I hope this isn't just another attempt.
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There's a lot of great advice here so most things I could say would be redundant, so I just want to say welcome to MFP and congratulations on deciding to get healthier.
My only piece of advice that might not have been mentioned: it gets easier! You're tired and hungry now, but it gets better. Once you start getting closer to a healthy weight, you feel better, you sleep better, you have more energy - just going about your day is easier! So this is the hardest part, but every healthy step makes the next step easier.
Also, this may have already been mentioned, but you don't have to eat vegetables to lose weight. As long you stick to your MFP calorie goal, your weight will come down. Vegetables might make it easier to stick to your goal though! I thought I hated vegetables, but I tried a lot of hidden vegetable recipes - cauliflower pizza, cauliflower tater tots, black bean brownies, etc. You may find a new low calorie recipe that you like. I find adding the right spices and fat free cheese makes even vegetables taste good. You may also find that your palate changes. I've tried and adjusted to so many low calorie desserts that I don't even miss the "real" thing. So just be willing to try new things - dieting doesn't have to mean just salads.3 -
Wow I'm very thankful for all the responses. I'm going to take my time and read all of them. Thank you guys/gals for supporting me on this journey.7
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Guess what.... I failed. Well I'm back at it lol. Didn't want to start a new post so figured I'd just reply to this one. Need some accountability buddies.10
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RichardAllenWayne wrote: »Guess what.... I failed. Well I'm back at it lol. Didn't want to start a new post so figured I'd just reply to this one. Need some accountability buddies.
I'd be a terrible accountability buddy, but if you let us know what you did, and why you think it failed, we should be able to offer some suggestions on what to do differently this time.
I bet the vast majority have failed at least once, so you are in good company
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Nope. You didn’t fail.
You’re back at it. That isn’t a fail.
If you never came back? THAT would be failing.
Weight management doesn’t end. You keep going. You roll with the punches. Some of those punches might knock you out for a bit. But if you get back up and keep on going? That’s how it works.
And it gets easier over time. You start to learn what triggers you. What works. How to measure accurately. Your tastes actually change. You start eating differently. Exercising more…. Because suddenly it’s fun. Or at least not absolutely horrible.
You, Sir, have not failed. You’re still on the path. Taking your next step.
That’s winning.6 -
Okay the past is the past. You came back. You admit your failure. Now what have you learned from it? You FAIL to learn new info and how to succeed.
So my advice............WRITE DOWN a plan. Writing it down helps you to really absorb it and think about what you're trying to achieve. Make sure your calorie deficit is MODERATE so you don't frustrate yourself quickly. Post it where you can see it everyday. And then follow the routine to a tee. When it becomes routine, you don't even have to think about what to do or need much motivation. If vegetables aren't that appealing to you, then just pick the ones you do like. When it comes to burning off more calories, start by walking. 1/4 mile at first, then 1/2, then 1 mile and so on. Once you've gotten used to a little exercise, you can add in a few more exercises a little at a time. If you're CONSISTENT on a day to day basis, you will succeed. Last guy I did this with went from 360lbs to 250lbs in about a year. YOU have to really want to do this to make it happen.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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RichardAllenWayne wrote: »Guess what.... I failed. Well I'm back at it lol. Didn't want to start a new post so figured I'd just reply to this one. Need some accountability buddies.
You only fail when you stop trying. You're here again aren't you?? Fresh start, maybe some new friends, new ideas?
I wasn't here your 1st time around so didn't read your original post. But here now.
If you'd like a new friend, please feel free to add me to the list.
While I still struggle to not binge, I usually stay within a few pounds of where I want to be, having lost a total of about 100# from my highest(unless you count every yo-yo diet I've had then it's more like 1K). I have to face it'll always be up and down for me. 
BUT this place has kept me more on the straight and narrow than anything else I've ever done in my life.
I've found tracking calories has helped the most, then comes not allowing certain foods in the house that I find too tempting. THE one hardest thing has been to control my mindset, which is a daily work in progress. No way around it, unless I can find that gotta-have-food on/off switch.
Anyways, you've already gotten tons of good advice. Add me if you'd like. And best of luck to you!!!!1 -
The key in losing weight, and take this from someone who has lost over 189 pounds, is to make small, SUSTAINABLE changes. this is a long term effort. not a sprint. you will not lose weight fast. you will not lose weight every week. you will have weeks on end with NO weight loss. its normal. trust the process.
my main tips:
learn how to weigh (on a food scale) your food properly and find ACCURATE database entries now. I don't know what your starting weight is, but at first you may have a lot of room for error. but as you have less to lose, you don't. If you learn how to do things properly from the beginning, it means you don' have to RE-LEARN how to do it later.
Find an activity you ENJOY. You don't have to be a runner (ew). You don't have to work out at all to lose weight (weight loss happens in the kitchen). BUT... physical activity does have a LOT of benefits. Both mental and physical. It can be as simple as a leisurely stroll a few times a week. And as you lose weight, you may find (I did), that you WANT to do more. Simple, little things like parking a bit further out in parking lots. Taking stairs instead of elevators. walking to your mailbox instead of pulling up to it in your car as you are pulling in your driveway. Small things. Every bit counts.
