New and A Little Scared

Hey everyone. I'm Jeanie and my health journey has been...awkward.

A little background info. I have never had the greatest relationship with food. I grew up poor, so we ate when we could. I was diagnosed with some mental health issues in the 90s and the medication they put me on took away my appetite entirely. I weighed 98 lbs when I graduated. When I came off my meds in my 20s, I put on a little weight, healthy weight.
For a decade I really loved my body. I wasn't tired. I wasn't anemic. I was happy.

Five years ago my husband got diagnosed with cancer. It was a struggle. We survived, but it wasn't easy. Then he got injured at work. Everything in the house decided to break at the same time. A car accident. Two cases of stolen identity. The loss of my favorite family member. We were told that kids just weren't in the equation for us. I got let go from my job because of COVID and lots of other stresses. What I'm saying is that I ate my problems. In the last five years I've gone from a healthy weight to a not so healthy weight. I am around 5'2" tall and weigh around 190 lbs, though that can fluctuate a bit. The doctor has told me that this weight gain has put stress on my heart and my cholesterol levels are crap.

Did I mention I'm agoraphobic? Yup. That has not helped with my activity levels. And on top of that I'm on more medications that make it hard to feel hungry and to lose weight.

But I'm here. I'm going to try.

Replies

  • lynn_glenmont
    lynn_glenmont Posts: 9,959 Member
    I'm so sorry you've had to face so much. Best of luck on losing the weight.
  • booboo1000
    booboo1000 Posts: 58 Member
    Hi @BookishCatLady, I understand that you are scared, but I am proof that you can do this! I'm likely considerably older than you, but also 5'2" and limited in how active I can be. I am now half my highest weight of 226. I'm not going to stay this small once COVID is over, but I intend to stay below 120. I was probably around 190 two years ago and worked the change slowly at first, focusing mainly on not gaining more by maintaining a healthier diet.

    Then COVID came and I realized I had most of the preexisting conditions they warn against and needed to lose more than I ever thought possible. Even so, I set small goals, never more than 10 pounds at a time. Because I am at huge risk of problems if I was to get COVID, I have a strategy to remind myself every day that my food choices are just as important as being vaccinated and masking in the age of variants.

    I do not feel deprived. I have done it very inexpensively as I don't eat much meat, I love beans, and like using frozen vegetable to make soups and stews. I am also happy with the same breakfast (homemade spiced oatmeal) every morning. I make my own high protein non-fat yogurt and eat plenty of nuts. I am able to walk 2 to 3 miles without being drained too badly and try to get in several walks a week.

    Even inside the house you can be active with things like stepping in place during commercials and internet fitness routines.

    It can seem daunting at first but I found that using MFP helped me remain accountable to myself.


  • springlering62
    springlering62 Posts: 7,387 Member
    How can we help you marshal your forces?
  • BookishCatLady
    BookishCatLady Posts: 5 Member
    How can we help you marshal your forces?

    Like, you kind of already have. I cannot tell you what the words of you and other means to me, because like, wow. You literally brought tears to my eyes. *kitten* attitude and all.
  • LeeH31
    LeeH31 Posts: 312 Member
    edited September 2021
    @BookishCatLady Hello Jeanie. Wow! you have survived a LOT of stuff. I agree with @springerling62. You are stronger than fat! Please don't be a "one hit (post) wonder". There are folks here that will give you all the support and encouragement you need, but you gotta interact!

    Hugs!
  • BookishCatLady
    BookishCatLady Posts: 5 Member
    LeeH31 wrote: »
    @BookishCatLady Hello Jeanie. Wow! you have survived a LOT of stuff. I agree with @springerling62. You are stronger than fat! Please don't be a "one hit (post) wonder". There are folks here that will give you all the support and encouragement you need, but you gotta interact!

    Hugs!

    You are absolutely 100% right. Thank you. I guess I am always like "no one needs to hear what I think."
  • LeeH31
    LeeH31 Posts: 312 Member
    @bookishcatlady AHA!!! There you are! ;) Hi honey. If we didn't want to "hear" you we wouldn't have replied. Just remember that encouragement and all that is a two-way street. So it is definitely a case of: If you want a friend, you have to BE a friend.

