The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living
Replies
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Ok... I'm back
Just a reminder of my current situation -- I 'live' in North Georgia, but I'm currently residing in Pensacola, working remotely and nannying for my grandson. He is 4 months old and my daughter is in the military. Covid has made childcare non existent. Our calls last week were met with "we will possibly have openings in 2021." This has been my routine since mid May with no change in sight. I returned home last weekend and drove back to Florida yesterday.
This past weekend SUCKED! I arrived home at like 11PM Friday and went straight to bed. Saturday I woke up to find my husband was already drinking.... This happened again Sunday. He was drunk or 'napping' all weekend long. It was quite miserable. Yesterday we met with our accountant and finally filed our taxes. Immediately after I left for Florida. About an hour out he called me - I could already hear alcohol on his voice. He apologized for the weekend. Honestly, this went in one ear and out the other bc I have heard these apologies so many times before. After the apology, he went on to say that he felt like he is ready to make a change. Said that seeing me and the transition I have made has made him want to be better. Said that he knows if he continues on the path he is on he will be dead in 10 years. He wants to see our grandson grow up.
He has never made comments like these. He is not willing to seek professional help yet. This is not out of the question tho. He wants to see what he can do on his own before making that step.
I am so hopeful that he will make a change. Even if not AF, less! I do think he is beyond the point of being able to quit cold turkey - the WDs would be too great without professional help.
My goal now is to just be supportive. He needs to do this for himself, not me.
Any advice is welcome.7 -
Ok... I'm back
Just a reminder of my current situation -- I 'live' in North Georgia, but I'm currently residing in Pensacola, working remotely and nannying for my grandson. He is 4 months old and my daughter is in the military. Covid has made childcare non existent. Our calls last week were met with "we will possibly have openings in 2021." This has been my routine since mid May with no change in sight. I returned home last weekend and drove back to Florida yesterday.
This past weekend SUCKED! I arrived home at like 11PM Friday and went straight to bed. Saturday I woke up to find my husband was already drinking.... This happened again Sunday. He was drunk or 'napping' all weekend long. It was quite miserable. Yesterday we met with our accountant and finally filed our taxes. Immediately after I left for Florida. About an hour out he called me - I could already hear alcohol on his voice. He apologized for the weekend. Honestly, this went in one ear and out the other bc I have heard these apologies so many times before. After the apology, he went on to say that he felt like he is ready to make a change. Said that seeing me and the transition I have made has made him want to be better. Said that he knows if he continues on the path he is on he will be dead in 10 years. He wants to see our grandson grow up.
He has never made comments like these. He is not willing to seek professional help yet. This is not out of the question tho. He wants to see what he can do on his own before making that step.
I am so hopeful that he will make a change. Even if not AF, less! I do think he is beyond the point of being able to quit cold turkey - the WDs would be too great without professional help.
My goal now is to just be supportive. He needs to do this for himself, not me.
Any advice is welcome.
Is there any way he can taper down? I had to do that after drinking daily for 8 years straight! Just each day do less and less,also there's this herb called "kudzu" you can get it at any health food store or Amazon,it really curbed my need for alcohol in those days and I'd be shocked when I just didn't want to finish a beer,worth a shot anyways,hope everyone is well 💗5 -
Ok... I'm back
Just a reminder of my current situation -- I 'live' in North Georgia, but I'm currently residing in Pensacola, working remotely and nannying for my grandson. He is 4 months old and my daughter is in the military. Covid has made childcare non existent. Our calls last week were met with "we will possibly have openings in 2021." This has been my routine since mid May with no change in sight. I returned home last weekend and drove back to Florida yesterday.
This past weekend SUCKED! I arrived home at like 11PM Friday and went straight to bed. Saturday I woke up to find my husband was already drinking.... This happened again Sunday. He was drunk or 'napping' all weekend long. It was quite miserable. Yesterday we met with our accountant and finally filed our taxes. Immediately after I left for Florida. About an hour out he called me - I could already hear alcohol on his voice. He apologized for the weekend. Honestly, this went in one ear and out the other bc I have heard these apologies so many times before. After the apology, he went on to say that he felt like he is ready to make a change. Said that seeing me and the transition I have made has made him want to be better. Said that he knows if he continues on the path he is on he will be dead in 10 years. He wants to see our grandson grow up.
