At Goal & Successfully Maintaining. So Why Am I Doing This All Over Again?
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I've noticed the same tendency for imposter syndrome in my personal and professional lives as something I constantly need to be mindful of and manage.springlering62 wrote: »I overlooked the strength of positive self-talk/identity for way too long. It amazes me how much we have get out of our own way sometimes.
I just totally stole that from @steveko89 on another thread.
That’s the finest piece of advice I’ve heard since BL telling me to let things go because “it’s better than it was before”.
That goes in the cache of Super Quotes.
I agree that it belongs in the Super Quotes! Also, never underestimate the (negative) power of imposter syndrome. It really exists and really messes with you. Case in point: Some relatives were asking me about my weight loss at Thanksgiving. The number of times I heard "Oh, I could never be that weight" was pretty astounding. That's imposter syndrome, folks. You can be anything!
@springlering62 Your husband is doing so well! I'm really enjoying the updates. Keep 'em comin'!1 -
springlering62 wrote: »I overlooked the strength of positive self-talk/identity for way too long. It amazes me how much we have get out of our own way sometimes.
I just totally stole that from @steveko89 on another thread.
(snip)
I'd like to underscore something I really like about that quote: I feel like we hear "you have to belieeeeve in yourself" way too often. Not only is that eye-roll-y (to me, anyway), I don't think it's correct.
IMO @steveko89 is correct: We just have to get out of our own way.
When I first started being active, after cancer treatment in my 40s, I didn't "believe in myself" . . . I don't think I had the emotional energy, really. I just wanted to recover some reasonable strength, health, and energy - modest ambitions. I'd been one of those "picked last in gym" kids, nerdy, bookish, physically pretty inept, not someone who was active or competing in organized sports my whole life (pretty much never!).
But getting out of my own way was achievable (kind of by accident, honestly) in that context: I was willing to put in the work, and see what happened. Open mind, and work, nothing more. (It wasn't even super hard work, really, just steadily a manageable but continuing challenge to then-current abilities.)
Result: I surprised myself, profoundly, after a couple of years of patience and steady work (and progress along the route), just by keeping an open mind, being willing to try. One of my friends, after my first race, put it really well: "Ann T a jock: Who would've thought?!?". Not me.
Twenty-some years later, I'm still doing the things, and I have a lot more confidence about what I can do.
Getting out of our own way is enough.12 -
Agreed. We often take things we DO (or don't do) and turn them into some immutable trait or inherent identity. It doesn't work that way. The only difference between 'someone who jogs' and 'someone who doesn't' is that one of them gets up and jogs and the other one doesn't.
(I became a jogger. I used to hate it. I think I hated it because it didn't fit my self-image. Turns out my self-image was dumb. And not nearly as concrete as I thought it was)8 -
wunderkindking wrote: »The only difference between 'someone who jogs' and 'someone who doesn't' is that one of them gets up and jogs and the other one doesn't.
This one is a candidate for the Super Quotes too!
Love it.
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Oh my god! I had no idea and I often have the same things daily and just did it meal by meal but day by day! Thank you!goal06082021 wrote: »NB: for Android users, the "Edit" button is a little pencil icon in the upper right, instead of the word "edit" in the upper left like on iOS. Which I *did* see before right this very second, but never bothered to tap on it to see what it was, maybe I assumed it was like...a quick-access Notes button? Idk. But it is indeed the Edit feature. Heck.
Next you'll tell me there's a way to copy the whole day at once, or use recipes as ingredients in other recipes.
Pencil button, check mark at the top to select the whole day and then tap on the the dots and you'll see 'copy to date' as an option 😉
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cowsanddogsarecute wrote: »Oh my god! I had no idea and I often have the same things daily and just did it meal by meal but day by day! Thank you!goal06082021 wrote: »NB: for Android users, the "Edit" button is a little pencil icon in the upper right, instead of the word "edit" in the upper left like on iOS. Which I *did* see before right this very second, but never bothered to tap on it to see what it was, maybe I assumed it was like...a quick-access Notes button? Idk. But it is indeed the Edit feature. Heck.
Next you'll tell me there's a way to copy the whole day at once, or use recipes as ingredients in other recipes.
Pencil button, check mark at the top to select the whole day and then tap on the the dots and you'll see 'copy to date' as an option 😉
I didn't know this was a thing either... the magnitude of this revelation to me is probably clinically dubious at this point but I AM SHOOK with excitement about this.3 -
@steveko89
Imposter syndrome. That’s interesting, and really really hits me in the feelz.
