The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living
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I have not posted on here in a long time. Quick update. My eldest son (28 yrs) was killed in California Sept 2. We buried him back home in Illinois Sept 15. He left behind 3 young children. My world was turned upside down and I was in a tailspin of depression. Especially drinking. I realized the more I drank the more depressed I was becoming. And I was getting into a serious funk.
I am getting back on track cutting out alcohol, going back to the gym everyday and going to grief counseling sessions. I am feeling better and taking it day by day. But it is hard. I miss him every single day. Just writing this is making me tear up.
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@dbanks80 I would like to extend my deepest condolences on this unimaginable loss. We are here for you.5
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@dbanks80 I have no words to say that could help you. This is the ultimate tragedy. I am very sorry for your loss.5
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Thank you everyone!!!
This year really sucks. My husband and I will make it through. I have my youngest son 26 and I have my 3 grandbabies. My faith in God and so many wonderful friends and family.
They say the grieving of a child takes 5 -10 yrs!! I am praying it doesnt take me that long good grief!!! LOL6 -
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Good morning~ I have a day off today- hooray. Much needed. School has been awfully stressful but the students make me so happy and my heart so content.
Tomorrow will be 5 weeks AF for me. I just keep trudging along. Sometimes, I really resent that I can't drink. Last night, reading my LIVING magazine, there were a lot of fall cocktails, alcohol ads, wine articles, etc. It's not fair. Boo hoo for me. But it is what it is. I just can't have another day 1. That is enough of an incentive to stay away.
Wishing you a peaceful day. It's hard to feel peace during Covid and political angst. It's ok to cry too.
@dbanks80 I think of you and feel so sad for you and your family. Sending you warm hugs and lots of love.6 -
@RubyRed427, I get the resentment about missing out. As much as I am loving my sobriety and don't intend ever to give it up (Today is day 96, so I know I'm just a baby at this game), I don't care what Kate Bee or anybody says . . . an ice cold dry martini can taste mighty wonderful. Thus my fantasy of a once-a-year martini day. But keeping a daily journal really helps with that. Just last night I went back and re-read the whole darned thing starting June 15. There are enough entries about my motivations not to drink and how good I feel not drinking and how bad I felt drinking to more than balance out the "I wish I could have a martini" entries. For me, I'm finding that really yummy alcohol-free substitutes make a big difference.
Oh, my journal also has plenty of entries about the 2020 political and racial upheaval and the pandemic. I'm wondering if my grandchildren will read it as a matter of historical interest in addition to an account of a journey into sobriety. More likely I'll burn it at some point.5 -
Without the support and accountability of my 12 step group (there are a variety out there, not just AA), it would be exceedingly hard for me to stay sober. But knowing I must face them every week and either be AF or a LIAR, helps keep me sober. The first 2 or 3 months were very difficult, but with the help of my "Higher Power" I'm now sober for 3 years. STAY STRONG, IT CAN BE A BEAUTIFUL AND FULFILLING LIFE WITHOUT ALCOHOL.8
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@RubyRed427, I get the resentment about missing out. As much as I am loving my sobriety and don't intend ever to give it up (Today is day 96, so I know I'm just a baby at this game), I don't care what Kate Bee or anybody says . . . an ice cold dry martini can taste mighty wonderful. Thus my fantasy of a once-a-year martini day. But keeping a daily journal really helps with that. Just last night I went back and re-read the whole darned thing starting June 15. There are enough entries about my motivations not to drink and how good I feel not drinking and how bad I felt drinking to more than balance out the "I wish I could have a martini" entries. For me, I'm finding that really yummy alcohol-free substitutes make a big difference.
Oh, my journal also has plenty of entries about the 2020 political and racial upheaval and the pandemic. I'm wondering if my grandchildren will read it as a matter of historical interest in addition to an account of a journey into sobriety. More likely I'll burn it at some point.
I agree- a nice cold martini used to be my refuge and friend. Then, one starting to turn to 3 in a sitting. It was never enough; but I sure did enjoy that first sip!!!!
Look how amazing you are to have started AF living during covid. I think we deserve an extra gold star!
As for your journal of the 2020 political and racial upheaval PLUS the pandemic, there will hopefully be a happy ended for your grandchildren to see. I pray!
I have been taking long facebook breaks. I hate seeing certain posts and they make me boil. I have been on Twitter more and more; Twitter makes me laugh- people have pretty clever tweets. Pence's fly has 40,000 followers and it's pretty funny.
I heard a good quote: "I want to live one day at a time; then die one day at a time."2 -
Without the support and accountability of my 12 step group (there are a variety out there, not just AA), it would be exceedingly hard for me to stay sober. But knowing I must face them every week and either be AF or a LIAR, helps keep me sober. The first 2 or 3 months were very difficult, but with the help of my "Higher Power" I'm now sober for 3 years. STAY STRONG, IT CAN BE A BEAUTIFUL AND FULFILLING LIFE WITHOUT ALCOHOL.
I am still waiting for that beautiful and fulfilling life. I'm at nearly 5 weeks tomorrow. I hope it comes soon (that feeling). Congrats on 3 years. What a blessing! And all your hard work has paid off. Although we are still one day away from "day 1", your post gives me hope.2 -
I have noticed a deep decline in my anxiety these past five weeks. I have not needed to take my emergency Lorizepam at all. When I used to drink, the next day I would have to take one anti nausea pill and a half of a Lorizepam to cope with the anxious feelings.
