How do I convince my brain to lose weight?
Steve25k
Posts: 125 Member
I know that I need to lose weight.
I know how to lose weight.
But for some reason my brain just doesn't get it.
I seem to be constantly thinking about what I can eat and how I can go out and buy junk food. I feel terrible eating it and tell myself it needs to stop, but then the next day I'm the same.
I saw myself on the ring camera yesterday and was a little surprised how I look. What I saw on the camera is not what I see in the mirror but it is probably a more accurate reflection of how I look to others.
I need to lose weight but I need to start by getting my head in the game.
Do you have any hints/tips/experience on how your got your mind straight?
I know how to lose weight.
But for some reason my brain just doesn't get it.
I seem to be constantly thinking about what I can eat and how I can go out and buy junk food. I feel terrible eating it and tell myself it needs to stop, but then the next day I'm the same.
I saw myself on the ring camera yesterday and was a little surprised how I look. What I saw on the camera is not what I see in the mirror but it is probably a more accurate reflection of how I look to others.
I need to lose weight but I need to start by getting my head in the game.
Do you have any hints/tips/experience on how your got your mind straight?
15
Replies
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I had the same problem. Just before covid hit, I knew I had to try and get back on a good diet and go workout again. The pandemic happened and then that just made me stay home and be lazy. I DoorDashed food almost everyday and living in San Diego, I ate a bunch of Mexican food. Every week I told myself, alright after this day, I’m dieting and exercising, but it never happened. Basically repeat this for a whole year, I gained probably 15-20 pounds during covid. I always looked at myself in the mirror every morning, disappointed on how I looked. Like I knew I had to eat better and lose weight, but the thought of eating healthy food sounded boring and I got tired easily from doing small exercises.
In March of this year, when it was announced that gyms were opening again in my area, I told myself once more, alright I’m going to go workout and eat good. I knew for a fact that I lost a lot of strength when I did weight training and a lot of my stamina when I did cardio on the treadmill. But I felt good at the end of the workout. I also went through the first day without eating junk. That spark kinda just motivated me to do it again.
I think to me, the first week is tough. Resisting all the junk food that is being bought by sibilings or what not and the foods that are being made by your mother that is not diet friendly. I REALLY LOVE FOOD, like it killed me when I saw my brother eating carne asada fries from our local Mexican restaurant and I didn’t get one bite. Although a tear drop may have rolled down my cheek. If you can get through that first week, I think you would be set. I actually enjoy going to the gym and looking forward to going after my rest days. I’m learning a lot of new things and it helps me keep going.
I started at 264 lbs in March this year and right now I weigh 242 lbs. it felt so quick, these passed almost 3 months. Sorry I wrote such a long post, but I hope you’ll get on the grind soon13 -
I have spent the last few years on again and off again but never fully engaged with the process. Like you, I knew exactly what to do but just couldn’t get it going.
I don’t know that I have any good tips but I just finally got sick enough with how I looked and felt that I made a real plan to change.
Having a plan of what I am going to eat has been the single most important thing that has helped me. If I do not know what dinner will be, I will eat something that is easy and off plan likely.3 -
So there's tricks but you won't like them. One thing I do is plan a walk and not bring money each day. So if you can't resist the snacks lock down your wallet in a way that hinders you buying them. Also find lower calorie substitutions that are good. I eat Van's gluten free waffels with 90% fewer calories light cabin syrup and it's half the calories as the regular options but tastes the same. After that portion control is a huge issue. I suggest using smaller plates and making sure you drink 3liters of water per day. After having each of your lower calorie meals wait 20minutes and then reassess your hunger level. High salt and sugar can also increase your appetite. Cut out liquid calories swap normal soda and energy drinks for 0cal options. Then of course exercise... start with exercise you can do and build from there a lot of people screw up by trying stuff there body hasn't worked up to and they burn out really fast. Start with some walking and body weight exercises or some swimming. If you really want to change it will take a significant amount of work but it will be worth it. Just keep trying my friend.5
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Also getting groceries delivered can break the habit of guilty pleasure trips down the snack aisles too.8
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Seems like you need a *pop* moment in your brain. Happened to me in 2014 when I quit smoking (after 15 years or so).