He has never made comments like these. He is not willing to seek professional help yet. This is not out of the question tho. He wants to see what he can do on his own before making that step.
I am so hopeful that he will make a change. Even if not AF, less! I do think he is beyond the point of being able to quit cold turkey - the WDs would be too great without professional help.
My goal now is to just be supportive. He needs to do this for himself, not me.
Any advice is welcome.
Is there any way he can taper down? I had to do that after drinking daily for 8 years straight! Just each day do less and less,also there's this herb called "kudzu" you can get it at any health food store or Amazon,it really curbed my need for alcohol in those days and I'd be shocked when I just didn't want to finish a beer,worth a shot anyways,hope everyone is well 💗
This was part of our discussion yesterday. I suggested that however he approached needed to be a measurable method so he could monitor and SEE his progress.
I’ll look up Kudzu. I wonder if it is the same as the vine that grows here??4 -
Ok... I'm back
Just a reminder of my current situation -- I 'live' in North Georgia, but I'm currently residing in Pensacola, working remotely and nannying for my grandson. He is 4 months old and my daughter is in the military. Covid has made childcare non existent. Our calls last week were met with "we will possibly have openings in 2021." This has been my routine since mid May with no change in sight. I returned home last weekend and drove back to Florida yesterday.
This past weekend SUCKED! I arrived home at like 11PM Friday and went straight to bed. Saturday I woke up to find my husband was already drinking.... This happened again Sunday. He was drunk or 'napping' all weekend long. It was quite miserable. Yesterday we met with our accountant and finally filed our taxes. Immediately after I left for Florida. About an hour out he called me - I could already hear alcohol on his voice. He apologized for the weekend. Honestly, this went in one ear and out the other bc I have heard these apologies so many times before. After the apology, he went on to say that he felt like he is ready to make a change. Said that seeing me and the transition I have made has made him want to be better. Said that he knows if he continues on the path he is on he will be dead in 10 years. He wants to see our grandson grow up.
He has never made comments like these. He is not willing to seek professional help yet. This is not out of the question tho. He wants to see what he can do on his own before making that step.
I am so hopeful that he will make a change. Even if not AF, less! I do think he is beyond the point of being able to quit cold turkey - the WDs would be too great without professional help.
My goal now is to just be supportive. He needs to do this for himself, not me.
Any advice is welcome.
Is there any way he can taper down? I had to do that after drinking daily for 8 years straight! Just each day do less and less,also there's this herb called "kudzu" you can get it at any health food store or Amazon,it really curbed my need for alcohol in those days and I
I'd be shocked when I just didn't want to finish a beer,worth a shot anyways,hope everyone is well 💗
This was part of our discussion yesterday. I suggested that however he approached needed to be a measurable method so he could monitor and SEE his progress.
I’ll look up Kudzu. I wonder if it is the same as the vine that grows here??
Have you asked your doctor for help? Naltraxone works wonders for those who are trying to quit. It was developed for opiod addiction but they have found it to be more effective for alcoholics. https://riahealth.com/2018/08/24/whats-it-like-to-drink-alcohol-while-on-naltrexone/3 -
@Beka3695 Also, he seems isolated especially because you are babysitting; he needs a group or support system. It is so difficult to just do it all on his own with "willpower". His body and brain will definitely need to taper off so he doesn't get a seizure. Maybe he can reach out to a buddy who he knows reduced drinking ...
I'm proud of you! And you look so young to be a grandmother4 -
RubyRed427 wrote: »@Beka3695 Also, he seems isolated especially because you are babysitting; he needs a group or support system. It is so difficult to just do it all on his own with "willpower". His body and brain will definitely need to taper off so he doesn't get a seizure. Maybe he can reach out to a buddy who he knows reduced drinking ...
I'm proud of you! And you look so young to be a grandmother
I’m looking for that friend for him. I think I’ve found it but my husband is extremely private. I’m the extra extrovert of the two of us.
Thanks! I was just 21 when I had her. She and I grew up together.
