How to not feel like it's one long endless diet.
Replies
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What and how much we choose to eat is our diet.
In choosing to eat enough to maintain a particular weight, be it underweight, healthy, overweight or morbidly obese, we have chosen to craft our diets in a particular way. That diet, including the amount one eats, becomes a habit.
I, left to my own devices, eat enough to weigh twice what I ought. This is my eating habit. It was my diet. I have chosen to change my diet to sustain a person who weighs less. Eating enough to weigh twice what I ought is a very hard habit to break. To achieve and then maintain a weight that is healthy, I will need to develop a habitual diet that maintains that healthy weight. If I go back to eating the diet that resulted in weighing that much, I will again weigh that much.
In other words, if you do not habitually, without monitoring, have a diet that keeps you at a healthy weight, you will need to monitor your weight and your diet to reinforce your choice to amend your habitual diet to one that works to keep you "at maintenance." Hopefully, in the long run, it will become your new habitual diet.
Few people are lucky enough to have their new diet become their habitual diet long term without careful monitoring. That is why so many "gain the weight back." They return to the old eating habits that got them the way they were. Most of us are that way. Daily monitoring is the way we keep from falling into old habits.
As long as you view the old habitual way of eating, the one that made you fat, as "regular" or "normal" you are riding for a fall. A habitual way of eating that makes you fat is a fundamentally flawed diet. Developing a new habitual way of eating that keeps you at a healthy weight is a normal diet and not a "diet" (in the faddish, abnormal sense).25 -
There's no such thing as the Finish Line.
I know people who have a 'normal' relationship with food. They come by it naturally with long term weight stability. They all share one thing in common. Not one of them has ever been on a diet in their entire lifetime.
They click and clack down the railroad tracks without going on eating excursions and then try to overcompensate by putting on the brakes with another new diet. They don't entertain themselves with food rewards or need a Cheat Meal.
They don't start over and over again. Every day is a brand new slate and they live in the present. I like to observe these rare birds. They don't plaster Befores all over the house without ever reaching the After, finding that elusive Dream Weight. I'm talking about my mother. We have one normal side of the family and one abby normal side of the family with diabetes, heart issues, obesity and we simply haven't got the time here.
I have to deal with their genetics and it does give me a big pinch. Create your own positive food management plan. Incorporate the foods you like. We can learn to moderate ourselves with food. Take what you need from a bunch of different sources and do everything on your own terms. That way, you won't feel like you are one endless diet.
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I am not at maintenance yet but I do IF - eating well 4 days a week but seriously restrict my calories on 3 days a week. I also walk 4 miles a day minimum and that wins me another half a pound or so worth of calorie deficit a week.
So my thoughts when I get to maintenance is to keep up with the walking, of course, as that is for general health as much as anything, and to keep a single fasting day.
At the moment my fasting days are 600 calories and for that I tend to have a a big bowl of porridge, a bowl of homemade vegetable miso soup, a yogurt and an apple - so the calories can go a surprisingly long way.
So hopefully the upshot will be that on maintenance I will be able to eat well most days and not feel restricted - but I do intend to keep with the calorie counting as stopping that has been my downfall in the past.
Do you mind me asking what your 'generic 1200 calorie' breakfast meal might be?
I never have a 1200 day, eating 1800 four days a week and 600 three days a week, but also never eat breakfast as this makes me hungry all day. My first meal will never be before lunchtime.
Today is an "eating day" and I had my first meal at 3pm as it happens and it was crispbreads, cheese spread and a pear which came to 220 calories.
I do eat porridge every day, eating or fasting day, but have this in the evening. 40g of rolled oats, 13g of skimmed milk powder and some sweetener = 200 calories.
I started this journey with 5:2 but have modified this to suit my personal preferences and experience as I have gone along, finding fasting every other day to be a step too far for example, and this week I hit a lose of 7 stone, which has taken around a year. :-)
oh sorry...I took a peek into your food diary and saw 'generic 1200 calories' on various days listed under 'breakfast'.
Ah OK.... I understand. :-)
MFP does not allow different calorie goals on different days so I set every day to 1800 and do that to "delete" 1200 calories on fasting days so I can see how many of my actual 600 calories I have left for the day.
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I've been in maintenance for about a month. Like yourself I was not keen to keep logging everyday and weighing constantly. Instead I've just been eating sensibly. I know from months of logging pretty much what foods work best. I also know that if I eat too many calorie-dense foods I'll gain weight. Instead I'm choosing to stay away from bread, wheat crackers, etc or only eating half as much as a normal person might. I've had a few days where I've gone off the rails, but the next few days I know if I want to "maintain" I need to be a bit more creative to put together a satisfying meal that's within limits.