In a way you need to "make an inner journey" and look for this moment. Pay close attention to yourself and what's going on around you, you need to be very conscious. What helped me this time with fit journey was "Holy *kitten* Moment" by James Fell, which is about epiphanies and how they can change lives and how to kind of seek them around you. Only recommend if you're ok with swearing in your literature though.3 -
LOL, did not realize they had censorship here!
The book is called "Holy **** Moment". No kittens involved.3 -
Take baby steps, the thought of overhauling your whole diet and lifestyle is daunting and that's what keeping you from changing. Change little by little and build up new habits slowly. When it becomes a habit, it will be easier.
What you could do:
1. start logging for a week or two. Don't change anything in your current way of life, but log it honestly. It will give you some base data to work on.
2. after a week or two you look at that data and start to think what you could ditch or substitute. Here also: baby steps, just minor tweaks.
3. and then maybe walk a little around the neighborhood. Nothing major, just a 15 or 30 minute fun walk when you would otherwise watch tv or game instead.
Loosing slowly slowly will allow you to keep it off for much longer.
Good luck !5 -
I know that I need to lose weight.
I know how to lose weight.
But for some reason my brain just doesn't get it.
I seem to be constantly thinking about what I can eat and how I can go out and buy junk food. I feel terrible eating it and tell myself it needs to stop, but then the next day I'm the same.
I saw myself on the ring camera yesterday and was a little surprised how I look. What I saw on the camera is not what I see in the mirror but it is probably a more accurate reflection of how I look to others.
I need to lose weight but I need to start by getting my head in the game.
Do you have any hints/tips/experience on how your got your mind straight?
It is without a doubt the hardest part! You know we've been here years and I lost a good chunk in 2017 but have regained it in 2018 and have been unable to shift my mindset long term in the last couple of years.
When I do well it's because I make time to set non-weight goals that contribute to weight loss without directly focusing on weight related goals and make an effort to look after my wellbeing. I am at my worst when I am under pressure at work (working longer hours and on call over nights, early mornings and weekends). So I am trying my best to focus on managing my work stress through meditation, spending time disconnected from work/life and just generally doing things that bring me joy.0 -
Many thanks all, there are some good things for me to remember here:
- have a food plan
- track food
- take away temptation
- find a positive reason for change
- small steps
3 -
The best thing I ever had happen to me was I actually stopped caring so much about losing weight. What I mean is that instead of become so emotionally invested in how or how much weight I was losing I started loving the process of it. I focused on how healthy food made me feel great and how I started falling in love with walking because it made me so happy and relaxed. I literally gained a few pounds the other week out of no where (water weight) and while I did get slight irritated I quickly moved on and continued to do what I always do because I enjoy doing it. Before I would most likely be dwelling on it cause it was my end result. Now I just care about the process. My best advice would be don’t worry about losing the weight but instead try falling In love with the process and how it makes you feel. Go out for a walk and just put on some music,podcast or a book and just enjoy the walk for how it made you feel calm and relaxed. Then slowly introduce better healthier food options and go from there. Your brain will learn to love it and you’ll lose weight without all the negative emotions that come along with it. Most likely you just subconsciously hate the idea of going through that whole I need to lose weight mentality and maybe just try to approach it from a different angle.8
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Excuse me if this is nitpicking but consider this- who says you “need” to lose weight? What if you don’t? You don’t like the way you look. How is that so terrible? Overweight? Chances are you look like scores of other people.
I started weight loss from a different place. I was 44, had sleep apnea, HBP, debilitating back pain and a seemingly permanent cough. I weighed 285 lbs. it was going to either outright kill me or result in a stroke. We had 2 little kids. So the first step for me was deciding if I wanted to live or die. I think that’s “need to lose weight” kind of thinking.