I was justifying (let’s be honest. Rationalizing) to an instructor today why I work out so much. You summed up in two words what I couldn’t express to him. Imposter Syndrome.
I’m afraid one day every one - including me- will realize “she’s still fat and doesn’t belong here”.
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springlering62 wrote: »@steveko89
Imposter syndrome. That’s interesting, and really really hits me in the feelz.
I was justifying (let’s be honest. Rationalizing) to an instructor today why I work out so much. You summed up in two words what I couldn’t express to him. Imposter Syndrome.
I’m afraid one day every one - including me- will realize “she’s still fat and doesn’t belong here”.
Yeah, my internal monologue can get super toxic, not just about my body or fitness.
"You're so bad at your job, no one takes you seriously, they should just fire you"
"You're such an annoying partner, she should just leave you"
"Look at all your flaws; you've burdened your son with them"14 -
springlering62 wrote: »Y’all’s feedback is truly interesting. BL is a retired analyst and spreadsheet master for an international beverage company. I don’t know why I didn’t expect him to glom onto the watch data. He’s been so disinterested until he got one on his wrist.
In two days it’s already unleashing his inner statistician, which is good and bad. He’s already increased his steps pretty dramatically, but is downright angry that Tai Chi doesn’t get more activity points. (Dude, first of all, you have to “start” the workout. Second of all, you’ve got to find a similar workout category. Third of all, his supportive wife has been in this Tai Chi class many times and very nearly poked my eyeballs out from boredom. I don’t expect many calories burned although I can see how it helps with balance and joint movement.)
It does become easy to obsess over digital rewards and challenges. I had to stop doing Apple Watch group challenges for months because I’d find myself heatedly screaming at anonymous teammates “put the damn watch on your wrist!!!!” And the individual challenge turned into floods of tears when I came down with Covid the last few days of one and dropped
to a much lower score.
I sincerely wish Apple, in their zeal to prod me to improve my health, would recognize the need to build in rest days.
And their algorithms to encourage you to improve
are laughable. They snowball with success.
This is my challenge for November:
springlering62 wrote: »Y’all’s feedback is truly interesting. BL is a retired analyst and spreadsheet master for an international beverage company. I don’t know why I didn’t expect him to glom onto the watch data. He’s been so disinterested until he got one on his wrist.
In two days it’s already unleashing his inner statistician, which is good and bad. He’s already increased his steps pretty dramatically, but is downright angry that Tai Chi doesn’t get more activity points. (Dude, first of all, you have to “start” the workout. Second of all, you’ve got to find a similar workout category. Third of all, his supportive wife has been in this Tai Chi class many times and very nearly poked my eyeballs out from boredom. I don’t expect many calories burned although I can see how it helps with balance and joint movement.)
It does become easy to obsess over digital rewards and challenges. I had to stop doing Apple Watch group challenges for months because I’d find myself heatedly screaming at anonymous teammates “put the damn watch on your wrist!!!!” And the individual challenge turned into floods of tears when I came down with Covid the last few days of one and dropped
to a much lower score.
I sincerely wish Apple, in their zeal to prod me to improve my health, would recognize the need to build in rest days.
And their algorithms to encourage you to improve
are laughable. They snowball with success.
This is my challenge for November:
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My iPad has just updated and everything is working differently! Somehow I’ve reposted your post twice without my comment. I thought my November challenge was crazy- 110 exercise minutes per day! I love the watch, but I do get compulsive about it. Also, I don’t trust the calorie allocation. Im often tracking my runs or bikes on Peloton, which is linked to Strava, and if I record my time on my watch, I often get double credit. Sometimes I delete it after the fact, but I try to avoid too many additional calories for a workout- within reason. Also, my long runs make me hungry the NEXT day, not the day of the run. But honestly, if I can control my compulsiveness, it does help motivate.2
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Finally got BL to try skyr.
Made him a bowl, topped with a squirt of whipped cream, a pinch of hagel, a spoonful of chopped walnuts, and zero cal chocolate and strawberry syrups.
He came bouncing upstairs with the empty bowl. “Wow that was great! It tasted like ice cream!”
I just noticed there’s two fresh containers of skyr in the fridge this evening. 🤔
He also finally tried my version of @Noreenmarie1234’s pumpkin pudding and liked it. I’ve been begging him to try it for the past couple years. It’s sooooo good. Sheesh. He should know I ain’t got no time for yucko desserts.7 -
This brings up an interesting thing I've noticed in myself.
