Coronavirus prep
Replies
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Apparently getting vaccinated isn’t enough where I live - they have extended the mask mandates until end of September. Looks Ike my son is going to have to postpone his wedding for a third time. The most annoying thing about it is that it is scheduled for Sep 24 so if they do lift it Oct 1 then we miss being able to do a normal wedding by a week - but probably won’t get another date until next year.
At this point they should just lift the mask mandates it’s getting ridiculous everyone has the opportunity to get their vaccine let us have a normal life ffs.
I would love the 7 people who disagreed with this to think about how it would feel having to cancel their wedding for the THIRD time in a year because it is scheduled literally 7 days before the probable full provincial reopening goes into effect. Even though every guest will be fully vaccinated. It sucks.
Will they not allow an outdoor wedding? If all the guests are fully vaccinated and the wedding and reception are outdoors, I think it's absolutely asinine if it's still not allowed. Apparently, the scientific experts are OK with it. Not sure why it wouldn't be OK with the local officials, too. The risk is low. That's frustrating.
Yes my other son (who had to cancel his January wedding in Mexico) is getting married at an outdoor venue (hopefully) in August. Although we still don't know what the restrictions will be, they are going ahead with the planning on that one with the assumption that 50 people will be allowed for an outdoor wedding and reception.
The problem with the September wedding (other son) is that they began their planning and booked their venue and vendors for last September, and have paid substantial deposits for everything for a 125 person reception. Had the planning began AFTER the pandemic started they would have done it differently, but most vendors will let you postpone, but won't give refunds if you cancel. So it went from September 2020, to May 2021, to September 2021 ... and who knows now. They could certainly cancel and lose their deposits, but they already lost a ton of money when the had to cancel the 3 week honeymoon in Europe that they had planned.
I get that other people have had it worse and it's not like anyone died - but it still sucks and is stressful.12 -
kshama2001 wrote: »(Disclaimer: not knocking anyone who actually enjoys big weddings; just sharing MY experience and opinion.)
I got married (to my now-ex husband) in Okinawa in the late 80s. We were both in the military. We first had to do a bunch of stuff on base, then had to run around getting paperwork signed at various places off base, where there was a considerable language barrier. We had Iron Maiden's "Somewhere in Time" cassette on a loop the whole time. After the last stop, we looked at each other and said, "I guess we're married now?" and exchanged rings.
I hate big social events like weddings and will always have fond memories of this. And my legal marriage certificate in in Japanese, which is fun.
I'm trying to figure out how to get my next marriage as small as possible. Thinking Justice of the Peace. But my Mom wants to go, and my sister, and then we'd have to invite his brother (and family.) Ack.
My husband and I were both in the military, too--we had the "marriage in minutes" in a Virginia courthouse in the early 90s, immediately followed by a sign-off by a marriage broker. We wanted to be married to each other before he went to Kosovo, so we did. We had a large party for family and friends when he got back.
In no-plague times, I can see wanting the ceremony and the party. But, especially in the early days of the pandemic, when death rates were so high and everything was uncertain, I didn't (still don't) understand why people postponed and delayed weddings--were they really prepared to live with potentially not marrying the person they loved because, by the gods, they wanted the dream party to go with it? We weren't; I guess others are.
The wedding was planned, and substantial non-refundable deposits were made, before the pandemic was even a thing. They can postpone, but they can't cancel and get their money back.3 -
Muscleflex79 wrote: »Apparently getting vaccinated isn’t enough where I live - they have extended the mask mandates until end of September. Looks Ike my son is going to have to postpone his wedding for a third time. The most annoying thing about it is that it is scheduled for Sep 24 so if they do lift it Oct 1 then we miss being able to do a normal wedding by a week - but probably won’t get another date until next year.
At this point they should just lift the mask mandates it’s getting ridiculous everyone has the opportunity to get their vaccine let us have a normal life ffs.
