Thank you for ignoring me! I lost 11 pounds.

First of all congratulations on your loss. Good going. You cannot depend on others to keep you going until the end. You have a long way to go. You will make it under your own steam. I've been here 8 years. Sometimes people are very supportive--sometimes they are doing other things. You admit that you didn't have time to follow your FL yourself. That's OK. Just start anew and if you want more interest, comment a bit more on your newsfeed. I hope you are taking measurements so you can see your loss. Once you lose quite a bit do a success story. Usually many people comment. Good Luck.

Congratulations !! big accomplishment i agree you cant depend on anyone to keep you going do this for you long as you notice is all that matters. No its not easy but look your 11 pounds in that's great hold on to that and use that as motivation and fuel for yourself while not caring or needing anyone's else validation

Way to go! You're well on your way to hitting your goal.
Don't be angry or put out by your friends' not commenting on your weight loss. You're doing this for you, right?? Not them!

When I first arrived on MFP I accepted every FR and sent many FR. It was kind of a bust for me. Didn't really 'know' anybody and wanted to fit in, get support, etc. Plus I found replies moved quicker than I could keep up with, people never replied to me, just lots of reasons why I wasn't a good friend candidate.

Since then, I've recently taken the leap to attempting the friend thing again. And am admittedly terrible at it because I spend most of my time in the forums. So hopefully, until I find my bearings, they won't kick me out the door just yet.

Hey YOU!

I wouldn't sweat friends that aren't to active. Honestly your the only friend i have MFP so far. Also the only friend request I have received (thank you). I accepted your request cause I think I have a lot in common with you. I know what it's like to have small children point at me and say out loud "Look Mom, he's really fat!", while there mom quickly gives them a tug on the hand and tells them to not to say things like that. etc. (or maybe that hasn't happened to you... but you get the idea).

Point is I feel some kinship with you, and thus I'm really pulling for you.

Through this journey, one of the things I think we and most people need to work on is there self confidence and love of self. But having friends and people around you recognize the hard work you are doing is important as well. I thank god (Or my idea personal higher power) for bringing my fiance into my life, cause she lets me know she loves me every single day, and it does make everything that much easier.

So congratulations on you success thus far... Be thankful for those that help hold you steady along the way, and don't sweat those that maybe just don't have the time or inclination to be diligently monitoring the activity on this site, I'm pretty positive it isn't intentional. Besides, your the most important piece of this puzzle to solve.

Cheers!

I think many people believe they are going to be friends and encourage and receive encouragement. Many fail, drop off MFP, come back and then leave again. You can limit the number of friends to just the active ones or have lots of inactive people that started an account and aren't there anymore.

MFP can be used without friends, I had good success this way.

It sucks people choose to be friends and then do not behave as friends. I would suggest you identify you support network and focus on that.

I am a big believer that you have to ask for what you want and expect.

I never expect people to just randomly comment on any weight loss that I achieve, so it rarely occurs for me to comment when I see someone else's.

But if I saw someone post something like "I lost eleven pounds, it was rough, and I'd love to hear from people on this milestone," then I would almost certainly say something.

The point is that you're attributing really negative things to people not posting, but did you ever tell people how you want to interact? Marriage, work relationships, friendships, online interactions . . . you've got to let people know what you'd like because we're all different.

What supports one person feels smothering to another. You're blaming people for not being able to read your mind.

TheHappyLoser wrote: »

janejellyroll wrote: »

I am a big believer that you have to ask for what you want and expect.

I never expect people to just randomly comment on any weight loss that I achieve, so it rarely occurs for me to comment when I see someone else's.

But if I saw someone post something like "I lost eleven pounds, it was rough, and I'd love to hear from people on this milestone," then I would almost certainly say something.

The point is that you're attributing really negative things to people not posting, but did you ever tell people how you want to interact? Marriage, work relationships, friendships, online interactions . . . you've got to let people know what you'd like because we're all different.

What supports one person feels smothering to another. You're blaming people for not being able to read your mind.

Then why be a friend or have friends if you don't participate or don't expect anybody to participate?

I never said I don't participate or I don't expect others to participate. I'll engage on some posts, I just don't usually think to comment on a status where someone is just updating their weight. My point is that we all have different things that make us want to reach out. Instead of assuming "Nobody said anything, so they don't care about me," it may be more useful to flip that and realize "We're all different and I should ask for the support I want."

It's like love languages. If my love language is gifts and my husband's is acts of service, we may do nice things for each other all the time but never really realize how much the other one cares. Once I told my husband that I liked getting little gifts, he began going out of his way to get them for me AND he was able to realize what I'd been telling him with all the little gifts over the years. And I began going out of my way to do acts of service for him and I realized what he'd been telling me over the years with all his acts of service. Same with friendship and online relationships. Expecting people to show up for you in the exact same way you'd show up for them can lead to frustration, but when you ask for what you'd like, you may find yourself getting it.

Also keep in mind: "friendship" means different things to different people on here. Not everyone checks their newsfeed all the time, people add each other for different reasons. The people you're upset with, maybe they never even saw your post.