Not discussed enough......
ninerbuff
Posts: 48,454 Member
The forums cover a lot on diets and exercise, but IMO it doesn't address the one main thing that I believe all successful people have that helped them achieve their success........................................ATTITUDE.
Let's face it, you can have all the right info, all the right equipment for cooking, prepping, working out, etc. but if your ATTITUDE sucks, then good luck with being successful.
There are lots and lots of successful people who didn't have all of the above, yet managed along even when stalls (not plateaus), obstacles, interfering loved ones/friends/family got involved, tough situations, hardships, job, etc. because they had an ATTITUDE that even with all that, they will continue on a consistent program and succeed.
There are so many people that friended me because they wanted to follow me or learn and within a month or so, are gone. All that tells me is that they didn't have the attitude to apply themselves to doing what they were trying to achieve. Personally my best clients are the ones who fail reaching their weekly goal, but have the tenacity to continue on even if that goal one pound loss was only a half pound loss. They keep making the decision to continue even though it's not exactly what they desire. But in the long run (which for the majority is what it is) they did/will reach their goal and I believe appreciate it more than someone who loses fast and then only stays there a short time because they believe they can do it again if it happens again.
Not everything is going to go your way. You can do everything right and still get so so results. You can have a great week, then one that sucks. You can have a loss, then a gain. And those with that ATTITUDE that it's just part of the process will understand this rather than quit or give up.
So check YOUR ATTITUDE. How do you really feel? Do you bash yourself or your program because results are slow or almost non existent? Do you throw your hands up and then go binge because you don't think all this is worth it?
One thing I have to remind my clients sometimes is that it's not always going to be easy. You have to get a backbone instead of a wishbone. Suck it up, take the bad with the good and understand it will all come together IF your ATTITUDE is one that you will prevail regardless.
"It's your ATTITUDE, not your APTITUDE, that determines your ALTITUDE".
Hope your weekend is great! Mine always is.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Let's face it, you can have all the right info, all the right equipment for cooking, prepping, working out, etc. but if your ATTITUDE sucks, then good luck with being successful.
There are lots and lots of successful people who didn't have all of the above, yet managed along even when stalls (not plateaus), obstacles, interfering loved ones/friends/family got involved, tough situations, hardships, job, etc. because they had an ATTITUDE that even with all that, they will continue on a consistent program and succeed.
There are so many people that friended me because they wanted to follow me or learn and within a month or so, are gone. All that tells me is that they didn't have the attitude to apply themselves to doing what they were trying to achieve. Personally my best clients are the ones who fail reaching their weekly goal, but have the tenacity to continue on even if that goal one pound loss was only a half pound loss. They keep making the decision to continue even though it's not exactly what they desire. But in the long run (which for the majority is what it is) they did/will reach their goal and I believe appreciate it more than someone who loses fast and then only stays there a short time because they believe they can do it again if it happens again.
Not everything is going to go your way. You can do everything right and still get so so results. You can have a great week, then one that sucks. You can have a loss, then a gain. And those with that ATTITUDE that it's just part of the process will understand this rather than quit or give up.
So check YOUR ATTITUDE. How do you really feel? Do you bash yourself or your program because results are slow or almost non existent? Do you throw your hands up and then go binge because you don't think all this is worth it?
One thing I have to remind my clients sometimes is that it's not always going to be easy. You have to get a backbone instead of a wishbone. Suck it up, take the bad with the good and understand it will all come together IF your ATTITUDE is one that you will prevail regardless.
"It's your ATTITUDE, not your APTITUDE, that determines your ALTITUDE".
Hope your weekend is great! Mine always is.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
20
Replies
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Attitude is important, but I think equally important is understanding and education about the process and time scales, learning new habits, current circumstances, financial position, family & children and how much you can break from family routine to achieve your personal goals. The ability to adapt and grow as a person, and love yourself, is also very important.
I’ve always had a great attitude, but the David Goggins ‘get hard’ approach to life and challenges does not work for everyone (myself included). I can understand why attitude is a core pillar of yours, but those that struggle day to day with weight loss over a decade are not ‘failing’ simply because of attitude.
