Mental barrier to gaining weight

2

Replies

  • cupcakesandproteinshakes
    cupcakesandproteinshakes Posts: 1,091 Member
    alexmose wrote: »
    112.6 lbs today. What??? Thinking it’s time to drop 100cals. Back to 2100 and reassess.

    You gotta track your monthly average gain else you are gonna drive yourself mad. Just like when losing, there are fluctuations in a daily basis. Look at the average trend up and assess accordingly. I’m trending up .4lbs a week. I’m good with that though it is slightly higher than I want ideally. I’ll see what happens over next 2 weeks.
  • alexmose
    alexmose Posts: 792 Member
    You don’t think 2lbs in one week is a dreamer bulk? Just wondering if I’ll end the month 6lbs up. As a female that’s...not optimal.
  • Pipsqueak1965
    Pipsqueak1965 Posts: 397 Member
    Surely if you are depressed about the weight going up (ie trying to lose weight or maintain?) you are not really gong to see any improvement in your lifting? Particularly as you are not very big anyway? I know my lifting (which is probably similar to yours for bench) is not going to improve as I have a total phobia of gaining weight ...
  • alexmose
    alexmose Posts: 792 Member
    Surely if you are depressed about the weight going up (ie trying to lose weight or maintain?) you are not really gong to see any improvement in your lifting? Particularly as you are not very big anyway? I know my lifting (which is probably similar to yours for bench) is not going to improve as I have a total phobia of gaining weight ...

    This is something to consider. Thank you for bringing this up.
  • nexangelus
    nexangelus Posts: 2,081 Member
    As a few people have pointed out, you want to bulk...bulking is gaining weight, fat and muscle (if you are lifting and eating right). You are scared to put weight on. I do not think you should be bulking. And on top of that adding and then decreasing calories is not giving you time to adjust to the new calorie level.

    I recall when I was bulking (I was not a a low body fat level, it was for psychological reasons as I have suffered from bulimia and anorexia in the past and still get triggered to this day, although I do not spiral anymore, so I am fully into recovery) I had to go quite high on the cals to gain any weight. I was up to 3000 cals (I am way heavier than you), but I am pretty active and my body needed more cals for it to go up....I stuck to putting the cals up, never decreasing them again, in order to bulk you need to be adding cals and sticking to those cal goals for a sustained period.

    If you are not ready mentally to do this (I do not think you are), just sit at maintenance (stop messing with your cal intake when you see daily fluctuations, they are normal) and lift heavy...if you are a newb then you will see some body recomp. I am an advanced lifter and doing things slowly this time around I even saw some recomp happening even without the larger cal intakes...slow and steady wins the race. Maintain your weight and cal goals and keep increasing the weights on the bar...
  • alexmose
    alexmose Posts: 792 Member
    sijomial wrote: »
    alexmose wrote: »
    You don’t think 2lbs in one week is a dreamer bulk? Just wondering if I’ll end the month 6lbs up. As a female that’s...not optimal.

    I think one week is a crazy timescale to come to the conclusion that you need to change your calorie goal.
    Try doing some maths -
    6lbs of fat = 21,000 calorie surplus, divide by 31 days and that would be a daily surplus of 677 cals. Is that going to happen?

    Should I change my calorie goal the day after a Chinese meal because the bathrooms scales jump 4lbs?
    Did that one meal put me in a 14,000 calorie surplus or is it just a totally normal weight fluctuation that will sort itself out without intervention?

    Remember the title of this thread is "Mental barrier to gaining weight" - what you are doing is reinforcing that barrier. You won't change your results without changing your behaviours.
    In the language of the excellent book The Chimp Paradox what you are doing is a typical chimp (emotional) response and not a thoughtful/logical response.

    Thank you for this logic. Ok sticking with 2200 cals. I know I am my own enemy here. Thank you all for encouragement. Will check back in end of next week.
  • alexmose
    alexmose Posts: 792 Member
    OP I didn’t want to bulk for my first 3 years of resistance training. During that time I hovered around the same weight. And trained religiously. I made some progress with my vogue goal of getting more muscular. I made some progress on a few emotional issues around eating and food.

    There is nothing at all wrong with recomping if bulking is too mentally stressful for you at this time. Is recomping ‘optimal’ ? maybe not, depending on how you define optimal. But it taught me patience and allowed me to get into a good training routine and habits. If it takes me a little longer than it might have done otherwise then I’m ok with that because I think mental health gainzzzz are as important as looking ripped.

    This is a similar spot I was in. As mentioned in Oroginal post, I was much bigger a couple years ago. Now I’m told I’m too thin and I think being 112, still on the lower end of BMI. Want more muscles to help muscles pop and I know cut bulk is the way to do that. I recomped for those 2 years. All that said, I’m in the same spot you were.
  • sardelsa
    sardelsa Posts: 9,812 Member
    At the start of a bulk it is normal for the scale to jump up. For some it's 2lbs, others it's more. You have to remind yourself it is not fat gain especially if you just upped the calories by a small amount. It just doesn't happen that fast. If you don't deal with this now it is going to be a long road ahead.