My BMI is 22.5 at maintenance. It would be great to move it a bit lower but I need to be sure it's right for me. I agree with other posts about evaluating the best BMI for you. I've never had any luck keeping my BMI at 20 although I can diet down to that point :-)3 -
I eat whatever I like, but not a lot of it. So I never feel deprived?
I also eat what I want FIRST. So if I want cake, I eat a small piece, log it, and then eat other things I like. I have ice cream every day, but just 1/4 cup. I pay a lot of attention to what I like and I savor it.4 -
Ok, Coach G-BO here and here's what you need to know:
1. Stop using the D-I-E-T word. First 3 letters are D-I-E and as long as you use that word, you will feel like you wanna die until you can eat "normal" again. WRONG! This is a new way of eating that can be a lifetime of balance...until you decide it's not worth it and go off the wagon again. Not an option.
2. Stop eating food you hate or get sick of AND you cook. Find some recipes of your favorite foods and lighten them up or find lightened versions. Find the fun in cooking food that you actually look forward to eating. It's hard to be losing weight when you hate what you're going to eat....and wouldn't eat it if not on an eating plan.
3. It's about the calorie deficit...period. Doesn't matter what foods you're eating, as long as your body has to burn more than it takes in, you'll lose weight. Want that Fast Food burger? Find one that fits your calories (Whopper Jr vs Whopper, Jr Bacon Cheeseburger vs Triple Bacon patty burger) or any choice that has a calorie count ( ChickFila Chicken Strips, Fried Chicken Leg/Thigh, etc)
4. Move more. The CICO part that people forget is the Calories Out part. Set a daily steps goal, join a gym, look for cardio workouts on YouTube, etc...but you have to move to balance the calorie deficit.
5. Remember this can be a lifetime plan that works well once you remove the mental restrictions that keep you from enjoying food and feeling like it's worth it.
Hope this helps.10 -
The first year of maintenance is rough. I agree.
What helped me (In maintenance 3 years) is
1. keep moving
2. eat as when I was losing weight, but in stead of having the occasional day of more (i.e. christmas, easter and birthday) having this on a weekly basis.
The strange thing is that over time I lost my need to be over on the weekend day. It sort of settled itself after a while. I continue to log loosely though. What I mean by that I don't weigh everything anymore and use guestimates more. However whenever I feel things are moving the wrong ways I weigh for a week again and it drops.6 -
Exercise! I've been at maintenance for >3 years now eating 1500-1600 calories of pretty much whatever I want and working out 5+ days/week. Exercise has really bumped up my metabolism and setting fitness goals helps break the monotony. I do a mix of high-intensity cardio and lifting. I'm never going to have a normal relationship with food, but I'm less likely to overeat if I know that one 100cal mini candy bar = 100 burpees I did earlier.
That said, if you are older than me you may not be able to get away with eating sugar and junk food like I do and still maintain. I'll enjoy it while it lasts...4 -
I hit maintenance back in May, but I'm struggling. I'm still having to track and weigh almost daily or I'll creep up a lb or two. I just feel like I'm on one super, long endless diet. The maintenance level of calories for me feels like deprivation for sure. I know it helps when I load up on the protein, but this is not fun, nor enjoyable. Is it worth it to look and feel slim, sure, but honestly it kind of sucks. What helped you adjust to the long term lower calorie intake of maintenance? Will I someday be OK with feeling hungry a lot? How long does that take? Is there anything I can do to feel satiated more frequently? Sure, water helps some, but I still have that empty feeling inside and I really miss just being able to eat a fast food meal out occasionally without practically starving myself the rest of the day. I need something sustainable long term without making me feel like I'm dieting forever. Living off salads and grilled chicken is not making me feel super excited inside. Articles or personal experiences are super appreciated.
Maybe @AnnPT77 will come along to link her "increasing NEAT" thread. In general, NEAT accounts for more calories out than intentional exercise, so increasing NEAT may give you a little more to work with. Probably not a life changing amount, though.
The bolded part is the crux of the issue. Some people reach goal weight and learn that they enjoy a better life balance at a higher weight. Maybe that would apply to you? Life is full of puts and takes. Things we want vs. things we want more. Honestly, I absolutely love food and would like to eat more just about every single day. Sometimes I do! But usually I'm aware that I want to feel good in my body more than I want more to eat so I tell myself I'll get more tomorrow. Sometimes it seems like the discipline takes more effort than it should, but it's effort I'm consciously willing to invest in feeling good.