I would love the 7 people who disagreed with this to think about how it would feel having to cancel their wedding for the THIRD time in a year because it is scheduled literally 7 days before the probable full provincial reopening goes into effect. Even though every guest will be fully vaccinated. It sucks.
33gail33 - if I remember correctly you are in Ontario? if so, I can totally relate to your frustration. not sure people outside Ontario/Canada know just how bad we have had it here. the rest of the world has been opening up around us for MONTHS and here we can't go to the gym/get a haircut/go to a restaurant/play outdoor sports.
even more frustrating is the constantly shifting goal posts - Ontario has far surpassed the "goals" to be much closer to a reopening (still nowhere near a full reopening) and just as we reach the milestone they move the goalpost.
so I can totally relate to the frustration of thinking something is going to happen (for me it has been the gym and baseball season) only to be told again and again that the timeline is changing (with no good justification - our covid cases are in the 200's for a population of 15 million+)
Yes I'm in Ontario - Dougie just loves to keep us hanging eh?
The most frustrating part is just the not knowing. I mean we could cancel based on the information we have, and then they could change their minds and open up anyway at the last minute.5 -
kshama2001 wrote: »(Disclaimer: not knocking anyone who actually enjoys big weddings; just sharing MY experience and opinion.)
I got married (to my now-ex husband) in Okinawa in the late 80s. We were both in the military. We first had to do a bunch of stuff on base, then had to run around getting paperwork signed at various places off base, where there was a considerable language barrier. We had Iron Maiden's "Somewhere in Time" cassette on a loop the whole time. After the last stop, we looked at each other and said, "I guess we're married now?" and exchanged rings.
I hate big social events like weddings and will always have fond memories of this. And my legal marriage certificate in in Japanese, which is fun.
I'm trying to figure out how to get my next marriage as small as possible. Thinking Justice of the Peace. But my Mom wants to go, and my sister, and then we'd have to invite his brother (and family.) Ack.
My husband and I were both in the military, too--we had the "marriage in minutes" in a Virginia courthouse in the early 90s, immediately followed by a sign-off by a marriage broker. We wanted to be married to each other before he went to Kosovo, so we did. We had a large party for family and friends when he got back.
In no-plague times, I can see wanting the ceremony and the party. But, especially in the early days of the pandemic, when death rates were so high and everything was uncertain, I didn't (still don't) understand why people postponed and delayed weddings--were they really prepared to live with potentially not marrying the person they loved because, by the gods, they wanted the dream party to go with it? We weren't; I guess others are.
That's my feeling, too. COVID would not have stopped me from marrying my husband. I get that not everyone feels that way, though...
I had the big wedding for my mom. It made her happy. I would have been perfectly content to do what my sister later did: she and her husband were married on a beach, with only the officiant and his wife present as a witness. It would have been a lot less stressful (I'm not big on being the center of attention) and I would have been able to actually relax and "be present" for the ceremony - instead of being nervous and self-conscious the whole time. (I was a lot more shy and anxious when I was younger. The older I get, the more I mellow, thank goodness!) It was a whirlwind and I feel almost like I missed most of it. So honestly, if I'd have had to cancel my wedding due to COVID, I'd have simply eloped instead. It would have been a good excuse to avoid the big event without hurting my mom's feelings. Just being honest...
I'm the mom and I assure you the big wedding is not for me - I would be just as happy for them if they eloped. My son wanted a big wedding celebration, with all his friends and family, and that is what they had planned. They would rather wait and have the wedding they want the way they planned it then do it a different way. I mean it's not like Covid is going to stop them from marrying each other, they are postponing not cancelling.3 -
My daughter in UK postponed her wedding, originally for last August, but venue etc already booked before pandemic hit.
Postponed for a year with the hope overseas visitors would then be able to come.
I didn't see this as some slur on them not wanting to be married
Unfortunately Australian borders still closed so it will be going ahead next month but we will still not be able to attend.16 -
I always figure that if I fet married, it will be something small. In some states, you don't need anyone to officiate - just need to sign the paperwork and have witnesses. Colorado is one of those states, and one could quite literally get married with almost nobody around for miles out in the wilderness.5
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Paperpudding, might it be possible for someone to arrange a video link to the venue for you. I know its so very far from being able to be here but might help. I'm surprised its not been suggested. Time difference could mean a late night or would it be early morning for you.
