What's on your mind?
Replies
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Miss_Chiev0us_ wrote: »Do I want bangs or not 🤔 My daughter and I look alike, I wish she would let me cut hers so if it doesn't look good I'll be able to dodge a bullet.
That's doing motherhood right! Haha.
Maybe there's a snapchat filter that has bangs so you can test it out? 😁
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KickassAmazon76 wrote: »Miss_Chiev0us_ wrote: »Do I want bangs or not 🤔 My daughter and I look alike, I wish she would let me cut hers so if it doesn't look good I'll be able to dodge a bullet.
That's doing motherhood right! Haha.
Maybe there's a snapchat filter that has bangs so you can test it out? 😁
😂 there probably is. It was just a joke. I can easily cut one, I wear hair extensions.1 -
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Did a deep dive on narcissism. So very interesting. And sad.
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I had a hard time sleeping last night thinking about my daughters friend, must be why I am up before everyone. Yesterday I drove my daughter to the gym (she asked for her 1st membershp last week) I picked up a friend she goes with on our way there. Her mom came out to say hi to me and basically insulted her own daughter in front of me saying she will need to go for more than 1 month if she wants to lose weight and then said she should ask my daughter what she eats so she can be skinny too. She added more comments along those lines. Who the *kitten* speaks to their children like that or anyone for that matter???!!! I had a talk with my daughter about it when she got home and she told me other things. I am not sure some people realize that the way you speak to your children becomes the way they speak to themselves. Some people are so disgusting it makes me sick.7
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piggy_smalls wrote: »Why is it that no matter how old I get, when I buy snacks for a road trip, it looks like an unsupervised nine year old was given $100 at Circle K?
meeeeee also 1 -
My bed.. 💤 😴 night all1
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Miss_Chiev0us_ wrote: »I had a hard time sleeping last night thinking about my daughters friend, must be why I am up before everyone. Yesterday I drove my daughter to the gym (she asked for her 1st membershp last week) I picked up a friend she goes with on our way there. Her mom came out to say hi to me and basically insulted her own daughter in front of me saying she will need to go for more than 1 month if she wants to lose weight and then said she should ask my daughter what she eats so she can be skinny too. She added more comments along those lines. Who the *kitten* speaks to their children like that or anyone for that matter???!!! I had a talk with my daughter about it when she got home and she told me other things. I am not sure some people realize that the way you speak to your children becomes the way they speak to themselves. Some people are so disgusting it makes me sick.
It's extremely sad how some parents choose their words and the way they parent. Kids see with their eyes, but also ears, heart and parents' reactions.
I'm so glad you have a close relationship with your dd that you can have eye-opening conversations like those with her.
I remember a mom coming to daycare 1 a.m., clearly exasperated with her young ds and said she should've just gotten a dog. Kids are not dumb. Parents used to go on vacation all the time, using daycare and grandparents instead of taking their children with them. Their children would spend 10-12 hours a day with providers while parents went places without them, didn't matter if it was a day off work or not. Those actions say a lot to a child. It says 'I'd rather not be with you, I don't have time for you'.
Those type of comments from parents affects a child forever and they'll never see themselves as worthy or good enough.:(3 -
KickassAmazon76 wrote: »
I have too. But I didn’t know what to call it. And witnessed from a distance. I just didn’t know that’s what it was. I’m sorry you’ve experienced a few. You definitely didn’t deserve that.1 -
KickassAmazon76 wrote: »
I have too. But I didn’t know what to call it. And witnessed from a distance. I just didn’t know that’s what it was. I’m sorry you’ve experienced a few. You definitely didn’t deserve that.
Im sorry you're having to deal with someone like that. Never forget your worth or let anyone make you feel like you're not enough.
Narcissists tend to have less willingness to exercise emphaty, express remorse or apologize. Maybe I have too much emphaty towards others that I find it difficult to think that there is people who are inhuman like that and have no emotions? Can one person really not be able to love or have no soul? To me those people clearly have had emotional problems in the past or childhood and don't know how to deal with it? Hurt people, hurt people? It doesn't make it right but that phrase is always in the back of my mind when I deal with difficult people now.
