The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living
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I'm at 120 days today! 4 months
Who would'a thought??? Honestly, Saturday was the worst, truest craving I've had the whole time for alcohol. I made it through it though! I was sad because of my cat, depressed in general... and the thought of wine sounded SO good. Just to slip into my little oblivion... but I didn't and Sunday was great. No hangover, got up early, had a great day... what a difference a day makes!
Stay strong everyone!
@becka3695
I've been working on acceptance and my reactions to situations as well. It's tough but with enough practice, it will come naturally to us!6 -
@joelann10 and all you guys, thank you for your condolences. The house seems a little empty today without Hendrix, but it was the right thing to do.
"What a difference a day makes!" SO true. One of the many good things about keeping a journal is reading back through it to get insight from myself. There are many entries, especially in early days, saying things like, "Why the kitten am I doing this? I want a drink. There's no point to this," etc., etc. Invariably, the very next day's entry says something like, "Whew! That was a close one. I have no desire to drink today and am glad I didn't yesterday." The lesson to myself is . . . just wait ONE more day and see how you feel.8 -
@donimfp Sweet Hendrix! I am sure he lived such a beautiful life with you; my sympathies to you and your family.
As for eating a lot, I am eating too much. During my AA meeting, there was a lady from overeaters anon. She says she binges with food. She also mentioned maybe some people who have problems with alcohol, also have problems with food. It dawned on me that maybe my brain is all about binging- Food sometimes, alcohol, probably drugs If I ever took them, which I didn't. I think my brain has a faulty off switch with food and alcohol.
I'm in a slump this year with food - trying to stay sober at any costs.
A few years ago, I had no trouble eating properly and losing 27 pounds.
@Beka3695 I can relate to your recent Saturday food binge. Just focus on today- New day. Hope today brings you some peace.
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@donimfp - you are so stron you can do it, I think your right some of us just skip from one thing to another it's so hard.
@Beka3695 - Saturday was just one day, you can always come back from it.
@joelann10 - Your so inspiring!
@Rubyred427- Thanks for your support
I finally feel I am on the right forum where no one criticises me.
So today will be day 6 but last night I gave in and had 1 small drink, I know I should go back to day1 but I think if I do go back to day 1 again it will be my downfall and I will just fail so I am going to log it but consider it just a blip and not add it but learn from it.
It's been really hard lately, I pulled my back 2 weeks ago and have been in agony since, I am used to back pain as I had a fall and my back and hip always hurt but not like this, so I went to the physio who gave me exercises to do but he said the main problem was the arthritis in my back lol!
Not seeing my mum who has server dementia ,and is bedridden in a home miles away has added to stress,
then finally I had a phone call telling me my only friend of 35 years has a bleed on the brain and will not come out of hospital hence the lapse.
To be honest I feel better sharing normally I bottle things up,
The plus is since stoping my heart rate has gone down from 70 - 90 to 55 - 65 and stress levels showing low so the alcohol definitely pushed them up.
Take care everyone
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To everyone struggling with food, I feel ya. Still, it is far better than drinking. Let's cut ourselves some slack this week...it is Thanksgiving here in the US after all, and many of us will be dining without our families. If you eat an extra piece of pie, don't beat yourself up. I know I won't.7
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@annliz23, as far as I'm concerned, counting days is just a tool. If you like it, use it. If not, don't. So you get to choose how you count your days, and I can totally see how not starting the count over because of one small blip would be more motivating than starting over. Anyway, it's your count. You get to make the "rules." No "count police" on this forum, for sure.
Hope everyone is ready for a nice Thanksgiving, whatever form it takes this crazy year!7 -
@FeelinFooFoo , I’ve found a few AF beers that I think are delicious. I have yet to find an AF wine worth drinking. If you find one, please share the info.
It’ll be a first AF holiday season for me and a lot of us. Strategizing is no doubt a good idea!6 -
Autocorrect wanted “stargazing “. Might be another good idea.4
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Lots of reading to catch up with all you gabby gals LOL It is wonderful to see SO much activity in this group. I have read a couple of pages but have a couple more to go from last time I signed in here. WELCOME to all the newbies
@FeelinFooFoo thank you for the link to that updated video. I haven't watched the entire video...I've had lots of stuff going on, but I will soon.