I'm sure many a couple want to make the big public statement of their "commitment" to each other which matters.
I'm glad we are required to have registrars, or "qualified" celebrants be they religious or I hope by now someone who provides a non religious exchange of words for those to whom that also matters. I hate the idea of creeping out into the back yard, then filling in paperwork. Call me suspicious, I see coercion, the path to abuse lies here.2 -
As far as I know there is not a livestream of the wedding fuzzipeg.
We will have to see photos and videos afterward. It is what it is.6 -
Paperpudding, might it be possible for someone to arrange a video link to the venue for you. I know its so very far from being able to be here but might help. I'm surprised its not been suggested. Time difference could mean a late night or would it be early morning for you.
I'm sure many a couple want to make the big public statement of their "commitment" to each other which matters.
I'm glad we are required to have registrars, or "qualified" celebrants be they religious or I hope by now someone who provides a non religious exchange of words for those to whom that also matters. I hate the idea of creeping out into the back yard, then filling in paperwork. Call me suspicious, I see coercion, the path to abuse lies here.
I'm not quite getting what you mean here, but I'm super intrigued. Hoping you could elaborate on this statement. What's the coercion/abuse about? Creeping out to the backyard and filling out paperwork? I might lack some cultural context...?5 -
Paperpudding, might it be possible for someone to arrange a video link to the venue for you. I know its so very far from being able to be here but might help. I'm surprised its not been suggested. Time difference could mean a late night or would it be early morning for you.
I'm sure many a couple want to make the big public statement of their "commitment" to each other which matters.
I'm glad we are required to have registrars, or "qualified" celebrants be they religious or I hope by now someone who provides a non religious exchange of words for those to whom that also matters. I hate the idea of creeping out into the back yard, then filling in paperwork. Call me suspicious, I see coercion, the path to abuse lies here.
I'm not quite getting what you mean here, but I'm super intrigued. Hoping you could elaborate on this statement. What's the coercion/abuse about? Creeping out to the backyard and filling out paperwork? I might lack some cultural context...?
I wondered about that too. Possible reference to my story about my friend who chose to marry while barefoot in her backyard?
Back to covid: active cases are way down here, only 9 new positives today; but there were 3 deaths. Of course, I don't know if they were rare cases of serious illness while vaccinated or weren't vaccinated. Either way, it's sad that there are deaths still.3 -
Paperpudding, might it be possible for someone to arrange a video link to the venue for you. I know its so very far from being able to be here but might help. I'm surprised its not been suggested. Time difference could mean a late night or would it be early morning for you.
I'm sure many a couple want to make the big public statement of their "commitment" to each other which matters.
I'm glad we are required to have registrars, or "qualified" celebrants be they religious or I hope by now someone who provides a non religious exchange of words for those to whom that also matters. I hate the idea of creeping out into the back yard, then filling in paperwork. Call me suspicious, I see coercion, the path to abuse lies here.
I'm not quite getting what you mean here, but I'm super intrigued. Hoping you could elaborate on this statement. What's the coercion/abuse about? Creeping out to the backyard and filling out paperwork? I might lack some cultural context...?
I wondered about that too. Possible reference to my story about my friend who chose to marry while barefoot in her backyard?
Back to covid: active cases are way down here, only 9 new positives today; but there were 3 deaths. Of course, I don't know if they were rare cases of serious illness while vaccinated or weren't vaccinated. Either way, it's sad that there are deaths still.
That sounds like my idea of the perfect wedding ceremony actually. My back yard is my favourite place on earth. Maybe not barefoot.... I have dogs.... but casual and low key and best of all, no audience.