I still eat some kind of dessert/traditional 'sweet treat' almost every day. Never stopped. Don't find them too sweet or anything. They're still as delicious as they ever were.
Yet I find I like a whole lot of foods now I use to REALLY not like when I was obese -- like greek yogurt and avocados and, heck, artifically sweetened sweet things (commercial or homemade) and am virtually immune to things tasting 'proteiny'
So, my tastes have changed not being obese, but not in the way so often talked about.
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This has come up on the boards several times this week with gentlemen of similar weight and age to BL, who are trying to reach an arbitrary goal of 1200 per day.
Somewhere in our vague and distant past (give us a break, we’re old grey headed possums!) we remember that 1200 is “golden” for some reason. (Maybe it was the only thing our teenage brains retained from those awful bumpity clackity projector reels in health class. )
1200 is not the holy grail. MFP won’t permit you to set a goal of less than 1200 for women if any age, weight or height. The MFP threshold for men is 1500.
There’s a reason for this. Several, in fact.
Too low of a goal is not enough to fuel your body. What happens when you’re not giving it enough fuel?
Ahem, older dudes. Hair loss. It may take few months to show up but when it does, malnutrition related hair loss is the dickens for even a youthful scalp to grow back, much less an aging (delightfully, I’m sure) one.
Other symptoms: muscle loss (something we can ill afford at our age), fatigue, and, because your heart is the largest muscle in your body, potential heart damage. Oh, and let’s not forget….ummmm……blush…….ummmmm……. the damning effect on male virility.
And then there’s the rebound effect. Eat way too little and endure hunger. Binge. Feel guilty. Try again, perhaps cut even more. Rinse and repeat. Less food=less weight, right? Nope. It’s the #1 reason I’ve seen people drop off here, or come back saying “I lost it, gained it all back, and I’m here again.”
With weight loss, the slow turtle who takes the time to learn, adjust, weigh and log really does win the race.
BL (aka Beloved, my husband) is 66. He started just under 250, at 1910 recommended calories per day, with a reasonable 1 pound per week weight loss goal.
Pretty soon, he realized that under MFP’s plan, exercise would “buy back” more calories to eat.
He’s moving more. He now joins me more frequently walking our new rescue dog. He’s upped his aquafit classes to five or six times a week, and does a couple of “Fit Gen” cardio type classes, too, as well as Tai Chi twice a week.
A fitness tracker has been really motivating for him. (Apple Watch in his case, but there’s other good ones: Fitbit, Garmin.)
I don’t stalk his diary, but he does have me providing the same healthier meals I eat since I follow MFP, too, and he’s realized some of my low cal snacks are pretty darn good.
Since he started in late August, he’s lost at least 30 pounds. (He doesn’t care to weigh himself, so his last weigh in was weeks ago.). He’s dropped a pants size (fixing to drop another), is now down into XL shirts. I can feel the difference when I hug him or when all of us (him, me, the dog and a cat or two) snuggle like an onion in the morning. (I’d call it spooning, but apparently those damn Millennials have turned spooning into something naughty).
He is NOT surviving on 1200 calories a day.
He is THRIVING on 1910+exercise calories.
If you’re a guy (of any age!) and you’re doing 1200 calories a day, please please please rethink what you’re doing. You say you’re doing this for your health, right? Well do it healthily!!!!!!
TL:DR if you’re eating 1200 calories a day, are you nuts or do you just enjoy the self flagellation?
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Suddenly, I find myself the family guru for weight loss. Everyone wants advice.
This mornings question was someone who was “hangry”.
They’re successfully eating at or under their calorie goal, but getting hungry “eating what they like”.
I took a look at their diary ( 👋🏻 I don’t snoop unless asked) and noticed that a large part of their foods were carefully recorded candy, breads, frozen pizza, and soups. (They’ve been without a kitchen for months due to supply chain and Covid issues, so to be fair, they’re struggling to eat healthily, which is one reason for the weight gain. There’s only so much you can do with an InstaPot and a microwave.)
They also didn’t finish using up their calories a couple days ago, which left them really short, and probably accounts for some of the “hangry” today.
This was my (somewhat didactic) response:
Eating what you like is great, but you also have to account for satiation.
I’d “like” to eat a whole bag of chocolates and it’d fit in my calories, but I wouldn’t have room for anything else. I’d be starving an hour after finishing.
There are three macros : fat carbs and protein. Most people find one of the three more filling than the other. Typically protein is the most filling.