Later I became stuck around 218 lbs. Years. But life was good. I had found the gym. Trained with weights and built my body. My wife liked the results. I ran my kids into the ground in the parks in Orlando. But I had that nagging voice. I was nowhere near a healthy BMI. I wanted to lose more.
Do you want to lose weight? Wanting is different that needing. Try this- piece of paper, line down the middle. Why you want to lose weight in column 1, why you don’t column 2. Think it over. Write everything down even if it seems silly.
Now look at your lists and try to make a plan that might get each side some of what it wants. Avoid the temptation to beat down the don’t side. Dieting is a pain in the neck. Everyone has reasons to resist. Respect those reasons because they are yours. Respecting your resistance is the first step to respecting your decision to change. For example, you can lose weight and eat junk food. But it’s not going to be all you want whenever you want. You need to accept some limits and make a plan.
But you can work anything into a plan within limits. Weight loss has two parts- eating in a calorie deficit and living with it. There’s a tendency to go all in on the deficit and try to beat ourselves into living with it. Generally doesn’t work. The best plan is one we will actually follow.
How to get your mind straight? Pay attention to what you say to yourself. It’s important. As a friend said to me once- the fat is mostly in our heads. Good luck.9 -
I understand how hard it is to get motivated. You have to want it. It’s hard work. The big thing for me is to take it one day at a time.
Here are some other things I recommend:
1) Stop telling yourself you will “start tomorrow” when you get hungry the first day.
2) set small goals. I tell myself “by my anniversary I will be down to this weight”. “By my birthday I will be at this weight” The goal is never more than 1 lb a week. Time goes by and a year from now you can be at your goal weight or you can be in the same miserable place. Just start today.
3) forgive yourself if you eat too much sometimes. Some days are REALLY hard and I’m really hungry and I want to stress eat everything. It’s usually because I’m tired or upset about something. I have to white knuckle through the entire day to not overeat. BUT The next morning I wake up and I feel happy because I made it through ONE MORE DAY. Sometimes I do overeat and I feel horrible the next day. I just get back on it. I don’t totally give up.
4) find something to do besides eating, go for a walk, go to the store, plant some flowers, clean your house etc
5) walk every day. I try to get in an hour a day but I do it throughout the day.
6) don’t eat too little. Cut your calories to just lose 1 lb a week. That’s just a 500 calorie deficit a day. I set my calories in MFP as inactive and eat back my exercise calories. I wear an Apple Watch and count just my active exercise calories. I don’t always eat them all back either. This motivates me to exercise.
Don’t expect to be perfect every day. Good luck!2 -
Take the challenge to prepare all your own food for a month. Want a burger and fries? Make them. Find other foods you like while you're at it. Doesn't need to be fancy, but, you can learn to cook anything from YouTube.
If you do that for a while you won't ever want fast food again.4 -
I read something last night that stuck with me this morning. It was something like - A fixation with the end goal demeans the here and now. It renders the moments we live less important than the place we want to go.
This means that I need to learn to love the process, the journey, and not focus solely on the end result.
Exactly as many of you had said:What I mean is that instead of become so emotionally invested in how or how much weight I was losing I started loving the process of it.
I think I am embarassed by the process, I want to hide away and do it on my own. Admitting I'm trying to lose weight means admitting that I am obese. It's obvious that I'm obese, everyone can see it's true, but I think in my head if I don't admit it, it isn't a problem.
I think my goal should be to "be healthy" and I can start that today - I can't start to "be thin" or "be 100lbs lighter" today.7 -
Unfortunately what hits your brain hard is a health scare. Many people come on board because of it. I would suggest not waiting that long. Good luck to you.5
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Grow as a person to become smaller😁
Life gets so much easier when you focus on yourself and how things make you feel then thinking what that action might bring you.
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I read something last night that stuck with me this morning. It was something like - A fixation with the end goal demeans the here and now. It renders the moments we live less important than the place we want to go.
This means that I need to learn to love the process, the journey, and not focus solely on the end result.
