The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living
Replies
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Im sorry @RubyRed427. My heart goes out to you and your family. ❤3
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@RubyRed427 My deepest condolences to you and the family. There are no words for this horror that has happened. We all are sending our love and support to you.
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I was walking on the beach this morning and befriended an adorable 70 year old who was walking 10 miles today - fit as a fiddle. We talked for awhile and she is 32 years sober. It was really meant to be that I walked with her. She is training for a 500 mile walk in Spain. She was as bubbly and positive as anyone I've met. Sober looks good on her! She inspired me.
She said when you get back to your condo - write in the sand near the surf, "I am not a victim. Acceptance is the key to peace" and let the water wash it away....
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Thank you everyone for your love and support; I hear that the boy's mother is 2 years off drugs and is the one who dropped him off to be babysitting by his father. I can't imagine her guilt and horror. She had bad judgment and that cost her her son. I'm sure she Never dreamed this would happen.
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@RubyRed427 You were absolutely destined to meet this earth angel. I wish you peace on what was supposed to be a relaxing vacation which now much be quite a different experience with what has gone on in your family. Sending hugs. 4
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Again... it has been a while since I checked in.
I drank last night. I had 3 cognacs and I feel like death today. Like I’m still in bed!!!
I’m really glad it was a bad experience to push me right back on the sober bus!!9 -
@Beka3695 That happens! Move on and look forward to how good you will feel in a few days. That sober bus ride is always available! Just back on.5
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I am really enjoying "Quit like a woman" book. Nothing earth shattering but she focus on mind body connection. Nurturing ourselves and not always everyone else. Women mother everyone but forget to give themselves love, compassion, encouragement....
I like her perspective that some sober programs are geared towards men. She says it's time woman start taking care of ourselves! Let's be little selfish when it comes to figuring out why we drink so we can get passed those triggers.
I know I liked drinking to reward myself for a job well done. She says find substitutions for alcohol - she even says if you have to take a few bubble baths in a day, then do it!! Find alternatives and it will help with cravings.
This weekend I have been on vacation in FLA. I have had to sit at bars to eat because I'm traveling alone and sitting at a table in the middle of a restaurant is so uncomfortable for me. Anyway, I was telling Jen T. that I overheard a bartender say to a lady who sat down. "Hey, you left last night and forgot to pay your bill!!" The lady who sat down was flabbergasted, shocked, looked genuinely surprised. She said "I dont remember that." The bartender said well you did! We ate your food so you dont have to pay for that but you do owe us for the wine you drank.
I watched the lady's face; she was so embarrassed. She said I have no memory of that.
I sat drinking my Coke with a little smile- yes I felt a bit smug that I wasn't in her shoes. ** But I used to be!
Then, she ordered one chardonnay and paid the bill and left.5 -
Upon check in today at my hotel, the concierge offered me a sangria. I said "no thanks"....
Of course, I would have loved one or ten. But there is simply no point anymore. I am 80 percent accepting that I cannot drink every again. But I'll just view it one day at a time.6 -
@RubyRed427 I'm so glad you had a wonderful and sober vacation! I have been in that woman's shoes as well. It is mortifying.4
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https://www.washingtonpost.com/history/2021/03/30/jerry-parr-secret-service-reagan-assassination/
Im outing myself now as his daughter. He was a great man and an even better dad.
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My sister who is a much better writer than I , wrote this.
https://inthesecretservice.com/2021/03/28/the-spider-who-saved-a-president/4 -
RubyRed427 wrote: »I am really enjoying "Quit like a woman" book. Nothing earth shattering but she focus on mind body connection. Nurturing ourselves and not always everyone else. Women mother everyone but forget to give themselves love, compassion, encouragement....
I like her perspective that some sober programs are geared towards men. She says it's time woman start taking care of ourselves! Let's be little selfish when it comes to figuring out why we drink so we can get passed those triggers.
I know I liked drinking to reward myself for a job well done. She says find substitutions for alcohol - she even says if you have to take a few bubble baths in a day, then do it!! Find alternatives and it will help with cravings.
This weekend I have been on vacation in FLA. I have had to sit at bars to eat because I'm traveling alone and sitting at a table in the middle of a restaurant is so uncomfortable for me. Anyway, I was telling Jen T. that I overheard a bartender say to a lady who sat down. "Hey, you left last night and forgot to pay your bill!!" The lady who sat down was flabbergasted, shocked, looked genuinely surprised. She said "I dont remember that." The bartender said well you did! We ate your food so you dont have to pay for that but you do owe us for the wine you drank.
I watched the lady's face; she was so embarrassed. She said I have no memory of that.
I sat drinking my Coke with a little smile- yes I felt a bit smug that I wasn't in her shoes. ** But I used to be!
Then, she ordered one chardonnay and paid the bill and left.
