Christmas 2020
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Connie..... you can't make things perfect... right? You can make things better... but don't try for perfect. Way too much pressure on you! Hugz on the health challenge stuff. We spend most of our time on other pursuits... but that's where it starts and ends!
Thanks for reminding me!….I will lose the rest of my weight in 2022 and I will get out of this rut in a bit…I struggle with perfection….my daughter tells me there is a right way to do things, a wrong way, and Moms way!….it’s like with cleaning the house, baking, cleaning a closet or hanging up clothes…..we have different standards of what each of us think is perfect….I either eat right or I don’t….I fix something or throw it out…I do what I think is perfect, or I don’t do it….I am probably insane….it is hard for me to give my control of things to anyone else….my grandaughter loves to wrap Christmas gifts but I like them to look perfect….bows straight, ribbons curled, ends of paper folded just right….i have finally let her wrap them and I am “ ok “ with the results although mine would look better ( to me )…. She bakes cookies with me and I am constantly cleaning up flour or sprinkles…..she is immune to me I think because she still enjoys it but gosh, it must drive her crazy!…I am glad to say I really have mellowed the last few years…but I still struggle with handing over the reins…it’s a good thing that I can be really funny or my family would probably tie me up in a closet!…
My husband is a great guy but I worry about him constantly…he is only 67 but his health is not good….thank goodness he has such a great sense of humor because it keeps him going…and he thinks I am nuts, too!…but he is ok with it….
I will keep reminding myself that perfection is nearly impossible and I will only make things the best that I can….even if this means Aliyah can frost 8 cookies while I am on my first one!…and maybe I will let my food touch just a little bit!….lol2 -
Nooooooooo! You can't let it TOUCH! OH NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! But you should probably *kitten* can the notion of perfect vs bad food (eating good vs eating bad). At least for this puppy it was very liberating to separate the good and the bad for you from the how many calories and lbs is this thing going to stick to my ribs. Once the lbs are sorted out the rest is a great and exciting puzzle. But first things first!
Having said that... as a person who just keeps eating when agitated... I can't really say much when you're dealing with too many real issues. Health issues are a mind trip. Cookie frosting... maybe you can pass on the mind tripping over that, hey?!?!?!
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I concur with PAV’s comments. You have made things better for yourself over time. It’s only a few more holiday weeks ahead. No it won’t be perfect for any of us. And I can guarantee ALL of us will eat too much during the next few weeks.
The best comfort I can offer is to be gentle with yourself. The trees and lights will come down, the feasting end and cookies disappear. You will refocus. There’s a nice long year ahead. You and I and the others here have done this before. And we can do this again. 😍3 -
lots of hugs to you, Connie. I can't add any better words, but I'm thinking of you and as always am awestruck by what you manage to accomplish and stand up to every single day. You never wimp out. You fight the fight. Wow.2
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lauriekallis wrote: »lots of hugs to you, Connie. I can't add any better words, but I'm thinking of you and as always am awestruck by what you manage to accomplish and stand up to every single day. You never wimp out. You fight the fight. Wow.
What other choice is there but to keep fighting?….we all have our secret demons, just easier to let them out of the closet here!….I have a good life; crazy but good….I told my grandson the other day to never let his parents move into his house when he leaves home lol…we had my mom and johns parents for many years and our daughter has never left home!…I don’t know if she lives with me or I live with her!…the grands actually think we are normal!…hahahaha!….2 -
Sorry Connie, I sincerly hope I don't offend but I abhor perfectionism!
Before I retired, the 4 perfectionists in my team gave me more trouble than the other 26 team members put together! They couldn't seem to grasp that in a busy university hospital, 'good enough' meant just that. The huge amount of additional time, effort and energy to bridge from 'good enough' to 'perfect' simply wasn't a justifiable use of tax payers' money.
Just to give one example, one time we were given 5 working days to bid for a £75m grant to build a new endoscopy unit. Other hospitals had been planning their bids for 4 months, but our CEO had dropped the ball and only gave us 5 days notice in which to produce an elevator pitch, mission statement, CAD drawings of a potential clinical building, a publicity brochure, powerpoint presentations, financial projections etc. We knew we'd have to work 20 hour days to be even approaching ready.
End of the first day I called the team together for a sit rep. Folks reported on what they'd achieved so far...one of the perfectionists proudly displayed a blank powerpoint slide - she'd spent the entire day creating a custom shade of purple for the slide background.
That's where perfectionism gets you! Wasting colossal swathes of time that could be more usefully employed in doing something fun, necessary or practical. Yet the number of people I interviewed who described themselves proudly as perfectionists, as if it was something laudable and desirable in an employee. Sheesh!
Whether it's cooking, DIY, sewing, exercise or weight management, or indeed anything else I can think of (including life-saving medicine) there is never a time when 'perfect' is a better use of your energy than 'good enough'...
