Mental Health

Hotelsma · April 2021

Anyone out there suffering with depression, stress, anxiety or any mental health through their weightloss journey feel free to post here. It’s good to talk 👍🏽

lorib642 · April 2021

Hi. I have a type of schizophrenia, called schizoaffective disorder. I also have social anxiety. I take medications which make me tired and can cause weight gain. I lost about 30 lbs a few years ago logging and watching calories. I have type 2 diabetes also, and am now in a keto program called Virta. It is medically supervised. My fasting glucose is not yet where my dr wants it, but it has dropped 20 pts. I have been losing about a lb/week which is similar to how I lost before. Had stopped logging and gained some weight, but I have lost that now. I still would like to lose about 20 lbs, but my main focus is on my glucose readings. Mentally I am doing well, stable. Thanks for posting.

Beautyofdreams · April 2021

I came on MFP March 8, 2020 with 5 pre-existing conditions that could lead to death if I were to contract Covid. I made a list of what I could control and diet and exercise topped it. Since then, I have lost 77 pounds. I attended therapy to get to the root of my over eating and am back in therapy now to learn emotional regulation and allow myself to feel emotions instead of sedating them with food or shopping. At the end of the last year my boyfriend of 9 years died of Covid . I miss his love and emotional support. Since then, I began to experience many unresolved feelings bubbling up as the weight has come off. At the end of last month I was interviewed about my weight loss and it triggered thoughts that I am an imposter. My self identity has always been fat, lazy, incompetent, slob, and outsider. My therapist is having me think about and write down my positive points and to recognize when negative self talk creeps in if these are my thoughts or what someone has said to me.

@Hotelsma thank you for starting this thread and wishing you success in your health journey.

ladynthereddress · April 2021

I really appreciate this thread.
I have lost people very close to me due to their struggles with mental illness. It is really important that people feel okay to talk about the subject.
I struggle with depression and anxiety. I have been struggling lately to keep up with the good habits I’ve been forming since January (in regards to weight loss and fitness) because I’m feeling a little low.
However, I do notice the more I keep up with it the more it helps my depressions and anxiety.

gaiaresurrected · April 2021

Timely discussion for me, thank you for opening the conversation. I have a boatload of medical conditions which impact on energy and appetite, the 'Mental Health' one is C-PTSD. The crossover/co-morbidity of the numerous issues is The Issue, but NHS services here in the UK are incredibly reductive, my Neurology Consultant 'only' deals with the pain-elements, the Consultant Psychiatrist has referred me onto a waiting list for Specialist Neurodevelopmental Services, my GP is adorable but restricted in what he can do, and the Brain Injury team have basically said "That's as good as you're going to get, you're better off than some!"

Trying to navigate my way through systems and processes that don't communicate with each other, after some life-altering medical issues, and then COVID have led to me being the heaviest, and most-unfit I've ever been in my life. It's not 'just' not being able to fasten my jeans, and I'm 'only' averagely-overweight. The fatigue from the medical shiz, and the lethargy from low mood have tag-teamed me, then the 'Just leave it, don't rock the boat' element of the C-PTSD joined in. I'm sure it meant well, a protective mechanism to prevent yet another burnout at first, but then the low mood path-of-least-resistance crept in, and I've had a two year holiday in the land of easier-not-to. I didn't take any photos, because I feel gross. (That's me in the avi-photo, there's a reason it's only a head-shot, and I *really* liked the way the badly exposed phone-photo in bright sunlight turned out. Liking a photo of myself was a big step.)

Food-mood-and-movement are inextricably linked, and my medical teams fluctuate between "Have you tried yoga?" and "You're not THAT overweight, you can look at addressing that when you're better!". Something in me 'snapped' at the end of March, probably putting batteries in the bathroom scales for an exercise in an Open University course I was doing. I have some 'sticky' behaviour patterns, and it would be very easy for me to tip into the obsessive end of monitoring weight and food. I decided not to go 'there', I'm weighing myself once a week, and actively looking at food as nourishment, and not merely fuel. (There's some disordered eating in my history, I don't particularly 'like' food, it's a chore, not a pleasure, and I don't really have a hunger-trigger.)

