Anyone working on a revenge body post break up?

Hello my name is Justice. My story is as follows:

For 6 years of my life i was in a relationship that seemed incredibly loving and real or so seemed. At the core of it there were so many lies and toxicity.She(51 when we but 56 now) was much older and took advantage of my(23 When we met but 28 now) naivety and trusting nature. I was so blinded by love that i did not even notice all the control and manipulation. She did not feel beautiful so she felt the need to keep me looking unattractive and hate myself because she was unhappy with her life. She lied about who she was, what she did in her past, made up stories about people in her life just so i would trust her and like her. I still pains me that throughout our relationship she did not value or trust me enough to share the truth with. She maintained her lies to the very end. Once i confronted her about these lies, she got upset and blocked me permanently. We had built so much supposed love and trust in each other but i guess it was all just a farce and i was being manipulated to meet her emotional needs while she satisfied her other other needs with other men. It is painful to discover that you gave someone your whole heart and yet they only gave you a piece in order to protect themselves. I was truly foolish and should have paid attention to all the red flags i encountered during the relationship. I will not sit her completely paint her black however. We share great moments together. We most surely did. In fact we became the best of friends and deep down, friends is truly all that we should have stayed. I know i dodged a bullet and i wish her well and hope she finds happiness somehow while being a compulsive liar. I truly do hope she changes because she is a very kind and loving person. We were just not meant for each other and should have realized that sooner. I, however, realize that i have a lot of life ahead of me and in time the pain will hurt a lot less. I hope she is able to make the changes she needs to make in a life so she can one day truly find the happiness she is looking for.

Anyways I've been on Keto for 4 months now and i am feeling great and ready to move on with my life and do the things that i need to do for myself! If you have a similar story you want to share that motivated you, this is the place to do it. Looking forward to hearing from all of you! Take care and stay motivated to keep reaching those goals! My Instagram is Jaymow05 and I will be sharing my fitness journey there if anyone is interested in following me along the way! In addition, please feel free to add me as a friend! Lord knows i need a lot of those right now! I am also an open book, you may ask me anything regarding what i am dealing with emotionally. It helps me to talk and i could really use the support right now. Thank you so much for reading this and hope to be friends with anyone who is willing to support me or is going through something similar that i am.

Replies

  • Carrierm82
    Carrierm82 Posts: 11 Member
    I feel that break ups leave you feeling hurt, frustrated, and maybe not so good about yourself. Pooping that into looking better and feeling better about yourself is great just remember you can make someone want you. Do it for yourself and your confidence will rise and all the ladies will want that but don’t do it for her she is not worth it.πŸ˜€
  • jmakleanaddo
    jmakleanaddo Posts: 101 Member
    You seem like a great guy. You are still young and will find someone more suited. Relationships are learning experiences, we grow from them (or should). A lot of women lose themselves in relationships, sounds like that is what happened to you. Let those revenge goals turn in to reward goals for the next loving relationship, and for yourself. Spend some time recovering and learning who you are, careful not to jump back into something right now. It is okay to be alone, have friends, get a pet, connect with a church/community of your choice, and enjoy who you are.

    If you are interested, there are many challenges to keep you focused and on track. I am partial to the MFP running challenge (walkers welcome).

    Until next time, do you.

    Thank you so much and this is exactly my plan. I am going to channel all the anger, frustration and possible vindictive :D thoughts into working out instead. That is the healthiest way i can deal with this. Thank you so much and i will send you a friend request. Please accept if you are willing. I would love as much support as i can get!
  • jmakleanaddo
    jmakleanaddo Posts: 101 Member
    I feel that break ups leave you feeling hurt, frustrated, and maybe not so good about yourself. Pooping that into looking better and feeling better about yourself is great just remember you can make someone want you. Do it for yourself and your confidence will rise and all the ladies will want that but don’t do it for her she is not worth it.πŸ˜€

    My confidence is getting back up there. Ive been relying on family and friends and outlets like this to help me stay focused on myself and my goals. It still hurts and i have my highs and lows everyday, but i know in time it will get better and she and everything she did to me will be a distant memory! Thank you for the encouragement!

