible with me. I've also went on trips to conferences and such where people with similar interests gathered and I did mingle and socialize at such events.
I do get out and do things; I don't always just sit at home. I shop, I visit parks, go to movies and other events in the area that pique my interest, go to local fairs and festivals. I like to think that I'm friendly and open when in public, but more than likely, I just come across as weird and childish or annoying (pretty much like I do in writing....) I'm probably unconsciously projecting something that turns people off; I just haven't figure out yet just what that is to even begin to know how to change it.
So online dating probably would be about my only chance, but that hasn't seemed very hopeful in the few instances where I toed the water, so to speak.Cutemesoon wrote: »
People in the 30's ask people to be their bf or gf still? Didn't happen in my 30s. We just usually confirm exclusivity, and you kind of grow into the relationship from there
Apparently so.
My best friend also just got into a new relationship and she confirmed the guy formally asked her the same thing. They are also both 37.
I admit that at 39, I would find it a little odd to refer to someone as my boyfriend, but then again, what else would you call them? Lover is rather blunt for polite society and implies way more than the relationship may have actually progressed to; friend implies the direct opposite. Beau seems a little out of touch these days. "This guy/gal I'm seeing" is needlessly wordy. Any ideas?
I agree that the term seems more applicable to younger people. Not sure what a better option is.
I call him boo 😋
Partner, or dont have to call them anything, refer to them by name.
This is so and so, instead of this is my gf/bf so and so.
But that doesn’t define who they are to you. For all anyone knows, you’re introducing a family member or friend.
0 -
partner does seem ambiguous.
I looked up "boyfriend" on Thesaurus.com and got some interesting synonyms. Partner is there, along with beau, suitor, sweetheart, admirer, flame, steady, date, and the retro "swain" lol Though I found "follower" to be a rather odd choice; I'd probably equate that more to stalker than boyfriend5 -
bmeadows380 wrote: »
partner does seem ambiguous.
I looked up "boyfriend" on Thesaurus.com and got some interesting synonyms. Partner is there, along with beau, suitor, sweetheart, admirer, flame, steady, date, and the retro "swain" lol Though I found "follower" to be a rather odd choice; I'd probably equate that more to stalker than boyfriend
Lol @ follower
0 -
I tend to keep "partner" for women I have shacked up with. Girl/boyfriend for dating (even though I am 55). There is a huge difference between living with someone and seeing them even 6 days a week.2
-
bmeadows380 wrote: »
partner does seem ambiguous.
I looked up "boyfriend" on Thesaurus.com and got some interesting synonyms. Partner is there, along with beau, suitor, sweetheart, admirer, flame, steady, date, and the retro "swain" lol Though I found "follower" to be a rather odd choice; I'd probably equate that more to stalker than boyfriend
Many active members on MFP simply write or say 'significant other' or abbreviate it as SO.3 -
777Gemma888 wrote: »bmeadows380 wrote: »
partner does seem ambiguous.
I looked up "boyfriend" on Thesaurus.com and got some interesting synonyms. Partner is there, along with beau, suitor, sweetheart, admirer, flame, steady, date, and the retro "swain" lol Though I found "follower" to be a rather odd choice; I'd probably equate that more to stalker than boyfriend
Many active members on MFP simply write or say 'significant other' or abbreviate it as SO.
I refer to him as SO on here but it doesn't trip off the tongue very well during a verbal introduction.
I've often used "better half" introducing him to someone who already knows I have a partner/boyfriend/significant other. More formal introductions he's my partner.1 -
just_Tomek wrote: »Because of this thread I just signed on on tinder.
here's the trend:
1. Girl replies hi
2. Girl feels a (likely) instant sense of fear and distrust
3. Girl decides it is best not to communicate any further and the approach is ghosting
I'm thinking that if you're under 35 whereabouts - girls see Tinder as some kind of game, and guys take the thing for serious
Absolutely untrue.
Do I have to screenshot it for you?
You saying men are serious is directly opposite of my experience though. More women than men tend to want to actually date or find a relationship. More guys tend to look for casual flings. This is generally true. Doesn’t mean there aren’t exceptions.
Long term does not suggest crazy. The fact that you think so makes me think you’re the crazy one.
Saying one wants something long term doesn’t mean they expect it instantly. You’re doing an awful lot of assuming. Anything before a relationship is just dating.
This ^^^^
I would absolutely put long term relationship as my reason for being on the site, if that’s what I wanted.
You’d be amazed how that would be a deterrent for guys who aren’t there for the same reason. Weeds out the losers. 🥰
Or fly a thousand miles to meet 😏 ... At least that was my experience. Met on Tinder, dated briefly, and that evolved into a very strong friendship.
Btw - as a female doing online dating, I get inundated. 100s of likes, matches, etc in short periods of time. Which sounds awesome, but I can have no picture up and still have men trying to hit me up.... Standards. 🙄 So, obviously, most of these are not the quality men I am interested in. And after wading through unsolicited dick pics and booty calls I get tired of talking to people. Who knew.
On the flipside, The males I know typically have a handful of matches and responses at best. Total polar opposite in terms of experiences.