No new cases here today. I think we average 5 a week now. 75% of 12+ have one shot, 30% are fully vaccinated. (We had delayed second shots to get more first shots into arms. I get my second in three weeks.)7 -
In my region in North Queensland we are now in lockdown as a young lady with the Delta version flew here from Brisbane. We are only allowed to leave the house for essential reasons until Friday when they will *kitten* how things are going and see if it needs to go longer.9
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In my region in North Queensland we are now in lockdown as a young lady with the Delta version flew here from Brisbane. We are only allowed to leave the house for essential reasons until Friday when they will *kitten* how things are going and see if it needs to go longer.
We (Wellington region, New Zealand) have just come back out of a week of restrictions here. It wasn't really a lockdown, just limits on large groups etc. Personally, the only thing that was really affected was my entry in the Wellington Marathon last weekend - now postponed until they can organise a new date.
The cause of our restrictions was a visitor from NSW who was diagnosed after their return home to Australia. They did have the delta variant, but had received one vaccination dose.
So far we seem to have dodged a bullet on that one - no positive cases found from testing, and no traces found in waste water tests.
Our NZ/Aus travel bubble is currently paused, some states expected to restart in a few days.
Our tourism sector is probably bearing the worst of this episode - they were banking on Aus visitors during the school holidays.
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Muscleflex79 wrote: »cmhubbard92 wrote: »I got married in February. Instead of worrying about a venue, we decorated my in-laws house and had a small wedding there. It was beautiful, personal, and our guests(close family and a few friends) were on board for wearing masks despite most of them being fully vaccinated. My mother-in-law made me a beautiful mask using lace from her wedding dress and wearing masks did not disrupt our day. We took it off while eating/drinking, while taking some photos, and during the ceremony(JOP requested it so people could hear us better, but it was a very quick ceremony, and sealing the deal would have been quite unusual). I wouldn't have changed anything, except for being able to have my brother there with us; CA and CT both had tough restrictions, and his return to work would have been more complicated due to their covid policies. Fortunately, we were able to video call him to watch the wedding, and that was perfect.
Unless the reason you will have to reschedule is due to size limitations, I would still keep the date. Masks are not going to ruin the entire day, and if people don't want to wear them while supporting the bride and groom, then they don't seem very supportive, IMHO.
here in Ontario (where I think 33gail33 is from) we have not been able to meet with people from outside our household for months. we have been on lockdown since last November and could literally not meet with anyone we don't live with - in or outside. And yes, police have been called on people who have others over - it is absolute insanity here with no real end in sight. that being said, some of those restrictions MAY be easing up in the next month or two, but I would imagine it is hard for someone to plan on having a wedding having no idea if that would even be legal at the time (even in a private home).
Well that's very different from the post that started this subthread, which only mentioned mask mandates and nothing about not being allowed to gather or even a limit on the number who could gather.4 -
lynn_glenmont wrote: »Muscleflex79 wrote: »cmhubbard92 wrote: »I got married in February. Instead of worrying about a venue, we decorated my in-laws house and had a small wedding there. It was beautiful, personal, and our guests(close family and a few friends) were on board for wearing masks despite most of them being fully vaccinated. My mother-in-law made me a beautiful mask using lace from her wedding dress and wearing masks did not disrupt our day. We took it off while eating/drinking, while taking some photos, and during the ceremony(JOP requested it so people could hear us better, but it was a very quick ceremony, and sealing the deal would have been quite unusual). I wouldn't have changed anything, except for being able to have my brother there with us; CA and CT both had tough restrictions, and his return to work would have been more complicated due to their covid policies. Fortunately, we were able to video call him to watch the wedding, and that was perfect.
Unless the reason you will have to reschedule is due to size limitations, I would still keep the date. Masks are not going to ruin the entire day, and if people don't want to wear them while supporting the bride and groom, then they don't seem very supportive, IMHO.
here in Ontario (where I think 33gail33 is from) we have not been able to meet with people from outside our household for months. we have been on lockdown since last November and could literally not meet with anyone we don't live with - in or outside. And yes, police have been called on people who have others over - it is absolute insanity here with no real end in sight. that being said, some of those restrictions MAY be easing up in the next month or two, but I would imagine it is hard for someone to plan on having a wedding having no idea if that would even be legal at the time (even in a private home).