  • Megan_smartiepants1970
    Megan_smartiepants1970 Posts: 38,512 Member
    Glad that you finally realized that the relationship wasn't for you ....Some stay in a relationship because they don't want to be lonely .... I am also a Keto'er .....wishing you much success .... Feel free to add me if you would like :)
  • MohsenSALAH
    MohsenSALAH Posts: 182 Member
    Good luck man, maybe it's not for revenge maybe it happened for a purpose to be healthy and become in shape. Look at the bright side.

    Unleash the beast inside you in the gym
  • AliNouveau
    AliNouveau Posts: 36,287 Member
    Sorry about the relationship, that's tough
    But do this because you want to better yourself. The revenge thing will be all in your mind only. Always with those types of these the other has long moved on. So it's time to put yourself first and do this for you
  • jmakleanaddo
    jmakleanaddo Posts: 101 Member
    edited August 2020
    Sorry about the relationship, that's tough
    But do this because you want to better yourself. The revenge thing will be all in your mind only. Always with those types of these the other has long moved on. So it's time to put yourself first and do this for you

    You're absolutely right! I actually realized this after I made this post! I'm slowly finding peace within myself and even though the pain is still fresh, I'll deal with it in a healthy way! The end of that relationship was a long time coming. We were just caught lying to ourselves pretending we had a future despite all the clear red flags.. Wish she was just honest with me about what she truly wanted and save me a whole lot of heartache
  • LockdownLoser23
    LockdownLoser23 Posts: 93 Member
    Totally respect what you are doing sir! Hope you crush it and smash your goals! Whilst I respect you being the bigger man....I'd still make an order for your ex on poopsenders.com ;)
  • jmakleanaddo
    jmakleanaddo Posts: 101 Member
    Totally respect what you are doing sir! Hope you crush it and smash your goals! Whilst I respect you being the bigger man....I'd still make an order for your ex on poopsenders.com ;)

    Haha a man of true class I see! But no she doesn't even deserve that at this point..
  • NotSoFat70
    NotSoFat70 Posts: 304 Member
    I dumped a narcissistic GF back in February. Didn't plan on this being a revenge bod, but some friends think it is lol. One of my Bros said "wow, you showed her!" Nope, I give as much thought to her as the last toilet I flushed . She was a gaslighter, narcissist, nasty little thing. Tried to drive a wedge between me and my friends. Didn't work, I was on to her. A younger me probably wouldn't have been. I called her on her C word behavior but it was non stop
    Should have ended it earlier but, whatever. Once I did , I slept like a baby after a few months of going to bed demoralized. In the morning, it was funny, I wasn't a failure anymore! I knew how to drive again?? πŸ™„,I could do everything right and wasn't forgetful !!πŸ€” idk how some guys put up with that πŸ’© for their entire life .

    Anyway, smash your goals, bud!. Flush that *kitten* the same way I did! πŸ’ͺ
  • MaltedTea
    MaltedTea Posts: 6,286 Member
    I dumped a narcissistic GF back in February. Didn't plan on this being a revenge bod, but some friends think it is lol. One of my Bros said "wow, you showed her!" Nope, I give as much thought to her as the last toilet I flushed . She was a gaslighter, narcissist, nasty little thing. Tried to drive a wedge between me and my friends. Didn't work, I was on to her. A younger me probably wouldn't have been. I called her on her C word behavior but it was non stop
    Should have ended it earlier but, whatever. Once I did , I slept like a baby after a few months of going to bed demoralized. In the morning, it was funny, I wasn't a failure anymore! I knew how to drive again?? πŸ™„,I could do everything right and wasn't forgetful !!πŸ€” idk how some guys put up with that πŸ’© for their entire life .

    Anyway, smash your goals, bud!. Flush that *kitten* the same way I did! πŸ’ͺ

    Your profile says you're from Manitoba...how hard could driving be out there?! It's mostly flat prairie lol Come to Montreal and see what we have to deal with #potholeseverywhere

    Glad you're out @NotSoFat70 and same for you @jmakleanaddo Both of you sound like you're already beyond fine!