My opinion on this is probably not like most people because I've never experienced being around someone like what your post described although I've slapped that label quickly on people when I felt like I've been hurt in the past.
You're a great person Mel, don't ever let anyone make you think otherwise. ❤3 -
Miss_Chiev0us_ wrote: »I had a hard time sleeping last night thinking about my daughters friend, must be why I am up before everyone. Yesterday I drove my daughter to the gym (she asked for her 1st membershp last week) I picked up a friend she goes with on our way there. Her mom came out to say hi to me and basically insulted her own daughter in front of me saying she will need to go for more than 1 month if she wants to lose weight and then said she should ask my daughter what she eats so she can be skinny too. She added more comments along those lines. Who the *kitten* speaks to their children like that or anyone for that matter???!!! I had a talk with my daughter about it when she got home and she told me other things. I am not sure some people realize that the way you speak to your children becomes the way they speak to themselves. Some people are so disgusting it makes me sick.
It's extremely sad how some parents choose their words and the way they parent. Kids see with their eyes, but also ears, heart and parents' reactions. I'm so glad you have a close relationship with your dd that you can have eye-opening conversations like those with her.
I remember a mom coming to daycare 1 a.m., clearly exasperated with her young ds and said she should've just gotten a dog. Kids are not dumb. Parents used to go on vacation all the time, using daycare and grandparents instead of taking their children with them. Their children would spend 10-12 hours a day with providers while parents went places without them, didn't matter if it was a day off work or not. Those actions say a lot to a child. It says 'I'd rather not be with you, I don't have time for you'.
Those type of comments from parents affects a child forever and they'll never see themselves as worthy or good enough.:(
It's seriously been bugging me since it happened. I feel so bad for her. My daughter said she barely eats at school when they have their lunch, that girl is 14 and counting her calories! I can tell you one thing, I didn't say much but I *kitten* slapped her mom with my eyes 😆3 -
Miss_Chiev0us_ wrote: »I had a hard time sleeping last night thinking about my daughters friend, must be why I am up before everyone. Yesterday I drove my daughter to the gym (she asked for her 1st membershp last week) I picked up a friend she goes with on our way there. Her mom came out to say hi to me and basically insulted her own daughter in front of me saying she will need to go for more than 1 month if she wants to lose weight and then said she should ask my daughter what she eats so she can be skinny too. She added more comments along those lines. Who the *kitten* speaks to their children like that or anyone for that matter???!!! I had a talk with my daughter about it when she got home and she told me other things. I am not sure some people realize that the way you speak to your children becomes the way they speak to themselves. Some people are so disgusting it makes me sick.
That mother sounds an awful lot like my mother. She has been body-shaming me since I was roughly 10, even though *she* was the one who controlled what food came into the home and never cooked meals. I get it, she was busy as a single parent a lot of the time, but the commentary on my body stuck with me. Still has, decades later. I will never escape it.
So yes, I 100% agree with your assessment. What a parent tells their children sticks with them for life, which is why I try to be very, very careful about what I say to my son. I don't need him growing up with the stigma and shame that I still feel every day in every fiber of my being... or feeling like that his only value in his parent's life is how he looks, how much he weighs and whether or not he's "fit".4 -
Miss_Chiev0us_ wrote: »I had a hard time sleeping last night thinking about my daughters friend, must be why I am up before everyone. Yesterday I drove my daughter to the gym (she asked for her 1st membershp last week) I picked up a friend she goes with on our way there. Her mom came out to say hi to me and basically insulted her own daughter in front of me saying she will need to go for more than 1 month if she wants to lose weight and then said she should ask my daughter what she eats so she can be skinny too. She added more comments along those lines. Who the *kitten* speaks to their children like that or anyone for that matter???!!! I had a talk with my daughter about it when she got home and she told me other things. I am not sure some people realize that the way you speak to your children becomes the way they speak to themselves. Some people are so disgusting it makes me sick.
This makes me so, so sad. As a kid who was a bit overweight this breaks my heart. My parents never said anything to me like that, but there were comments here and there from my dad of all people that I took to heart.
