The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living
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Good morning friends! Day 85 of sobriety - slept long and hard. Sleep definitely improves when you are sober. But my sleep may be better also because of the hormones I am on. The hormones have completely diminished hot flashes and all the other menopause symptoms.
Was reading from the Big Book. It says, "All os us felt at times we were regaining control, but such intervals - usually brief-were inevitable followed by less control, which led in time to pitiful incomprehensible demoralization. "
I highlighted that a few years ago and it is so true. I'm so happy we don't have to negotiate with ourselves how much we'll drink, how we will drink water in between, pour out half the bottle so you don't drink it. All the tricks we tried. It was so exhausting.
I know we all feel we gained more hours in a day. Isn't it crazy how much we can get done.
I was reading an article about Tommy Lee who used to drink 2 gallons of vodka a day. 2 gallons! He is sober now for two years. He said he doesn't know if he'll be sober forever, but today he won't be drinking vodka.
Happy you're all doing well! And if anyone has stumbled, please don't hesitate to share that with us. We can help you feel better. We all have stumbled so many times.
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I love reading and learning about how the brain works. Here is a good video on Dopamine Detox. Around 5 min. mark, he speaks about alcohol.
https://youtu.be/9QiE-M1LrZk
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Yesterday when I was shopping, I saw little napkins that said, "Happy Alcoholidays!" I swear, it is not only everywhere, but continually glorified. when you stop to think about it, even if you are a drinker, do you really want your 6 year old niece or nephew asking you what that means at your holiday gathering? There were also magnets that said, "I don't understand what a wine stopper is for." This actually made me laugh, albeit ruefully, as I have said the same thing in the past.6
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Yes! We did it!!! (and if you didn't, no worries . . . today is a completely new day). I'm looking forward to getting back to the work routine tomorrow, but then it's only 3 short weeks to the Christmas/winter vacation. For those of us in the U.S., I guess we're lucky to have this "practice holiday" before that one.
I thoroughly enjoyed my holiday, with a few brief, socially distanced and masked visits from loved ones. I was out of my fake cocktails (Curious Elixirs), so made do with my new concoction of POM plus grapefruit juice plus sparkling water. It's festive looking and not too sweet. I really do still rely on my substitutes. This morning, the AF whiskey and tequila have arrived. Even if it's AF, I'm not going to try out either one in the morning! But I'll let y'all know how the Irish coffee goes after this afternoon's tree decorating.
Congratulations, everyone. Enjoy this holiday wind-down. 21 weeks for me today (147 days). I'm really grateful for my sobriety. It makes everything better, once the very hard bits are over.5 -
Foo Foo, being alcohol free has really reduced my anxiety a lot . . . UNTIL just recently I get hit with anxiety as I try to go to sleep. It's a bummer. But I totally attribute it to this crazy pandemic. All kinds of folks are experiencing this. I can't help but think it would be even worse with booze.5
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My anxiety does not happen often but it still does. So, I take a Half of lorizapam when I really need it which is maybe twice in a month. It takes the edge off. But overall, much less anxiety. Maybe in your second month it will taper off even more. @FeelinFooFoo
@donimfp Last night, I felt so anxious I could not fall asleep but the previous week I slept well. I think it does occur when I feel very overwhelmed with pandemic and school.1 -
@FeelinFooFoo I love that app! I like seeing your calendar month with all those teacups!2
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I agree. We experience anxiety for a reason. And if we ever had a reason...2020 is it. Booze helps anxiety and bad whatever go away...for a few hours...but it always comes back worse. There are several theories and sites for breathing techniques to help sleep. Here's one. https://www.healthline.com/health/breathing-exercises-for-sleep#guidelines.3
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Hi All! Anxiousness! Argh! I get it too. It was bad at first but I'm 127 days deep and it is so much less now. I have trouble sleeping and have been on sleeping meds for probably 20 years, it helps a lot. I also put in earphones and listen to Jack Kornfield: A Path With Heart or Meditation for Beginners. I set the timer in the audible app for 30 minutes. It helps A LOT to sleep. I also just found Jack Kornfields Podcasts on Audible... There are 119 of them. I've been listening to those when I go shopping or walking. Anyways ladies! Have a great night! Sleep tight!6
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In one of the podcasts today he said, and I'm paraphrasing, For every one horrible or mean thing that is shown on the news ... at the same time a billion acts of kindness happened. They just werent televised.
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In August, I got standard annual blood tests. Cholesterol was high at 132 but that's also hereditary. My daughter who weighs 105 lbs has high cholesterol. But also my liver and kidney was flagged- something is off. So, after nearly three months of sobriety, I go the blood tests again.