Echoing the other comments about variety. I eat a huge variety of things I love, and I don't resent having to figure out how to make it all fit. It's tons easier to maintain if you love the exercise/activities you do and you love the foods that you eat. I'm not a salad person, either. Hope you find a balance you genuinely enjoy.8 -
Think of it as a lifestyle change, not dieting.
I made a lifestyle change when I went on my weight loss journey...I didn't diet.6 -
Consider this, the Greek origin of diet is diatia, a way of life.8
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I have sustained my loss for almost 3 years now, but I have gone about maintenance a little different than most. I loss 100 lbs from January 11th to September 15th of 2017. Once I reached goal (100 lb loss) I started taking my weekends off. I wouldn't gorge myself, but I ate more freely, no weighing or logging any meals & usually avoiding the scales to weigh myself. First thing Monday morning.. I weigh myself and get right back to my healthier choices. This method has basically kept me in a weight loss mode of sorts as when I weigh frist thing Monday morning my weight has usually shifted up some (it can go up anywhere from 2 to 6 lbs just from the weekend) but it is right back in my 'comfort zone' by Wednesday/Thursday. From Sept 2017, I would take off most every weekend until COVID. Since we were home more, I found myself staying the course even over the weekends here and there. I have taken extended time off (the latest being 9 consecutive days - August 1st through 9th while we were camping at the lake). Yeah, my weight shifted up some, but no more than it does over a weekend. We relaxed a lot, but managed to get right much swimming, some walking and a little biking in which obviously helped. I think there will always be a fear of 'going back', but it has decreased a little over time. I made lifestyle changes and I know for a fact that is how I have managed to keep the weight off (and even loss more).
My approach is definitely not the norm. Most folks just increase their 'everyday' calories, decide on a weight they don't want to surpass and if they do, they cut back to get back in their 'sweet spot'. Best of luck with finding the balance now that you've reached your goal and give yourself time to test the waters and find what exactly that means for you as an individual.3 -
@ChelleDee07 - Your transformation is so wonderful...you must be so much happier now!0
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@ChelleDee07 - Your transformation is so wonderful...you must be so much happier now!
I feel 100x better. I'm definitely healthier and yes, happier too. Thank you for that very kind compliment.5 -
I hit maintenance back in May, but I'm struggling. I'm still having to track and weigh almost daily or I'll creep up a lb or two. I just feel like I'm on one super, long endless diet. The maintenance level of calories for me feels like deprivation for sure. I know it helps when I load up on the protein, but this is not fun, nor enjoyable. Is it worth it to look and feel slim, sure, but honestly it kind of sucks. What helped you adjust to the long term lower calorie intake of maintenance? Will I someday be OK with feeling hungry a lot? How long does that take? Is there anything I can do to feel satiated more frequently? Sure, water helps some, but I still have that empty feeling inside and I really miss just being able to eat a fast food meal out occasionally without practically starving myself the rest of the day. I need something sustainable long term without making me feel like I'm dieting forever. Living off salads and grilled chicken is not making me feel super excited inside. Articles or personal experiences are super appreciated.
Maybe @AnnPT77 will come along to link her "increasing NEAT" thread. In general, NEAT accounts for more calories out than intentional exercise, so increasing NEAT may give you a little more to work with. Probably not a life changing amount, though.
The bolded part is the crux of the issue. Some people reach goal weight and learn that they enjoy a better life balance at a higher weight. Maybe that would apply to you? Life is full of puts and takes. Things we want vs. things we want more. Honestly, I absolutely love food and would like to eat more just about every single day. Sometimes I do! But usually I'm aware that I want to feel good in my body more than I want more to eat so I tell myself I'll get more tomorrow. Sometimes it seems like the discipline takes more effort than it should, but it's effort I'm consciously willing to invest in feeling good.
Echoing the other comments about variety. I eat a huge variety of things I love, and I don't resent having to figure out how to make it all fit. It's tons easier to maintain if you love the exercise/activities you do and you love the foods that you eat. I'm not a salad person, either. Hope you find a balance you genuinely enjoy.
This one?