I LOVE that book @RubyRed427 and how we are taking back our power by being sober. Update: 29 days AF, tomorrow will be the big 3-0. A friend told me my face is so much clearer dark circles are less, anxiety is always there due to my PTSD and current life situation but it is definitely less than when drinking. hope everyone is doing good in their journeys.6 -
My sister who is a much better writer than I , wrote this.
https://inthesecretservice.com/2021/03/28/the-spider-who-saved-a-president/
Jen , I just read your sister's essay and had goosebumps throughout the read. What a tragic childhood in a way but it prepared him to save a President. I know he was such a good man and father to you. I know you loved him so much; he must have adored you too. Thank you for sharing!4 -
RubyRed427 wrote: »I am really enjoying "Quit like a woman" book. Nothing earth shattering but she focus on mind body connection. Nurturing ourselves and not always everyone else. Women mother everyone but forget to give themselves love, compassion, encouragement....
I like her perspective that some sober programs are geared towards men. She says it's time woman start taking care of ourselves! Let's be little selfish when it comes to figuring out why we drink so we can get passed those triggers.
I know I liked drinking to reward myself for a job well done. She says find substitutions for alcohol - she even says if you have to take a few bubble baths in a day, then do it!! Find alternatives and it will help with cravings.
This weekend I have been on vacation in FLA. I have had to sit at bars to eat because I'm traveling alone and sitting at a table in the middle of a restaurant is so uncomfortable for me. Anyway, I was telling Jen T. that I overheard a bartender say to a lady who sat down. "Hey, you left last night and forgot to pay your bill!!" The lady who sat down was flabbergasted, shocked, looked genuinely surprised. She said "I dont remember that." The bartender said well you did! We ate your food so you dont have to pay for that but you do owe us for the wine you drank.
I watched the lady's face; she was so embarrassed. She said I have no memory of that.
I sat drinking my Coke with a little smile- yes I felt a bit smug that I wasn't in her shoes. ** But I used to be!
Then, she ordered one chardonnay and paid the bill and left.
I LOVE that book @RubyRed427 and how we are taking back our power by being sober. Update: 29 days AF, tomorrow will be the big 3-0. A friend told me my face is so much clearer dark circles are less, anxiety is always there due to my PTSD and current life situation but it is definitely less than when drinking. hope everyone is doing good in their journeys.
30 days! hooray and so happy for you!! With each passing day, you will build some positive "muscle memory" and tools to stay sober. You are doing so well!!! Many of us know just how hard 30 days is!! Hope you reward yourself!5 -
Up_n_Running wrote: »@mtngrl3 Woo Hoo ! So happy for you, that's a major milestone coming up. 🙌
My face is noticeably better looking when I am AF. My eyes look so different too, bright & alive. So being sober has lots of benefits! I also noticed my anxiety reduce. Didn't disappear, but definitely reduced.
Doing my food shop this evening, I found myself experiencing a small craving to buy 'something' from the alcohol Isle. Probably as Easter is coming up, there is a buzz everywhere and something to celebrate is coming up. So I bought some 0% beer.
It is good there is the option of 0% for those kind of scenarios.
24 days AF 🙂
25 days by now! You have great resilience and determination!!!4 -
Every Easter I post this same memory. One Easter Sunday, I drank so much wine throughout the day that when nearly all the guests left (Thank God most left), I had my head in the toilet and spent the night on the bathroom floor! What a shame that day turned out. But it at least gives me yet another reminder of how I cannot moderate no matter my good intentions. I think this will be my third sober Easter. Thank heavens.
For any one who is trying to become sober for a period of time, keep trying and never ever give up. Even a few days of sobriety helps and is a step in the right direction. It has taken many of us on this thread a few years to really come to the realization that alcohol does not help our problems but makes them worse.
It has taken me about four years to string together many months of sobriety. Currently I am nearing 7 months in a row. But I won't take it for granted for one second. I am so grateful.
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I know I shared my family tragedy with you last week; it is an ongoing nightmare for my relatives. A nightmare that will never end. Anyway, the whole origin of this child's death involves addiction (mostly to meth). Addiction can destroy lives, change families forever, and even take innocent lives. I am not even trying to be extreme here, but let's face it, drugs and alcohol if used to excess is utterly dangerous. There is so much more the the story than most know. But still the end result is a child is dead.
There has been such hateful posts online and death threats on the relatives of the child who was killed that a police man is stationed at the grandmother's house and sister's house; they didn't dream that this child would be killed; they loved that little boy with all their hearts.
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Today I was with my brother and he stopped by the store for a drink. Normally, I would join him but I didn't. I tried not to guilt trip him for drinking but honestly I did a little. Only because yesterday I decided that I would make a change and haven't drank for two days. Even though I had no motivation three days ago, I started over anyway. I told myself that I didn't need motivation or desire. I just needed to do it and I did. Unfortunately, I still have this date in my mind when I will allow myself to drink again. I still don't see myself as someone who doesn't drink. I am not there yet. I want to be, but I am not.5
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