The initial mood-lift at 'taking control' was immense, it helped that the timing coincided with spring, more-daylight, and the ability to do more walking and gardening. I know I can't ride that dopamine/endorphin wave forever, so I'm looking to embed healthier habits until they become routine. I feel better 'in myself' since committing to this, but I'm not naïve enough to think there won't be troughs as well as peaks. (I'm only 3 weeks in, and I've already had a few episodes of don't-want-to, and not-MORE-kale.) I'm doing this for *me*, my physical health impacts on my mental state, causing a self-perpetuating loop-of-doom, and I don't want to be in the what's-the-point end of the Mental Health spectrum again.

I've abused this physical body over the years, and I know it's the only one I'm going to get, despite all the bits of metal in various parts of me, I'm not going to become a cyborg, I need to take better care of what I have, for me, and to avoid becoming a burden on over-stretched services. 'Taking control' is a useful part of my C-PTSD, and, for me, having the self-accountability of the MFP platform, rather than someone 'outside' telling me I ought to 'Go for a nice walk with friends' works. This is my self-care, I don't do beauty treatments, spa-days, or even really 'me time' (Part of the MH issues, I have no self-compassion, and don't see value in 'wasting' time on the usual trite nonsense practitioners suggest, if there's no tangible outcome, what's the point?) if I can get back into my jeans without a shoe-horn, contortions, and feeling like I'm being sawed in half, that's a positive side-effect; the actual aim is to improve my emotional state, and physical strength as far as I can, to give myself a more solid foundation to move forwards from.

AlexandraFindsHerself1971 · April 2021

I am autistic and have ADHD. I have a boyfriend and a girlfriend, and they both have DID and PTSD with anxiety, one has a mood disorder and one has an alter with borderline personality disorder issues. My job is to give them the support they need to live their best lives, and I need to be in good shape to do it, especially as I get older and the effects of bad decisions of my youth start to ache in the mornings.

For a long time I thought I couldn't lose weight. Because to lose weight I'd have to stop eating wheat and start eating lots of vegetables, and I have IBS and it does not like a lot of the vegetables. And I thought to lose weight I'd have to take up running, and that's just not possible on this rebuilt foot. But I don't know why it took me several years to realize that I don't do anything just like everyone else, I don't know why I'd do weight loss just like everyone else either.

So far I've had great success with portion control. While I can't get a custom corset till I'm at goal, I can eat like I'm in a corset: Small portions, slowly, and cut back drinking with meals. It's lost me fifty pounds, and while I still have about eighty to lose, I'm feeling all the benefits of it now. Adding in exercise is proving a little difficult, but I'm working that out.

Hotelsma · April 2021

Good morning all.

Thank for you all for being open and honest about your stories. Just to give you a brief of my story. I’ve had weight issues my entire life. I was a fat kid and as you can imagine being made a joke of it all your life. As I got into my 20s I started taking care of myself and got started to get fitter and life became rosey. Shorty after I lost my dad and it all kind of started from there. I was with him at the time and the trauma lives with me to this day. In the proceeding years my weight began to fluctuate and life started becoming very stagnant. Didn’t know what to do with my life was going nowhere. i started to loose my hair and for any youngish man it was terrifying as my self esteem took a battering. As time went on I became one with it and moved on. I met someone and we decided to get married, finally my life was starting to take some direction. My mums health started to deteriorate and then she passed away. As you can imagine this hit me lie a tonne of bricks. My wife to be was there to keep me going in that time. Suddenly I had a unexpected health issue which required hospitalisation. At this point things started getting hard for me and my fiancé as she had her problems with her mum. We decided to take a break to sort our issues out and I found out later she moved on without really breaking up. This destroyed me and my one hope in life went. This sent me into a real bad way. Never did I felt so low in my entire life. The grief of my mother started to take its toll. I lost both my parents by the age of 32 and felt lost. Your parents are your guardian angels and when they gone a void in your life will appear like no other.

In between all those dramas I had a best friend. Well more than that. It was my ex gf. The best way to describe it was a “situationship” if you don’t know what that is YouTube it lol. We went from being each other’s best friends to hating each other. Relationship break ups are traumatic, friendship breakups are not any different just less kissing involved lol. I began to experience more health problems and my mental state started to rapidly decline again which In turn made be balloon in weight. I realised I had a toxic relationship with food. When things went bad I’d comfort eat and I couldn’t do anything to stop it.