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@Beka3695 Well, she is so lucky to have you as a mom and grandma! xoxo
Yes, I understand it is painful to admit to anyone you have a problem. He is on the right track though in just saying he thinks he needs to change.6 -
@Beka3695 what a sweet little guy. You look great too. I hope all works well with your husband. I can't offer any advice except that he has to want it.
Im hoping for the same for my husband. But he doesn't even think he has a problem. Its a waiting game.
Congrats @FeelinFooFoo on your streak!4 -
I've been watching some Alfred Hitchcock re-runs on YouTube & was quite surprised to see alcohol featured in most of the episodes I've watched. Also, smoking was "normal" back then. It made me think that is what I grew up watching & shows similar. There were some Dean Martin skits from his show way back when & he was also quite the drinker...one episode was with Foster Brooks who used to play the town drunk and it made me realize how these types of shows normalized drinking and likely had a fairly big influence on the attitudes toward drinking at that time. I think the influence is subtler in some ways now, and mostly through advertising, but there is still a big influence. I just thought it was interesting that alcohol was such a feature back then.5
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I would like to join in the quest to stay sober. You all are doing fantastic.12
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@lorrainequiche59, did you ever see any of the "Thin Man" films with William Powell and Myrna Loy? Nick and Nora (their characters) are a husband and wife amateur detective team who sip martinis from morning to midnight. I swear I watched a couple of these about 10 years ago and had to immediately have a martini. Those old shows definitely glorified the booze. Nowadays, I've noticed empowered women are drinking. Alicia Florek on The Good Wife regularly came home to a fishbowl-sized glass of red wine, and we never saw her hungover. Ah, media.
I'm on Day 10 of the Sober School course and loving it. I'm keeping a journal and have stolen @whitpauly's sign off each day: "Another 24".
Have a great day and stay cool, everyone. We hit 108 on Monday.6 -
I have been sober for 90 days today and its my 51st birthday.
Anyway, what a difference year makes. Last birthday, I was drunk, crying, hysterical and yelled at my friends for ruining my birthday. I can say today that me and vodka ruined my birthday last year, but it won't do that again.
Today, I am so happy, so clear headed, so relieved to be sitting on my back patio in my new house, breeze blowing, sun shining.. surrounded by loving people from afar. Turning 50 sucked, but 51 feels so much better.
@QueenZeeIsm Welcome to our little happy group!
@lorrainequiche59 I have to say even now watching some shows where they are constantly drinking makes me crave it.
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My daughter just gave me this painting she made for me for my birthday: I love the sentiment!
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Great news day 1
Last night, I spoke to my hubby by phone at about 10 pm. He did not have “that sound” in his voice. I know he had a great day 1!!!10 -
RubyRed427 wrote: »My daughter just gave me this painting she made for me for my birthday: I love the sentiment!
She made that? Thats so beautiful. Blue is my favorite color. Shes very talented! Hope your birthday was a great one! ♥5 -
@RubyRed427 Such a beautiful painting! She gets her artistic talent from you!4
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Welcome @QueenZeelsm to our fantastic supportive group
Yay @RubyRed427 Yay 90 days...your daughter's painting is lovely and the message inspiring!
Congrats @FeelinFooFoo on your 31 day streak!!3 -
@Beka3695 I'm wondering if your hubby would be willing to check out Craig Beck or Alcohol Mastery...it could give him a bit of a kick start into wrapping his mind around his alcohol issue and may be more in his comfort zone to listen to one of these guys or whoever else he may relate to...there is a ton of online help & I found YouTube to be a great resource for me in the early days of getting myself some help to change my drinking habit.
Cute grandbaby...being a Granny is the BEST!! I'm sure it is difficult for you though to be in the role of caretaker & being away from your own home for so long. Hoping the best for you and smooch that wee baby & enjoy your time together2 -
@donimfp No I didn't see the Thin Man films, but it seems that era was oblivious to the serious effects of the drink. We are so much more educated now in many ways, but denial is still the favorite tool of us who do not want to see the reality of stuff that is more difficult to face until we are ready to face it. Plain & simple.
That is one thing in this group that I have always admired & appreciated is the honesty and willingness to be real in spite of whatever difficulties we may be facing individually...we keep it real here.2
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