30lbs to lose... Started AGAIN yesterday (Darn Lockdown Snacking)

thelastnightingale wrote: »

@angelexperiment I think we've all been there when it comes to emotional eating. Food is just such an easy emotional crutch. As soon as we're born, food becomes a source of comfort as much as it is a source of fuel, and we never really stop equating a full belly to total happiness. Trying not to eat our feelings is so, so tricky, but acknowledging we have tendencies towards binging through emotional difficulty can sometimes help us avoid getting into a spiral or perhaps getting back out of one.

There are so many things that are of zero interest to anyone who isn't trying to lose weight and it's nice to have a space to share those thoughts with other people who know the struggle is real! Vent away by all means... we all do. Writing it down can be cathartic!

Are you tracking your macros, or just calories? (Or neither?) I find if my digestive system is not pleased with me it's worth reviewing my recent food diary to see what I've done badly. The answer for me is coffee, but I find coffee to be answer to a lot of things.

@GabiV125 Ha, a diet vacation... I didn't think of it like that. That's a really neat way to frame things, thank you. You gals really are such a tower of support. I need to force myself to post every time I sense myself going off track - the posting keeps me accountable. The thought of guzzling a greasy takeaway is less appealing if I know I'm going to have to 'fess up to it.

Well done on maintaining in the face of such yummy food!

Well I don’t really focus on my macros I keep eye on calories and carbs but try not to overfocus as it can get me depressed or feeling like I’m failing so I loosely focus on the carb aspect too. But focus mainly on my calories and eat “clean” veg protein and that’s mainly it.

My husband and I drove to Raleigh/Durham today to visit with my one daughter. It took a while to get out the door. I had prepped some food first and we brought quite a bit of food with us. Hoping to prevent a grocery run while here.

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Hope everyone is having a great week!

Attempt at sleeping was once again derailed by my sister who woke me up to help her with something. I don't think she understands just how tired I am at the moment, and that I can't sleep during the day like she can. Once I'm up, I'm up, no matter how sleep deprived I am.

Today is now going to be a challenging day to stay within my calories - but I'm going to persevere and see what I can do.

Had some sad news this week - I wasn't close to her, but a young girl in the team adjacent to mine passed away. I liked and respected her, and she was so, so young. (Not Covid. She died from the same thing my much older and much less fit dad is battling, which gives me a whole new level of anxiety.) I'm so desperately sorry for her parents who have just had the absolute worst 2020. How do you get over something like that? Someone so full of potential with a life she hadn't even really started living yet - my heart goes out to her family. She was good at her job, and she was genuinely lovely too.

Really frustrating to get some bizarrely negative feedback from work on projects that went well, but I'm trying to suck it up, because life is short. (See above. It is short.) Apparently, the reality matters not one jot, it's all about perception, but hey, if that's what my bosses really care about, at least I know and I can work on that.

Ughh. Will. Not. Eat. Feelings. Or. Exhaustion.

Bought a couple of gifts for myself for Christmas. If it's going to be a crappy Christmas, I may as well treat myself. Feel quite good about shopping at small retailers, too.

I also have some more volunteering later today, which always cheers me up. I am looking for positives.

@clutterqueen How long has it been since you saw your daughter again? It must be really nice to be together. Well done for being so organised with the food!

@kcd394 I still can't quite believe you're back at work already, but good on you for trying to look after yourself and minimise how much you're pushing your body.

I hope everything is taking better care of themselves than I am, and that goes for our fearless leader too, who I hope is still around, even if she's not actually logged in. Time starts to lose meaning during a pandemic, so one skipped day easily turns into a week and so on... but we're still here when you want to wander back!

@kcd394 Glad to see you are still being patient with yourself and not overdoing so much. Hopefully, your Mom will kick Covid soon. Yea for Grandma feeling better. So cool she got sense of taste and smelling back just in time for her birthday. I hope she got to enjoy some yummy birthday cake!
I hope you are having better sleep at night!!

@thelastnightingale So sorry to hear about your coworker! Losing someone you know always makes us out everything else in perspective, doesn’t it....at least for a while anyway. Glad you are trying not to eat your feelings! So hard!
I’m trying not to eat mine today as well. My Mom lives in Assisted Living. Just found out today they have 20 residents test positive for Covid. I knew they’d had 5 on Monday. And now more. So hard not to be able to control things!

I’m so glad you are treating yourself to a couple of nice things! You deserve it!

I know it’s frustrating when good work goes unappreciated and bosses focus on the wrong things! Don’t let it get you down!

Get some good sleep!!

@GabiV125 I’m sorry to hear your shoulder is acting up again! That’s no fun! Especially when it keeps you from sleeping! What’s up with the burning feet? Has that happened before?

What an in opportune time for the bake function to go out! You’re lucky to still have the convection part working. Now you’re food will be ready faster! I like the combination of just Turkey and then favorites. Sounds like some healthy favorites too! Enjoy!

Enjoying time at my daughter’s. It’s only been 3 weeks since I saw her last. Since she’s battling depression ( which is very new, only since pandemic and social isolation) I’ve not gone too long without visiting. Have to lay my eyes on her!

