Doom, Despair, and Agony on Me! (aka a whine thread)
Replies
-
Oh my goodness @gewel321 - I am so sorry. I don't know how you held it together enough to limit yourself to just a bowl of ice cream. It's the cruelest of ironies, isn't it - you've done everything right to get your body back to health, and still this happens. But know that all your efforts have made your body strong and ready to battle cancer once again. I am just so sorry that you have to. (((Hugs))))2
-
I got some real bad news today. I have been cancer free for 6 year and this morning they found it again. I was in shock and the first thought is I really want some ice cream. Now nothing is off limits in my food plan as long as it will fit but I didn’t want a little. I wanted to hit the sonic and get an extra large blast with butterfinger and caramel. I drank some water. Still wanted To binge. Cried it out with my friends. Still wanted to binge. I made it the whole day and didn’t overeat. I did however have a measured bowl of the new chocolate brownie decadent ice cream blue bell released today. I stayed in my calorie goal.
I still feel drained and miserable and hopeless and I’m allowed to have a day of that. Tomorrow I will get off my pitty party and game plan the next steps. As for my goals they are intact and I will take that as a win!
I am very sorry to read this...please know I am thinking of you and wishing you the best...please take care of yourself...2 -
I got some real bad news today. I have been cancer free for 6 year and this morning they found it again. I was in shock and the first thought is I really want some ice cream. Now nothing is off limits in my food plan as long as it will fit but I didn’t want a little. I wanted to hit the sonic and get an extra large blast with butterfinger and caramel. I drank some water. Still wanted To binge. Cried it out with my friends. Still wanted to binge. I made it the whole day and didn’t overeat. I did however have a measured bowl of the new chocolate brownie decadent ice cream blue bell released today. I stayed in my calorie goal.
I still feel drained and miserable and hopeless and I’m allowed to have a day of that. Tomorrow I will get off my pitty party and game plan the next steps. As for my goals they are intact and I will take that as a win!
You are smart and strong. It takes a lot to hear the news you have received and deal with it so well. I hope your road to recovery goes quickly and as smooth as it can be.2 -
I got some real bad news today. I have been cancer free for 6 year and this morning they found it again. I was in shock and the first thought is I really want some ice cream. Now nothing is off limits in my food plan as long as it will fit but I didn’t want a little. I wanted to hit the sonic and get an extra large blast with butterfinger and caramel. I drank some water. Still wanted To binge. Cried it out with my friends. Still wanted to binge. I made it the whole day and didn’t overeat. I did however have a measured bowl of the new chocolate brownie decadent ice cream blue bell released today. I stayed in my calorie goal.
I still feel drained and miserable and hopeless and I’m allowed to have a day of that. Tomorrow I will get off my pitty party and game plan the next steps. As for my goals they are intact and I will take that as a win!
Very sorry to hear this...your strength comes through in your postings, but I know how hard this is to go through, having personal experience with this....we are here for you.2 -
Today isn’t going to be a great one....I woke up this morning at 7:00 literally hitting the floor....I turned over on my left side and fell off the bed hitting my face and ribs on the hard tile floor....I heard my teeth click against each other...my husband woke up and got a chair for me to climb on and I finally got up...kids didn’t hear me because we are at the opposite end of the house...two hours later my face and side is bruised....I must have hurt my ribs because moving is painful...I am ok but I won’t be swimming today...I am back in bed and I am hungry,frustrated and sore....ugh4
-
@gewel321: I'm so sorry to hear this! I know you must be frightened and angry and feel awful. But you're strong, and I believe in you.1
-
P.S....after being very meticulous with my measuring and weighing of foods and exercising so much. My scales are still stuck back and forth 260 to 259....259 to 260.... last night I caved in and ate some things I should not have...I didn’t binge but I probably ate 1000 to 1200 calories....I had calories banked all week but I am still disappointed in myself...now since I fell and I am in bed resting my boo boos I want to eat....I know it won’t help to eat but I am feeling sorry for myself...sigh1
-
conniewilkins56 wrote: »P.S....after being very meticulous with my measuring and weighing of foods and exercising so much. My scales are still stuck back and forth 260 to 259....259 to 260.... last night I caved in and ate some things I should not have...I didn’t binge but I probably ate 1000 to 1200 calories....I had calories banked all week but I am still disappointed in myself...now since I fell and I am in bed resting my boo boos I want to eat....I know it won’t help to eat but I am feeling sorry for myself...sigh
Connie:
I was in the same place for the last two weeks, before the scale dropped almost 3 lbs. In one day. I ate some fast food earlier this week (McDonalds and Good Times, which didn't make my weight go up, but the old feeling of being bloated and sluggish came back. And I felt like crap. The next morning I got up with a whole new attitude and got with the program....it's like I almost have to screw up occasionally or I don't feel normal...whatever that is.1 -
conniewilkins56 wrote: »P.S....after being very meticulous with my measuring and weighing of foods and exercising so much. My scales are still stuck back and forth 260 to 259....259 to 260.... last night I caved in and ate some things I should not have...I didn’t binge but I probably ate 1000 to 1200 calories....I had calories banked all week but I am still disappointed in myself...now since I fell and I am in bed resting my boo boos I want to eat....I know it won’t help to eat but I am feeling sorry for myself...sigh
Connie:
I was in the same place for the last two weeks, before the scale dropped almost 3 lbs. In one day. I ate some fast food earlier this week (McDonalds and Good Times, which didn't make my weight go up, but the old feeling of being bloated and sluggish came back. And I felt like crap. The next morning I got up with a whole new attitude and got with the program....it's like I almost have to screw up occasionally or I don't feel normal...whatever that is.