Don’t get me wrong, attitude is important, but is only part of the recipe for me personally.8 -
I absolutely agree! It doesn't mean having an absolutely positive, happy-go-lucky attitude all the time (because that's unrealistic, not to mention unhealthy IMO), but a realistic attitude. Maybe you do feel sorry for yourself for a bit when things or hard or make mistakes--but you don't wallow in it or use it as excuses to slide back into old habits, telling yourself "It'll never work."
I think what goes along with attitude is self-awareness: knowing what you can realistically maintain long-term, know what your strengths and weaknesses are, and coping mechanisms. This is and changing my mindset is what has allowed me to reach my "ultimate" goal weight in way that didn't feel *too* challenging, and with the belief I actually could achieve and maintain it.6 -
I am now in this for the long haul. I just started but I'm looking at my trends in weight reduction but more importantly how I feel as I am doing something good for me. I do have a PHD in self pity but I know if I want to succeed, I must have faith that I am on a journey to wellness.4
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Attitude is important, but I think equally important is understanding and education about the process and time scales, learning new habits, current circumstances, financial position, family & children and how much you can break from family routine to achieve your personal goals. The ability to adapt and grow as a person, and love yourself, is also very important.
I’ve always had a great attitude, but the David Goggins ‘get hard’ approach to life and challenges does not work for everyone (myself included). I can understand why attitude is a core pillar of yours, but those that struggle day to day with weight loss over a decade are not ‘failing’ simply because of attitude.
Don’t get me wrong, attitude is important, but is only part of the recipe for me personally.
It's not about being "hard", it's about being resilient when it gets hard. If people already feel they are going to fail without even getting started, then it's almost a guarantee that they will.
A good example is when a contest is put up. Whether it's money or a prize where a group of people have to achieve something (doesn't matter what it is) over say a month's time, 50% will almost concede that they aren't going to win. About halfway through, another 25% will drop out because they then think they have no chance. In the last week, only about 10% will be competing for top prize. So why only 10% if everyone had the same chance at the beginning? Attitude of how they felt. Successful people ALWAYS believe that the game ain't over till it's over.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
3 -
Thanks for the reminder. I have been struggling with poor motivation and focusing too much on numbers. I have a great trainer and I have noticed that I am improving at each work out. I don't notice it on the scale or the measurements but I can do things I couldn't before. Attitude is one of the things that can bring you down and sabotage your health goals.3
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My current attitude is that I'm too lazy to bold quote the same section @ninerbuff just did from @KevHex's quote 😂 But it stood out for me as well because those (very relevant) issues can also be dealt with differently depending on attitude/mindset.
The only nugget I'd add to this topic is the potential to take the lessons of discipline learned with your individual journey with diet and exercise in a way that allows you to apply it to other aspects of your life.
Leverage the lessons so that all areas of your life become healthier.
You may be surprised at just how much journaling, accountability, consistency, moderation, etc can upgrade you.3 -
My current attitude is that I'm too lazy to bold quote the same section @ninerbuff just did from @KevHex's quote 😂 But it stood out for me as well because those (very relevant) issues can also be dealt with differently depending on attitude/mindset.
The only nugget I'd add to this topic is the potential to take the lessons of discipline learned with your individual journey with diet and exercise in a way that allows you to apply it to other aspects of your life.
Leverage the lessons so that all areas of your life become healthier.
You may be surprised at just how much journaling, accountability, consistency, moderation, etc can upgrade you.
Life for me has to have good balance in order to be fulfilled. So even outside the gym, my attitude is one of enthusiasm regardless of whatever is going on (well with the exception of tragedy of course). But I've always been a glass half full guy ever since I was a kid. And starting out as a 5'6" 126lbs 19 year old to where I am now took a lot of rough turns, but my attitude helped me endure it. As well as other great hardships in my life (was almost homeless once).
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
2 -
Attitude helps. Definitely. But it’s not everything.
A little understanding of how different people process things differently goes a long way. Learned helplessness is a real thing, and I prefer to be encouraging but understanding of the real roadblocks people deal with.
ADHD makes a difference. - I definitely forget to exercise more often than I care to admit.
Disability makes a difference. - I can’t walk without extreme difficulty.
Etc.
No amount of “great attitude” is going to magically make me able to climb stairs, for instance. And if it’s a fun run, or an athletic competition? I’m not even going to bother to enter the race. This isn’t bad attitude. It’s reality for me.
