Suffering is not a virtue
Replies
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I consider healthy, nutritious meals to be a form of self care where I provide my body what it needs for optimal function.
Sure, if I've conditioned myself to crave sugar, then a cookie will provide a surge of happy brain chemicals, but it won't make my body feel good, so I don't code it as a reward. I'm not denying myself anything by not eating crap food, I'm protecting myself from indigestion and lethargy.
Likewise, exercise is not punishment. I'm primarily motivated to exercise because it makes my body and mood feel better. I do the exercise that my body literally craves because sitting or lying around creates aches, and stretching and strengthening really help combat those aches. Also, a burst of cardio can provide even more of a surge in happy brain chemicals than the cookie.
Taking optimal care of my body is self care driven by self love, not a punishment I put my body through because I don't think it's good enough.8 -
I consider healthy, nutritious meals to be a form of self care where I provide my body what it needs for optimal function.
Sure, if I've conditioned myself to crave sugar, then a cookie will provide a surge of happy brain chemicals, but it won't make my body feel good, so I don't code it as a reward. I'm not denying myself anything by not eating crap food, I'm protecting myself from indigestion and lethargy.
Likewise, exercise is not punishment. I'm primarily motivated to exercise because it makes my body and mood feel better. I do the exercise that my body literally craves because sitting or lying around creates aches, and stretching and strengthening really help combat those aches. Also, a burst of cardio can provide even more of a surge in happy brain chemicals than the cookie.
Taking optimal care of my body is self care driven by self love, not a punishment I put my body through because I don't think it's good enough.
Yep, this mindshift was huge fore in terms of losing and more importantly, sustaining weight loss.1 -
I consider healthy, nutritious meals to be a form of self care where I provide my body what it needs for optimal function.
Sure, if I've conditioned myself to crave sugar, then a cookie will provide a surge of happy brain chemicals, but it won't make my body feel good, so I don't code it as a reward. I'm not denying myself anything by not eating crap food, I'm protecting myself from indigestion and lethargy.
Likewise, exercise is not punishment. I'm primarily motivated to exercise because it makes my body and mood feel better. I do the exercise that my body literally craves because sitting or lying around creates aches, and stretching and strengthening really help combat those aches. Also, a burst of cardio can provide even more of a surge in happy brain chemicals than the cookie.
Taking optimal care of my body is self care driven by self love, not a punishment I put my body through because I don't think it's good enough.
so agree with this...
I find when I treat my body as it should be treated I feel amazing...
Now if I go off the rails and do stupid stuff like drink too much, don't get enough sleep or good sleep, eat food that is mediocre in taste and health benefits...I pay...and it's just not worth the cost to me now...
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I consider healthy, nutritious meals to be a form of self care where I provide my body what it needs for optimal function.
Sure, if I've conditioned myself to crave sugar, then a cookie will provide a surge of happy brain chemicals, but it won't make my body feel good, so I don't code it as a reward. I'm not denying myself anything by not eating crap food, I'm protecting myself from indigestion and lethargy.
Likewise, exercise is not punishment. I'm primarily motivated to exercise because it makes my body and mood feel better. I do the exercise that my body literally craves because sitting or lying around creates aches, and stretching and strengthening really help combat those aches. Also, a burst of cardio can provide even more of a surge in happy brain chemicals than the cookie.
Taking optimal care of my body is self care driven by self love, not a punishment I put my body through because I don't think it's good enough.
so agree with this...
I find when I treat my body as it should be treated I feel amazing...
Now if I go off the rails and do stupid stuff like drink too much, don't get enough sleep or good sleep, eat food that is mediocre in taste and health benefits...I pay...and it's just not worth the cost to me now...
Exactly. Since I quit drinking, especially, I'm very, very in tune with what my body wants and needs.
Most people struggle with this not because it's hard, but because they usually have some kind of unmet need that drives self-medicating behaviours.
It's not the food they want, no body's body actually wants food or alcohol that makes us feel like total crap. It's the release of brain chemicals.
So the key is to understand what emotional unmet need is triggering the pattern of self medication to get those bursts of brain chemicals at the expense of properly fueling your body?
