Is my girlfriend cheating ? Late night long gym sessions and Dodgey behaviour overall :( help
Replies
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Yes, you need to get out of this relationship. She’s crushing your soul. I’ve been there. You’re losing yourself.
I totally get going to the gym at a time when there are few people, but you are absolutely miserable. As others have said, this isn’t just about the gym. Unless you like this dynamic where she’s totally dominating and destroying you and you’ve chosen this pain, GET OUT.5 -
aChuisle_moChroi wrote: »Yes, you need to get out of this relationship. She’s crushing your soul. I’ve been there. You’re losing yourself.
I totally get going to the gym at a time when there are few people, but you are absolutely miserable. As others have said, this isn’t just about the gym. Unless you like this dynamic where she’s totally dominating and destroying you and you’ve chosen this pain, GET OUT.
I didn’t want to say it but I’m loosing my self and falling apart, I need to be really brave to just do it, she will never change and is making it clear that this is what you get clearly she doesn’t have any boundaries clearly even tho we agreed things seems like nothing matters hence my mind is thinking all sorts she hasn’t done her self any favours and I’m sure she knows what she’s doing
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Dontletitbeatyou2018 wrote: »*snip*Women advice but men mainly, would you be fine with your other half going so late and for so long or would you start to think is there something going on ? It could be insecurities my end but you know when you just know some thing doesn’t feel right
Despite your request above and unless I'm misgendering (and/or skimming way too fast in search of a response from Motorsheen), you seem to be exclusively responding to women's posts about your relationship. My curiosity is piqued as to why since everyone has given you great feedback that you can act on?4 -
It patently clear that your “GF” is actually an FSB assassin.3
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Dontletitbeatyou2018 wrote: »*snip*Women advice but men mainly, would you be fine with your other half going so late and for so long or would you start to think is there something going on ? It could be insecurities my end but you know when you just know some thing doesn’t feel right
Despite your request above and unless I'm misgendering (and/or skimming way too fast in search of a response from Motorsheen), you seem to be exclusively responding to women's posts about your relationship. My curiosity is piqued as to why since everyone has given you great feedback that you can act on?
I’m too tired to fact check this but I like it.3 -
Typo all men and women welcome to give there thoughts, is the gut instinct ever wrong, if I leave without any proof etc will I live in regret and try to back is the question no way out is easier with her0
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Dontletitbeatyou2018 wrote: »*snip*Women advice but men mainly, would you be fine with your other half going so late and for so long or would you start to think is there something going on ? It could be insecurities my end but you know when you just know some thing doesn’t feel right
Despite your request above and unless I'm misgendering (and/or skimming way too fast in search of a response from Motorsheen), you seem to be exclusively responding to women's posts about your relationship. My curiosity is piqued as to why since everyone has given you great feedback that you can act on?
I got nuthin'
Truth is, I feel bad for the OP and I'm not about to clown about someone else's personal issues.
( my own, sure... others, I won't do it.)
It's easy to type "leave her" without any definitive evidence or an admission of guilt.
I guess that I've always felt that a great relationship should be almost effortless and this one doesn't seem to meet that criteria. In that sense, I would move on, especially because there is no marriage, talk of marriage or children involved.
Long ago, I was having some girlfriend issues and was told by a friend:
" Don't sweat it; girls are like subway trains, a new one comes by every ten minutes."
.7 -
Dontletitbeatyou2018 wrote: »*snip*Women advice but men mainly, would you be fine with your other half going so late and for so long or would you start to think is there something going on ? It could be insecurities my end but you know when you just know some thing doesn’t feel right
Despite your request above and unless I'm misgendering (and/or skimming way too fast in search of a response from Motorsheen), you seem to be exclusively responding to women's posts about your relationship. My curiosity is piqued as to why since everyone has given you great feedback that you can act on?
I usually don't comment, but check out OP's FL---all women. Why??5 -
snowflake954 wrote: »Dontletitbeatyou2018 wrote: »*snip*Women advice but men mainly, would you be fine with your other half going so late and for so long or would you start to think is there something going on ? It could be insecurities my end but you know when you just know some thing doesn’t feel right
Despite your request above and unless I'm misgendering (and/or skimming way too fast in search of a response from Motorsheen), you seem to be exclusively responding to women's posts about your relationship. My curiosity is piqued as to why since everyone has given you great feedback that you can act on?
I usually don't comment, but check out OP's FL---all women. Why??
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Hate to say it but you should probably walk away. Firstly, look at what it is doing to your self esteem and mental health - relationships shouldn't do that and if you stay too long it'll break you down so much you'll wonder if you could ever be whole again. Trust me on that. Secondly, if you cannot trust her then that's a relationship with no foundation imo. Sounds like you guys can't communicate in a productive and healthy way which is key really. Whether she is cheating or you're just paranoid, the situation is unfair on you both.4
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I used to go out with someone who worked out every evening at the gym and then they really worked out after that all over town. Ayup. Your first impression is usually right and the handwriting is already on the wall.
