Things people say when you lose weight
Replies
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ExistingFish wrote: »How weird it is when you get to a place where most the people in your life only know you how you are now.
I've started my job, started going to a new church, started going to a new gym - all since losing weight. No one in my life knows I was ever overweight. In my mind, it's a "recent development", but to everyone else, it's just how they know me.
I guess its a good thing, but it's also kind of weird.
Yes. This.
I haven't changed all those things in my life, but I do meet new people . . . the disbelief, among people who didn't know me when I was fat, when they learn I was obese only a few years back: It's startling, and weird.5 -
After birthing 3 kids in 4 years, I went on to lose 50 lbs. My MIL said that she and her sister had been talking and were wondering if I was planning to leave my husband / her son! Nope. Just wanted my body back, thanks.13
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My HUSBAND briefly got weird when I lost weight. He got over it and it was never a mean thing because he's a good guy but he DEFINITELY got kind of...scared.
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It's always "You are getting too skinny".... Or "you are lucky, you can eat anything" lol. Like bruh don't discount all the hard work I've put in by saying I was born with a "high metabolism".15
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DiscipleOfChrist29 wrote: »It's always "don't discount all the hard work I've put in by saying I was born with a "high metabolism".
Love this!
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DiscusTank5 wrote: »My MIL said that she and her sister had been talking and were wondering if I was planning to leave my husband / her son!
MIL's...... smh.
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ExistingFish wrote: »How weird it is when you get to a place where most the people in your life only know you how you are now.
I've started my job, started going to a new church, started going to a new gym - all since losing weight. No one in my life knows I was ever overweight. In my mind, it's a "recent development", but to everyone else, it's just how they know me.
I guess its a good thing, but it's also kind of weird.
I had the opposite thing happen. I had gained weight after I was married, had my first daughter, and retired from semi-pro soccer. We had joined a new church two years after that. When I finally got motivated to do something about it, people were coming up to my wife and asking her if I had cancer, because I had dropped 70 pounds in 7 months. They only knew me as the fat person. But I was the exact same weight as before I gained it all. The questions really got more frequent after I started training for a marathon and dropped another 10 pounds.
People are weird.7 -
My favorite after losing about 100 lbs was running into someone I hadn't seen for a long time at the store. And she knew she knew me and DIDN'T RECOGNIZE ME, and was making those confused faces and saying "Wait, wait, I'll get it" and when she realized who I was her jaw dropped. No better feeling!10
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I love it when people don't recognize me! I had just barely started losing weight when a coworker of mine retired. Several months later I met up with that same coworker and because he'd never been to my house before I stood out in front so he would know which house it was - our mailbox is a little hard to see. He drove by like three times because I'd lost around 60 pounds in the interim and he didn't recognize me. Was fun!11
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wunderkindking wrote: »My HUSBAND briefly got weird when I lost weight. He got over it and it was never a mean thing because he's a good guy but he DEFINITELY got kind of...scared.
Ha, I think if this is a stage we're entering it now too. He's not mean about it at all, but definitely "uhhhh this is new and what are you doing, exactly?" and I can tell he's a *little* worried. Of course I'm not leaving! But our marriage is changing a little bit. For the better, I think, but it's still a little different and change is hard.9 -
penguinmama87 wrote: »wunderkindking wrote: »My HUSBAND briefly got weird when I lost weight. He got over it and it was never a mean thing because he's a good guy but he DEFINITELY got kind of...scared.
Ha, I think if this is a stage we're entering it now too. He's not mean about it at all, but definitely "uhhhh this is new and what are you doing, exactly?" and I can tell he's a *little* worried. Of course I'm not leaving! But our marriage is changing a little bit. For the better, I think, but it's still a little different and change is hard.
The spouse and I talked about that too - the fact that I wanted to lose weight to feel better and be more healthy. I think what has kept her on board with this journey is that this time I asked her for her help. I think if the spouse can be made to feel a part of the process, they will be more inclined to help and also not be as worried about somebody leaving. We talked about that too actually. Right now the only issue she has is that she's not losing weight as fast as I am, but she's not able to do all the things I can to lose. (Physical limitations so it's hard for her to exercise, intolerant of certain foods, etc.) Anyway, clear and loving communication is the greatest thing for reducing weight loss worry in a spouse.15 -
I mentioned that I had started using MyFitnessPal to journal my food. My colleague said, "Good for you! It must be difficult to lose weight AT YOUR AGE." I have also heard, "I am proud of you. Let me know if there is anything I can do to help."11
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I’ve mentioned before but I met a friend of my moms before I lost weight and then when we were introduced again after with my mom saying “you remember my daughter” her friend said “No I only met your other daughter.” But I’m the only one. Lol.14
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ExistingFish wrote: »How weird it is when you get to a place where most the people in your life only know you how you are now.