  • AliNouveau
    AliNouveau Posts: 36,287 Member
    I dumped a narcissistic GF back in February. Didn't plan on this being a revenge bod, but some friends think it is lol. One of my Bros said "wow, you showed her!" Nope, I give as much thought to her as the last toilet I flushed . She was a gaslighter, narcissist, nasty little thing. Tried to drive a wedge between me and my friends. Didn't work, I was on to her. A younger me probably wouldn't have been. I called her on her C word behavior but it was non stop
    Should have ended it earlier but, whatever. Once I did , I slept like a baby after a few months of going to bed demoralized. In the morning, it was funny, I wasn't a failure anymore! I knew how to drive again?? πŸ™„,I could do everything right and wasn't forgetful !!πŸ€” idk how some guys put up with that πŸ’© for their entire life .

    Anyway, smash your goals, bud!. Flush that *kitten* the same way I did! πŸ’ͺ

    Your profile says you're from Manitoba...how hard could driving be out there?! It's mostly flat prairie lol Come to Montreal and see what we have to deal with #potholeseverywhere

    Glad you're out @NotSoFat70 and same for you @jmakleanaddo Both of you sound like you're already beyond fine!


    Haha but they have polar bears and giant mosquitos!!!! Toronto is bad for potholes too. I've a friend who ruined a wheel rim in one and a few streets it's like a maze πŸ˜‚πŸ€£

    Btw NotSoFat good attitude. Leave the baggage behind and move on
  • NotSoFat70
    NotSoFat70 Posts: 304 Member
    I dumped a narcissistic GF back in February. Didn't plan on this being a revenge bod, but some friends think it is lol. One of my Bros said "wow, you showed her!" Nope, I give as much thought to her as the last toilet I flushed . She was a gaslighter, narcissist, nasty little thing. Tried to drive a wedge between me and my friends. Didn't work, I was on to her. A younger me probably wouldn't have been. I called her on her C word behavior but it was non stop
    Should have ended it earlier but, whatever. Once I did , I slept like a baby after a few months of going to bed demoralized. In the morning, it was funny, I wasn't a failure anymore! I knew how to drive again?? πŸ™„,I could do everything right and wasn't forgetful !!πŸ€” idk how some guys put up with that πŸ’© for their entire life .

    Anyway, smash your goals, bud!. Flush that *kitten* the same way I did! πŸ’ͺ

    Your profile says you're from Manitoba...how hard could driving be out there?! It's mostly flat prairie lol Come to Montreal and see what we have to deal with #potholeseverywhere

    Glad you're out @NotSoFat70 and same for you @jmakleanaddo Both of you sound like you're already beyond fine!

    Lol most of our roads are donkey trails at best πŸ˜‚Couple that with the jack *kitten* behind the wheel and well...πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    No, apparently I couldn't drive worth πŸ’© according to her 😡All I know,the last accident I caused was in 1986 ...her vehicle had a fresh dent every few weeks,always 'vandalism' πŸ€”
  • tnh2o
    tnh2o Posts: 155 Member
    Be careful what you wish for. During my separation I joined WW and and after the divorce I trained for a triathlon. I was in the best shape of my life. Of course he came back, sort of. What a disaster!
  • jmakleanaddo
    jmakleanaddo Posts: 101 Member
    I dumped a narcissistic GF back in February. Didn't plan on this being a revenge bod, but some friends think it is lol. One of my Bros said "wow, you showed her!" Nope, I give as much thought to her as the last toilet I flushed . She was a gaslighter, narcissist, nasty little thing. Tried to drive a wedge between me and my friends. Didn't work, I was on to her. A younger me probably wouldn't have been. I called her on her C word behavior but it was non stop
    Should have ended it earlier but, whatever. Once I did , I slept like a baby after a few months of going to bed demoralized. In the morning, it was funny, I wasn't a failure anymore! I knew how to drive again?? πŸ™„,I could do everything right and wasn't forgetful !!πŸ€” idk how some guys put up with that πŸ’© for their entire life .

    Anyway, smash your goals, bud!. Flush that *kitten* the same way I did! πŸ’ͺ

    Your profile says you're from Manitoba...how hard could driving be out there?! It's mostly flat prairie lol Come to Montreal and see what we have to deal with #potholeseverywhere

    Glad you're out @NotSoFat70 and same for you @jmakleanaddo Both of you sound like you're already beyond fine!


    You're right. Today has been a great day!! I'm feeling happier than I've been in a while and there is so much to look forward to. Reconnecting with many friends I lost and its been amazing. All in all I'm thankful for what happened. The gaslighting and toxicity was enough! Had to take charge of my life! Good riddins!