I hear you loud and clear...I have been waiting for a good loss all summer....it’s probably the heat,extra exercise,water retention, etc but I have never stayed on track this long and not lost weight...I already know today is a bust because of my fall and being in bed....my ribs hurt so bad and my jaw is turning purple and there is a lump on my temple....so upset with myself...I could go on with other stress food triggers today but I won’t whine more....ugh1 -
@gewel321 I'm so sorry to hear your bad news. Sending hugs and prayers your way.
@conniewilkins56 Ouch. I'm sorry that you hurt yourself.0 -
@gewel321 - that truly, truly sucks. I'm so sorry. I hope you have all the support you need, and I'm sending good thoughts your way.
@conniewilkins56 - ouch!! That must be frustrating - rest up!1 -
Rough end to the week here too.
My work announced the results of the first phase of a massive reorganziation and downsizing yesterday. My boss is out. My boss's boss is out. Another 5 VPs are out. Our department got consolidated with 3 others. We are all in shock. They expect to cut another 5% of all positions before mid-October.
Then to top it off this morning, I got an update on my grandma. She has had a few more significant TIA/stroke events over the last few nights. She is currently disoriented and mostly unresponsive. I'm coming to terms with the fact that I probably won't actually get to speak to her again. I found two older voicemails from her that I never bothered to delete. I haven't listened to them again, but I also can't make myself delete them...just so I have the option hear her voice again at some point.2 -
You should keep the voice messages...I would love to hear my Ya Yas voice again....years ago I had our old home movies put on a tape and threw away the old reels they were made from...I lended the new tape to a relative and they lost it....everytime I think about it I get sad!1
-
@eliezalot I'm really sorry to hear things have worsened and about your workplace getting shuffled around. I second keeping the voice messages. I have a few videos of my late grandfather that my mom sent me while I was out of the country and some birthday voicemails from my dad's mom saved on my phone and backed up in a few other places. I rediscover them every year or so and while the losses can still sting, they help me remember the person they were before dementia instead of their last couple years of life. I'm really glad that I have them and get to share them with my family.3
-
@gewel321I'm so sorry to hear your bad news. Sending good thoughts your way.1
-
Thanks everyone. I took the day off yesterday and reprioritized what I needed to do. I really didn’t want to go to high fitness class this morning but I made my butt get up and go! I feel better after going. I knew I would. Started on my Saturday chores. Laundry, grocery shopping, cleaning. Everyday life still moves on and I will kick this again and when I do I’ll be thinner! Lol8
-
I know that he has mental health issues. I know the particular set of tapes in his head about his weight because I have them too and I had to hunt them down and turn them off. I know the sort of embarassment/anger/shame of reaching for a pair of pants and discovering they don't fit now. And I know that for him this sort of thing resonates and reverberates back and forth for him and is louder and more painful than for the average person, and that he dealt with it about as well as he could.
But darn it, I was looking forward to a day out with my handsome, witty boyfriend and getting him good shoes and having Indian for lunch. It's a lovely day. I wanted to spend it having a good time with him. And I think it's fair that I'm unhappy that I didn't get my day out with him.6 -
My grandma passed away this morning. Knowing it was coming sure doesn't make it any easier. Fortunately she was at home until the end and comfortable, and my mom and aunt were there with her. I just miss her so much already. I'll be making a trip home in a few weeks for the funeral service, and will hopefully spend an extra week or two at home with family. No idea what we'll do with the cats while we're gone.
It has been a hard day, and now all I want to do is eat until I feel better. I'm trying to distract from the urge to snack by drinking plenty of no-calorie beverages (diet ginger ale, flavored sparkling water, etc...). That usually helps me a lot. I'll definitely be eating at maintenance today - since I haven't had supper and have 8 calories left today. Sigh. I could sure go for a massive plate of chicken alfredo with garlic bread and brownies for dessert. Then some popcorn. And maybe a drink. Oh, and ice cream.
Instead, I'll have another diet ginger ale, keep myself distracted (canning, embroidering) and have some chicken soup for dinner, which should leave me enough calories (below maintenance) for some ice cream for dessert.
Le sigh.13 -
@eliezalot I'm so sorry for your loss. Hugs.4
-
@eliezalot I'm so sorry for your loss. There is nothing that can be said to make this situation better. My thoughts are with your family during this time.4