I've started my job, started going to a new church, started going to a new gym - all since losing weight. No one in my life knows I was ever overweight. In my mind, it's a "recent development", but to everyone else, it's just how they know me.
I guess its a good thing, but it's also kind of weird.
Yes. This.
I haven't changed all those things in my life, but I do meet new people . . . the disbelief, among people who didn't know me when I was fat, when they learn I was obese only a few years back: It's startling, and weird.
One thing I forgot to add was that I was going back to the church I quit going to with my family when I went off to college...so I was about the size I am now. They probably really don't think anything changed! (well, the husband and kids...)
My problem isn't that people don't believe me, but when people bring up trying to lose weight or exercise - I go to say what worked for me, and people look at me like I've got two heads, like I obviously didn't need to lose weight, I end up having to explain "now, you didn't know me then, but I was obese for most of my adult life...) it's weird to have to tell the backstory. In my head, I just know it, and when people meet me I think they just all assume this is the size I am/have been.11 -
I don't like it when people ask me how much I've lost (which seems to be really common!?)
Like if I put a number on it it will somehow validate the achievement?
Why do they need to know?
When I'm cagey about it they will push it and go "oh go on, you MUST know... is it around *insert number here*?"
It's pretty personal in my opinion and I don't get why it matters? If they think I'm looking good then they can just say that and move on?
(Yup - it's a real bug bear of mine!)
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One thing I've gotten WAY more often than expected is: "Can... Can I see your stomach?"
After losing 110lbs, and getting pretty lean overall they always expect a lot of loose skin. Fortunately I don't have that much.20 -
"Oh, you should stop, you're starting to look sickly"
"Which diet are you following?"
"Can you eat that?"
"I can tell you work out"
"You look like a whole new person" (This one actually hit me right in the feels, it was an old school mate, who hadn't seen me in years, and knew that I was overweight/obese nearly all my life. He said he barely recognised me)
"Women shouldn't have too much muscle"
"Are you developing an eating disorder?"
"All that water can't be healthy"
"You're getting so skinny, you should maintain that"
"You can't have anything more to lose"
"Want candy?"
"How do you do it?"
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CameronWhittaker wrote: »I hear most of the comments you guys have said, one in particular that confuses me.
When they ask what I have done I explain "stopped eating junk food, exercise more, and log every meal on an app.:
Then they say "oh you count calories???"
Like its a bad thing.. iv had some pretty significant results since I started logging, It's not the only thing iv been doing and I don't count super accurate, more like just to keep track...
But I don't get why people think counting calories is a bad thing.
I've had people ask what I do.
I reply "I count and track my food"
And usually I'm met with a long, confused look, then a laugh, sometimes a "nah, it can't be that simple" or a "you almost had me there".6 -
nitalieben wrote: »CameronWhittaker wrote: »I hear most of the comments you guys have said, one in particular that confuses me.
When they ask what I have done I explain "stopped eating junk food, exercise more, and log every meal on an app.:
Like its a bad thing.. iv had some pretty significant results since I started logging, It's not the only thing iv been doing and I don't count super accurate, more like just to keep track...
But I don't get why people think counting calories is a bad thing.
I've had people ask what I do.
I reply "I count and track my food"
And usually I'm met with a long, confused look, then a laugh, sometimes a "nah, it can't be that simple" or a "you almost had me there".
It's not QUITE that simple. I could count and track while eating too much and gain weight. In fact it happened from October through February! It's the third part that is NOT easy; keeping within a calorie budget. I guess that's assumed, but counting and tracking alone misses that one most important step. So that dialogue should be closer to:
"How do you do it?"
"I measure my food, track the calories, and strive to eat no more calories than I burn."
Or something like that.
The good thing is WE know that it works, and we can just keep doing it.4 -
I don't like it when people ask me how much I've lost (which seems to be really common!?)
Like if I put a number on it it will somehow validate the achievement?
Why do they need to know?
When I'm cagey about it they will push it and go "oh go on, you MUST know... is it around *insert number here*?"
It's pretty personal in my opinion and I don't get why it matters? If they think I'm looking good then they can just say that and move on?
(Yup - it's a real bug bear of mine!)
I like to believe it’s just a curiosity about what real weight loss looks like, relative to someone they actually know... what does 20lbs, 40lbs or 100lbs look like? Unless you’ve worked at losing it, it’s hard to visualise it... Heck, there are many threads of ‘before and after’ images here to remind ourselveswhat it looks like, and celebrate the journey!18
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