Slowly my health started to get better so did my mind and then what happens COVID!!!!! I lost my younger brother to this so you can imagine what happened to me next. I just got fed up of living with contact tragedy. I didn’t mention when I was 8/9 I lost a brother to suicide too. Loosing four members in one family was too much for me too take. At this point life wasn’t worth living anymore. I’m a good person with a big heart and I didn’t deserve this. I came into work everyday since the pandemic began while most worked from home. My saviour became my colleagues. I would work on my days off and extra hours just to cope. Oh I forgot to mention my sister blames us for my bros death. Don’t ask but we havnt spoken for a year too.

One thing that helped me was that I started to go running everyday. As the gyms were closed I needed to something before my weight went out of control again. I noticed that it helped my mood on days so kept carrying on as much as I hated it.

The situation with covid mirrored my Mental state. As things got better in the U.K. and vaccines roll out I felt better and better. A couple of months ago our office decided to do a weightloss challenge and I decided to take part. I came second and lost 1 and half stones which is 20 pounds to my American friends in little under 7 weeks. I did it with a Keto diet which included KFC yes KFC, crisps (potato chips) with added exercise. I can honesty say that since I have felt a lot better and gained back some focus. It’s amazing how much your physical well-being and self happiness impacts your mental health. I still have few medical issues which I must go get checked up every year which caused me great anxiety but I’m am looking at ways to manage it.

That my story in brief lol. I hope you didn’t fall asleep readying this. Oh one thing I must add is without my friends I would of caved. They have been there and will be forever indebted to them.

I find taking to people like minded who understand mental health helps the most. So please feel free to come on here anytime to talk.

zyxst · April 2021

I have major depressive disorder (MDD), social anxiety, generalized anxiety, and all the 'fun' of peri-menopause.

Lost 183#, looked great, then my physical health went to shizzle. I joined the ranks of iron deficiency (still don't know where the iron went; doctors said 'your period' wtf?). Stress eating. Got on medications for MDD and menopause. COVID hit. Hubby is home all day so there's nowhere for me to go to get away from people. Gained 95ish# in 3 years (133 to 227).

I'm very PO'ed reading about younger/healthier getting their COVID shot(s) while I'm staying home impatiently waiting for September to arrive so I *might* put my name on a long-butt waiting list for the vax. The cherry on top is learning COVID vax is same as flu vax, ie you have to get it every year. *facepalm*

owieprone · April 2021

Gaiaresurrected your brain injury team need a good punch in the face!

Good luck on your journey to where you want to be.

gaiaresurrected · April 2021

owieprone wrote: »

Gaiaresurrected your brain injury team need a good punch in the face!

Good luck on your journey to where you want to be.

That made me chuckle. Brain injury isn't a linear 'recovery', and, in the first couple of years, I massively internalised the "That might improve over time!" throwaway comments, and assumed it was *me* just not-trying-hard-enough. It wasn't, I have lumps of metal in my brain sealing one ruptured and one unruptured aneurysm, and a cluster of 'incidental' aneurysms that are too close to my brain stem and Internal Carotid Artery to be viable for surgery without a very high risk of damaging something important. (Sucks to be me, but I haven't set any scanners off, and had to explain that I have brain-piercings yet.)

Part of the "Some people aren't so lucky!" is irrefutably true, I walked out of the hospital with my shoes on the right feet, but being a walking-talking-living-doll worked against me, the whacking great scar isn't visible because I part my hair to cover it, so nobody knows I had three rounds of brain surgery inside 12 months unless I tell them. There's a loss/bereavement issue tangled up in with the C-PTSD, the NHS did save a life, but it wasn't my 'before' life, if I'd had a limb amputated there's be a visible prosthetic, as it stands, sometimes, I feel like I have a 'wooden brain' where a pirate might have a 'wooden leg'.

Some people do have it much worse; some days I don't feel 'lucky' at all, but I've made this conscious choice to be more forgiving of my body and mind, whilst stretching and challenging them as far as I can. Being chunky, and taking days to recover after carrying groceries home weren't conducive to a positive mindset, taking control of what I can, within safe parameters feels productive, and I'm hoping to stick with it.

snowflake954 · April 2021

gaiaresurrected wrote: »

owieprone wrote: »

Gaiaresurrected your brain injury team need a good punch in the face!