Cholesterol 185 so that is good but the liver and kidney still flagged. So, I'll get an ultrasound. Doctor says it's probably a polyp on the gall bladder grew. I had a small one in 2014 on my gallbladder.
Ugh! This is so disconcerting because I thought quitting alcohol would help those two organs. But I am no too worried; I'll get an ultrasound and find out what the problem may be.
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I still feel like I’m hanging by a string, but I’m sober.13 -
@Beka3695 9 months of sobriety !! How wonderful it is! Bravo!
It sure beats the alternative- being drunk, anxious and moody. Keep it going!6 -
@RubyRed427
Don't worry about the tests. Deal with it if anything comes of it but in the meantime drinks lots and lots of water. Mine was flagged because my sodium was low, took more renal tests and they gave me some antibiotics. Nothing bad can come from not drinking
If there is something to deal with thank goodness you will be able to do it sober and with sober organs! Praying for a good outcome for you. 6 -
In one of the podcasts today he said, and I'm paraphrasing, For every one horrible or mean thing that is shown on the news ... at the same time a billion acts of kindness happened. They just werent televised.
This needs repeating. The "news" is hardly worthy of the term. Why feed anxiety and pessimism when I have plenty of that already?
I've been binging on a few different YouTube channels where, among other things, acts of kindness and humanity appear regularly (Check out Itchy Boots -- a woman who travels via motorcycle all over the world).
584 days, who would've thought it possible?8 -
@Beka3695 That is an amazing accomplishment!
I'm going to put myself out there in the hopes that it might help someone else. I've been lurking here occasionally, while hanging out in Less Alcohol, but after a Thanksgiving incident, I can't trust myself. It's so hard when you've made improvements and are doing well for months with drinking (and thus weight), and then...one day the off switch doesn't work. I hope to figure out how not to want it. And not feel like I'm missing out. And not feel like there's something wrong with me. There is no one in my circle or my husband's family who has this problem. Some drink a little too much sometimes "in the normal way."
Not my way. Not starting out cooking and having some champagne and then puking for 20 hours and being told I couldn't be awakened and that I drank a whole box of wine. He said he didn't even see me do it. I said I didn't even remember doing it. But then realized I didn't drink the whole (little) box of wine--I felt it and it was more than half full and opened the day before. So another mystery. But had I not been drinking and didn't have a history of blackouts, there would be no mystery. No judgement. No guilt. No danger. No embarrassment.9 -
@mainelylisa Thanks for putting your story out there. I can totally relate. I cannot stop, no off switch, no temperance.... I can just keep returning to the bottle and pouring. I have no limits in my mind. And it's never enough.
I feel for you. The puking, the blackout, the embarrassment , etc. We have been there!! It is a soul searching experience.
I recently read a book about "Blackouts", and it's such a mystery why they even happen. The brain shuts off; sometimes a person doesn't have to drink that much to have a blackout. People have awakened to find out they've harmed a loved one and have no memory of it.
Alcohol is a compulsion and an obsession for some of us. The brain has turned into a pickle. It cannot go back into being a cucumber. Sadly- I have tried. I have mourned many many days the fact I can't drink like normal people.
So, you have two choices: not drink today or drink. Don't think about quitting even for a month- that is depressing for us drinkers. So, keep it simple: I won't drink today. The days will start to add up. You will start to feel better.
Not to compare stories but my sister's last drink was in April. She nearly asphyxiated on her vomit in a hotel room all alone. She is lucky to be alive.
Thanks for sharing. You are helping us with your story. And stop by anytime. You can be part of both threads
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@mainelylisa
I, too, have no off switch. I will drink till either it is gone or I pass out. I have said so many horrible thing during a black out... I get it. I went for a black out hike once. Because this is a GREAT idea. My hungover self had to pick sticks out of my skin bc it appeared that I fell. I was cut to pieces.
You don’t have to be embarrassed with us! We are all here for the same reason.
Secondly, I am considering going to a group (not AA) meeting tomorrow night. I have driven by the center 1000 times and read the sign. I think it is time to attend.5 -
Thank you, @RubyRed427 I'm so glad your sister made it through that. Sometimes luck is on our side when biochemistry/addiction is not.
For me, I'm going to try to focus on things I want to do and learn, and experience, rather than what I'm missing. I've been stuck for years in a blahness. Stuck with photography. Stuck with my memoir. I'm determined to get to where alcohol no longer tempts me. Where I don't have a desire to drink like a "normal" person. Curious if anyone here is there.
I did manage a workout yesterday and yelled "*kitten* alcohol--cause it's sure *kittened* me" throughout. It felt pretty good. :-)
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