Lost in Maintenance

springlering62
springlering62 Posts: 7,334 Member
edited January 2021 in Goal: Maintaining Weight
I’ve begun obsessing over scale weight and not paying attention to appearance, until my trainer tactfully showed me the video this still comes from Wednesday. I was horrified. I look like granddaddy long legs. She lovingly told me it’s too much, I’m visibly losing muscle, that she’s been there, too, etc etc. We had a long discussion.

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I hurt everywhere, all the time, from too much exercise. My joints have begun aching again the last few nights, interrupting sleep.

I’ve become obsessed with motivational rings, challenges, unbroken sequences of accomplishments. They were so helpful at first but now seem to run my life.

Logging since Thanksgiving has been a cluster. Feast or famine. I thought I’d be back in control after New Years, but yesterday was off the rails.

I eat, but feel like the more I eat, the hungrier I am. I had a huge grilled chicken salad for lunch and am still ravenous. The past few weeks feels like long hollow periods between snacks and meals, literally counting the minutes.

It’s time to reevaluate. My head is spinning. I recognize now I need to up calories, and put back on at least a couple of pounds if I’m planning to keep humping it at this rate. Otoh that’s what’s tearing up shoulders and butt

I was in a funk all yesterday because she ordered me to take a day off. I was boredom eating and climbing the walls, weepy because I couldn’t do anything. I literally felt like an addict looking for their next fix. I got a lot of steps simply prowling the house.

Feels like the wheels are coming off all of a sudden.

Just reaching out because I know others here probably have similar experiences.

Talk me down from the cliff, lol.

ETA: I’m actually working out less the past month than usual because I’m tired and run down.

Replies

  • Speakeasy76
    Speakeasy76 Posts: 961 Member
    I'm sorry to hear you are struggling and going through this right now. I have been where you are at different points in my life. I also really can relate to @sijomial 's post about aging and injuries and trying to push through (thank you).

    I would lose weight and get to my goal weight, and then wanted to see if I could "lose a little more " I also have the tendency to become obsessive about calories, macros,steps, exercise, etc., which isn't healthy either. I think part of me overcoming this a bit was recognizing this about myself and knowing it won't completely go away. However, I've learned to manage it and recognize when I'm getting too obsessive. That's why I set my weight loss to lose those stubborn last 10 pounds at a slow pace.

    I can definitely relate about wanting to be the strongest, most flexible etc. In a class or at the gym. I am not a person who likes to be the center of attention,but I AM a perfectionist (probably stemming from a sense of inadequacy in some way). The thing is, I'm 44 with a host of nagging chronic little injuries and pain. I'm getting better at trying to work around and not through it, but it's still hard for me.... especially when most of the women ( or girls, really) that are at my gym are at LEAST my age (if not less) and most likely don't have any pain.

    I think going on daily walks is still a good idea,but I'm wondering if you could turn it into more of a mindfulness walk. So, the intent would be more in centering and grounding yourself, and the steps "earned" are just an added bonus.

    I hope you are able to find your way back.
  • SummerSkier
    SummerSkier Posts: 4,746 Member
    I don't have a lot to add except one suggestion on your plan . You mentioned that you were eating to your TDEE vs BMR plus exercise. At the same time you also mention that you are not able to control your rollercoaster intake right now. My suggestion is that you just increase your TDEE allocation and stick with that. Maybe add 100 cals this week and after 2 weeks monitor and maybe you need to add more. For me trying to figure out how much to eat each day based on workouts is just not realistic and leads to a lot of hunger and rollercoaster type eating.

    Self analysis and realization is always good. Me personally I stay away from the scale most of the time and look at my clothes fit and energy levels. I did not weigh myself for 6 months last year and ended up eating almost 200 more than my initial TDEE was calculated from weight loss. Still stayed just about the same when I did weigh at the end of the year.

    Hope this helps but to me in maintenance you really need to look longer term and see what is triggering YOU personally and work on those items.

    summerinTx
  • AshHeartsJesus
    AshHeartsJesus Posts: 460 Member
    Aww I am glad you are feeling better!
    LORD JESUS guide 💟
  • charmmeth
    charmmeth Posts: 936 Member
    I am wondering how you are?

    The weights you are lifting are way above what I would aspire to (I have just turned 57 myself), but I thought of you yesterday when I decided to go lighter on my weights for a workout because my elbows were still sore from the day before. (To put this in perspective, this was 2.5 kg DBs instead of 4 kgs - I meant the first phrase in this paragraph seriously!) I've worked up very slowly from finding 0.5 kgs heavy last May, and I really don't know how you lift the weghts you do! Anyway, I really hope your energy levels are back up, the family situation resolved, and that your body has stopped hurting.
  • DancingMoosie
    DancingMoosie Posts: 8,613 Member
    edited February 2021
    I would consider taking a day (or week)off, not logging for a few days... basically like a vacation for the body and mind.