We broke up because...
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She kept telling me hilarious jokes every time I tried to take a drink, and I thought she was trying to kill me.0
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She wanted me to learn the guitar so she can live out her groupie fantasies0
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M0
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My groupie fantasies. ☹0
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She got mad I liked a lot of tongue0
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Because we were from two different worlds0
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She said it was an accident but i caught her playing footsie with my cousin at the dinner table0
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His cousin was irresistible 😬0
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She was two hours late to our wedding
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He planned our wedding without proposing first 🤨0
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She hated beards. She even refused to perform CPR on a dying man for the same reason0
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happimess01 wrote: »She hated beards. She even refused to perform CPR on a dying man for the same reason
That's why I carry an emergency shaving kit on my person at all times.
He wouldn't take me to his special spot.0 -
He had too many special spots.0
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i ran too much0
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he was always running away from issues.
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Told me I wasnt half the man her salsa dance partner was0
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Was insecure about his wicked dance moves and would themselves to sleep1
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She kept dressing up wild animals0
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Too narcissistic...she would scream out her own name when we got naughty0
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He wouldn't admit that the world revolves around me.0
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