5 -
I actually lose weight the easiest if I am not happy ... if I am slightly angry or highly stressed.
When I'm very stressed, I don't eat and the weight just drops off.
If I am slightly angry, I have an amazing amount of willpower and will do everything to lose weight. I've found the same thing for my long distance cycling events as well ... if something annoys me on the ride, there's a good chance I will finish the ride in a reasonable time. I'm more likely to DNF if I feel blah about everything or too complacent.
Unfortunately, these days I am on a mild SNRI for hot flashes and some depression (long story), and it is actually difficult for me to get angry.8 -
MargaretYakoda wrote: »Attitude helps. Definitely. But it’s not everything.
A little understanding of how different people process things differently goes a long way. Learned helplessness is a real thing, and I prefer to be encouraging but understanding of the real roadblocks people deal with.
ADHD makes a difference. - I definitely forget to exercise more often than I care to admit.
Disability makes a difference. - I can’t walk without extreme difficulty.
Etc.
No amount of “great attitude” is going to magically make me able to climb stairs, for instance. And if it’s a fun run, or an athletic competition? I’m not even going to bother to enter the race. This isn’t bad attitude. It’s reality for me.
While you may have a disability walking, if the attitude is that you're NEVER going to lose weight because of it, then it's going to be a detriment to success. There are other ways to exercise or be physically active without having to be in total pain.
And currently I train a down syndrome teen whom I met when he was at the middle school I yard duty at. His parents trusted me and I now see him 2 times a week and he's excited to come and see me each time. I make his workouts enjoyable and to his ability. There's always a way.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
5 -
MargaretYakoda wrote: »Attitude helps. Definitely. But it’s not everything.
A little understanding of how different people process things differently goes a long way. Learned helplessness is a real thing, and I prefer to be encouraging but understanding of the real roadblocks people deal with.
ADHD makes a difference. - I definitely forget to exercise more often than I care to admit.
Disability makes a difference. - I can’t walk without extreme difficulty.
Etc.
No amount of “great attitude” is going to magically make me able to climb stairs, for instance. And if it’s a fun run, or an athletic competition? I’m not even going to bother to enter the race. This isn’t bad attitude. It’s reality for me.
While you may have a disability walking, if the attitude is that you're NEVER going to lose weight because of it, then it's going to be a detriment to success. There are other ways to exercise or be physically active without having to be in total pain.
And currently I train a down syndrome teen whom I met when he was at the middle school I yard duty at. His parents trusted me and I now see him 2 times a week and he's excited to come and see me each time. I make his workouts enjoyable and to his ability. There's always a way.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
I’m saying you seem - from the point of view of a physically disabled person - to be making it literally all about attitude. And there are other considerations.
Sometimes things are impossible.
Should we stop there? Probably not.
But telling people they have the wrong attitude when they’re overweight and struggling can backfire pretty hard if that person is already at their stress limit. Which they likely are if they’re severely overweight and physically disabled.6 -
MargaretYakoda wrote: »MargaretYakoda wrote: »Attitude helps. Definitely. But it’s not everything.
A little understanding of how different people process things differently goes a long way. Learned helplessness is a real thing, and I prefer to be encouraging but understanding of the real roadblocks people deal with.
ADHD makes a difference. - I definitely forget to exercise more often than I care to admit.
Disability makes a difference. - I can’t walk without extreme difficulty.
Etc.
No amount of “great attitude” is going to magically make me able to climb stairs, for instance. And if it’s a fun run, or an athletic competition? I’m not even going to bother to enter the race. This isn’t bad attitude. It’s reality for me.
While you may have a disability walking, if the attitude is that you're NEVER going to lose weight because of it, then it's going to be a detriment to success. There are other ways to exercise or be physically active without having to be in total pain.
And currently I train a down syndrome teen whom I met when he was at the middle school I yard duty at. His parents trusted me and I now see him 2 times a week and he's excited to come and see me each time. I make his workouts enjoyable and to his ability. There's always a way.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
I’m saying you seem - from the point of view of a physically disabled person - to be making it literally all about attitude. And there are other considerations.
Sometimes things are impossible.
Should we stop there? Probably not.
