The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living
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kcn2bluesky wrote: »Hi, Everyone!
Count me in as another person grateful to be AF, especially during these crazy and unprecedented times we are living! As we were taking stock of food and supplies we have at the house, and figuring out what we need to get our family through for a few weeks, I found myself so grateful to have quit drinking in Jan 2018. If I hadn't, I would be super stressed trying to stock up on wine. I would be stressed about rationing it, too, in fear of running out. I have much better coping skills without the alcohol.
Oddly, as thankful as I am that I quit drinking, I have found myself thinking about drinking here & there, though. I logically know it won't solve any problems, but some part of my brain still kicks in every once in awhile and seems to think it might be a good idea to have a couple glasses of wine. I don't know if this is common or not, but this is what seems to happen with me when I am super stressed out.
Ok, thanks for being here friends! I hope you are all doing well, and staying healthy.
Karen
I kick that idea around every single day. For now, it still happens to be lent, & it's the only thing I give up besides meat on Friday. I haven't gone to church regularly since HS, but I participate in lent. I like to say I'm a Catholic in the way that Olive Garden is Italian food. So, I've been AF for 38 days now.. but yes, I'm constantly thinking about it in one way or another. I really wonder & ask those of you who have some serious AF time under your belt, & also drank to excess..
Do you ever get to a point where it is not in your brain somewhere? In the back, off to the side, full front? I'd like to know.2 -
stephanne13 wrote: »Do you ever get to a point where it is not in your brain somewhere? In the back, off to the side, full front? I’d like to know.
Congrats on 38 days, Stephanie! A month AF is a big accomplishment!.
I don’t think about alcohol every day. Sometimes I go for weeks and it doesn’t cross my mind.
But then if I’m super stressed, and generally over-tired, it pops back into my brain. I’m a little over 2 years AF, and I’m comfortable remaining that way the rest of my life. But there are days where I am challenged to stick to my conviction to remain AF.
In those moments, I think about what problem I believe alcohol will solve for me. It never wins because it doesn’t solve any problems.5 -
kcn2bluesky wrote: »stephanne13 wrote: »Do you ever get to a point where it is not in your brain somewhere? In the back, off to the side, full front? I’d like to know.
Congrats on 38 days, Stephanie! A month AF is a big accomplishment!.
I don’t think about alcohol every day. Sometimes I go for weeks and it doesn’t cross my mind.
But then if I’m super stressed, and generally over-tired, it pops back into my brain. I’m a little over 2 years AF, and I’m comfortable remaining that way the rest of my life. But there are days where I am challenged to stick to my conviction to remain AF.
In those moments, I think about what problem I believe alcohol will solve for me. It never wins because it doesn’t solve any problems.
A couple of months shy of 2 years AF for me & I wouldn't say there are days where it's a challenge to stick to my AF conviction, BUT I definitely have times where I "think" of the temporary relief when I am stressed, but only momentarily & it "seems" to come out of nowhere...but there is this brief memory of the longing (?) or the craving...it's hard for me to describe, but it's like anticipating something good and then realizing that it's NOT really that good...LOL It is like my alcohol brain is just hardwired to react to stress that way. I like to think that every time I refuse to give in to the momentary reminders from the alcohol-dependent part of my brain, I believe that I am helping to re-wire my brain against the false sense of relief and the cravings get fewer & farther apart.
@stephanie13 ~ 38 days is fantastic and the longer you're AF the easier it becomes...but there is an adjustment period of course. For me it was at least 6 months-1 year before I really began to settle into my AF life. The struggle is worth it though, and I believe that some of the really long-time AFers on this thread can attest to that. So I hope that your determination to remain AF wins over any desire that may arise to drink. You are doing great
Hope everyone is staying healthy and taking advantage of some downtime. The premier of our province declared a state of emergency so we are pretty much in shutdown mode other than necessary services AND the LCBO, so far, must be considered a necessary service cause it's pretty much bizzness as usual!! Oh well, at least they still can work and bring home $$.4 -
2-1/2 years AF. It has gone away a lot for me. Sometimes I go days, other times weeks without thinking about it. But I don't hang around in bars or cigar lounges like I used to either. My friends don't seem to care and even when they drink around me, my thoughts are mostly "I'm glad I don't drink anymore". Pluses, I'm down over 50 lbs, no impulse eating or drinking, time to exercise and eat right, no blackouts or wondering what I did the night before. Life is MUCH better without it.7
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@tuckerrj If there was a "thumbs up" emo on here, you would be getting one from me.
