Your Binge Strory

ladyzherra
ladyzherra Posts: 439 Member
What was your most recent binge like?

Come to this thread to share details that can help you reflect on your binge. When you binge, visit here to share what that binge was like for you.

What did you feel? Which thoughts went through your head? What do you think brought on the binge? How much did you eat, and of what? How did you feel afterwards?

By sharing, I feel like we can help each other and also help ourselves to better understand our binge eating and the connection to emotional eating.

Replies

  • ladyzherra
    ladyzherra Posts: 439 Member
    edited March 2020
    I'll start! I binged yesterday after my daughter came back from being on vacation with her dad. The day before, I gave a lot and we had a great day. But yesterday, the following day, I kept giving a lot and by mid-day I got into my familiar state of mind that is primed for a binge: numb and checked-out.

    I was aware of what I was doing when I reached for some lasagna in the fridge and then for a bag of chips. Midway through, I was conscious enough to tell my daughter that I needed a few personal care moments to myself. But by that point, voicing what I needed was too late. I couldn't stop the binge.

    Afterwards, I of course felt like I could easily feel disappointed and ashamed. I did deelt agt, but I worked with myself to move toward compassion and try to understand why I binged and remember how I felt when I binged. And then I tried to move on.
  • vampirequeen1959
    vampirequeen1959 Posts: 196 Member
    I've been very stressed out by a variety of things over the last few days so of course food became my comforter. I tried really hard to binge on 'healthier' things but it didn't work out the way I thought it would. All I'll say is eating half a kilo of grapes in a matter of minutes turned out not to be such a good idea the next day :s:)
  • ladyzherra
    ladyzherra Posts: 439 Member
    @vampirequeen1959 I totally get it. I had a period in which I also thought that if I binged on healthier foods that I could somehow escape the predicament of binge eating, including how I would feel afterwards. But I discovered that binge eating is a symptom of a larger problem, and even if I binge ate air, I'd still have the problem and everthing that comes along with that. So, we've got to tackle the problem. First step: identify it. Seems easy but in my experience, it gets complex quickly.

    Hugs!
  • vampirequeen1959
    vampirequeen1959 Posts: 196 Member
    Things have settled down and I'm back to my normal high anxiety state rather than the stratspheric one I was in a few days. Got back to eating properly yesterday and feel much better physically for it. It's amazing how eating too much of some foods can make you feel.
  • ElisaGrace2
    ElisaGrace2 Posts: 5 Member
    I am new here, not really sure what to do, and such. I dont want to admit it always, but I do hate food. I hate eating, I honestly never eat w/out obsessing over the calories. Looking to truly heal and know food CAN be my friend and not my enemy.
  • Dootzy1
    Dootzy1 Posts: 1,547 Member
    @ElisaGrace2 Hating food and hating eating sounds disordered, and not to be overly direct-- But maybe you need to talk to a professional counselor before this gets worse. Peace!
  • fostersu
    fostersu Posts: 327 Member
    Thank you! I had written this and was wondering where i could share it - i needed to hear from ppl in similar situations.

    I binged last night. Not badly - I told myself I could eat as much as I wanted as long as it was “on plan”. So instead of chips and snacks and cereal and ice cream I ate fruit and PB and SF jello and almonds. Instead of 1000s of extra calories it was more like 500....point is I still binge. I thought carbs were a trigger and they were...but I still binge. My compulsions did not go away. It happens less often but the need to fill fill fill is still there - which means i still have work to do . Oof. More triggers to find, realizing my addiction isn’t just to sugars but to the endorphins and excitement of filling my body and letting go.
  • Westieok
    Westieok Posts: 13 Member
    My bingeing started as a child when my mother and father told me I was fat because I didn’t have much of a waist just like my father. Mom would hide snack foods. When they weren’t around I would eat as many as I could. This had changed in adult hood yo eating after everyone else goes to bed. Carbs carbs carbs. I have rheumatoid arthritis which is aggravated by carbs but once I’m alone all care goes out the window. No junk in the house; just eat plain sugar. I just don’t know how to make myself stop.
  • Luckee_me
    Luckee_me Posts: 1,429 Member
    Hello,
    I’m new to the group and have always had a feast or famine mentality. I’ve been doing IF and CICO with great success, 80 pounds since 10/1/19 but yesterday was my oldest daughters birthday.
    So first it was Pink Box giant donuts I got three that I ate over the course of the day, (from noon on actually) then there was chicken fingers and fries for lunch, then my daughter wanted cheeseburger hamburger helper then birthday cake followed by the last giant donut. I hate when I do that but am thankful I got right back on track the next day instead of letting it roll over until after the weekend.
  • SuzieQ136
    SuzieQ136 Posts: 38 Member
    @Luckee_me Like you said though, you got right back on track. That’s a huge win in my book! I’ve been doing IF as well with good success. What kind of schedule do you follow?

    Best, Sue
  • SuzieQ136
    SuzieQ136 Posts: 38 Member
    @Westieok Thinking of you and hoping today was a better day. Be kind to yourself.
    Best,
    Sue
  • Luckee_me
    Luckee_me Posts: 1,429 Member
    SuzieQ136 wrote: »
    @Luckee_me Like you said though, you got right back on track. That’s a huge win in my book! I’ve been doing IF as well with good success. What kind of schedule do you follow?

    Best, Sue
    Thanks Sue!

    I try do 20:4 every day sometimes longer. Usually OMAD or 2MAD. I find it so helpful not to think about six small meals, I’d rather have two 600 calorie meals and it helps me to not snack at night.
  • SuzieQ136
    SuzieQ136 Posts: 38 Member
    @Luckee_me Congrats on a day well done!
  • Luckee_me
    Luckee_me Posts: 1,429 Member
    SuzieQ136 wrote: »
    @Luckee_me Congrats on a day well done!

    Thank you so much.
  • Malimalai
    Malimalai Posts: 274 Member
    I lost 26 lb last year but I'm bindging again on both healthy foods and junk foods due to my emotions. I gain back 5-6 lb in 8 months period.Now,I have to overcome my emotions by look at the bright side of my life. I try to get back on track by planing my meals each day and log it before I eat.This way I don't go over on my calories, hopefully anyway.It's one day at a time .Hope you have a good day. 🕊✌🏽🌹
  • ladyzherra
    ladyzherra Posts: 439 Member
    @fostersu There is an element of endorphin rush and pleasure that comes along with binge eating for me, too.

    One key function of a binge for me has been numbing out. Like, food is almost always used as an emotional equalizer to get and keep me in a certain emotional space in which I neither feel too much or too little.
  • SuzieQ136
    SuzieQ136 Posts: 38 Member
    @Malimalai I agree that meal planning is a good way to help you stay on track. Hope you have a great week. Don’t despair, it’s a new day with new possibilities.
  • Malimalai
    Malimalai Posts: 274 Member
    @SuzieQ136 , thank you.Yesterday, I was reminded by reading posts here that we hurt ourselves physically and emotionly by eating too much. So I stop eating foods that make me feel bad or guilty afterward.There are plenty of healthy foods I can enjoy instead. I plan my meals, weigh my foods and count my calories like I did last year.I feel happy because I'm good to myself again... Have a lovely day 🌞🌹🤗