Good luck on your journey to where you want to be.

That made me chuckle. Brain injury isn't a linear 'recovery', and, in the first couple of years, I massively internalised the "That might improve over time!" throwaway comments, and assumed it was *me* just not-trying-hard-enough. It wasn't, I have lumps of metal in my brain sealing one ruptured and one unruptured aneurysm, and a cluster of 'incidental' aneurysms that are too close to my brain stem and Internal Carotid Artery to be viable for surgery without a very high risk of damaging something important. (Sucks to be me, but I haven't set any scanners off, and had to explain that I have brain-piercings yet.)

Part of the "Some people aren't so lucky!" is irrefutably true, I walked out of the hospital with my shoes on the right feet, but being a walking-talking-living-doll worked against me, the whacking great scar isn't visible because I part my hair to cover it, so nobody knows I had three rounds of brain surgery inside 12 months unless I tell them. There's a loss/bereavement issue tangled up in with the C-PTSD, the NHS did save a life, but it wasn't my 'before' life, if I'd had a limb amputated there's be a visible prosthetic, as it stands, sometimes, I feel like I have a 'wooden brain' where a pirate might have a 'wooden leg'.

Some people do have it much worse; some days I don't feel 'lucky' at all, but I've made this conscious choice to be more forgiving of my body and mind, whilst stretching and challenging them as far as I can. Being chunky, and taking days to recover after carrying groceries home weren't conducive to a positive mindset, taking control of what I can, within safe parameters feels productive, and I'm hoping to stick with it.

I enjoy your posts. I'm of the "Do the best you can with what you've got" group. Keep going--you've come far.

gaiaresurrected · April 2021

snowflake954 wrote: »

gaiaresurrected wrote: »

owieprone wrote: »

Gaiaresurrected your brain injury team need a good punch in the face!

Good luck on your journey to where you want to be.

That made me chuckle. Brain injury isn't a linear 'recovery', and, in the first couple of years, I massively internalised the "That might improve over time!" throwaway comments, and assumed it was *me* just not-trying-hard-enough. It wasn't, I have lumps of metal in my brain sealing one ruptured and one unruptured aneurysm, and a cluster of 'incidental' aneurysms that are too close to my brain stem and Internal Carotid Artery to be viable for surgery without a very high risk of damaging something important. (Sucks to be me, but I haven't set any scanners off, and had to explain that I have brain-piercings yet.)

Part of the "Some people aren't so lucky!" is irrefutably true, I walked out of the hospital with my shoes on the right feet, but being a walking-talking-living-doll worked against me, the whacking great scar isn't visible because I part my hair to cover it, so nobody knows I had three rounds of brain surgery inside 12 months unless I tell them. There's a loss/bereavement issue tangled up in with the C-PTSD, the NHS did save a life, but it wasn't my 'before' life, if I'd had a limb amputated there's be a visible prosthetic, as it stands, sometimes, I feel like I have a 'wooden brain' where a pirate might have a 'wooden leg'.

Some people do have it much worse; some days I don't feel 'lucky' at all, but I've made this conscious choice to be more forgiving of my body and mind, whilst stretching and challenging them as far as I can. Being chunky, and taking days to recover after carrying groceries home weren't conducive to a positive mindset, taking control of what I can, within safe parameters feels productive, and I'm hoping to stick with it.

I enjoy your posts. I'm of the "Do the best you can with what you've got" group. Keep going--you've come far.

The ex used to say a less family-friendly version of "You can only wee with the willy you have.", which pretty much sums it up, I can only work with the tools I have, this is the hand I've been dealt, and I have to work with, within, and around it. We all do, and having a wrecked body along with a wonky brain wasn't helping my overall mindset.