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RubyRed427 wrote: »Without the support and accountability of my 12 step group (there are a variety out there, not just AA), it would be exceedingly hard for me to stay sober. But knowing I must face them every week and either be AF or a LIAR, helps keep me sober. The first 2 or 3 months were very difficult, but with the help of my "Higher Power" I'm now sober for 3 years. STAY STRONG, IT CAN BE A BEAUTIFUL AND FULFILLING LIFE WITHOUT ALCOHOL.
I am still waiting for that beautiful and fulfilling life. I'm at nearly 5 weeks tomorrow. I hope it comes soon (that feeling). Congrats on 3 years. What a blessing! And all your hard work has paid off. Although we are still one day away from "day 1", your post gives me hope.
I am waiting for this, too. I still cannot shake the craving for the vodka cranberry that I saw the man drinking 2 weeks ago. I am so glad there is no cranberry in this house, bc my husband has vodka. I am not interested in anything else, thank GOD!!! However, I did take a long sniff of my SIL's jack and coke last week... My daughter was like "what the heck are you doing" I replied "smelling... just smelling it" This reminds me that I am not yet in control!
Today is day 224. I agree with you that we all deserve a gold star for becoming AF in 2020 -- all inclusive, not just COVID.
Big hugs to all of you!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you for being here!!
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RubyRed427 wrote: »Without the support and accountability of my 12 step group (there are a variety out there, not just AA), it would be exceedingly hard for me to stay sober. But knowing I must face them every week and either be AF or a LIAR, helps keep me sober. The first 2 or 3 months were very difficult, but with the help of my "Higher Power" I'm now sober for 3 years. STAY STRONG, IT CAN BE A BEAUTIFUL AND FULFILLING LIFE WITHOUT ALCOHOL.
I am still waiting for that beautiful and fulfilling life. I'm at nearly 5 weeks tomorrow. I hope it comes soon (that feeling). Congrats on 3 years. What a blessing! And all your hard work has paid off. Although we are still one day away from "day 1", your post gives me hope.
I am waiting for this, too. I still cannot shake the craving for the vodka cranberry that I saw the man drinking 2 weeks ago. I am so glad there is no cranberry in this house, bc my husband has vodka. I am not interested in anything else, thank GOD!!! However, I did take a long sniff of my SIL's jack and coke last week... My daughter was like "what the heck are you doing" I replied "smelling... just smelling it" This reminds me that I am not yet in control!
Today is day 224. I agree with you that we all deserve a gold star for becoming AF in 2020 -- all inclusive, not just COVID.
Big hugs to all of you!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you for being here!!
I think that's a good strategy; don't keep the triggers/drinks you love in the house. I had to buy a bottle of wine yesterday to take to a party for the host today. It is sitting in my trunk of my car; I actually forgot about it til now.
Nothing wrong with smelling the drink. That made me smile. But the good thing is you didn't drink it. Keep on going! Let's see how long we can go.
I am going to a football outdoor party later. I am armed with a big bottle of Perrier and one bottle of 00 Heineken (no alcohol) just in case I have a hankering for a beer. I know some may say this is a slippery slope but for me it works. It does not trigger me. We all do what's best for us.4 -
Good AF substitutes, including AF versions of alcoholic drinks, are a favorite topic on the Sober School forum. I love having the option of AF beer and the AF stout that I think tastes just like Guinness. I may be wrong but I think AA frowns on these. For me, they have been a positive and fun support.
I’m rereading Clare Pooley’s Sober Diaries now that I can relate more to her first hundred days. She relied on Beck’s Blue, which is my favorite too.4 -
@donimfp ~ AA only has a 10% success rate...most people stop drinking on their own or with other methods so if AF subs work for you & don't trigger you, "You GO girl!!" It's all individual...no one-way fits all
@RubyRed427 I love your post about anxiety...it is so true that whatever feelings we are trying to temporarily escape through alcohol will come back to bite us in the butt and bring some other friends in for the party eg depression. I'm glad that you are noticing the decline in your anxiety...that is another huge benefit.
Sounds like everyone is doing great. We have a long weekend here in Canada...Thanksgiving! So I have 2 days mostly off, I had a lovely solitary day off today and have one wee one-hour job tomorrow and then a walk in the park with my senior puppy. and whatever else the day holds.
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I am very socially awkward, so I used alcohol as a way to loosen up. Became a big binge drinker, parties every weekend. I got fat and miserable. Finally decided I'm done with that life. Alcohol free since labor day.13
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In the past when I lost weight my alcohol consumption went right up, I even took up smoking. I've got a really addictive personality and while food is normally my crutch it will just switch to other vices. I did Dry January this year to support my husband who was doing it and then I just stuck with it. I'm happy about that now as I've finally decided to really try and shift the weight and I won't have this looming over me.
All that said, 2020 was a *kitten* of a year to have given up drinking.9 -
Welcome to the new faces! We are glad you are with us on this journey. RubyRed, I totally agree about the anxiety. That drink is SO not worth what is sure to follow! Weird trigger that has never happened to me' before: I was taking a walk and passed a neighbors recycling bin with a wine bottle in it. You would think, surrounded by trash, that this would have disgusted me. Instead it make me want some wine! I pushed through it though.
I'm on the fence about the NA beer. Last time I quit drinking, then started again, it DID start with some NA beer. So, I am being cautious about that. I just have such an addictive personality. BUT obviously it is far better than the real thing, for us anyway.6 -
Celebrating Day 100!11
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