    So, as @springerling62 asked, whatcha need? (Obnoxiously nosey questions to follow)
    Did you set up your goals section?
    Have you decided on your first mini-goal?
    Are you ready to make this a change for life-not a "diet"?
    Are you ready to develop new, healthy HABITS?

    Some suggestions: Willpower and encouragement only get you so far. Good habits will carry you through the rough times. Just like you brush your teeth, make the beds, clean the house. Not because you just live for the thrill of it, but because they are habits.

    Hugs for your physical, mental and emotional pain. You can do this, sweetie.
  • BookishCatLady
    BookishCatLady Posts: 5 Member
    Oh goodness :p thank you for all the encouragement everyone.

    Well @springerling62 and @LeeH31 I think that right now I need to develop a better relationship with food? I went from never eating to eating every time I got bored/stressed, so I think my first real step is to develop set meals for myself. Eating a breakfast, lunch, and dinner and a healthy snack every day. I know it's not the same as trying to get to a certain weight or calorie count, but I think it is what is going to work best for me.

    My mini goal? Put away all the clothes that have gathered on top of my stationary bike. That poor thing has become a laundry basket. Once I've done that, I'll start figuring out a way to work riding the bike into my daily tasks. Sitting home all day is not exactly the healthiest thing, now is it?

    I am honestly open to ideas.

    I do want this to be a life change. I have seen other people suffer with their poor health and I don't want to be that. I'm working on building myself back up and I want the body I live in to be as happy as it can be, from the brain all the way down to the toes.
  • LeeH31
    LeeH31 Posts: 312 Member
    @BookishCatLady Hi Jeanie. It is a little known fact that decluttering lightens your mood AND mental stress. Which motivates you to do more. It can be addictive . . . ask me how I know!😁
    so I think my first real step is to develop set meals for myself. Eating a breakfast, lunch, and dinner and a healthy snack every day. I know it's not the same as trying to get to a certain weight or calorie count, but I think it is what is going to work best for me.

    Have you thought about just trying to track what you eat for awhile? Eat as you normally would, but get used to tracking. Surprisingly, just being aware of your consumption may cause you to ease up on your portions. It gets your mind used to thinking "Am I really hungry, or just bored?" Tracking also gives you a sense of control.

    Example: I made a chocolate cake for our anniversary. I do not like to eat thawed, frozen cake. Therefore I enter that piece of cake into my evening snack every day until it is gone. I can then see what calories I have left for the rest of the day and plan my meals accordingly. And I am doing this on 1400 calories a day. You would have a more generous calorie "allowance" at 1/2 pound/week.

    I am a big fan of having the same thing every day for breakfast(if I eat it) and lunch, but change it up for dinner.

    I wouldn't worry about an ultimate goal weight, but if you set up your tracker with, say, a goal to lose 1/2 pound a week for 10 pounds, you would find that your calorie allowance is quite generous. Each time you lose 10 pounds, change your goal again.

    As far as what you choose to eat, be sure to get adequate protein so you don't lose muscle instead of fat.

    Okay, I'll stop there, and remember, opinions are just that, opinions. Ultimately you must do what works for you. Just do SOMETHING!

    Hugs,

    Lee

  • JBanx256
    JBanx256 Posts: 1,471 Member
    Jeanie, the things you've been through would absolutely break a lot of people.

    You may have bent, but you didn't break.

    Improving your health isn't gonna break you either!
  • springlering62
    springlering62 Posts: 7,387 Member
    Simple and dumb question, since you’re “bookish”.

    I got a stationery bike earlier this year. I had one before I never used and yeah, it became a coat rack. I swore to myself I’d use this one, so I keep my kindle on it.

    I love vintage mysteries and adventure novels, mostly from the inter-war period. I downloaded a bunch for free from Amazon and fadedpage.com.

    The bike is the only place I permit myself to read them.

    Now it’s something I look forward to! I just finished the whole Philo Vance series (formulaic but quick reads), then re-read an Allingham (lovely writer).

    There’s a 1920’s author whose name escapes me, but he writes the best cliffhangers, perfect for thirty minutes on the bike. I’m going to reread some of his.

    Right now I’m reading an unexpectedly delightful John Buchan book called Castle Gay. It’s an absolute joy, in spite of the first chapter, which was a loving story of a rugby game. I will be sorry when this one ends. It’s a sort of Forster meets PG Wodehouse meets leCarre, with tongue firmly in cheek.