What was the moment? When did you decide to take back control?

My "moment" was when I started experiencing health problems similar to a friend of mine who is in their late 50's early 60's. I was 32 at the time blood pressure through the roof, back always hurting, tying my shoes was a challenge, I couldn't keep up with my 9yr old son and I was/am his only provider/caregiver. My doctor told me if I didn't do something I was looking to have a stroke or heart attack. August 2018 I started going to the gym and now all of my aches, pains, and health issues are gone. I found that I actually like lifting weights. Also mental health wise the gym helps keep me balanced. I was 345lb when I started my journey now I'm 200lbs.

Looked at myself in the mirror and I just hated myself so much, made me cry really. I hate the sight of my body. I stepped onto the scales and just shocked how bad my weight was getting, fed up with thinking about food daily, sick of the cravings for junk food. I love food but I also hate it. I eat because it makes me feel happy but then it's making me miserable too. I just want to feel comfortable in my own skin, I already suffer with anxiety and social anxiety. Cannot stand being looked at. I hate feeling out of breath from just going up the stairs too. Been battling with my weight for over 10 years now.

About a month ago I stepped on the scale. Got off and hopped back on hoping it was a mistake; as tears rolled down my face I realized that THAT number didn’t magically appear, truth was that I had actively participated in destroying my body, And Destroying my health by smoking, and eating like absolute *kitten*. I am less than 30 years old, and I feel like if I don’t do something RIGHT NOW I won’t make it to be 65. Although I don’t (to my knowledge) have diabetes or heart disease it runs in my family, as does cancer and other health problems. I cried that day because Neither one of my parents lived to be 65 and one of them died due to the round about complications of being obese. I couldn’t believe I had ignored my health so much that I got to this point, that I had cared so little about myself that I completely lost control, honestly- I was disgusted with myself. So I decided right then and there that I don’t want this for myself. So I made a change. I had to. I decided I would give 110% to bettering my body, my health, and my mental state. I spent hours soaking up as much information as I could on nutrition and finding out how to make this goal of mine attainable. That night I printed out a nutrition guide and went to the store before I could change my mind. I started meal prepping, I started weighing out my food, I follow my nutrition guide like it’s a bible and I log every calorie to MFP even if I mess up. I’m holding myself accountable for it. I decided to get a gym membership. I still have no idea what Im doing, but I’ve been there at-least 3x a week doing it. Even if I look ridiculous sweating buckets on the treadmill and fumbling with the machines, at-least I’m there, and at-least I’m doing something. I wake up in the morning and go over my goals, not that they’re huge or impressive, but they are important to me. I find them imperative in reminding myself why the hell i’m doing this. I have found people that have been where I am now, I found people that are willing to work out with me, and I found people that are willing to teach me things about nutrition. I’m doing my very best to soak up as much as I can. I can’t afford a professional nutritionist/trainer but I’m working with what I’ve got and MFP has been incredibly helpful. I want TO BE HEALTHY more than I want anything, because I feel like I am literally fighting for my life. I can’t explain it, but I know in my heart that If don’t make a change I will die, and I feel like I have hardly even lived.

At 435 pounds at 41 years old, even though I'm 6'3", I pretty much had those moments every waking moment of my life. Constant pain all over my body, clothes not fitting, not being able to keep up with two little kids, a SECOND blood pressure medication added, not being able to buy a small, manual transmission car becuase I LOVE driving, fearing death and not being there for my wife and kids, etc, etc, etc... You name it, I had those moments almost every second of every day.

Im now 45 pounds down. I know I have a long road and I'm not sure what's keeping me going. However, I know that recently, this quote I came across..“We must all suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons” has really resonated with me, and become something of a mantra that I keep saying to myself when I'm fighting cravings, old ways of thinking, or just the demons. It actually re-motivated me because the lay-off from work and the stress and sadness that came with the pandemic had me really down, and moving away from healthier habits.

Visually it was seeing myself on video walking around. It was so hard to realize that is what I look like all the time to other people. Internally the last straw was realizing that I'm on my way to being diabetic like the majority of my family has been my whole life.

Back in 08 I exercised away 40lbs. Back to 135 for my 5’7” frame that I had been my whole life. I felt good. Then I remarried a man that drank and food was was his love language. And steadily all my hard work I let slip away. Since that time, I’ve tried and retried to start myself up without success. Then I was on YouTube and heard a talk where the speaker asked “if you had a friend that you kept trying to hang out with, you’d ask them to join you and they always said yes, but when it came time to show up...they always bailed on you with excuses. Would you continue to ask them to hang out? No after awhile you’d stop. So stop bailing on yourself. When you make a promise to yourself, keep it. If you set the alarm, get up!”
It reached me. I realized that’s what I’d been doin for a very long time. So I told myself. 140 by Aug 31st! I was 171 when I started. I want to be 140. I am 166 currently. I have 3 months, I really want to see success this time.

I had a sore hip that had been playing up on and off for a few months. Finally I went to see my doctor. He wasn't there, so I saw a locum. He told me my sore hip was a direct result of my being overweight.
That day I went home and my husband had bought himself his 3rd carton of Jack Daniels for $90 that week. I thought to myself that if he can afford $90 for alcohol, I can pay the $130 for the 12 months noom membership.
From that day onwards (21st december) I have steadily lost weight.
I have lost almost 15kgs and have gone from a tight size 16 to a loose size 10.

As I said in a post by that name “ I went on a cruise and lost 73 pounds”. I had 2 big ah ha moments. First the lovely hostess at the restaurant on the ship had the temerity to imply we were the same size when she was clearly like 75 pounds overweight....

Oh yeah, I guess she’s right.

And then all the 300 pound people around...is that where I was heading?

I started cutting all my cruise ship meals in half and Walked around the ship like crazy and lost about a pound that week. Got home, found MFP and proceeded to lose 72 more pounds in the following 10 months . I just had my one year anniversary of maintaining the loss losing another 2 pounds over time and am down 75 in total.

I had lost a bunch of weight before having my youngest child, and since he was born, I've not been serious about diet and exercise. I realized I'm now 5 pounds heavier than I was at my previous highest weight, and looking at pictures from now and 60 pounds ago really showcases how much I've put on. I decided enough was enough, I can't go on like this or I'll get to 300, and I really don't want to do that to my body.