Don't overthink it. You already know.
Don't say it's okay if it's not.
Don't overlook the obvious.
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I mean, we’re all just playing along. It’s not exactly breaking news that strangers on the internet sometimes misrepresent themselves. We’re participating in a performance.10
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I'm 52 and I can tell you that I have encountered people in my lifetime who give off an untrusty vibe that I couldn't put my finger on. Things they did and said we're explained away and rationalized and while they didn't actually do anything to warrant my distrust, I couldn't shake the feeling. I have found that when I disregarded my feelings, the relationship inevitably turned out badly and I wished I had walked away sooner. You won't be comfortable in this relationship unless you have the security of trust. Whether it's late night gym visits or something else, this is likely to continue.5
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Motorsheen wrote: »Dontletitbeatyou2018 wrote: »*snip*Women advice but men mainly, would you be fine with your other half going so late and for so long or would you start to think is there something going on ? It could be insecurities my end but you know when you just know some thing doesn’t feel right
Despite your request above and unless I'm misgendering (and/or skimming way too fast in search of a response from Motorsheen), you seem to be exclusively responding to women's posts about your relationship. My curiosity is piqued as to why since everyone has given you great feedback that you can act on?
I got nuthin'
Truth is, I feel bad for the OP and I'm not about to clown about someone else's personal issues.
( my own, sure... others, I won't do it.)
It's easy to type "leave her" without any definitive evidence or an admission of guilt.
I guess that I've always felt that a great relationship should be almost effortless and this one doesn't seem to meet that criteria. In that sense, I would move on, especially because there is no marriage, talk of marriage or children involved.
Long ago, I was having some girlfriend issues and was told by a friend:
" Don't sweat it; girls are like subway trains, a new one comes by every ten minutes."
.
Motorsheen Missives & Memos are a highlight of my day. They don't always need to be funny and this one was balanced. You got sumthin' 🙌🏿
As to @Dontletitbeatyou2018, I hope you're able to sort through all the responses you've gotten to date about your situation and then do something about it for your mental and emotional health.1 -
Dontletitbeatyou2018 wrote: »
She recently said she has that but never before mentioned it and is a very confident person.
2 possible
3 maybe
4 maybe but isn’t working hence I don’t get why she wouldn’t go in the day time when quiet
5 she’s not working so has a lot of time, I’ve asked her and she just says prefers it as less people same response each time
I am confident. Yet I am also introverted. I workout at home so as to avoid the gym and people. Introversion and social anxiety does not always show up as a lack of confidence.
Also, might this be a case of trying to justify your own indiscretions? It is noticeable that you have ONLY female friends on MFP (Yes, I went to snoop). I find it kind of odd there is not a single male. Is your concern valid or are you easing your guilt with the idea that she might be doing it, too?
Perhaps some honesty and introspection is needed for you to make the decision that would be best for the both of you.6 -
Bro, do her a favor and break up with her. You'll be doing yourself a favor, too - you sound very unhappy.8
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Two pages of over-analysis.
She is Russian. If she is not obsessed with you then she is done with you (cheating or not).5 -
Dontletitbeatyou2018 wrote: »KickassAmazon76 wrote: »Sounds to me like deep down in your heart you feel it's time to go, you just need someone to tell you to.
Listen to that small voice. It may be scary to leave this, but having that dark cloud over your head is no way to live.
It’s so bad that tonight is the first night I went to gym and couldn’t get out the car I’ve never had anxiety until recently with her, I feel like god would show me something but nothing black and white, she doesn’t even have social media she is a ghost. I don’t go on her phone etc the relationship is very how to say I thinks he shows me what she wants me to see / believe I dread to ask her to go on her phone as shouldn’t have to and never asked but her reaction may say a lot is she’s like NO etc etc
I think this is your answer...time to move on1 -
I’ve been you.
Honestly at this point I’m just embarrassed at my behavior and how much I cared. I overanalyzed everything he did. I read into every post any girl made on his social media. I even tried to use a Facebook algorithm against him. 🤦🏼♀️ “This girl always shows up in your top ten friends, usually ahead of me” OH MY GOD i was the WORST
Turns out I was depressed and had so much anxiety you could paper the walls with it. I loathed myself. I had no confidence. I was needy. Good god, no wonder I assumed he was losing interest. *I* didn’t even like me.
I’m sorry you’re going through this.
One thing I know for certain.. whether it’s warranted or not, your insecurity in this relationship will drown you, because her reassurances will make an entirely useless life vest. Don’t rely on them. Don’t wait around. Get out and get your head right.
Good luck my man ❤️11
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