Hope everyone is happy & healthy!! I'm trying not to read too much more about COVID-19...it is dominating the media and I'm thinking adding more fear to an already panicked population. Wondering how things are for others here?
I have been in most of the week, with a few quick trips to the grocery store. I have a job tomorrow, so far!! YAY! I also have filled in most of my next week, but things could change overnight! A really nice thing happened to me today though. My sis-in-law showed up at my door (she was married to my brother who died last July) with her chequebook in hand wanting to cut me a cheque due to my lack of work this week. It would be a "gift from my bro" she said
It's comforting to know that if I do fall on hard times due to the uncertainty of steady work, I have a cushion, but assured her I was fine for now. My daughter who is salaried, also would come through for me. I am fiercely independent so asking for financial help would be a last resort. It's nice to know that others care
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@lorrainequiche59, so good to hear of your support system. My sister-in-law in Cleveland tested positive so that is my first acquaintance with COVID-19. Thankfully she is improving pretty rapidly. I’m hunkered down and have to confess I’ve resorted to alcohol several times during this stressful spring break. It increases anxiety and is not worth it. I just don’t seem to have the key yet. Many successes and many failures. I think God loves me anyway. Keep safe, everyone.8
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@lorrainequiche59, so good to hear of your support system. My sister-in-law in Cleveland tested positive so that is my first acquaintance with COVID-19. Thankfully she is improving pretty rapidly. I’m hunkered down and have to confess I’ve resorted to alcohol several times during this stressful spring break. It increases anxiety and is not worth it. I just don’t seem to have the key yet. Many successes and many failures. I think God loves me anyway. Keep safe, everyone.
That's sad about your SIL:( Yes the anxiety is real after drinking. Yes God love you anyway. This morning, I said to myself "You are doing the best you can. You are loved."
I think we are all doing the best we can. Hugs!5 -
Hello to ALL: Hoping everyone is healthy. How are you doing with being locked in for those who are locked in. As of tomorrow all non-essential businesses in Ontario are to shut down. So more restrictions in place and I've had more cancellations and likely will not be working much, if at all. Most people will be in the same boat with limited $$ coming in. There are various provisions to help those who will need it. Hoping all here are safe & sound. I was thinking there would be more coming on here.
Anyway, take care & be careful.
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Im furloughed...........and its ok, I kinda suspected things would get rough and prepared...actually, everyone's handling it well........miss the gym and interaction, but we are hanging in there.....and yeah, at one millisecond I had temptations, but they passed...........also, Im not a dr, but I would think that alcohol could lower your immunity ...the Dr on TV said to get plenty of rest and at my age, I have to make sure Im pro active and do everything I can do till this passes.........best wishes Lorraine, stay healthy ...............and wash your hands
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2-1/2 years AF. It has gone away a lot for me. Sometimes I go days, other times weeks without thinking about it. But I don't hang around in bars or cigar lounges like I used to either. My friends don't seem to care and even when they drink around me, my thoughts are mostly "I'm glad I don't drink anymore". Pluses, I'm down over 50 lbs, no impulse eating or drinking, time to exercise and eat right, no blackouts or wondering what I did the night before. Life is MUCH better without it.