3 -
777Gemma888 wrote: »bmeadows380 wrote: »
partner does seem ambiguous.
I looked up "boyfriend" on Thesaurus.com and got some interesting synonyms. Partner is there, along with beau, suitor, sweetheart, admirer, flame, steady, date, and the retro "swain" lol Though I found "follower" to be a rather odd choice; I'd probably equate that more to stalker than boyfriend
Many active members on MFP simply write or say 'significant other' or abbreviate it as SO.
I refer to him as SO on here but it doesn't trip off the tongue very well during a verbal introduction.
I've often used "better half" introducing him to someone who already knows I have a partner/boyfriend/significant other. More formal introductions he's my partner.
It does seem unnatural to say, I agree. I've always deemed it impolite to pry as to the nature of one's relationship with their plus ones, given that some don't even attend with their wives or resident plus ones necessarily. I have heard 'friend' more than SO or any other term of reference to be honest.1 -
I tend to keep "partner" for women I have shacked up with. Girl/boyfriend for dating (even though I am 55). There is a huge difference between living with someone and seeing them even 6 days a week.
just curious: is that term even still used these days, and do the younger generations even know what it means? lol I hear it where I live once in a while, but I'm middle aged and in a rural area that is about 20 years behind the times. Just wondering if it is still relevantmattig89ch wrote: »I can't speak for your rural area, but I go to board game events, and meetup events to socialize. As for figuring out how to actually socialize...its a skill not everyone learns growing up. Good news is, you can learn it when you an adult. Though it does tend to be much harder.
Board game events sound like a blast, and I wish they had something like that around here! (I wish they had social activities for adults other than a bar scene period....) I've got a cupboard full of them, but never really get to play. About the only thing you can talk my family into playing is yahtzee with mom or upwords once in a while. About once a year around Christmas I can pull them into a game of dominoes or rummy. My sister wants to play pop culture quiz type games, but she's also the sort that isn't so fun to play with when she's losing......
Socializing is probably a skill learned from your parents, and when I look back, I realize why I don't have much experience with it - my parents were very secluded. We never went to people's homes or to social events, and when we did go to church dinners and the family reunion each year, my parents for the most part sat off to the side. They were polite to those who spoke to them, but they rarely started a conversation themselves.
I was very much a wallflower when I was a teen - the sort who sat in the shadows on the sidelines and had my nose buried in a book. Then I went to college and left the area for about 15 years. I moved back to my hometown about 2 years ago. While I was away, I had opened up and learned to start conversations and talk to people. It really shocked the folks I had grown up around, and even my mother makes comments on it, though they are usually along the lines of "oh yeah, she's not the quiet mouse she was as a teen; now you can't shut her up!" *eye roll*I find that I can't do small talk no matter what. And when I try, it's just nodding or "oh yea"/"yea" words. I'm starting to think to the extreme that I may even have some degree of autism.
I've learned to small talk, but I'm not very good at ending a conversation. And I usually spend the next hour afterwards castigating myself because of how childish or weird I probably sounded when I analyze the conversation. I often wondered, too, if I was on the autism spectrum, but after going through the list of symptoms, while I can definitely recognize what used to be called Asperger's in my sister and to a degree in my father, I don't really see it in me. I especially see the difference when I take my sister out into public.
I'm just an introvert, I suppose. I like my alone time and I can be open one on one, but hate being the center of attention and prefer small groups; the larger the group, the quieter I get. And I only really open up to some people; there are some who will tell you I'll talk the ear off a sign post; there will be others who can't even imagine me being that talkative. It really depends on the vibe I pick up from the person in question; if they seem friendly and open, I'm more comfortable getting into a conversation, but if they seem closed off or intimidating or they seem to resonate a dislike, I tend to shy away.
I think I'm one of those extroverted introverts1 -
lauragreenbaum wrote: »Not that anyone asked, but I'm kind of done with dating. I feel like I've been with a guy since I was 15 years old. Dated many guys my whole life- I don't think I ever went more than 6 months without a steady BF. Waiting til I was 39 to get married- husband cheated on me 1 year into the marriage. Stayed with him, got counseling, tried to forgive, bla, bla, bla. 10 years later found he had been cheating on me again. Done and done. Got divorced 4 years ago, am now 56 and have no interest in dating at all. I have tons of friends, travel a lot for work and pleasure, have the best dog in the world....and I'm happy. Yeah...sometimes I get a bit lonely, but for me it's an ok trade off for not having to deal with all the relationship stuff I hear my friends talk about. Of course now having said all that I'll probably meet the love of my life at Trader Joes. LOL.
I was 56years old, had no intention of meeting anyone, dating, etc. I was thinking just like you, who wanted to deal with all the relationship stuff, then boom, she hit me like a ton of brick, playing a game of darts at a group outing. 3 years later life could not get better.10
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 391.3K Introduce Yourself
- 43.5K Getting Started
- 259.7K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.6K Food and Nutrition
- 47.3K Recipes
- 232.3K Fitness and Exercise
- 388 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.4K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 152.7K Motivation and Support
- 7.8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.4K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.2K MyFitnessPal Information
- 22 News and Announcements
- 907 Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.2K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions