We broke up because...

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  • FabulousFantasticFifty
    FabulousFantasticFifty Posts: 195,833 Member
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    She wanted me to dress up like her Ex ๐Ÿ˜ž
  • NVintage
    NVintage Posts: 1,463 Member
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    Would wear rugged denim and hiking boots to formal events...so embarrassing!
  • Cat0703a
    Cat0703a Posts: 17,421 Member
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    She didnโ€™t allow me to be myself. Always trying to make me posh.
  • FabulousFantasticFifty
    FabulousFantasticFifty Posts: 195,833 Member
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    Last I heard she joined a Girl Band called The Spice Girls then married a famous Soccer Player named David ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿผโ€โ™€๏ธ
  • CandycaneDimondSparkle
    CandycaneDimondSparkle Posts: 1,701 Member
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    She kept kicking balls at me
  • FabulousFantasticFifty
    FabulousFantasticFifty Posts: 195,833 Member
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    She never wanted to play kickball ๐Ÿฅด
  • qxana1969
    qxana1969 Posts: 9,330 Member
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    She was often trying to use my head as a kick ball. So abusive!
  • FabulousFantasticFifty
    FabulousFantasticFifty Posts: 195,833 Member
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    She would never lay off the fact that once I accidentally jumped off the bed onto her head.... Serves her right for hiding under there with her Mistress and Mister ๐Ÿ˜ 
  • PaperDoll_
    PaperDoll_ Posts: 32,843 Member
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    She kept asking me to sleep under the bed. I never could figure out why. ๐Ÿค”
  • Cat0703a
    Cat0703a Posts: 17,421 Member
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    She ran off with a hairy cowboy ๐Ÿ˜ญ
  • FabulousFantasticFifty
    FabulousFantasticFifty Posts: 195,833 Member
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    She was always crying over her lost toys
  • Cat0703a
    Cat0703a Posts: 17,421 Member
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    She was always removing the batteries from my toys. ๐Ÿคจ
  • FabulousFantasticFifty
    FabulousFantasticFifty Posts: 195,833 Member
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    I found a trunk filled with some really strange objects under her side of the bed ... And they definitely didn't belong to my Lumberjack! ๐Ÿคญ
  • NVintage
    NVintage Posts: 1,463 Member
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    She got mad at my superstitions and love spells... like the one time I put an ax and flannel shirts in a trunk under my bed to attract a handsome lumberjack!
  • Callousedthoughts
    Callousedthoughts Posts: 2,090 Member
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    I said I was a lumberjack. She said Im ok, but I sleep all night and I work all day.
  • PaperDoll_
    PaperDoll_ Posts: 32,843 Member
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    I wanted him fried but he always demanded to be baked. ๐Ÿ˜’
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,440 Member
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    Never.. shes never leaving me ๐Ÿค—
  • theeldestberry
    theeldestberry Posts: 815 Member
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    I'm just a ramblin' man
  • FabulousFantasticFifty
    FabulousFantasticFifty Posts: 195,833 Member
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  • Cat0703a
    Cat0703a Posts: 17,421 Member
    edited August 2021
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    I found used tassels in her pocket! ๐Ÿ˜‘