But telling people they have the wrong attitude when they’re overweight and struggling can backfire pretty hard if that person is already at their stress limit. Which they likely are if they’re severely overweight and physically disabled.
We can debate this all day, but from FIRST HAND experience and dealing with it for over 30 years with people who've had physical struggles, I can attest that when they have a great attitude and apply themselves correctly, great things happen. You can disagree all you like, but you're likely speaking mostly for yourself and not the hundred others that I've encountered and am happy to say changed their lives for the better.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
4 -
MargaretYakoda wrote: »MargaretYakoda wrote: »Attitude helps. Definitely. But it’s not everything.
A little understanding of how different people process things differently goes a long way. Learned helplessness is a real thing, and I prefer to be encouraging but understanding of the real roadblocks people deal with.
ADHD makes a difference. - I definitely forget to exercise more often than I care to admit.
Disability makes a difference. - I can’t walk without extreme difficulty.
Etc.
No amount of “great attitude” is going to magically make me able to climb stairs, for instance. And if it’s a fun run, or an athletic competition? I’m not even going to bother to enter the race. This isn’t bad attitude. It’s reality for me.
While you may have a disability walking, if the attitude is that you're NEVER going to lose weight because of it, then it's going to be a detriment to success. There are other ways to exercise or be physically active without having to be in total pain.
And currently I train a down syndrome teen whom I met when he was at the middle school I yard duty at. His parents trusted me and I now see him 2 times a week and he's excited to come and see me each time. I make his workouts enjoyable and to his ability. There's always a way.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
I’m saying you seem - from the point of view of a physically disabled person - to be making it literally all about attitude. And there are other considerations.
Sometimes things are impossible.
Should we stop there? Probably not.
But telling people they have the wrong attitude when they’re overweight and struggling can backfire pretty hard if that person is already at their stress limit. Which they likely are if they’re severely overweight and physically disabled.
We can debate this all day, but from FIRST HAND experience and dealing with it for over 30 years with people who've had physical struggles, I can attest that when they have a great attitude and apply themselves correctly, great things happen. You can disagree all you like, but you're likely speaking mostly for yourself and not the hundred others that I've encountered and am happy to say changed their lives for the better.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Ummm…. I am losing weight. My attitude is just fine.
I’m saying your emphasis here on attitude only seems very problematic from the point of view of a physically disabled person.
2 -
MargaretYakoda wrote: »MargaretYakoda wrote: »MargaretYakoda wrote: »Attitude helps. Definitely. But it’s not everything.
A little understanding of how different people process things differently goes a long way. Learned helplessness is a real thing, and I prefer to be encouraging but understanding of the real roadblocks people deal with.
ADHD makes a difference. - I definitely forget to exercise more often than I care to admit.
Disability makes a difference. - I can’t walk without extreme difficulty.
Etc.
No amount of “great attitude” is going to magically make me able to climb stairs, for instance. And if it’s a fun run, or an athletic competition? I’m not even going to bother to enter the race. This isn’t bad attitude. It’s reality for me.
While you may have a disability walking, if the attitude is that you're NEVER going to lose weight because of it, then it's going to be a detriment to success. There are other ways to exercise or be physically active without having to be in total pain.
And currently I train a down syndrome teen whom I met when he was at the middle school I yard duty at. His parents trusted me and I now see him 2 times a week and he's excited to come and see me each time. I make his workouts enjoyable and to his ability. There's always a way.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
I’m saying you seem - from the point of view of a physically disabled person - to be making it literally all about attitude. And there are other considerations.
Sometimes things are impossible.
Should we stop there? Probably not.
But telling people they have the wrong attitude when they’re overweight and struggling can backfire pretty hard if that person is already at their stress limit. Which they likely are if they’re severely overweight and physically disabled.
We can debate this all day, but from FIRST HAND experience and dealing with it for over 30 years with people who've had physical struggles, I can attest that when they have a great attitude and apply themselves correctly, great things happen. You can disagree all you like, but you're likely speaking mostly for yourself and not the hundred others that I've encountered and am happy to say changed their lives for the better.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Ummm…. I am losing weight. My attitude is just fine.
I’m saying your emphasis here on attitude only seems very problematic from the point of view of a physically disabled person.
