The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living

I hope everyone had a great weekend. Mine was ok. I went out to dinner with hubby and drank 3 glasses of wine then went a bought more wine so Saturday was not good for me. There is a small victory normally when I binge I continue to drink on Sunday and eat like crap. But I didn't drink on Sunday so I was able to get up this morning and go to my Alpha Strength class.

Hello all, just thought I'd pop in again. I just came back to MFP after gaining some covid weight. It seems I've been finding comfort in food and it's time I get a handle on it. I wanted to thank all of you SO much for being at the start of my journey almost 2 years ago. Today, I am just one week shy of 1 year and 10 months sober!!! I couldn't have done it without this group. Many hugs and understanding vibes out to the newbies. It's toughest in the beginning and I understand the struggle. I had more day 1's than I can count, but keep trying. If I can do it, so can you. One day at a time.

Well done @MountainLaurel787 and good to see you.

I took a selfie on July 6, first day of Sober School and my last Day 1, as Kate asked us to. Then I took one on August 16, 6 weeks later. I took another at week 12 and another yesterday at the 18 week mark. Steady improvement but yesterday’s and the first one almost look like 2 different people. Encouraging and a bit horrifying at the same time. I showed my husband and he was shocked. I guess alcohol can gradually take a physical toll without our noticing. And without those who see us daily noticing.

I don't have advice, @Beka3695, but I want to say I'm so sorry you are going through this. 255 days is HUGE, and it sounds like the sobriety obviously has helped you think clearly. I feel sure that living in your truth can only lead eventually to positive things, but I'm sorry you have to go through this difficult transition time. I'm thinking of you.

Beka3695 wrote: »

Time to vent:

I am 255 days sober. I am very proud of myself. As you know, I live between my daughters home in Florida where I nanny my grandson and my permanent home in Georgia. My husband is also an alcoholic.

When I was home last week he went less than 24 hrs dry and went into detox. He was pitiful and miserable. He had a seizure from detox. It lasted a full 2 minutes and was the scariest thing I have ever seen. I was on the phone with 911 when he came out. He refused treatment. The next day, I told him that I would stay and help him, but he had to check himself into rehab. He refused and I came back to Florida.

Has becoming sober wrecked anyone else’s marriage? About 2 mos into sobriety I realized that +75% of my drinking was to put up with his drinking. Sadly, I have now lost any love I have for him. We are doing a major home reno due to a water loss and once it is complete I am planning to ask for a divorce. I know it is the best thing for me and my recovery.

Any advice?

Beka, I am truly sorry for what you are going through. It's hard enough to stay sober during good times, but during these heartbreaking times with your husband, you are still rocking it!!

From what I have seen in my family ( a bunch of alcoholics).... If a person does not want to change or become sober, the spouse has to decide if this is how he/she wants to live for the rest of their life. Being married to an alcoholic is unbelievably tough. It can wreck so many lives.

I think your heart knows what is best for you. We all have that inner voice that speaks to us. It's that gut feeling that we often push away. I know you will make the right decision for you.

My husband (ex) was a daily drinker- probably always topped off. Beer after work, wine with dinner, and two scotches to end the night. As I strove to become sober, he would always say "good for you Ruby, you should stay alcohol free" but all the while, pouring himself another scotch. I felt NO support from him. That is not why I divorced him but it made me quite sad. Like I was sprinting uphill all alone.

Perhaps, you can talk to an addiction counselor. I find counselor have so many experiences with patients, they know what the odds are that your husband will quit or not quit. You probably know that already if he will ever want to quit.

I am not telling you what to do, just brainstorming and telling you what I have experienced.
We are here for you. We are rooting for you. Your health and happiness matter!

RubyRed427 wrote: »

@Beka3695 I thought it was interesting you said "your sobriety wrecked the marriage."
Please don't blame yourself for everything. I'm sure he had a big part in that as well.

You are right...it was wrecked before. My sobriety gave me the clarity to see just how wrecked.

2 years ago we began counseling and went for over a year till the therapist retired. I was still drinking during most of this time so alcohol was not the top of the list of issues.

Thank you all for letting me get this off my chest. Things are changing on a daily basis. I feel like I am just holding on for the ride.

This is what needs to happen.