@Rubyred427 It is so sad to hear about your cousin's decline and I can feel for both he and his wife...this is such a hard road they are on. I've been in the wife's position many years ago married to an alcoholic and although the years & distance have softened the pain of that "other" life, I still can recall the stress, anxiety, anxious worry, feelings of helplessness and desire to control the uncontrollable. I'm sure that observing your cousin's current choices is like watching a train wreck in slow motion. It was interesting when I read your account and your cousin referred to his wife as controlling, he's likely correct. That is what happens when someone you love is out of control!! I'm not diagnosing your cousin's wife as codependent, but that goes with the territory of living with an addict. At least that is the effect it had on me. In fact, I was likely primed for codependency before I even met my ex husband. THEN after all was said & done I developed my own drinking issue and it's ALL about control...whether you are the drinker or the loved one of the drinker it's about trying to control the pain. If I remember correctly you had gotten your own copy of The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie and she also has written several books on codependency...In fact her Letting Go book is a compilation of much of her writings re: codependency. It was in part her writings that started my healing journey. I hope your cousins wife is able to find her focus and shift it from your cousin's issue...it's such a heartache.
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Hi @lorrainequiche59 Yes, I bought the Art of letting go. I must find that and revisit it. And yes, I agree , my cousin's wife is codependent. I see that now. And the more he drinks, the more controlling she gets. She is so frightened and wants her old life back with him. It's a vicious circle.
@FeelinFooFoo Once in awhile I drink a Heineken OO and it tastes just like a real Heinenken. The difference is I only have one and have no desire for more. It does not and has not triggered me personally. Just like @donimfp I have not found a good AF wine. I have tried. I'd like to know if yours tastes good.
@annliz23 I would not start counting over. You have come so far. No need to start over. Everyone has their own "rules" for themselves. My sister's rule is if she's 99% sober most of the year, then it's a good year.
I happen to be counting days to get that AA three month coin that I want! LOL We all have our own way of measuring how we are doing. So no worries- don't start over. Do what works for you.
@joelann10 Four months!! Way to go!
@JenT304 Sorry your table will be missing one special daughter - but maybe you guys can face time and celebrate in your own way.
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Hello Everyone! Happy Wednesday!
@JenT304 = I feel the same way. I am not going to beat myself up over food for the next couple days. It's the Holiday and honestly I would normally consume 700+ calories in alcohol each day. Without alcohol, I think I can make room for some pie!
@FeelinFooFoo = My husband likes to have the AF beer too. He really enjoys it especially with Pizza. I think his favorite is Coors. I'm afraid it will trigger me so I haven't even tasted it. I don't want to risk anything throwing me off track at this point.
Honestly, I'm feeling anxious about the holidays without alcohol. It'll be a first for us. But, I know if I just stick to my program, hit some zoom meetings, stay busy and I'm planning on staying away from people drinking around me, I'll make it. One minute, one day at a time. Next year it should be a piece of cake!
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Tonight, I worked out and heard one woman say to her friend, 'I can't wait to have a drink". I thought "not me".
Then, I thought, "mmmm that would be so nice."
As I drove home, I saw a local bar had lots of cars in front. And then I thought that some of those people will have a hangover on Thanksgiving. But not me and us! We have a curfew here, so people are probably drinking early to be home by covid curfew.
Tonight, I'll bake two pumpkin pies. I feel energetic because I worked out. I got a lot done today. All because I didn't drink today or yesterday.
At my parent's house they don't serve wine or alcohol anymore. I think they've noticed my sister and I don't drink anymore. They used to have a bottle of Chardonnay for me and red wine for Dad and Ex husband. *My sobriety has been a slow journey over the last two years but I have not drank on a holiday for quite some time. And Dad doesn't drink his red wine, since it doesn't agree with him (He's 81). So, that's a plus to not have any alcohol during holidays.
p.s. My mom was always such a controlled drinker. She'd pour a glass of wine and leave some behind. I would always marvel at that!4 -
@RubyRed427
All our bars are closed due to covid, so that's a good thing. The liquor store will be hopping tonight though! I usually swim ever day but that got closed down too.
