The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living
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This is an insight about myself I got from reading "Mrs. D. Is Going Without": Lately, in the (non-drinking) evenings, I've found myself weepy or even really crying for no discernible reason. I think that with all that is going on--pandemic, racial tensions, and the terrible divisions in this country--I was managing to plaster over my distress with alcohol. Now that the alcohol is removed, the feelings can't help but come out. Distressing as it is, I think it's much better that they do. But it gives me some insight about why I'm so attracted to this anesthetizing substance. 2020 sober is a challenge. But we know it's worth it.7
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The pink cloud syndrome is very common among those who are in early recovery from an alcohol or drug addiction. Many first-time Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) members will talk about their pink clouds. The good news is that the pink cloud syndrome helps many people continue to stay sober. If you are experiencing the pink cloud, you may feel very joyful. You may have a great deal of excitement and hope for your future. On the other hand, the pink cloud may make you dangerously overconfident. Such overconfidence may make you relapse.
Have you all heard of this? It's also in the book Ms. D goes without. Apparently it is a common term used during recovery.3 -
Tonight is my birthday dinner with drinking friends. I WILL not drink tonight. I promised myself that. I cannot slip back into my old ways. I cannot fool myself into thinking anything about alcohol will help me have a good time. I like the picture above- alcohol causes pain and anxiety and it's a cycle .... it Never cures anxiety or pain.6
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This is an insight about myself I got from reading "Mrs. D. Is Going Without": Lately, in the (non-drinking) evenings, I've found myself weepy or even really crying for no discernible reason. I think that with all that is going on--pandemic, racial tensions, and the terrible divisions in this country--I was managing to plaster over my distress with alcohol. Now that the alcohol is removed, the feelings can't help but come out. Distressing as it is, I think it's much better that they do. But it gives me some insight about why I'm so attracted to this anesthetizing substance. 2020 sober is a challenge. But we know it's worth it.
I've been like this too😔 so unlike me cuz I'm usually able to brush off those moods pretty easy,I told my hubs the other night to just be patient with me,I HATE the state of the world right now! I feel a bit like maybe I'm spoiled and don't have the balls to deal with everything that's going on,I know our elders have gone through so much in the past but I feel like in this day and age we're not as well equipped to handle stuff,at least I'm not,I'm too used to having everything readily available and being able to do whatever I wanna do at all times,that's why I said maybe I'm spoiled,rant over! Everyone sounds great 💗 6;54 am in Vegas another 247 -
@FeelinFooFoo Thanks for the Alan Carr illustrations. That really hits it on the head. I'm also feeling overwhelmed and stress by the state of our country and I am really feeling it without the band aid of booze to soothe me. I've basically had to just watch enough news to see the world is still turning and the weather report. I know that when I have slipped up before, the next day is NEVER worth the "fun" I thought I was having the night before. Stay strong, Everyone.
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@FeelinFooFoo I think slowly your brother will come to the realization that he cannot live this way. But it will take time. It took me about 10 years to really suffer, and then the last two years of trying to quit. He will probably be wiser than I was.
I just came back from the grocery store and bought FRE AF wine for myself and a bottle of red wine for my friends who are stopping here first before we go to dinner. I love what you said about it is a birthday gift to me not to drink and be hangover free tomorrow.
@JenT304 I understand how you are feeling. We will have to find other positive ways to cope with our dread.6 -
RubyRed427 wrote: »Tonight is my birthday dinner with drinking friends. I WILL not drink tonight. I promised myself that. I cannot slip back into my old ways. I cannot fool myself into thinking anything about alcohol will help me have a good time. I like the picture above- alcohol causes pain and anxiety and it's a cycle .... it Never cures anxiety or pain.
Good For you. Happy Birthday!2 -
I'm rewatching the series Glee on Netflix. Long ago I watched the first couple years but didn't finish. Now I am starting it again. Looking at handsome and young Cory Monteith (Finn) makes me sad. He died of a heroin and alcohol overdose after years of on again off again drug addiction. Drugs and alcohol lead to so much suffering, mostly for the addict, but also for the loved ones. I hope when they find Naya Riviera who played Santana (presumed drowned now) that there is no alcohol or drugs in her system.5
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OK, so I'm reading yet another book. This one is "We Are the Lucky Ones." Last night I read something I thought was very insightful. The author compares early sobriety to pregnancy. I recently said to my husband, "It's ridiculous. All I do all day is not drink!" The comparison addresses that. She talks about how when you're pregnant, especially in the beginning and maybe experiencing sickness, your life is justifiably all about pregnancy. It has to be. You're bringing a new life into the world, and your pregnancy has to take priority over everything--what you eat or drink, how much energy you expend, where you go, etc. She says early sobriety deserves that kind of attention. You're bringing a new life into being, so if all you can do is maybe go to work or make a meal and not drink, so be it.