Very inspiring. I like the way you don't think about alcohol much. I know that I had to change my habits and hangout places when I was completely sober, so I went to the gym instead of the bar. That was so helpful.3 -
Hi from Maryland. Our governor has taken this seriously and everything is pretty much buttoned up. I personally know 3 people with it, 2 sisters in their late 20's and early 30s and their dad. The one is a flight attendant so God knows who all else got it before she found out and stopped working. Stay safe, social distance and make good choices.4
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Hi to all hope everyone is finding things getting easier for those struggling. I just wanted to thank everyone here for the support. Tomorrow will be 1 yr since I quit beer all together. Cant really believe I did it but its done. I have nothing to compare stats wise other than 35 beer bubbly pounds gone. But Im sure Im in a better position and my liver thanks me. Gone are also the miserable hangovers. Dont miss it.
CONGRATULATIONS!!!4 -
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I'm still finding my relationship with alcohol. That relationship has both "drink less" periods practicing moderation and AF periods.
The best parts
Not wasting a weekend day on a hangover!
Not worrying about driving/DD/leaving a car/Uber
Saves money
Saves calories
More control
Better memory of fun times
The hardest parts:
Problem: so many social things involve booze.
Solution: if you don't talk about it, usually no one cares if it's booze or soda water. Any mention tends to make people defensive. It's less enjoyable once people start getting wasted, but the value goes down then too. Go anyway! (When you are able to control yourself)
Problem: Alcohol was my only real treat. I don't like soda, juice much, or many sweets/desserts. If I want something special to taste, it's alcohol.
Solutions:
1. enjoying the day is treat enough
2. Less/no alcohol has somewhat increased my sweet tooth. Splurging on a piece of pizza or dessert is still less calories than a drink or 6.
3. "Special" NA drinks. Soda water with fresh squeezed citrus (I squeeze a bunch and save in ice cube trays), virgin mojitos, Fre Brut with oj is indistinguishable from a real mimosa (5 person blind test), Ariel Cabernet (does NOT taste like normal wine but has deep dryish satisfying flavor, all of the antioxidants, and 150 calories a bottle 😮), Run Wild NA IPA (I wouldn't have known it was fake if you hadn't told me, but all 3 of us did pick it out in a blind test compared to a normal IPA. Far and away better than any na beer I've ever tried).
if more of these options were available out, I think I might be ready to pull the trigger on a 100% AF lifestyle.
Note on the wine/beer substitutes. My first break from alcohol in my adult life was 50+ days, and it was hard. About 30 days in, I tried the Ariel wine at a weekend getaway with friends. It wasn't enough for me to break my dry spell, but it seriously triggered cravings. My mind thought it was going to get the nice buzz from that taste, and it WANTED it. The last 2, month long breaks, I wasn't triggered at all by the substitutes. It was nice to have something nice to drink. Nice to look/feel part of the group. I highly suggest them only once you are no longer struggling with strong cravings.
I hope this helps some of you. I hope you don't mind me lurking even though I'm not completely on the wagon. I like reading your stories and your tips, and apply what makes sense. A lovely AF day to you 😘
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@lilawolf I really enjoyed your post!! I read it twice. Thanks for your thoughts 3
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@lilawolf Welcome to the group!! I stay away from any alcohol subs...if I can't have the real thing there is no substitute for moi. I think it would like jack any cravings and get me longing for the real deal. Can be helpful for others tho. Thanks for sharing. 5
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Good morning! My counselor told me about a book; I was wondering if any of you read it. "Quit like a Woman". https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/45434420-quit-like-a-woman0
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Hi Ruby, I have this book on hold at the library (although it could be a long while before it’s ready now...) I really like the author Holly Whittaker, she does the hip sobriety blog (now called Tempest, I believe). She is a strong, tells-it-like-it-is individual, I am looking forward to reading her book.1
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@RubRed427 Interesting article. Thank you for the link. The author refers to "the insidious role alcohol plays in our society, and in the lives of women in particular." When I think of the word insidious, sneaky (subtle) comes to mind, but I decided to look it up and it describes alcohol quite well. Insidious according to Dictionary.com means (1) "intended to entrap or beguile" (2) "stealthily treacherous or deceiptful" and/or (3) "operating or proceeding in an inconspicuous manner or seemingly harmless way, but actually with grave effect." BINGO!! Need I say more....N...O!!!3
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