Quick heads up, Team!

I have weighed myself every morning so far this week, so I know that tomorrow when I weigh in for the last time this week, my average reading will most certainly put me in the red again. I apologise in advance, but believe me when I tell you that I have totally behaved myself.

Happy Weekend, Friends 🙂

PW 225
CW 227

Finally back home today and a 2 lb gain isn't bad for a week away without a scale, no logging and dessert every night! Back to my normal routine but I think I will make a big effort to significantly cut back on sugar. I will also be sticking with water only. I don't usually drink but did over vacation.

@micki48 Our birthday/anniversary schedules are pretty similar! Congrats on 38 years 👏

We celebrated our 14 wedding anniversary on the 14th. It was fun celebrating at the Oregon coast because that's where we went on our honeymoon. My birthday is coming on the 20th and I will be 39!

Congrats to Sam, Ashley and Brad on great losses this week! Sam, so close to the 100s!!!

I'm adding a picture of the light house we got to visit. It was really beautiful and had tide pools below it. Lots of wildlife such as pelicans, puffins and seals.

aww you guys @jugar @micki48 @PlaneMonkey @conleywoods Thank you so much!
I am really feeling good these days, thanks to a planned cheat day every 10 days. I eat a bit above maintenance calories around the 5th, 15th and 25th of every month but also cycle for 2 hours to make sure I am still in a deficit. I feel like a cheat day a week would be too much and one every 2 weeks would suck. A cool thing I have noticed is I can easily tell if I have lost 1-2 kgs just by looking in the mirror. Earlier, even a 5 kg loss wasn't conspicuous.

I know a few people are identifying struggles and disappointment and I just wanted to share the following article:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/never-binge-again/201812/does-guilt-make-you-fat

Couple quotes that caught my attention:

"...it's best if guilt lasts only long enough to get your attention. Once you've analyzed the mistake, figured out what went wrong, and made plans to correct it in the future, guilt serves no constructive purpose, at least as far as healthy eating is concerned. In fact, many of my clients report that guilt seems to prolong and fuel further overeating."

""Commit with perfection but forgive yourself with dignity" is the mantra I give my clients to summarize the best attitude for food goals."

While there may be better articles out there, and while we're all different, I know for a fact if I let myself be hard on myself, get into all or nothing thinking, and so on, that it does nothing good for me.

It's a fine line to walk, to hold ourselves accountable, to keep ourselves on track for goals, but to also forgive and to give ourselves that grace and understanding when things don't go to plan.

I have always had a perfectionist mentality and I've been trying to do the work this year to understand how this has actually negatively impacted me. While I know everyone is different, and that this may not resonate for lots, I think it's good to think about any guilt we may all be harboring and whether it's at a healthy level that's helping or whether it's hurting.

Also want to say everyone's journey continues to teach me lessons - sometimes just about how to go through tough times and still stick with it and show up. That is very inspiring for me!

@ashleycarole86 Thanks for the quotes and links. I agree with giving yourself grace and not feeling guilty and beating yourself up when things don't go perfectly. It's just that at 57, I think I give myself TOO MUCH grace. LOL. Seriously, I've done this so long that I don't hold myself accountable at all sometimes. I figure, I'm this old, I've been at it this long, it is what it is. Not always the best way to go, but I have to give myself grace on that too. This is where I am in the journey. I am not a competitive person, nor am I a perfectionist. I think for me, little victories have to be key. Lifelong changes I can carry through life. Nothing drastic or extreme is going to work with me. I know that about me. I am currently on an upward trajectory, having been at 196 for over a year, more or less. But the last month, which honestly has been a little crazy in my life, I have gained and currently (meaning this morning) the scale is screaming 200.1. I know that it is water weight (and other stuff) from our big meal out, but that needs to get back under 200!!! I'm not sure, yet, how I get myself back on board and committed to this journey.

But, @conleywoods "ultimate why" may be something I need to think about. Yes, I am still down 23 pounds from my high weight, but my ultimate why was to be healthy. I am better off, but still have more weight than is good for my body. I am still considered obese when it comes to BMI, although I do realize that BMI was never suppose to be something people aspire too. It was a measure of people surveyed. I have never put a lot of credence in it's "goals." Real BMI is a much better resourse IMO.

So, here I still am, trying to figure out this journey. Really my whole life. We are so busy when we are young with our careers, raising children, etc. I am at a totally different place. My kids are grown, although I still put everything I have into them. Some would say, I do too much! Can't help it. I am realizing though that I don't really know what MY goals and dreams are aside from my family. I have put them first my whole life and honestly probably always will to some extent. But 4 years ago, I lost my job which essentially stopped my career before I was really ready to make that decision. At this point, I have chosen not to resume teaching because I care for my granddaughter and also because of COVID, but there are certainly kinks in my life because of my circumstances. For starters, healthcare. <<insert jealousy for our Canadian and UK friends>> Anyway, all this to say, I need to figure out what is important to me, what I want to do, how I keep myself "young" and healthy, blah blah blah. Plus, my family is still playing with the idea of moving back to the Philadelphia, PA area after making a move to North Carolina 10 years ago. Ugh. Focus back on doing the work. I had a Weight Watchers leader always end our meeting with this quote, "What are you willing to do to get where you want to be?" I guess I need to figure out that second part with the "ultimate why" before I can define that first part.

Off to drink some water and move. Peace.

Michele xoxo