Immediate Gratification
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@socajam Makes me laugh a little to know I'm not alone. You're a better woman than I am. I'll nag mine until he puts it away. You have a valid point, though, it does raise my stress levels too to see it out but so does the thought of him thinking I'm his maid or his mommy.2
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I don't make this a big problem, or focus on having what I want when I want it. I think more in terms of what do fit people do? I copy what I think would be their behaviors. So. yeah.. fit hot people don't eat a whole pizza or cake and they are not reactionary; having to have fast food now or else. so I don't either.2
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@Diatonic12, Thank you for starting this enlightening post. I have been over shopping with 2 short bouts of over eating since the death of my fiance in December from COVID. Food was always my favorite sedative of choice since readily available and socially acceptable. and I engaged in many years of perfecting the process of sedation prior to joining MFP last March. Now that I no longer use food to avoid emotions, shopping replaced it. Would someone guide me towards ways to curb excessive shopping?7
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One of the best and most thoughtful threads I have come across in 8 years or so2
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You two.
@Beautyofdreams @janvcooper
This is something I have been working on for 5 years. I am convinced now more than ever that immediate gratification hinders long term weight stability. I do know a few who come by delayed gratification naturally. I observe them like the elusive creatures they are. I am fascinated with their thought processes. I want what they're having - moderation. They instinctively know how to moderate themselves with all foods.
They don't fuss and fight over food. It doesn't consume their thoughts, ever. They simply live, move and enjoy all of their being without giving their food portions a second thought. They have food skill sets and subsets and natural abilities and I'm simply amazed. Finding permanent weight stability can be that elusive butterfly for those who've been fighting this battle for a long time.
It's doable. There will be days when you just have to sit with your portions and desire to take more than your share. It's the same way in the animal kingdom. The squeaky wheel always gets the grease and takes the lion's share. I am working on delayed gratification. I have some mentors and they fan the flames of my desire to maintain permanent weight stability.
Ahhhh, there are those in high places and with whopping boatloads of money who can't find it either. Immediate gratification knows no boundaries. It takes and takes and takes until one day you draw your line in the sand and you rail against it. You choose by act of your will to fight against it taking another bite out of you. Come hail or high water you make your stand. You draw your line, make your mark and let nothing deter you. You get back UP on your feet and
you fight.
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Diatonic12 wrote: »You two.@Beautyofdreams @janvcooper
This is something I have been working on for 5 years. I am convinced now more than ever that immediate gratification hinders long term weight stability. I do know a few who come by delayed gratification naturally. I observe them like the elusive creatures they are. I am fascinated with their thought processes. I want what they're having - moderation. They instinctively know how to moderate themselves with all foods.
They don't fuss and fight over food. It doesn't consume their thoughts, ever. They simply live, move and enjoy all of their being without giving their food portions a second thought. They have food skill sets and subsets and natural abilities and I'm simply amazed. Finding permanent weight stability can be that elusive butterfly for those who've been fighting this battle for a long time.
It's doable. There will be days when you just have to sit with your portions and desire to take more than your share. It's the same way in the animal kingdom. The squeaky wheel always gets the grease and takes the lion's share. I am working on delayed gratification. I have some mentors and they fan the flames of my desire to maintain permanent weight stability.
Ahhhh, there are those in high places and with whopping boatloads of money who can't find it either. Immediate gratification knows no boundaries. It takes and takes and takes until one day you draw your line in the sand and you rail against it. You choose by act of your will to fight against it taking another bite out of you. Come hail or high water you make your stand. You draw your line, make your mark and let nothing deter you. You get back UP on your feet and
you fight.
These people are what cookie Rosenblum calls ‘natural eaters’ in her podcast called ‘weight loss made real’ Natural eaters have never had a weight problem. They eat when they’re a bit hungry and stop when they’re a bit full. They eat foods that treat them well.
They aren’t scared of hunger. They can say no (delay gratification) when they aren’t hungry.