Well that's very different from the post that started this subthread, which only mentioned mask mandates and nothing about not being allowed to gather or even a limit on the number who could gather.
Well I said there was a mask mandate in place, I didn't specify exactly every restriction that entailed.
I am surprised so many people would be OK with having a wedding that way, and I suspect that if was their wedding they might have a different view.
We went to a christening last summer with the mask mandate in place. So we sat at a table with our household (husband, daughter, son and fiancee), ate our meal, the parents came by to thank us for coming, and no interaction with anyone else. I said when we left that we might as well have just stayed home and ate it wasn't like a social event. The idea of paying $20,000 + for a wedding reception under those circumstances seems ridiculous to me. But to each their own I guess.6 -
Paperpudding, might it be possible for someone to arrange a video link to the venue for you. I know its so very far from being able to be here but might help. I'm surprised its not been suggested. Time difference could mean a late night or would it be early morning for you.
I'm sure many a couple want to make the big public statement of their "commitment" to each other which matters.
I'm glad we are required to have registrars, or "qualified" celebrants be they religious or I hope by now someone who provides a non religious exchange of words for those to whom that also matters. I hate the idea of creeping out into the back yard, then filling in paperwork. Call me suspicious, I see coercion, the path to abuse lies here.
I'm not quite getting what you mean here, but I'm super intrigued. Hoping you could elaborate on this statement. What's the coercion/abuse about? Creeping out to the backyard and filling out paperwork? I might lack some cultural context...?
I think the concern is that without witnesses someone could be more easily coerced in marrying against their will, perhaps by an abusive partner.3 -
Different customs I guess. My family stopped doing elaborate (expensive) weddings generations ago. Probably why I had no qualms about eloping. I know another family that does church weddings but the 'reception' is always a massive potluck in the park.
As to the chances of an autumn wedding without any restrictions, I'd be pessimistic. Large number who won't get vaccinated, school back in classes and cooler temps moving people indoors makes successive waves more likely in my opinion.8 -
Paperpudding, might it be possible for someone to arrange a video link to the venue for you. I know its so very far from being able to be here but might help. I'm surprised its not been suggested. Time difference could mean a late night or would it be early morning for you.
I'm sure many a couple want to make the big public statement of their "commitment" to each other which matters.
I'm glad we are required to have registrars, or "qualified" celebrants be they religious or I hope by now someone who provides a non religious exchange of words for those to whom that also matters. I hate the idea of creeping out into the back yard, then filling in paperwork. Call me suspicious, I see coercion, the path to abuse lies here.
I'm not quite getting what you mean here, but I'm super intrigued. Hoping you could elaborate on this statement. What's the coercion/abuse about? Creeping out to the backyard and filling out paperwork? I might lack some cultural context...?
I think the concern is that without witnesses someone could be more easily coerced in marrying against their will, perhaps by an abusive partner.
OK, duh. That makes sense. Maybe I'm just a bit slow today. I was legitimately confused because it didn't quote the post it was referring to so I was just taking it as some random wierd comment. Looking back at the thread I see where the idea was coming from. 🤪2 -
Jenilla - I'm in the UK. Were registrars and specific persons are required to hold marriage ceremonies. Where unless one pays additional fees for a special licence one waits three weeks while the licence is posted. Similar, probably coming from "the "bands being" read in churches here. When persons in the community can raise objections, just causes and impediments. Registrars have training to spot problematic registrations. Mainly this comes from persons requiring, "marriages of convenience" to achieve "right to stay" having married someone British born. The UK system is so hot, or tries to be hot on marriages of convenience that many, persons who are deeply committed to each other over many years are forced to endure years of separation until the non Brit party is permitted to join their British born partners. None of that relates to how I read the other poster, its just UK background.
