Serious/heavy/deep/real stuff

CacoEther
CacoEther Posts: 2,465 Member
Despite the constant frivolity of chitchat, I’m confident there are many who can relate to the feeling of being driven away because their mood doesn’t match the tone here. Chit chat is FULL of funny/light/airy stuff but there’s a gaping hole where serious conversation could be.

And maybe this thread won’t carry conversation at all. Maybe it’ll just be musings. Bare ugly truths to anyone who will listen.

Cries of exhaustion and frustration.

Loneliness.

Or it might bomb entirely and sink to the bottom of the pile, but I hope not. I know I don’t like the feeling of retreating from here when things feel too heavy internally, and lord knows I’ve tried faking a better mood around here many times. Maybe it’s time to get progressive and acknowledge out loud and on paper (this is literally neither of those things but hey) that mental health is serious enough to not suppress or make light of, even in a place where seemingly nothing is off limits.

People leave here all the time because the juxtaposition between their mental state and this place is too unwieldy to manage. I’d like to see more people stay. If this thread could be the start of something helpful, I’d be thrilled.

Alright, that’s all. Participate if you will.
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Replies

  • CacoEther
    CacoEther Posts: 2,465 Member
    slessofme wrote: »
    I have an extremely difficult time deeply connecting with people and will typically drive them away when I feel like they're getting too close to the real me, rather than the person I curate. I can't think of a single person that knows all of me. I felt very protected and safe but I've recently realized how very sad and lonely an existence it seems to be. There's some concern that I'm modeling this for my kids and they will act the same way. I'm increasingly worried that I'm too old, stubborn, and afraid to change my approach to connection.

    But why? Why do you have a hard time letting them get too close?

    Asking because you described me to a T
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,493 Member
    I just always remember the words of Perry Farrell:

    Where the green grass grows there can't be wrong
    And goodness knows, there ain't no right!
    Ain't no wrong now, ain't no right
    Ain't no wrong now, ain't no right
    Only pleasure and pain
    Bumped my head, I'm a battering ram
    Doddamn took the pain
    Cut myself, said "So what?"
    Mother &^%$in' took the pain
    Said "So what?, " I can't be wrong
    I thought so but there ain't no right!
    Ain't no wrong now, ain't no right
    Only pleasure and pain


    alway ask yourself: "So What??"
  • Vikka_V
    Vikka_V Posts: 9,563 Member
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    Vikka_V wrote: »
    I don't let people "know" me - because then they have the ability to "hurt" me.

    I dunno.... everyone's different, however quite some time ago, I decided not to grant permission to anyone to insult me or hurt me.

    Along the same lines of thought, I only value the opinions of those people I know (usually only personally).
    Although, there are a few people, of great reputation, of whom I might trust. Very few.

    How do you keep "feelings" instantaneous "emotion" or "reaction" objective and neutral?


    I trust few too, and care about the opinions of too