@rieraclaelin and @speyerj I just had something of a whoosh this week. I noticed I was running to the bathroom more than usual even though my water intake is pretty consistent. When I got on the scale today, I couldn't believe it--down 5 pounds (although the scale was up .8 last week so not all new loss). I remembering having times in the past where I'd be going a lot more than usual but I don't know if those were during a whoosh. If so, I never made the connection. Learned something new to pay attention to! Thanks for pointing this out. It makes the increased trips to the bathroom more tolerable.

rieraclaelin wrote: »

I know once you hit 199, that's considered Onederland (right?)

Is there one for when you hit 299? I am now 27 pounds away from hitting that, and I was just curious

Congrats! The countdown begins!
I don't know if there is one for 299 (two-derland just doesn't quite work, lol), but there should be. The terrible twos? The terrific twos? Someone clever should really coin a term for that...

I just suddenly realized that the tenderness in my neck and shoulders where I'm a little bruised is probably the reason that I'm showing a pound up this morning. Body doesn't care how I got the bruising, just that there's bruising. So noted.

_inHisGrace wrote: »

Can anyone recommend a good eating disorder book? I don’t have health insurance and I want to figure out how to deal with my root causes etc.

I recommend "Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy".

While it is not strictly for eating disorders, this deals with basic Cognitive Behavioral Therapy techniques, which are what you're going to want to use. The author said he originally wrote it for his patients to use between therapy sessions. He then found out that working through it was just as useful as therapy sessions!

Where have Jackie and Merph been?....I miss their comments a lot..both are on my friends list but they are not in this group very often....I sincerely hope they are doing good.....actually, a lot of members are MIA!

AlexandraFindsHerself1971 wrote: »

I'm still around... I just have been dealing with a lot of feelings about various stuff and not wanting to post a lot.

I went on maintenance for a bit until I can get the problem with wanting to eat and feeling strong resistance to logging it settled down. And that is making me feel like I quit, and I haven't. I'm just pausing to get a better grip before I pull on the rope again, so to speak.

I'm trying to decide between studying all the math I failed to learn in school versus pulling the novel together into an actual coherent book that I can publish as next year's project.

Also his parents are having health issues, he's having mental health issues that are impacting our day to day relationship functioning, and COVID means no Christmas as usual, and that's hitting me harder than I expected.

So yeah. Stuff.

Sorry you are going thru all of this especially at this time of the year....I hope what you are doing helps!...hang in there because you are worth it!

I'm slipping on the calorie counting myself and having a hard time getting the logging in. I know I should care, but there is so much other stuff going on in my life that the willpower needed to stick to my calorie deficit has been taken up elsewhere and there's not enough left at the end of the day to reign in the snack drive.

The scale hasn't tipped back over 230 lbs yet but its been slowly creeping and I know I've got to stop it, if I can drum up some sort of control somewhere.

The romantic front is doing well and that's been my saving grace in all this. 5 weeks - I can't believe he's stuck around that long; no one else ever has before! We are really very compatible in life from religious and political views, to hobbies and interests, to sense of humor - not exactly the same in all regards, but I'm finding that I can live with the quirks that don't quite line up with me because of the things that we do agree with.

Unfortunately, as expected, I don't have much support on that front with my family. I waited to tell them this weekend because I wanted to see if it was truly going to last as all the other conversations I had ever been in with a guy ended around week 2 - we'd talk a lot at first, then it would fizzle down to every other day, and by the end of the month, it would be crickets. That's what I was expecting for this one too in the back of my mind, but instead of fizzling, this one keeps growing. I really, really do like this guy! But I waited because I'd rather suffer disappointment and heartache in solitude and did not want platitudes from my family. Plus I knew there was going to be resistance. *sigh*

My dad and sister are flat out against the idea because he is divorced and they firmly believe that no one should ever remarry after a divorce for any reason. My mother says she's more open to the idea but still thinks there will be consequences. Plus she told my brother she doesn't see this going anywhere and just calls him my friend even though I've expressed to her that neither of us are in this for just friendship; we are both seriously exploring this relationship with the end goal of marriage in mind; we are both too old to be playing games at this point-this is old fashioned, bonefide courtship here. Also, my family is very concerned because its an online distance relationship. My brother's first question was - has he asked you for money? lol The distance is a hurdle we are trying to figure out, though its also been a blessing too as it keeps us out of trouble and forces us to build this relationship on discussion and talk, which suits us both just fine as we are both more intellectual in our life approach anyway.

My brother is at least supportive; he says his only caution is because he doesn't know the guy and can't meet him face to face to get a read on him, but he says he trusts me and my judgment and is glad to see me happy. My sister in law is supportive as is my best friend and a pastor friend from my previous church in PA. So I do have some support, at least. I tell my best friend she is to be my Jiminy Cricket to keep me from letting emotion overrule my good sense lol

The next hurdle to come is that if this continues to grow, its very likely going to mean I'm going to have to move, and if it comes to that, that is going to really hit the fan not just in my family but in my church.

So the romance is a boon and a source of stress. On top of that, the job is getting worse by the day and I still have no idea what to do about it. I have been looking elsewhere, even up in Wisconsin where he is located, but have yet to find anything of value. He's in a temp job and is trying to find something more permanent and is looking up there and down here, so I'm also kind of waiting to see what he ends up with as his need is greater. There may be a potential perhaps in a few weeks in my current company, but its very vague. Meanwhile I've got a quarterly check in scheduled with my boss tomorrow that I'm not looking forward to at all as I've been getting a sense of frustration from him lately.

And the best friend is having a lot of problems lately too, which has been a big source of stress.

So with all those things hitting me now, the diet unfortunately has hit the bottom of the list of my priorities even though I'm mentally screaming at myself to get it back under control!

@bmeadows380 Just chiming in to say that my brother's relationship was much like yours in the beginning - he lived in Tennessee, she in Alaska, and he definitely did not get support from family, from the time he announced that he was talking to her right up until their marriage. They've been married four and a half years now and are both seemingly happy as clams. You are the only one who can know if a person is right for you, so don't let the naysayers get to you, and know that in time they may come around.

You might try visiting each other for a week or so, and this doesn't imply you two sleeping together, but more seeing if you get along okay living in the same house.

Where are all of the Larger Losers?.....would love to read your goals for 2021, read how you are doing and how your holidays went!....this has been such a strong, supportive and motivated group!...keep posting!...happy new year....together we can reach our goals!