Someone, not you, jenilla. Said in their state they can go out in the yard and say or do something then submit some paperwork which means they are married. This read as an open opportunity for the exploitation and violation of a person who needs their rights protected.
I think the US have age restrictions in some states which restrict the age at which alcohol can be taken for example and driving licences held. Those States restrictions probably also include age restrictions for marriages. Over many years now young school aged girls have been taken from the UK to other countries where they are entered into (forced) marriages, ones for which they are not deemed legally old enough to consent too, arranged ones at ages which are totally inappropriate according to UK law. We have Child Protection legislation to cover these and other situations with appropriate action being taken to hopefully keep the children safe.
Reading of persons being able to go into their back yards in some parts of the US and then provide paperwork to the, effect the parties are now married. This may be all well and good as long as the parties are in total agreement in what they are signing up for. There can be situations where one or other of the parties is/are being coerced, subjugated to the wants/needs of another even others, at determent to themselves, it becomes abusive.
In the last 18months with our lockdowns and covid restrictions, I've been becoming aware so much more of exploitative, not always marriages, where coercive control/abusive relationships otherwise known as Domestic Violence are some poor persons reality.
To me, being able to say a few words in your back yard, then giving signatures, however they were obtained, which are then simplistically accepted and rubber stamped just screamed the opportunity for this Domestic Violence. Like I said, I'm deeply relieved for the above reasons, that this has no place in our society.2 -
Jenilla - I'm in the UK. Were registrars and specific persons are required to hold marriage ceremonies. Where unless one pays additional fees for a special licence one waits three weeks while the licence is posted. Similar, probably coming from "the "bands being" read in churches here. When persons in the community can raise objections, just causes and impediments. Registrars have training to spot problematic registrations. Mainly this comes from persons requiring, "marriages of convenience" to achieve "right to stay" having married someone British born. The UK system is so hot, or tries to be hot on marriages of convenience that many, persons who are deeply committed to each other over many years are forced to endure years of separation until the non Brit party is permitted to join their British born partners. None of that relates to how I read the other poster, its just UK background.
Someone, not you, jenilla. Said in their state they can go out in the yard and say or do something then submit some paperwork which means they are married. This read as an open opportunity for the exploitation and violation of a person who needs their rights protected.
I think the US have age restrictions in some states which restrict the age at which alcohol can be taken for example and driving licences held. Those States restrictions probably also include age restrictions for marriages. Over many years now young school aged girls have been taken from the UK to other countries where they are entered into (forced) marriages, ones for which they are not deemed legally old enough to consent too, arranged ones at ages which are totally inappropriate according to UK law. We have Child Protection legislation to cover these and other situations with appropriate action being taken to hopefully keep the children safe.
Reading of persons being able to go into their back yards in some parts of the US and then provide paperwork to the, effect the parties are now married. This may be all well and good as long as the parties are in total agreement in what they are signing up for. There can be situations where one or other of the parties is/are being coerced, subjugated to the wants/needs of another even others, at determent to themselves, it becomes abusive.
In the last 18months with our lockdowns and covid restrictions, I've been becoming aware so much more of exploitative, not always marriages, where coercive control/abusive relationships otherwise known as Domestic Violence are some poor persons reality.
To me, being able to say a few words in your back yard, then giving signatures, however they were obtained, which are then simplistically accepted and rubber stamped just screamed the opportunity for this Domestic Violence. Like I said, I'm deeply relieved for the above reasons, that this has no place in our society.
I think you are misunderstanding the "backyard" situation. Anywhere in the U.S., you must first acquire a marriage license from your county clerk. This is where they check age requirements and other regulations. This is a required legal document. Then, you must have your license signed by an officiant who meets the credential requirements of your state. Some states require additional signatures of witnesses...some do not.
You seem to think it's a big, unregulated free-for-all...that's not at all how it works. The person getting married in a private backyard ceremony still had to obtain a license and an officiant to sign it. If not, they are not legally married.14
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