I'm not Mary Poppins, even my blood-group is negative, but wallowing in "I can't" wasn't helpful. There are things I can't do, and I accept that, but I'm inquisitive, and inventive, I can work around if-I-can't-do-THAT-I'll-do-this. I'm also an impetuous idiot, and moved far too much in the garden yesterday, my body is complaining about that today, so I'm listening to those signals, and taking it a little easier.

blair698 · June 2021

Hi I struggle with anxiety, depression and tinnitus, I am the heaviest I have ever been and keep trying to restart my weight loss journey, it is never consistent which frustrates me and makes me feel worse that I cant achieve something that should be so straightforward. I know eating healthier and exercising will improve my mental health however as much as I want to exercise I just cant seem to get the motivation to do it, feel rubbish then eat unhealthy foods. I feel overwhelmed with work, study and home trying to fit everything in and feel I'm just struggling to focus and plan time for everything which increases my anxiety and my sleep pattern. Sorry for the long post it is the first time opening up on this.

lmf1012 · June 2021

Losing weight, eating better, exercising can seem overwhelming if you try to do it all at once, and probably even more so for you.

Living a healthier lifestyle is not a race to some finish line, take your time by implementing one small beneficial change at a time.

Once you start finding some success, you can build upon that momentum and take on more!

Mangoperson88 · June 2021

I have always been suicidal since my early years. I have tried to kill myself at least a 100 times but fortunately/unfortunately I failed at it like i do at everything else. I don't have friends coz I have such serious mental health issues that it's difficult for me to bond with people and I've always attracted the wrong types. After years and years of psychiatric meds I am much better- don't feel very suicidal and my hallucinations are under control. I'm much better now but I have phobias that make it difficult for me to do anything in my life.

Hotelsma · June 2021

blair698 wrote: »

Hi I struggle with anxiety, depression and tinnitus, I am the heaviest I have ever been and keep trying to restart my weight loss journey, it is never consistent which frustrates me and makes me feel worse that I cant achieve something that should be so straightforward. I know eating healthier and exercising will improve my mental health however as much as I want to exercise I just cant seem to get the motivation to do it, feel rubbish then eat unhealthy foods. I feel overwhelmed with work, study and home trying to fit everything in and feel I'm just struggling to focus and plan time for everything which increases my anxiety and my sleep pattern. Sorry for the long post it is the first time opening up on this.

@blair698

No need to apologise, opening up is the best thing to do and we welcome it.

Your story sounds just like mine including the god dam TINNITUS so if you need to talk holla whenever

Hotelsma · June 2021

Frompumpkin2cinderella wrote: »

I have always been suicidal since my early years. I have tried to kill myself at least a 100 times but fortunately/unfortunately I failed at it like i do at everything else. I don't have friends coz I have such serious mental health issues that it's difficult for me to bond with people and I've always attracted the wrong types. After years and years of psychiatric meds I am much better- don't feel very suicidal and my hallucinations are under control. I'm much better now but I have phobias that make it difficult for me to do anything in my life.

@Frompumpkin2cinderella

Man I am soooooooo glad to read the end part. Happy your on a road to recovery.

Work on one thing at a time. We all done some sort of phobias but keep doing what you doing and the rest will follow.

Br00klynbaby90 · November 2021

Best way is to workout and also incorporate meditation it has-been helping me look up insight timer it's a great meditation app

candysashab88 · November 2021

I do have some issues but I am working through them. Some days are better than others.

tolvinle · November 2021

Yes, I have been dealing with stress, depression, and anxiety. A lot of which has contributed to my ballooning weight. About 3 months ago, I started seeing a clinical psychologist who specializes in weight loss/lifestyle/eating disorders and it has really helped me with both weight loss and addressing my mental health issues.
I really recommend a specialist in cases like this, if you have access to them.

doolha · November 2021

Hi!

I'm super new here and actually started thinking about losing weight because I finally broke down and had to get help for my mental health (and was admitted to the psych ward for a bit because I wasn't doing well at all). Now I'm working on changing my life and thoughts and view of myself, which includes my weight, with the help of my therapist. :')

I come from an awful family so I've been having panic attacks since I was a child. As a teenager, I became really depressed, but then had a few very good years. In 2018, I suffered an extremely traumatic loss (losing my child) and lost all will to live. I received a lot of help, medication, and therapy, and was doing slightly better - and then Covid hit. My panic disorder took that as a chance to not go outside again - like, at all - and in the end, I just _couldn't_ go outside anymore. Yay!

Sooo, basically I'm working on my fear of going outside, my unreasonably low stamina, and my weight. This is the heaviest I've ever been and I can't stand my own body anymore.

Would love to make some friends, feel free to add me.

Mental Health

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