It’s a brain based approach to weight loss and weight maintenance.
I’ve taken quite a lot from it. It may not appeal to mfp users because it shys away from counting calories (although I don’t see why you couldn’t incorporate the principles and count calories.) I think she’s worth a listen.
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I'm familiar with Intuitive Eating but it doesn't work for me. It's okay to work with a licensed dietitian and/or a medical professional and not be able to cure yourself from a book. It's okay not knowing when you're hungry or just bored. It's okay not to discern or rely on appetite cues. It's more than okay not lean on willpower and motivation which are limited resources.
The intuitive eaters I know don't have to spend any brain power continually sensing if they are hungry or full. Food and exercise doesn't occupy their minds at all. They're farmers and ranchers and have never been on a diet in their entire lifetime. They don't spend any energy giving any of this any thought and they never will. It's not the apex and focal points of their lives. I'm surrounded by them. They work hard for a living and have functional muscles. They don't have to go to the gym to duplicate the hard work they're doing outside around the clock. Immediate gratification vs. delayed gratification is a skill. That's why I'm still here tracking my data points.....this works for me.3 -
Same with me. The people I know just don't even think about it--my husband is one. It's just part of them and hard to learn.1
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At goal, I felt kind of stupid for not doing it sooner, especially given the big payoff. Reading that I have to be "in a peak state of performance" and have "an extreme delay of gratification" and that it will "require considerable effort" . . . that would make me feel tired before I even start. Stack that on top of all the blog-fog about how 80% of people regain (or whatever that big percent is), how calorie counting can't work, the importance of superfoods, the need for HIIT or other arcane intense exercise, the carb restrictions and fasting that are necessary, the hormones that will make my body try to defeat me, . . . and on and on and on? Sounds impossible. Why try?
ibid
that would be 25-30 years of ibid vs 6-7 of nope: it's the calories dumb-kitten. And if the choices made are reasonable and reasonably chosen with reasonable effort and care... there is hope. the definition of the values of what is reasonable, of course, differ!1 -
@Diatonic12 .... I love your new kitty!!!
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@Diatonic12 .... I love your new kitty!!!
Oooo, that lil thing?
She's a real wild cat, hail on wheels but still deserving of adoration. 1 -
https://www.banyanheartland.com/2019/12/04/why-delayed-gratification-is-the-key-to-long-term-sobriety/
"Is Delayed Gratification Good?
Yes, delayed gratification is a type of impulse control that can help with achieving long-term goals of health and pursuing the goal without being distracted by less substantial immediate gratification.
Delayed gratification allows people to hold strong against their withdrawals, cravings, and other challenges. There is a strong relationship between self-control and delayed gratification, with individuals needing strong impulse control skills to stick to their chosen path.
Delayed gratification is the act of focusing on building long-term success, even if it means enduring short-term discomfort. You work through the difficult present moment because you know that in the future, your work will pay off. Instant gratification, on the other hand, is ignoring the future and taking the immediate satisfaction available in the present moment."
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https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/how-to-avoid-the-temptations-of-immediate-gratification/
Neuroeconomists are investigating the brain to answer this question. They are interested in comparing the brain activity of individuals who act impulsively—those who choose rewards now over later.
Impulsivity may not be due to how long people are willing to wait for gratification. When people waited for a reward, patient people were seen—through the lens of a functional magnetic resonance imaging fMRI machine—imagining the future. In patient people, the researchers observed increased activity in the region of the brain that helps you think about the future -- the anterior prefrontal cortex. The patient individuals devoted more energy to imagining receiving their reward later.
For impulsive individuals who repeatedly make decisions that satisfy their current desires at the expense of their future needs, the negative effects on their health can be significant.
Future thinking associated with the anterior prefrontal cortex (aPFC), has also been found in neuropsychological studies that focus on prospective memory—remembering to do something in the future and episodic future thought—imagine a future outcome and activate their aPFC: imagining future rewards."
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