It's maybe only problematic because they may feel they are limited to a couple of options. Wouldn't giving them many more be a boost?
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
1 -
MargaretYakoda wrote: »MargaretYakoda wrote: »MargaretYakoda wrote: »Attitude helps. Definitely. But it’s not everything.
A little understanding of how different people process things differently goes a long way. Learned helplessness is a real thing, and I prefer to be encouraging but understanding of the real roadblocks people deal with.
ADHD makes a difference. - I definitely forget to exercise more often than I care to admit.
Disability makes a difference. - I can’t walk without extreme difficulty.
Etc.
No amount of “great attitude” is going to magically make me able to climb stairs, for instance. And if it’s a fun run, or an athletic competition? I’m not even going to bother to enter the race. This isn’t bad attitude. It’s reality for me.
While you may have a disability walking, if the attitude is that you're NEVER going to lose weight because of it, then it's going to be a detriment to success. There are other ways to exercise or be physically active without having to be in total pain.
And currently I train a down syndrome teen whom I met when he was at the middle school I yard duty at. His parents trusted me and I now see him 2 times a week and he's excited to come and see me each time. I make his workouts enjoyable and to his ability. There's always a way.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
I’m saying you seem - from the point of view of a physically disabled person - to be making it literally all about attitude. And there are other considerations.
Sometimes things are impossible.
Should we stop there? Probably not.
But telling people they have the wrong attitude when they’re overweight and struggling can backfire pretty hard if that person is already at their stress limit. Which they likely are if they’re severely overweight and physically disabled.
We can debate this all day, but from FIRST HAND experience and dealing with it for over 30 years with people who've had physical struggles, I can attest that when they have a great attitude and apply themselves correctly, great things happen. You can disagree all you like, but you're likely speaking mostly for yourself and not the hundred others that I've encountered and am happy to say changed their lives for the better.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Ummm…. I am losing weight. My attitude is just fine.
I’m saying your emphasis here on attitude only seems very problematic from the point of view of a physically disabled person.
Question from a lurker/ally : May I ask why you think this when there are adaptable exercises (or rehabilitation programs) for people living with varying abilities, both physical and mental?
I realize answering this question may require emotional labour and, as such, please know that as an ally to all I appreciate your continuing the dialogue in this thread.
It's informative yet there's still a gap of understanding for me, hence the question.1 -
Fidgetbrain wrote: »I don’t think anyone actually disagrees with your point, anything is possible with the right attitude eventually but for someone with far more obstacles to overcome than an able bodied person it might feel like you’re implying they simply aren’t trying hard enough to achieve the same as others when it may take far more dedication on their part to still make slower progress. The right attitude can always bring you further up the hill but we all have different hills and will reach different heights with the same effort! I think this was what you were trying to say anyway but it sounded at little like it should be a linear scale of attitude to results when really it’s a far more complex model : )
Bingo.
4 -
And, adding to what @Fidgetbrain wrote, it seems like the mirror to the line of thinking that goes “You’re overweight because you’re not trying hard enough.” Which is something that is very difficult to hear when you’re trying as hard as you can, but you can’t get a doctor to listen to your symptoms (low thyroid and a crappy doctor gifted me 100 lbs). Or when you’re working 60 hours a week just to get bread on the table and you’re flat out exhausted from trying to survive. Etc.
A little grace goes a very long way.8 -
Thank you to you both @Fidgetbrain and @MargaretYakoda
While I didn't necessarily read that from @ninerbuff's posts (or have that intention to infer this in my post), I hear you - both of you - and appreciate you sharing your experiences. It happens to be personally helpful but also helpful in the work I'm committed to do (umm, when I'm not playing Acronym Game /callback)4 -
Fidgetbrain wrote: »I don’t think anyone actually disagrees with your point, anything is possible with the right attitude eventually but for someone with far more obstacles to overcome than an able bodied person it might feel like you’re implying they simply aren’t trying hard enough to achieve the same as others when it may take far more dedication on their part to still make slower progress. The right attitude can always bring you further up the hill but we all have different hills and will reach different heights with the same effort! I think this was what you were trying to say anyway but it sounded at little like it should be a linear scale of attitude to results when really it’s a far more complex model : )
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
1
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