Sabotage

I will make plans like "don't eat after 8pm" and then I'll eat til midnight. It seems like if I try to plan out making good choices I'll go right behind myself and make bad ones. I'll tell myself I'm only drinking water today and I'll end up drinking Pepsi all day. It feels purposeful but all the while in my mind I'm like I shouldn't be doing this.. like I'm out of control or something. I'll also eat decently all day and know my calorie count and then binge at night like I'm trying to catch up and go over it or something. I feel like a crazy person. So I wanted to ask does anyone else deal with this? What do you do and how do you cope? Currently I'm just making sure to log EVERYTHING no matter how much or bad it looks to force myself into some accountability since I have a bad habit of not logging bad days. I'm also trying to be more present when I'm making bad choices in food.

Replies

  • AraxiaS
    AraxiaS Posts: 10 Member
    This is gonna souns wild but have you tried guided meditation/hypnosis? Theres a great vid on Amazon i like called rapid natural weight loss. If you dont have prime there are loads on YouTube for free! It can't hurt to try, right? 💗
  • RedDiamond37
    RedDiamond37 Posts: 23 Member
    AraxiaS wrote: »
    This is gonna souns wild but have you tried guided meditation/hypnosis? Theres a great vid on Amazon i like called rapid natural weight loss. If you dont have prime there are loads on YouTube for free! It can't hurt to try, right? 💗

    Definitely can't hurt to try I'll look into it. Thanks
  • ladyzherra
    ladyzherra Posts: 438 Member
    Bringing awareness to why you treat your body as you do (and as many of us here do, myself included) is an empowering step. Have you done any work about your eating habits and addictions? I like to read books on binge eating disorder and overeating disorder and food addiction. They give me a lot of insight into what is going on. Sometimes, though, just building your willpower in small ways can help. So, perhaps, instead of saying that you will not drink any soda today, you start smaller. Small wins build confidence. Maybe you set a microgoal of getting through lunch without a soda. Then! There! You've done it! The next day, set the same goal, or set a different one. Microgoals are the best!
  • nyponbell
    nyponbell Posts: 379 Member
    If the food you binge is food you have told yourself is off-limits, one way might be to tell yourself something along the lines of ”you can eat X, but not today”, and have a plan for when you do get to eat those foods (if you think you are able to do that, for some allowing a little bit is worse than trying to go cold turkey). Not to have a cheatday, but say you really want to eat potato chips - well, every weekend you can have X amount of chips, calculated in your plan for the day (and if you go a little bit over, that’s offset by the days you go under and since the calories allowed is less than maintenence that’s ok).

    I don’t know if that will help you, but it might be worth a try if part of your sabotaging is the fear of never being able to eat certain foods again once you ”start your health journey for real”. It can be emotionally difficult, the idea of giving something up forever (even if you logically know that’s not the case).

    Good luck! It’s difficult when the person messing things up is yourself, as I know far too well. ❤️
  • nyponbell
    nyponbell Posts: 379 Member
    ladyzherra wrote: »
    I like to read books on binge eating disorder and overeating disorder and food addiction.

    Do you have any booktips?
  • ladyzherra
    ladyzherra Posts: 438 Member
    @nyponbell Yes, I have some books that I really have found super helpful. One is When Food is Comfort by Julie Simon. I have read many books on overeating and food addiction, but this one is at the top of my list because it is REALLY useful. It provides actual steps that are achievable to accomplish day by day. It also provides understandable explanation about the mental and emotional component of this problem. I highly recommend this book.

    Another is the Food Addiction Recovery Workbook by Carolyn Coker Ross. This is a hands-on workbook that you can fill in; it also offers a lot of information about the disease/obsession. I like it a lot because it helps me to dig deeper into understanding my own unique relationship to sabotage and food.

    I liked Food: The Good Girl's Drug by Sunny Sea Gold, which reads more like an autobiography. What I liked about this book was that her story made seeing MY OWN story easier. She is a great writer, and really made me feel hopeful about reaching my goals.

    Finally, I really like Shades of Hope: How to Treat your Addiction to Food by Tennie McCarty. It includes stories from other addicts, and I just feel like I am supported in a community when I learn that I am not alone.

    Those are my "best of" books.

    I would warn, I read one book that I really did not like. I fact, this book seemed quite harmful for me. It is called Never Binge Again by Glenn Livingston. As I read this book, I felt quite terrible about myself and found that the strategy was actually harmful and self-destructive. I would warn most people against investing much in this text. It should be taken off the shelves, in my humble opinion.
  • nyponbell
    nyponbell Posts: 379 Member
    @ladyzherra thank you for your advice and book suggestions! Such a shame about the last book, thank you for warning others!
  • leelee_lani
    leelee_lani Posts: 25 Member
    nyponbell wrote: »
    ladyzherra wrote: »
    I like to read books on binge eating disorder and overeating disorder and food addiction.

    Do you have any booktips?

    I liked the book Intuitive Eating. It’s about mindful eating and allowing yourself foods so you don’t binge eat them.