    Take measurements, use the mirror, try not to put all your focus in the scale. Yes you will be uncomfortable but at this point if you want to make the changes you desire, then it is going to be uncomfortable.

    If you are not ready to deal with that, then take a break and hang out at maintenance (and realize the limitations of that) and try again in a few weeks or months.
  • cupcakesandproteinshakes
    cupcakesandproteinshakes Posts: 1,091 Member
    alexmose wrote: »
    OP I didn’t want to bulk for my first 3 years of resistance training. During that time I hovered around the same weight. And trained religiously. I made some progress with my vogue goal of getting more muscular. I made some progress on a few emotional issues around eating and food.

    There is nothing at all wrong with recomping if bulking is too mentally stressful for you at this time. Is recomping ‘optimal’ ? maybe not, depending on how you define optimal. But it taught me patience and allowed me to get into a good training routine and habits. If it takes me a little longer than it might have done otherwise then I’m ok with that because I think mental health gainzzzz are as important as looking ripped.

    This is a similar spot I was in. As mentioned in Oroginal post, I was much bigger a couple years ago. Now I’m told I’m too thin and I think being 112, still on the lower end of BMI. Want more muscles to help muscles pop and I know cut bulk is the way to do that. I recomped for those 2 years. All that said, I’m in the same spot you were.

    Those people who say you are “too thin” may not be right! They may be unused to seeing you at your lower weight. They may also be overweight themselves and do have a skewed view of leanness/fatness. People who are lean are not so common these days and so we look unusually ‘thin’. I also get similar comments from people I know. I tell them
    My bmi is 20 and so I’m a healthy weight. Then I change the subject....
  • steveko89
    steveko89 Posts: 2,216 Member
    alexmose wrote: »
    112.6 lbs today. What??? Thinking it’s time to drop 100cals. Back to 2100 and reassess. Seeing the scale jump 2lbs in one week..,that makes me think I am on a dreamer bull.

    Is that your trend or a point-to-point jump? It's nothing for me to a see a 2-lb bump day-to-day depending on sodium and carbs. I suggest not making adjustments on a single data point, if that's the case.
  • happysquatter
    happysquatter Posts: 91 Member
    If it helps as an illustration, my last seven days including this morning were:
    166.4 - 168 - 168 - 166.8 - 167.4 - 166.4 - 168.6

    Fair bit of fluctuation; although I am not bulking. But I will compare this to my numbers last week and the week before.

  • GaryRuns
    GaryRuns Posts: 508 Member
    I totally get it. According to my scale this morning I gained 3lbs in the last 24 hours! WTF?!

    I'm a logical person. I make my living being that way. I read scientific literature on any topic I'm interested in, including weight management, resistance training, endurance training, etc. I know all about fluctuations in weight due to water retention and food digestion. I know you can't gain 3lbs of fat in 24 hours, even after I had that glass of wine and banana above my calorie goal last night. :s

    And still, I saw the number on the scale this morning and many non-scientific, non-logical expletives came out of my mouth! It can be very hard not to let it get to you, but if you do let it get to you, as others have pointed out, it'll ruin your progress because the stress will wreak havoc on your body.

    So, hang in there and ignore the short-term fluctuations and focus on your end goal.
  • alexmose
    alexmose Posts: 792 Member
    edited March 2020
    113.4lbs today. Is this too fast? Just last week I was 109!!! This week has gone like this: 110.4, 111.0, 111.8, 112.6, 113.4. Is it me or is this way too fast?
  • sijomial
    sijomial Posts: 19,811 Member
    Have you eaten 10,500 cals over maintenance this week?
  • alexmose
    alexmose Posts: 792 Member
    sijomial wrote: »
    Have you eaten 10,500 cals over maintenance this week?

    I think my maintence is around 1800 so...2200-2300 cals/ day so...I guess not
  • sijomial
    sijomial Posts: 19,811 Member
    alexmose wrote: »
    sijomial wrote: »
    Have you eaten 10,500 cals over maintenance this week?

    I think my maintence is around 1800 so...2200-2300 cals/ day so...I guess not

    Guess or know?

    Do agree with some other posters that you need to have a serious think about if you are ready to deliberately bulk. This seems to be causing you a lot of stress, that's not a happy or healthy place to be.
  • alexmose
    alexmose Posts: 792 Member
    edited March 2020
    sijomial wrote: »
    alexmose wrote: »
    sijomial wrote: »
    Have you eaten 10,500 cals over maintenance this week?

    I think my maintence is around 1800 so...2200-2300 cals/ day so...I guess not

    Guess or know?

    Do agree with some other posters that you need to have a serious think about if you are ready to deliberately bulk. This seems to be causing you a lot of stress, that's not a happy or healthy place to be.

    Know. It’s something I will think about.