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10610953/neat-improvement-strategies-to-improve-weight-loss/p1
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Eat food you actually enjoy, try and stay active, if you're in the, say, "last 15-10lbs" part of weight loss where progress is slow there's nothing wrong with having diet breaks or just not aiming for a deficit every single day, it's not a race. Personally I'm kinda aiming for -0.5lb per week atm but I'm honestly not bothered if it's half of that or even maintaining since I'm technically normal weight and just trying to get to a middle of the range BMI. Also, you might wanna think about recomp vs lower weight, if that might suit you.
This is just me, but I feel a lot less hungry when I eat my veggie stews (usually throw in some lean meat) and massive salads - it's a lot of food for very little kcal, lots of fibre and protein6 -
While I'm not near maintenance yet, I have done my weight loss entirely with calorie counting, because of Covid's impact on gyms and pools. (I have arthritis which limits my weightbearing exercise.) I'm right now on 1310 and honestly I could live on this for the rest of my life, with occasional small bits of birthday cake. I don't eat huge portions, I'm full when I stand up from the table, and the only point that I'm hungry is usually a nice level of anticipation while I'm actually cooking and plating the food. But I deliberately shrunk my stomach down, and I'm fine with keeping it small for the rest of my life.4
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It's mental. You've been exposed to what it's like to overindulge. Think of having a lot of money all the time. But now you lose 1/3 of the income. Which means you scale back on everything. You can't keep spending the same amount you did before and be comfortable anymore. But you were USED to spending it. So you have to change your mental thinking. You're NOT dieting anymore. You're in a position where you have to adapt to a way of eating that you didn't before.I hit maintenance back in May, but I'm struggling. I'm still having to track and weigh almost daily or I'll creep up a lb or two. I just feel like I'm on one super, long endless diet. The maintenance level of calories for me feels like deprivation for sure. I know it helps when I load up on the protein, but this is not fun, nor enjoyable. Is it worth it to look and feel slim, sure, but honestly it kind of sucks. What helped you adjust to the long term lower calorie intake of maintenance? Will I someday be OK with feeling hungry a lot? How long does that take? Is there anything I can do to feel satiated more frequently? Sure, water helps some, but I still have that empty feeling inside and I really miss just being able to eat a fast food meal out occasionally without practically starving myself the rest of the day. I need something sustainable long term without making me feel like I'm dieting forever. Living off salads and grilled chicken is not making me feel super excited inside. Articles or personal experiences are super appreciated.
Also, I eat fast food a lot. But I know how to control the amount I eat or compensate for eating it ON OCCASION. If anything work on your physical fitness and work harder. Just having better physical fitness helps with burning more calories, even at rest (where you burn the most stored body fat).
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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^
We have to learn how to build the ability to get fit under real life conditions. Life happens to everyone, every single day. It's not about willpower or motivation. It's about skills.
Flip the Switch. Most of this is mental and there's no such thing as the right time to begin or end. Constant starts and stops only builds the skill of pausing, stopping and starting over and over and over again. That keeps you on the endless dieting train to nowhere town.
If weight struggles have been with you for a long time, they're not going away. We can learn management and moderation skills. When you let your feelings drive, drive, drive your behavior it shapes your preferences for the rest of your life. Fat is not a feeling. It's not.
When you establish a dieting career early in life with an endless loop of yoyo dieting it's going to take more than another dieting cycle to Flip the Switch. It may take you 2-5 years. Be willing to invest the time into making your overall health and well being a priority.
How long has this been going on? Example: I'm just an All or Nothing kind of person. Who told you that. Did you observe this in your home growing up. Someone told your family members that and they believed it and you're following through with it. You don't have to.
There's only choices and consequences. You can choose today not to believe any of those old false narratives with all of that dieting dogma that becomes deeply ingrained in the brain. Your brain believes whatever you constantly tell it. You can flip the narrative by gutting it out. Don't let your brain grind you down. Let it eat your dust because you will not be deterred.
Just start doing completely the opposite of what the brain wants. It wants to eat all of things. Measure and moderate. The brain will pout and demand more. If you don't give in, on a one day at a time basis it begins to settle down and get in line with your new way of thinking.
Somesayers say you will always be an All or Nothing kind of person. Only if you keep reinforcing all of that dieting mind warp. You choose to be one. If you are willing to defy the brain, you can change. Slowly and thoughtfully.
Edge your way down slowly. Let the brain pout and throw another baby fit. Retrain your brain. While one side of your brain is pouting on the road to nowhere town the other side is building new neural pathways. You can jump on that train to success town.
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It’s not for everyone but I find a high protein meat and eggs breakfast keeps me full until late afternoon or dinner3
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