We Broke Up Because....... part 2 .....
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Made me sleep in the wet spot. On the beach.0
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Brought sand into the clean sheets repeatedly. Shower, woman, shower!!0
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She lived at the beach.. literally.. in a tent.0
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She didn’t like that I didn’t have a tent.0
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She always was asking me to pitch her tent. But she didn't have a tent to pitch! Was very confusing.0
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She was always calling me daddy.0
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She moved to Poland0
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He would stare at me intently when angry. When I asked him what he was doing, he would respond that he was using his heat vision powers to melt my bone marrow. Ok Clark Kent, taking this Superman thing just a little too far.0
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I took a sledgehammer to his heart. 🤷♀️0
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Yeah, the whole biting and crapping on the carpet was a deal breaker0
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Wanted me to wear diapers. Wasn't my scene.0
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Too deep a thinker for this silly blonde.0
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Wait.... we broke up? Damn. Why am i always the last to know0
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Had too many admirers. Spent all day typing on instagram and facebook. My allotted time slots were from 2-3pm every other day, excluding weekends.0
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He spent hours looking at some other woman’s Instagram and Facebook. It was obsessive and creepy.0
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Didnt appreciate my fine creepin skills0
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He only left me the green Skittles.0
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Didnt believe me when I told her green tongues are sexy0
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I found a collection of moldy tongues in the back of his closet. I was okay with it until he told me I couldn’t touch or lick them.0
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PaperDoll_ wrote: »You knock someone over the head one time with a frying pan until they get amnesia, and not only do they act like they don’t know you, but the restraining order keeps you from being able to remind them of your loving relationship. 😒
awww...you do love me2
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