Today:

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@thelastnightingale - would be nice to switch to preserve mode when tired, but I’m afraid most people don’t. I get overly talkative and dramatic- see my last post. 5 hours is not a lot, but after a string of bad nights they make you feel like you landed on the moon. I hope next time you get more, like 7 or so.
I absolutely love your thankful reasons list and would need to dig deep for a similar one.
To make the list is one the advices I see everywhere for bringing us in the moment, out of the sadness and more, but never started it.

I had a good and quiet day today-moderate lunch, one drink, one desert and several hours around a new puzzle with my girls.

@clutterqueen I'm doing a lot of work with schools at the moment to help high schoolers learn how to run a business and to also deliver career talks. I did do this sporadically pre-pandemic, but all the schools here have started using videoconferencing technology now, which means I'm able to volunteer online, and actually, volunteer in parts of the UK I wouldn't have travelled to before, because I previously only agreed to see schools that were within an hour of where I live. Silver linings!

The teachers I have been working with are amazing. I cannot believe how friendly and upbeat they are in the face of having to educate all their pupils in person! They are absolute heroes.

A lot of the volunteer work I usually do has been stopped due to the pandemic (mostly to protect the volunteers), so it's nice to still have something nice I can do. The high schoolers get a lot out of it.

I am thinking about Christmas too, and how I am going to handle that. I suppose Thanksgiving is in a way, a trial run for what always turns into several weeks of people wanting to overindulge in December. I've found getting back on track is really hard, but what helps me is trying to get more sleep (it helps better regulate my appetite) and committing to myself to posting here. If I fall off the wagon and I stop talking to people about what I'm doing, then I start to spiral. If I admit out loud (or written down) that I've eaten too much, I feel more determined to sort myself out, because I want to then be able to tell you all that I've done that.

@GabiV125 It can be exhausting trying to dig deep, but if you can make the time, it does make you feel better/more positive. There's just so much bad stuff happening right now that you have to really concentrate to remember what you're actually thankful for.

I agree with @clutterqueen - sounds like a lovely, relaxing, low-key day! Glad you're all getting some family time. You don't have to be doing anything interesting or energetic - just being under the same roof and getting to exchange a hug or do is pretty much an ideal holiday. Hopey you all feel recharged after that.

6 and a quarter... I'm inching closer to that magic 7! I'm going to force myself to get between 7 and 8 at the weekend. If I wake up early, I'm forcing myself back to sleep, and I'm going to try not to have a lie-in. The key I think is going to be to try to train myself to have a similar amount of sleep every day.

@angelexperiment How was your Thanksgiving?

Hello- I looked at my last 4 days as planned and I overate in 2 but exercised the other 2 and sleep was after the same pattern -2 off. The scale stayed unmoved the last 5 days, weirdly.
For me this was the first holiday when I can truly say I worked on bringing my head in the game. I’m sure I learned something and for Christmas I will try to apply my new wisdom 😁
I know there is no horse, but still, let’s trot some.

Made it thru the day without going over. Phew! Tomorrow I will go over though. I still think it’s important to have planned days to go over to practice getting back on track the very next day. Still hard for me!

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@clutterqueen Well done on getting through the day. Getting back on track can be hard, but we know you can do it. You're so focussed and determined and you want this enough to make yourself do it. We know you've got this.

Something I will say as a serial volunteer... It's OK to take a break (whether temporary or permanent) from helping strangers and/or donating money to charities. Just because you've been amazing in the past doesn't mean you have to keep that up if your circumstances change. It's OK to pass the baton onto other people, and for them to pick up the slack.

I hope you've had an easy day full of fond memories of a very special man. Time doesn't make the loss any easier, it only gives you more practice at pretending that it is. Here's to your dad. And to you, for that matter - I'm sure he would be proud of his legacy.

Hi Barb V, Gabi V here ( and the numbers are my birthday-not very imaginative, right?) . I had my Fitbit for years and never been on their forums and then MFP, easily close to 2 years until I stepped in. I’m saying this because I treated the naming as a step that was slowing me down from logging in , so I can start losing.

Glad your day turned out well, and you got the sense of peace after going to Ronald McDonald’s House. I agree with your husband and @thelastnightingale, your dad would be proud - seriously, we are proud. I read more than once the past posts here, when I fell like laying down, all the way down.
Nice job at the doctor, that sounds fantastic, for the ones telling you to be healthy, to be impressed how seriously you take your health!

@thelastnightingale - it’s amazing to me when I hear what very creative solutions to problems, were found in pandemic - like your online volunteering. My kids are not little, and I know that I have no idea how hard must be for parents of little kids, but we have worries too. My oldest graduates college in May and she is doing that last “mile”, from distance, worrying about near future. Last 6 months were the busiest, but also we had the most fun.
And you chose to talk to them, the almost adults, who have million questions and no idea how to ask them, and help them . Pretty awesome!
@kcd394 - how are you, how do you feel?