Man, Chardonnay sounds good LOL It does! That's why I'm hunkering down tomorrow with hubby. I'll eat more than I should and be happy with it. I'm sure there will lots of zoom meetings tomorrow. Everyone gathered to get power off the fellowship!
Good for you for realizing how better we will feel in the morning! It's the truth! Have fun baking!4 -
One of my favorite perks of being alcohol free is the extra energy like you said @RubyRed427. I had to drive to Austin (30 miles away) to get a crown this morning— the dental kind. I broke a tooth about a month ago but waited till I was off work. That would’ve been about my limit before. I probably would have come home and had drinks to reward myself for dental bravery. Instead I made a potato casserole, a broccoli casserole, a yummy dip, cut veggies for dip, and pulled out some Thanksgiving-y decorations for our tiny (4-person) meal tomorrow. And cleaned up as I went. I never would have had the energy or stamina to do that while drinking. And I’m not even tired now. It probably took almost 4 months for this energy to show up once I quit drinking. It’s an unexpected blessing!4
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One of my favorite perks of being alcohol free is the extra energy like you said @RubyRed427. I had to drive to Austin (30 miles away) to get a crown this morning— the dental kind. I broke a tooth about a month ago but waited till I was off work. That would’ve been about my limit before. I probably would have come home and had drinks to reward myself for dental bravery. Instead I made a potato casserole, a broccoli casserole, a yummy dip, cut veggies for dip, and pulled out some Thanksgiving-y decorations for our tiny (4-person) meal tomorrow. And cleaned up as I went. I never would have had the energy or stamina to do that while drinking. And I’m not even tired now. It probably took almost 4 months for this energy to show up once I quit drinking. It’s an unexpected blessing!
Happy your crown was successful.
Yes!!! The extra energy and time we now have is crazy! Hours and hours of time and endless energy. Happy Thanksgiving!3 -
Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours. If you are struggling today, I hope you know you are loved by someone. You are appreciated even if you don't hear it often.
Put on some happy music and live in the moment. That's all we have. Cheers! (with seltzer water)5 -
I hope everyone had a lovely Thanksgiving. It was so warm here in Maryland, nearly 70 degrees, which is highly unusual. I ate way too much as I knew I would, but that's OK. I am happy not to be hungover and a sourpuss today. Yesterday when I reflected on what I was thankful for, this community came to mind. It really is heartwarming how we all support and encourage each other here.8
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@JenT304, I agree! And thank you for originally moving us over to Sober Squad.
@FeelinFooFoo, Great for you!!!!! Now that I'm at 145 days, I can say for sure that I was definitely in my 20s last time I went this long AF . . . and I'm 64. That's crazy. It's really fun to be moving into brave new world territory.
My scale went crazy and had me down 1 1/2 pounds this morning. That is hilarious given the feast we had yesterday. I'm sure the rebound will come, but I actually laughed when I saw the number. I was prepared for something very different. Anyway, if that number is to be believed (briefly), that makes 31 lbs. exactly since July 6. I have to give thanks that for the first time in a long time I didn't cringe when I saw the pics from yesterday. Little victories.
Oh, I went crazy and ordered some Ritual Zero AF whiskey and AF tequila. I've never drunk whiskey except for Irish coffee, but I figure if it tastes halfway realistic, an AF Irish coffee could be a nice, warm treat. And as for the tequila, I'm thinking mix with grapefruit and lime juice for a fake margarita. They may both turn out to be a bust, but we'll see. I'm having fun experimenting.8 -
Hello Everyone! Hope all of your Holidays went great! My husband and I stayed home. Ate too much and just chilled out. I did a meditation recovery zoom meeting and then the normal 5pm meeting. All very good. All with people who are just as grateful to be sober as I am. I didn't log my food Thursday or Friday, I gave myself a break. This morning I started again and went for a 15 mile bicycle ride. It was cold but beautiful out. I was really anxious about staying sober over the holiday but we did it! Yahoooo!!10
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Still sober!!!8
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