So yeah, I eat small portions of sweets (mostly fruits or yogurt with sugar free syrups or pudding added in) but I focus on protein.
I just ate pumpkin pancakes for breakfast. I add extra egg whites and protein powder to amp up the protein so they’ll hold me til lunch time.
I either use sugar free syrup or a sparing little bit of maple syrup to sweeten them up.
Lunch will be a grilled chicken wrap or chicken sausages on lite bread, and dinner will be fish tacos. That all has a lot of protein.
My snacks are cottage cheese, yogurt pudding or skyr, protein bar etc. all geared to keep a trickle of protein coming all day. It reduces munchies plus I enjoy the cottage cheese with fruit and balsamic.
You have very little weight to lose. The closer you are to goal, the smaller the weekly losses will be and the slower it goes. You could go nuts and eat under 1200, but as you already see, that just makes you hangry and want to eat all da foodz. It’s better to eat more and stay on an even keel.
And if you do go over once in a while it’s not the end of the frickin world. The next day you just shrug and stay within calories.
I also had them send screen shots of their goal page, and found some simple errors on it that might (or might not) be artificially lowering their calories.
Now that you’re more familiar with MFP, have you updated your goals page or checked it for accuracy? Your goals need to be updated every so often, say every 20 pounds lost until you get close to goal and then maybe every 5-10 pounds lost. Your goals don’t automatically update as you lose weight.6 -
Your tip about updating things once you’re more familiar with MFP is a good one. I was looking at a recipe I entered years ago and some of the components were really suspect—entries I wouldn’t have chosen today and that made a significant change in the calories/macros per serving. It’s good to review things every once in a while!3
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springlering62 wrote: »... that just makes you hangry and want to eat all da foodz. It’s better to eat more and stay on an even keel.
Thanks, as always, for the giggle. I was also finding myself wanting to eat all da foodz and had to readjust my calorie level so I don't rebound. The struggle is real. 
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@springlering62 Cottage cheese, fruit AND BALSAMIC? WHAAAAT?!!! It has never occurred to me to add balsamic to cottage cheese, and now I must try this! Do you use regular vinegar or glaze? Just a drizzle on top? Please teach me your ways!0
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@springlering62 Cottage cheese, fruit AND BALSAMIC? WHAAAAT?!!! It has never occurred to me to add balsamic to cottage cheese, and now I must try this! Do you use regular vinegar or glaze? Just a drizzle on top? Please teach me your ways!
LOL. Food of the gods, I’m telling ya. I’d rather have it than ice cream now. In fact, I’ve turned down ice cream and milkshakes to get home to make a bowl.
My preferred bowl:
140gr Serving Wymans frozen wild blueberries (available at Kroger, Walmart etc)
113 gr serving low fat cottage cheese
Sliced fresh strawberries
A few frozen cherries
Fruity balsamic vinegar, straight from the bottle, to taste. I prefer strawberry, blueberry or chocolate balsamic, usually about 30gr.
6-10 gr grape nuts sprinkled on top
If I’m really low on calories for whatever reason, I’ll (very) grudgingly halve the above.5 -
Fruity balsamic vinegar, straight from the bottle, to taste. I prefer strawberry, blueberry or chocolate balsamic, usually about 30gr.
6-10 gr grape nuts sprinkled on top
I had to laugh at 6-10 grape nuts, as a grape nut is about as big as a grape seed. But I also totally understand. I am the same way about granola, which is supposed to be a health food, and just isn't. It's high in carbs and fat and beneficial, maaaaybe, only in fiber. I have to have tiny servings, if any.
I don't eat a lot of vinegar but I do appreciate that it has tons of flavor, almost no carbs or fat, and hardly any sodium. It's like a miracle.
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ldaltonbishop wrote: »Fruity balsamic vinegar, straight from the bottle, to taste. I prefer strawberry, blueberry or chocolate balsamic, usually about 30gr.
6-10 gr grape nuts sprinkled on top
I had to laugh at 6-10 grape nuts, as a grape nut is about as big as a grape seed. But I also totally understand. I am the same way about granola, which is supposed to be a health food, and just isn't. It's high in carbs and fat and beneficial, maaaaybe, only in fiber. I have to have tiny servings, if any.
I don't eat a lot of vinegar but I do appreciate that it has tons of flavor, almost no carbs or fat, and hardly any sodium. It's like a miracle.
6-10 grams.
I’m anal, but not that anal. 🤷🏻♀️4
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