Exactly as many of you had said:What I mean is that instead of become so emotionally invested in how or how much weight I was losing I started loving the process of it.
I think I am embarassed by the process, I want to hide away and do it on my own. Admitting I'm trying to lose weight means admitting that I am obese. It's obvious that I'm obese, everyone can see it's true, but I think in my head if I don't admit it, it isn't a problem.
I think my goal should be to "be healthy" and I can start that today - I can't start to "be thin" or "be 100lbs lighter" today.
That brain shift for me--from eating less to "lose weight" to making better choices/eating less to be healthy--was what made the difference for me.
There's been a lot of great advice already but I don't think I see it yet, but one thing successful people will tell you is to rely on discipline rather than motivation. Motivation comes and goes, but discipline is something you can cultivate for long-lasting success. The thing is with discipline, your goal has to be important enough to you to stick with it when it gets tough, or pick yourself back up when you fall off the wagon a bit. View mistakes or falling off the wagon as opportunities to learn rather than excuse to just throw in the towel.
As others have said, start with small, sustainable changes. Maybe for now that means logging your food without the intent to restrict it initially, just so you get an idea how much you eat and where you can start to make changes. Remember, these are habits you want to build for life (maybe not necessarily the tracking part), so if it feels way too hard right now and the end goal isn't big enough to overcome that, you may fail.4 -
Excuse me if this is nitpicking but consider this- who says you “need” to lose weight? What if you don’t? You don’t like the way you look. How is that so terrible? Overweight? Chances are you look like scores of other people.
I started weight loss from a different place. I was 44, had sleep apnea, HBP, debilitating back pain and a seemingly permanent cough. I weighed 285 lbs. it was going to either outright kill me or result in a stroke. We had 2 little kids. So the first step for me was deciding if I wanted to live or die. I think that’s “need to lose weight” kind of thinking.
Later I became stuck around 218 lbs. Years. But life was good. I had found the gym. Trained with weights and built my body. My wife liked the results. I ran my kids into the ground in the parks in Orlando. But I had that nagging voice. I was nowhere near a healthy BMI. I wanted to lose more.
Do you want to lose weight? Wanting is different that needing. Try this- piece of paper, line down the middle. Why you want to lose weight in column 1, why you don’t column 2. Think it over. Write everything down even if it seems silly.
Now look at your lists and try to make a plan that might get each side some of what it wants. Avoid the temptation to beat down the don’t side. Dieting is a pain in the neck. Everyone has reasons to resist. Respect those reasons because they are yours. Respecting your resistance is the first step to respecting your decision to change. For example, you can lose weight and eat junk food. But it’s not going to be all you want whenever you want. You need to accept some limits and make a plan.
But you can work anything into a plan within limits. Weight loss has two parts- eating in a calorie deficit and living with it. There’s a tendency to go all in on the deficit and try to beat ourselves into living with it. Generally doesn’t work. The best plan is one we will actually follow.
How to get your mind straight? Pay attention to what you say to yourself. It’s important. As a friend said to me once- the fat is mostly in our heads. Good luck.
I read this post because I can strongly relate to the OP. I've lost weight before, and regained most of it. While I have all the reasons, thinking about it has just made me feel incredibly tired - and maybe even fuelled the weight-gaining behaviours. I tried making this list and I was so surprised by how many things I have in the "no" column.
I've had several health scares already, but no real moment of inspiration. When I did lose before, it was definitely falling in love with the process. It was basically my only hobby. Now I worry if I try to lose again I'll lose my other hobbies!
(among other equally silly "no" reasons) lol.
I realized half of my "yes" reasons could be achieved at least partially without losing weight, but by just exercising regularly. I'd be pretty happy if I could do more regardless. I might focus on just that for a while, maybe to give the cognitive dissonance a rest, and work on addressing some of the sillier "no" reasons over time
Thanks for this!3 -
I was in the same place. I feel that I need to 'brainwash' myself into the mindset by reading fitness forums/podcasts, etc.
You have to get it in your mind motivated.0
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