The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living

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  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 4,155 Member
    Fivepts wrote: »
    Today I was with my brother and he stopped by the store for a drink. Normally, I would join him but I didn't. I tried not to guilt trip him for drinking but honestly I did a little. Only because yesterday I decided that I would make a change and haven't drank for two days. Even though I had no motivation three days ago, I started over anyway. I told myself that I didn't need motivation or desire. I just needed to do it and I did. Unfortunately, I still have this date in my mind when I will allow myself to drink again. I still don't see myself as someone who doesn't drink. I am not there yet. I want to be, but I am not.

    It's a work in progress. I understand how you are feeling; it will take time. Don't forget one day at a time concept does work. If I thought I will never drink again, that is so overwhelming and depressing, but if I think that just for today I won't drink, it's easier to handle. You are on the right track if you want to quit. Little by little you'll get to a place you want to be.

  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 4,155 Member
    @Up_n_Running I understand what you went through. I can see it in my mind. So not worth it. So not worth the few hours of perceived fun for many hours of hell and self-loathing as well (at least for me).

    I think we are getting messages from the universe and our inner wisdom that says "been there, done that. " Drinking is not working for me anymore; time for a change.

    Thanks for sharing your memory!
  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 4,155 Member
    On a friend's facebook, I once saw a message about her brother; her brother, I remember him from high school, was gorgeous and nice. In his 20s, he killed someone drunk driving and is now spending decades in jail.

    She posted a link to a news article about him and a few other inmates who are trying to help others and prevent more senseless deaths from drunk drivers.

    One more reminder: my sister sometimes says "We should be grateful because our "illness" is treatable by something simple as not drinking. " We do have a choice; no one is forcing me to put the wine glass to my mouth or buy a bottle. Sometimes, it's actually a relief I don't have to struggle anymore. I just am not going to drink today.

    All the years I tried to control my drinking and wondering why I was a failure. I see it is how my brain is wired. I truly dont mind anyone else drinking (even around me) but I have accepted I cannot.
  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 4,155 Member
    JenT304 wrote: »
    @Up_n_Running Surely there must be some ground rules they can live by. It is not fair to keep you awake all night with their shenanigans. I'd have a talk about this when they are sober.

    Well, yeah. I am being as fair about things as possible. I haven't said that there is to be NO drinking at home.

    So a compromise on their part (if you can call it that) would be to call it a night at a reasonable hour. But my concern is, they seem unable to do that. Its like they bounce off each other once they get started and take it to crazy town. I will speak to them tomorrow when they are coherent.

    Crazy behavior but I can relate of course. I never was a binge drinker at home; I always kept drinking and drinking while out at bars. But some people feel safer at home to binge. I agree with Jen, they need some ground rules when they are sober you guys can discuss. Late into the night is definitely unacceptable.

    I smiled when you said you'll go for a walk and I know you'll feel so good!! At least it's not you with a severe hangover that will ruin their whole day.
  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 4,155 Member
    Very interesting - thanks for sharing! I think I must be missing this enzyme. Because I could have the same amount of alcohol as my friend (similar in size) and be affected so differently including the most wicked hangovers. Good article.

    Yes, it was interesting your partner noticed that as well!!
  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 4,155 Member
    An article I read says it's best to stay away from the term "relapse" and replace it with "recovery maintenance". I like that idea. Here's a quote from the article in psychologytoday:

    "Last but not least, cognitive therapy is still one of the most fundamental and effective tools in relapse prevention when paired with mindfulness and other behavior-oriented approaches. One of the biggest barriers to someone feeling motivated in recovery is that sobriety is “boring” and there is no room for “fun,” creating a dreadful environment in their recovery journey before it even begins. This misconception needs to be changed to the idea that recovery can be, and is, fun. This cognitive change would then be carried out through different recovery-oriented activities, while using mindfulness and relaxation-oriented practices to manage day-to-day stress and build the resilience and discipline required in recovery.
  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 4,155 Member
    JenT304 wrote: »
    Happy Easter to those who celebrate it! I look forward to a family lunch with my daughter and grand kids, father in law, and various nieces and nephews. I'll be bringing a fruit salad, a dip, and some Perrier. We are almost all vaccinated now and I am extremely grateful to celebrate normally.

    Happy Easter, Jen! Enjoy your day with the family!
  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 4,155 Member
    @Up_n_Running Totally not fair. I would be a little upset with your partner, because he doesn't seem to be gravitating towards your goals, he seems to be gravitating to excessive drinking with your brother. Is there a local pub they can go to? It would be so much easier on you.

    I am worried about your brother; even though he is young and drinking can be normal for that age, I just don't want his body to be harmed so early at his age.
    p.s. I love the picture of the three of you!
  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 4,155 Member
    Thanks for your response @RubyRed427 I will have to talk to my partner about it.

    Sorry for ranting / venting on here. I was so frustrated this morning.

    This is the perfect place to rant. Sorry for too much advice, I think, I give.

    I just feel like you're one of my dear friends, so I would say the same thing to them.