SInce I'm taking Kate Bee's course, a ton of my attention right now is on "not-drinking." That passage put it into perspective for me. This is a big project for me, and probably for the first time I know this is a HUGE life or death deal that deserves my attention. I had a list as long as my arm of things to accomplish yesterday, including making bread, working out, cleaning our dining room, organizing my bedside table, writing a card to a friend, and washing my hair. I did exactly one of those things (Hint: my hair's still dirty). Then I played with making a drink with sparkling water and elderberry flower syrup and with setting up an essential oil diffuser so I can use a "splendid rest" oil to help me sleep. Both of those are "not-drinking" activities. That's all I did all day. But that's ok. Another morning feeling great. Obviously life will have to go back to normal, but no one begrudges a pregnant woman that time of total focus, and I'm not going to begrudge myself that focused time when it comes to sobriety.7 -
Make that “We Are the Luckiest”.1
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Make that “We Are the Luckiest”.
Sounds like you are doing a wonderful job listening to your body and mind. You must have needed a break from "to do lists".
Yes, I agree it is a matter of life and death. And we choose LIFE- sober and happy.
I read a quote from a celebrity who said "Sobriety is his job. Acting is his hobby." I agree. It does take a concerted effort especially the first few months - it is our job to stay sober. You are doing great!
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FeelinFooFoo wrote: »So this morning, my partner knocked on my brothers door, he had slept in and we realised he had been boozing last night. Luckily he was able to take a holiday as his work had plenty people on today. PHEW. Cos he looked like death warmed up. I do not miss that hangover feeling when I have a day of work ahead of me. My heart actually broke a bit just looking at him. Red tired eyes. Pale, dry skin and a look that said "why did I do this to myself?" A look I have had many many times myself. I have suggested he try 30 day alcohol experiment and I gave him my Alan Carr book. Anyway. He asked if we all wanted to go for a walk. Which we did. Sun's out, blue skies so it was a nice walk. He then wanted to stop by the local pub/resturaunt that me and my partner had been in last Saturday.
It's such a weird experience gettin used to this 'new normal' 1 way entry systems etc. My bro constantly complained of the dreaded fear, post anxiety black cloud of impending doom. He felt something bad was gona happen. Again, I don't miss that! During our sit down outside sipping lemonades a man began talking to us. He was drinking beers (no judgement here) but I obviously noticed it. He then moved to sit closer by us and I did kinda worry that he planned to continue chatting while we ate (but he didn't). As he drank his beer I noticed he had a very red, ruddy complexion and he then told us he was recently out of jail, had lost his job and broke up with his wife. A part of me couldn't help but wonder, had alcohol possibly played a large part of these negative events in his life ? I was also kinda glad that my brother listened to him tell his story. I know myself how lucky I am to have survived my drinking days without any real lasting effects. Had I carried on? It could be me one day, telling folk how I lost it all.....
Sometimes we need these little "God winks" to remind us of our motivations for being sober. Talking to that man was impactful.
I recently saw a friend who told me she has been drinking a lot; her face looked so hard- deep wrinkles (she smokes too). I felt bad for her. Because I do know that alcohol is so dehydrating. I Have looked so puffy and red on many hangover mornings.4 -
@donimfp Great insight and I think it absolutely makes sense. In some ways, I've viewed at my 4+ months of sobriety as somewhere in between giving birth to a newborn and empty nest syndrome.
NEWBORN. It's not fun. It doesn't feel sexy (sometimes when I drink I feel sexy, but I'm sure I look so unsexy, lol). Having a newborn is exciting and terrifying. What is my new normal? What are all this *kitten* feelings that are overwhelming me? How do I have fun with this little thing? I'm so tired, but if I bring her to bed with me I might smother her. I have to be wary of things I think are a good choice and make sure they are the best for her. How do I discover new things we both enjoy and are safe and healthy for us? How o I do the things I used to do with my friends? Will they think I'm a drag now that I'm a mommy? I need to make some friends that also have newborns so we can relate, commiserate, and share beautiful stories and pictures of our newfound Loves.