Understand that you do not have to give up your favorite foods or any food groups to lose weight. You DO need to learn how MUCH you can eat. Portion control. This goes back to my first point. For the most part, I eat the same things I always have. Just less of them. I eat burgers and pizza and chips and cookies. Just ... not all in the same day
well, I might could get away with it if I planned it out REALLY well. And stuck to the plan with NO deviation. Maybe. LOL
And lastly, you will have 'bad' days. Whether its a holiday or just a ... bad day. Life happens. you will go over. It is NOT the end of the world. You will not ruin your deficit with one bad day. The problems come in when that one bad day becomes two, becomes 3, becomes a week, and goes on....
You've got this. Take it one day at a time, and each day, try to do a little bit better. Don't try to do everything all at once. Don't try to make 1000 changes all at once. Most people who burn out, do so because they try to do too much, too soon. start small. build from there. You did not gain the weight quickly. You will not lose it quickly. Better to lose it slowly, and KEEP IT OFF, then lose it quick, and gain it all back and more!
Youve got this! Take it one day at time!7 -
Smart logical helpful ^^^^^^^2
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You haven't failed. You just haven't found a good enough reason to lose weight. Yet. Why do you want to lose weight? In your profile there are two girls in the background. Are they your daughter's? Nieces? If so, is that why you want to lose weight? So that you will have more healthy days to spend with them? You have a big smile on your face in the picture. Do you want to lose weight so that you'll have more fun days doing things and being active? Do you have knee or hip pain that might be relieved if you lost weight? Whatever it is, find your reason and make that your daily focus.
My husband has several health issues. He has one of those flippy pill cases with the days of the week for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. One day it just hit me.....that would be my future if I didn't buckle down and lose weight. And all of a sudden losing weight became quite simple. Not always easy, but definitely simple. I just needed to burn more calories than I ate. I wanted to be healthy. That was my goal. If, in 5 or 10 years, I find myself diagnosed with some type of ailment, I want to be able to say "I tried my best". I never want to say "I wonder if I could have prevented this if I'd eaten better and moved more."
It took me 3 years to lose 90 pounds. I lost the weight, but I also enjoyed life. I celebrated holidays. I took vacations. I had that piece of birthday cake and glass of wine. And then I'd get right back at it. Some people might need to be stricter with their food or they completely fall off the rails. That wasn't me though. But where I had to be disciplined was with my exercise. Yes, I started out slowly, but over time I saw improvement and that positive reinforcement kept me going.
People have given you lots of good, practical advice, and here's mine: Figure out why it is you want to lose weight and make that your daily mantra. "It's for my health". Or "I want to go horseback riding." Whatever it is, just find your reason. And then take it 10 pounds at a time.
We're all cheering for you.6 -
RichardAllenWayne wrote: »Guess what.... I failed. Well I'm back at it lol. Didn't want to start a new post so figured I'd just reply to this one. Need some accountability buddies.
Your situation sounds a lot like mine, and I too have failed more times than I can count. But guess what, we're still here, trying again, and we just gotta keep trying until it sticks.1 -
Yo, Call-ziez, have you ever dropped by the larger losers sub group?
Not a bad place to hang out in... the OP too might find it interesting and some of the very thoughtful posts by Novus there which largely parallel your thought process; and mine while we're at it, or the other way around... who knows!
@callsitlikeiseeit2 -
Yo, Call-ziez, have you ever dropped by the larger losers sub group?
Not a bad place to hang out in... the OP too might find it interesting and some of the very thoughtful posts by Novus there which largely parallel your thought process; and mine while we're at it, or the other way around... who knows!
@callsitlikeiseeit
i have not i dont think.
sometimes i have the patience to be in the forums and sometimes i dont. when i dont, im usually absent for long stretches of time LOL2 -
I’m really new at all of this but wanted to throw out since I didn’t see anyone else discussing… my insurance paid for a nutritionist. The work has been all on me, but it was nice getting a shove in the right direction.2
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RichardAllenWayne wrote: »Guess what.... I failed. Well I'm back at it lol. Didn't want to start a new post so figured I'd just reply to this one. Need some accountability buddies.
As others have said the key is you came back. When I started in 2011 I didn't have as much to lose but realized that I had to start. I finally accepted that I had to make changes that would stick for life so I started small. Made only one or two small changes each week and as those became a habit I added more. It took over two years to lose 85 lbs and I've never looked back.
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There is a light at the end of this tunnel and you will make it! Have you thought about addressing your issues behind gaining weight/overeating? I think you can change your diet forever once you fall in love with taking care of yourself. I would start with learning meditation and possibly talk therapy. You know what to do. You just have to figure out how to get yourself to do it. To do that, it would be helpful to find out why you are treating yourself so badly. It really is an inside job. You can do it!!! ♥️0
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