We broke up because...
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She told me my head was too big for my body, like a baby!👶0
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She bedazzled all of her pjs - it was costly in money, time, and my flesh which was always mauled by the rhinestone settings.0
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She always has these mysterious wounds all over her body, maybe the plague? 😰0
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She made me feel self conscious about my freckles....0
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I love waterfalls too... But after she pushed me in knowing I couldn't swim, she'd giggle and say ...
" Oh... Did you fall in the water?"0 -
But we haven't1
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She called me chubby and tried to set me up with an obnoxious guy who gets on my nerves0
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I tried making her happy but she always focused on the negative like when I accidentally burned the kitchen down, or crashed the car and maybe I let some of our pets die. Nobody’s perfect!🙄 Oh well!🤷🏽♀️
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She ran out of Spicy Peanuts !0
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He was a spicy peanuts hoarder, I had to hide them in the shed!🤫0
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SO that's where they went !! Now I know why you kept running out back1
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😆
Cheated at Scrabble, kickinit isn’t a word!1 -
She hoarded food in her cheeks and I'm not talkin' on her face 😖0
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She squeezed my cheeks one too many times...and im not talkin bout my rear end1
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She would always hide her junk in the trunk1
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Because she shaved her head and had a moustache0
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cause she wanted me to shave my head and my beard1
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He saved his nose and ear clippings in little glass jars. Hmmm.....0
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She had a collection of body parts kept in jars from her Ex 😨0
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She never had a problem playing by herself 😜0
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