EMPTY NEST. I'm free! I can sleep in or get up when I want. But I MISS THEM!!!! I'm feeling so empty. I think I'm doing ok, and then I see their jackets, or a friend pops by with her daughter in tow, and I think...it's not FAIR! I don't know how to fill my time. What is joy anymore? They were so part of my daily habit. Most of my friends still have kids at home, so when we get together, there's a lack of commonality. I need to find my own hobbies and joys.5 -
RubyRed427 wrote: »
Yes, I agree it is a matter of life and death. And we choose LIFE- sober and happy.
I read a quote from a celebrity who said "Sobriety is his job. Acting is his hobby." I agree. It does take a concerted effort especially the first few months - it is our job to stay sober. You are doing great!
You are right on!! Approaching sobriety as our job is the ticket to freedom from alcohol dependence. Immersing ourselves in education about the true nature of alcohol and the consequences that are inevitable, selecting who we spend our time with, namely, those who support our decision to stop drinking, and working on taking care of ourselves by giving ourselves some much needed TLC and time to unwind in healthy, productive ways that will enhance our lives & relationships instead of impairing them takes our time. attention & energy. We are all worth the time & energy it takes to heal from whatever is driving us to drink to numb it all out! Drinking is only a symptom of some issues that need to be addressed. Alcohol is not the problem, it's only a symptom of an underlying problem. Take away the drink and the other stuff can surface so we can deal with it.
Happy, AF weekend to all
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Good Sober Sunday ! So nice to be hangover free today. I got results from a series of blood tests for life insurance policy. Anyway, I was so happy to report that any of the test results with kidney or liver were all great. The only issue is high cholesterol 153 which is part hereditary and part ice cream and Diorites.
I opened a bottle of FRE Zinfandel because I had it in my fridge. Anyway, It was missing something... @FeelinFooFoo it was missing that familiar alcohol taste. It just didn't do anything for me. So I understand how your drink was ok and you missed that familiar taste of rum.
Last year, I had a delicious AF mojito but when I make AF cocktails, they lack that taste that I like (from alcohol). I will stick to Perrier I guess.4 -
I’ve never found a satisfying mocktail either. But just this week I tried grapefruit juice and tonic with a little lime. The bitterness did the trick for me. Yum. Also I’m a big Guinness stout fan. A company named Bravus makes a NA oatmeal stout that tastes identical to my palate. I’d been ordering from CA and paying shipping but just discovered it’s available in some shops including a few in Austin. That’s a 30-minute drive for me but I’m heading there tomorrow.
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I’ve never found a satisfying mocktail either. But just this week I tried grapefruit juice and tonic with a little lime. The bitterness did the trick for me. Yum. Also I’m a big Guinness stout fan. A company named Bravus makes a NA oatmeal stout that tastes identical to my palate. I’d been ordering from CA and paying shipping but just discovered it’s available in some shops including a few in Austin. That’s a 30-minute drive for me but I’m heading there tomorrow.
I recently bought an AF Guinness, but I haven't tried it yet.1 -
I would have an NA beer if someone handed it to me and I was looking for hydration, but I'm not shopping for a replacement. Beer in excess was never my problem, it was just how I started before sliding over to bourbon. I actually was a pretty good homebrewer back in the day (30 years ago), so I'm particular about that stuff. But not enough to search for a NA substitute.
Had a relapse of a sort a couple of days ago. Both my kids are living at home for a few weeks and someone put a can of alcohol lemon/tea fizzy drink in where the seltzers typically go. One swig and it was so disgusting had to spit it out. Gross.
Was helping a friend with his motorcycle yesterday and he was talking about how much I'd drink out at his cabin. He still doesn't believe that was not special occasion amount for me, just the every day volume shifted earlier in the day.
One more day sober! Good to see folks checking in.8 -
Nuffer it is certainly not a relapse if you drank it accidentally. A relapse must be intentional! That did not count at all.
So I forced myself to go for early walk/jog this morning. My dietitian said make exercise as much as a habit as brushing your teeth. I've gained back some of the weight I lost so I am trying to nip that in the bud right now. I know the belly fat is most dangerous for your health. I've been watching some youtubes on how to get rid of it. Obviously its wine belly along with hormonal changes as we age. The wine is gone but the belly remains....I just have to keep on going. Wishing you all a healthy day5 -
Still here.... still AF
I had the panic inducing drinking dream last night. I woke up in a panic thinking “what have I done” and had a hard time determining that it was not real. So scary.
My arthritis is acting up (omg I sound 90) so maybe my brain felt this pain and thought it must be a hangover....idk!
Def not the casual drink dreams I’ve had before.
I have more to share with y’all but I must get to work. I’ll be back 😊
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