Serious/heavy/deep/real stuff

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Replies

  • CacoEther
    CacoEther Posts: 2,465 Member
    @jjpptt2 wrote: »
    I think I project my own *kitten* on others way way WAAAAAY more than I realize, to the point where I almost feel like I'm in a house of mirrors and have no point of reference for what's legit and what are my own projections/assumptions.

    “I’m not projecting, YOU’RE projecting!”

    I feel your comment. Especially online I struggle with it
  • MaltedTea
    MaltedTea Posts: 6,286 Member
    CacoEther wrote: »
    @jjpptt2 wrote: »
    I think I project my own *kitten* on others way way WAAAAAY more than I realize, to the point where I almost feel like I'm in a house of mirrors and have no point of reference for what's legit and what are my own projections/assumptions.

    “I’m not projecting, YOU’RE projecting!”

    I feel your comment. Especially online I struggle with it

    You could ask, no? Maybe something like, "Is this a 'Me Thing,' a 'You Thing,' or an 'Everybody Thing?'"

    Most folks in one's circle - who are more than polite company - may offer something along the lines of a "Yea, bro; same!" because we're not all that different after all...it's just that our levels of vulnerability are set up different.
  • cowsfan12
    cowsfan12 Posts: 6,029 Member
    MaltedTea wrote: »
    CacoEther wrote: »
    @jjpptt2 wrote: »
    I think I project my own *kitten* on others way way WAAAAAY more than I realize, to the point where I almost feel like I'm in a house of mirrors and have no point of reference for what's legit and what are my own projections/assumptions.

    “I’m not projecting, YOU’RE projecting!”

    I feel your comment. Especially online I struggle with it

    You could ask, no? Maybe something like, "Is this a 'Me Thing,' a 'You Thing,' or an 'Everybody Thing?'"

    Most folks in one's circle - who are more than polite company - may offer something along the lines of a "Yea, bro; same!" because we're not all that different after all...it's just that our levels of vulnerability are set up different.

    I like your insight on things -

    d4reizwi2c7o.gif
  • jjpptt2
    jjpptt2 Posts: 5,650 Member
    edited October 2020
    MaltedTea wrote: »
    CacoEther wrote: »
    @jjpptt2 wrote: »
    I think I project my own *kitten* on others way way WAAAAAY more than I realize, to the point where I almost feel like I'm in a house of mirrors and have no point of reference for what's legit and what are my own projections/assumptions.

    “I’m not projecting, YOU’RE projecting!”

    I feel your comment. Especially online I struggle with it

    You could ask, no? Maybe something like, "Is this a 'Me Thing,' a 'You Thing,' or an 'Everybody Thing?'"

    Most folks in one's circle - who are more than polite company - may offer something along the lines of a "Yea, bro; same!" because we're not all that different after all...it's just that our levels of vulnerability are set up different.

    I don't really have a circle (I have little patience for people, and even less interest)... so I'm talking mostly about what I observe/hear/read... information, behaviors, motivations, trends, etc.
  • CacoEther
    CacoEther Posts: 2,465 Member
    ReenieHJ wrote: »
    Watching someone grieve just an inch at a time, not being given the opportunity of getting it fully out during a specified timeframe)whether that's a month, a week, a year), but each stage of physical/mental change brings more grief watching new decreases in ability to live, remember, enjoy life the way it used to be....all while trying to take care of someone. And take care of themselves too? That's something that just doesn't get done. And what's there to look forward to at the end of all of it?
    Nothing.

    I wish I had faith.

    Nothing more cruel than the Long Goodbye 💔
  • CacoEther
    CacoEther Posts: 2,465 Member
    CacoEther wrote: »
    ReenieHJ wrote: »
    Watching someone grieve just an inch at a time, not being given the opportunity of getting it fully out during a specified timeframe)whether that's a month, a week, a year), but each stage of physical/mental change brings more grief watching new decreases in ability to live, remember, enjoy life the way it used to be....all while trying to take care of someone. And take care of themselves too? That's something that just doesn't get done. And what's there to look forward to at the end of all of it?
    Nothing.

    I wish I had faith.

    Nothing more cruel than the Long Goodbye 💔

    True. I'm currently watching this happen with my grandmother. Her Alzheimer's is slowly progressing to the point where she can no longer remember us, thinks we're strangers all meant to harm her and she is starting to believe she is much younger than she is and that certain life events never happened (for her).

    I watched this happen already with my other grandmother a few years ago. It was slow, cruel and in the end? She became a person I never recognized and never thought existed. She was hateful, somewhat racist and just in general a completely different person. And when she left, I saw the hole left by her absence in both our extended family and in my dad's heart. The only "good" thing at the end was that it was over. But nothing was gained from her death outside of memories.

    That is crushing that you already watched it happen once and have to go through it again, I’m so sorry for you all
  • ElTriste1973
    ElTriste1973 Posts: 234 Member
    ReenieHJ wrote: »
    I'm not the praying type but do occasionally ask for special. :( Today is one of those days. My BIL is undergoing surgery this a.m. Their 54th anniversary is coming in 5 days. Please let them see the day, together, alive, awake, and at least partially smiling.
    My sister had no clue what decision would be the best. But then the surgeon told her if they did nothing, he probably wouldn't last the week. If they operate he'd be more comfortable; time is still no guarantee. But it wasn't anyways.

    Argh.

    I hope all goes well, it is very difficult I know from experience. Sending prayers and best wishes too.
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,440 Member
    ReenieHJ wrote: »
    I'm not the praying type but do occasionally ask for special. :( Today is one of those days. My BIL is undergoing surgery this a.m. Their 54th anniversary is coming in 5 days. Please let them see the day, together, alive, awake, and at least partially smiling.
    My sister had no clue what decision would be the best. But then the surgeon told her if they did nothing, he probably wouldn't last the week. If they operate he'd be more comfortable; time is still no guarantee. But it wasn't anyways.

    Argh.

    sending well wishes and positive thoughts that you get the outcome you would like.. 🙏
  • CacoEther
    CacoEther Posts: 2,465 Member
    ReenieHJ wrote: »
    I'm not the praying type but do occasionally ask for special. :( Today is one of those days. My BIL is undergoing surgery this a.m. Their 54th anniversary is coming in 5 days. Please let them see the day, together, alive, awake, and at least partially smiling.
    My sister had no clue what decision would be the best. But then the surgeon told her if they did nothing, he probably wouldn't last the week. If they operate he'd be more comfortable; time is still no guarantee. But it wasn't anyways.

    Argh.

    Thinking of you all.. let us know if he comes through ok?
  • MaltedTea
    MaltedTea Posts: 6,286 Member
    @ReenieHJ 🙏🏿

    You've been going through a lot this month. So glad you're able to share here. We got you.