My daughter (9) is heavier, and I really struggle with what to do somtimes. I don't want her to end up with weight/food issues like I did for so much of her life, but also don't want to be "that mom" and do more harm than good. I know I have said things I wished I didn't when her clothes we got her not that long started to not fit, and wish I could take them back. I asked her the other day how she was feeling about herself (among asking her about everything). She said "good," so I let it be. I really try to emphasize how making better food choices/being active makes us feel all around better rather than the focus being on our weight. She actually doesn't seem to go looking for food just to eat (like my son), but also can eat a lot at one time when she is actually hungry.2 -
I hope when I call to make my tattoo appt they aren't booked too far in advance. 🤞🏼2
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Miss_Chiev0us_ wrote: »KickassAmazon76 wrote: »
I have too. But I didn’t know what to call it. And witnessed from a distance. I just didn’t know that’s what it was. I’m sorry you’ve experienced a few. You definitely didn’t deserve that.
Im sorry you're having to deal with someone like that. Never forget your worth or let anyone make you feel like you're not enough.
Narcissists tend to have less willingness to exercise emphaty, express remorse or apologize. Maybe I have too much emphaty towards others that I find it difficult to think that there is people who are inhuman like that and have no emotions? Can one person really not be able to love or have no soul? To me those people clearly have had emotional problems in the past or childhood and don't know how to deal with it? Hurt people, hurt people? It doesn't make it right but that phrase is always in the back of my mind when I deal with difficult people now.
My opinion on this is probably not like most people because I've never experienced being around someone like what your post described although I've slapped that label quickly on people when I felt like I've been hurt in the past.
You're a great person Mel, don't ever let anyone make you think otherwise. ❤
In my experience, I think it was less of an unwillingness to exercise empathy and more of an incapability to do it. It was as if this person stopped growing emotionally at age 6 - and could not, no matter how hard they tried, put themselves in someone else's position, or feel any emotion towards what they were going through. EVEN when prompted. This person could not put someone's else's needs above their own, and unless told otherwise, it didn't even occur to them to THINK about the impact of their choices on other people.
To the point where I feel sorry for them for being so emotionally handicapped.3 -
Miss_Chiev0us_ wrote: »Miss_Chiev0us_ wrote: »I had a hard time sleeping last night thinking about my daughters friend, must be why I am up before everyone. Yesterday I drove my daughter to the gym (she asked for her 1st membershp last week) I picked up a friend she goes with on our way there. Her mom came out to say hi to me and basically insulted her own daughter in front of me saying she will need to go for more than 1 month if she wants to lose weight and then said she should ask my daughter what she eats so she can be skinny too. She added more comments along those lines. Who the *kitten* speaks to their children like that or anyone for that matter???!!! I had a talk with my daughter about it when she got home and she told me other things. I am not sure some people realize that the way you speak to your children becomes the way they speak to themselves. Some people are so disgusting it makes me sick.
It's extremely sad how some parents choose their words and the way they parent. Kids see with their eyes, but also ears, heart and parents' reactions. I'm so glad you have a close relationship with your dd that you can have eye-opening conversations like those with her.
I remember a mom coming to daycare 1 a.m., clearly exasperated with her young ds and said she should've just gotten a dog. Kids are not dumb. Parents used to go on vacation all the time, using daycare and grandparents instead of taking their children with them. Their children would spend 10-12 hours a day with providers while parents went places without them, didn't matter if it was a day off work or not. Those actions say a lot to a child. It says 'I'd rather not be with you, I don't have time for you'.
Those type of comments from parents affects a child forever and they'll never see themselves as worthy or good enough.:(
It's seriously been bugging me since it happened. I feel so bad for her. My daughter said she barely eats at school when they have their lunch, that girl is 14 and counting her calories! I can tell you one thing, I didn't say much but I *kitten* slapped her mom with my eyes 😆
My youngest has a friend who is fighting an eating disorder (and losing pretty badly) because her mom talks to her like this. It's heartbreaking. Especially when you see it happening and feel powerless to stop it. All you can do is try to change the narrative when they're around you... show them that life is different elsewhere and hope that you plant a seed that takes root as they grow older. *hugs*3 -
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I’m thinking the mouse in my house is into this.
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honeybee__12 wrote: »
I’m thinking the mouse in my house is into this.
😂
😂2
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