The usual culprit is too much stress or unresolved emotional trauma. Either way, this is why I say that the best diet is a good therapist. Because if unmet emotional needs are being self medicated with food or alcohol or both, then if you take those away, you just have the same emotional needs not being met at all.4 -
The difference in experiences between individuals is vast.
I, for one, am not 'self medicating' when I eat potato chips, cookies or whatever treat food I choose to eat. I simply enjoy these foods occasionally and they do not make me feel like crap. I can eat some grapefruit as an evening snack or half a tub of Ben & Jerry's, it makes no difference in how I feel. Denying myself ice-cream, potato chips etc. 'forever', now that would be suffering to me, because I simply enjoy these foods and they are not 'bad' in the context of an overall healthy diet.15 -
The difference in experiences between individuals is vast.
I, for one, am not 'self medicating' when I eat potato chips, cookies or whatever treat food I choose to eat. I simply enjoy these foods occasionally and they do not make me feel like crap. I can eat some grapefruit as an evening snack or half a tub of Ben & Jerry's, it makes no difference in how I feel. Denying myself ice-cream, potato chips etc. 'forever', now that would be suffering to me, because I simply enjoy these foods and they are not 'bad' in the context of an overall healthy diet.
Yep, this is me too.
I have a very healthy diet most of the time and feel good for it, but I am not going to pretend I don't also enjoy some ice cream, or a candy bar. For me the healthiest thing is balance - in everything - and for me that does not mean 100% healthy and 100% denial all the time. I am not eating my feelings - I've never been an emotional eater - I am nto self-medicating. I'm eating food I enjoy.
And I'm not going to STOP eating food I enjoy. Honestly doing so would just be ego for me. Some sort of high horse or punishment.
No thanks.
I run 3 miles every morning, hike upward of 15 miles most week, compete in sports, have some other active hobbies that are seasonal, do strength training, eat a ton of protein, enough fruit and veg, healthy fat, complex carbs. There's room in my 'eat 2200 calories a day' to eat some ice cream or candy and still be healthy. So I'm doing that. I like those foods, they don't make me feel bad, and not indulging them on occasion would be really arbitrary. Why would I do that?
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also tbf at this juncture I have a harder time getting enough calories than I do with staying under my calorie limit. I weigh 127 lbs. I have, absolute max, 2 pounds I can afford to lose. A couple of hundred calories in a candy bar is a good thing.
Which sounds like some kind of humble-brag but isn't. 200 easy enjoyable calories for me in a reese's cup is useful.4 -
Seems to me that long term success is mostly about habit formation. Replacing the negative activities that bring short term reward, with new habits(formed over time) that deliver a new "reward". Motivation comes and goes, but once habits are solidly entrenched, things become almost automatic, such as with diet and exercise.
I found Duhigg's book, "The Power of Habit" to be very enlightening as far as understanding the behavioral feedback loops that led to various outcomes, whether positive or negative.
As far as suffering, I have conditioned myself to embrace it during endurance events, given the huge payoff upon completion of a race or a hard training day. That same approach would not work for me when it comes to long term eating plans. So I'm squarely in the "incremental changes are best" camp when it comes to achieving long term success.
Great book - I think I will reread it.0 -
The difference in experiences between individuals is vast.
I, for one, am not 'self medicating' when I eat potato chips, cookies or whatever treat food I choose to eat. I simply enjoy these foods occasionally and they do not make me feel like crap. I can eat some grapefruit as an evening snack or half a tub of Ben & Jerry's, it makes no difference in how I feel. Denying myself ice-cream, potato chips etc. 'forever', now that would be suffering to me, because I simply enjoy these foods and they are not 'bad' in the context of an overall healthy diet.
To be clear, I'm not saying that eating chips or ice cream is self medicating, I'm saying that compulsively eating foods that you don't want to be eating is self medicating.
People who enjoy all sorts of foods as part of an overall healthy diet are healthy. But there are tons of people out there, and on this site who find themselves eating things they do not want to be eating. That's what I'm talking about.
It's those cases where just knuckling down, being more strict, and beating oneself up for the behaviour isn't health, and won't help.3
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