Whew, better get down off my soap-box now!3 -
Oh no, the window's closed to delete the above post, and I realise it comes across as smug and rude! Which is the LAST thing I intended! I didn't mean to criticise you Connie - just to point out (in what I hoped came across as humourous, but I fear just came across as rude!) that perfectionism is hard work! And that you'd have less stress if you embraced a little imperfection!
I really hope I haven't caused offence!4 -
Perfectionism is a full time job. I don’t know where it comes from. Critical parents? Lack of self confidence? Need to be in control? I (hope) that I’m a mostly reformed perfectionist. I know that for many years my perfectionism led to anxiety. That uncomfortable lack of control moved me to overeating to soothe the discomfort. So much in my life was not ever going to meet my unrealistic standard of perfect. But it did result in a lot of eating and weight gain.3
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Thank you Bella and Yoolypr for the comments….I am not easily offended and appreciate others opinions….
I understand the lady trying to get the right color shade because I make myself sick selecting wrapping paper for gifts!….I know it’s insane and causes me so much anxiety but I do it every year…and I do understand that sometimes giving your best is enough…
My parents always expected me to do my best…I was an only child,only grandchild on my dads side and also the only great grandchild on his side….they all doted on me and I was spoiled but a good kid….a lot of my entertainment was eating and reading….I could read and print and write long before I started school….
When I diet, I do it perfectly or I eat too much….some days I can’t believe I have lost as much as I have!
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I had a bit of an epiphany today, so I thought I'd share.
One of my biggest challenges at Christmas is Fear Of Missing Out. FOMO makes me overeat on foods that I rarely bring into the house. When FOMO combines with Hatred of Waste (HOW) it's a recipe for gluttony and loss of control.
Today I thought of a way to mitigate both FOMO and HOW.
I have loads of little screw top jars that I kept after using up the contents (things like jam, chutney, lemon curd etc). They come in handy for yoghurt making. I also have loads of reusable zip-lok freezer bags and lots of foil, cling wrap and baking parchment.
By around 28th December my freezer should have plenty of space. And so many things can be frozen!
Leftover Christmas pudding, crumbled up mince pies, christmas cake and mincemeat can all be mixed with slightly softened vanilla ice-cream and refrozen to make delicious desserts.
Most cheeses freeze well, especially if they're grated first. Even Mascarpone freezes well for up to 4 months.
Wine can be frozen in ice-cube trays, to be defrosted later and added to casseroles and stews.
Cream and custard can both be frozen, if you're prepared to put in a bit of elbow work to whip them smooth again once you defrost them.
Raw nuts can be frozen for up to six months. As can Peanut M&Ms....
Butter freezes extremely well, as does raw pastry.
Homemade biscuits (cookies) freeze very well, as long as you let them cool fully before freezing
Good quality chocolate (without any water content) can be frozen for a year without any detrimental effect as long as you follow a few simple rules (easily found online).
Rich fruit cake can be frozen for up to a year - as can Panettone, Stollen, Mince Pies and most types of sponge cakes. The trick is to slice them into single-portion helpings before you freeze them so that they fit within a reduced calorie allowance.
The list goes on and on...
Knowing that the food won't get wasted if it's not all gorged on immediately will hopefully help me to avoid gluttony. I'll use my dozens of empty jars, ziplok bags, baking parchment etc. to help me store the high-calorie leftovers in small, calorie-controlled portions. So small 1-inch cubes of rich fruit cake. Small screw-top jars of christmas-pudding or mince-pie ice-cream. Small baggies of raw nuts. Single sandwich servings of grated cheese. Small, individually wrapped mince pies and slices of Stollen and Panettone. Single serving jars of cream or custard. All safely stowed in the depths of the freezer to be brought out when my calorie budget allows me to have a small treat...3 -
Bella - I know this so wouldn't work for me - but I so hope it works well for you! Just reading the descriptions has me almost up and out the door to find some of these treats. They would certainly not last in my freezer - probably much would be gone before it was even properly frozen.
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Oh dear....then definitely not a strategy for you then! Have you thought of a strategy that WOULD work for you and your recalcitrant, rebellious hamsters?
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I'm in between the two camps (Bella and Laurie). Two tins (cans) of quality street are still in the house and at their corner of the room. The other three are gone. All the m&ms and kisses/hugs are gone. But the clif bars, while eaten, don't just disappear into the vacuum cleaner.
It is much easier to resist when not actually hungry (at an actual deficit) and when the hamsters are convinced that there will never exist a dearth of... mid value goodies. I don't rate my chances with cookies to be as good though. Especially not milk and cookies 😂
In the end, for most of us, I think we will have to find a balance between what we can use to have happy but not overfed hamsters, and what turns the hamsters into large piranhas 🙀
But it does require some active thinking and not giving up ahead of time. And at times remembering and recalling and using tools we've developed.
Whether you end up over indulging or not, just going into it with the outlook of not surendering to "powerless to change" overindulgence is a positive step, in my view, as it enhances the chances you will enjoy in a reasonable / responsible to your future self manner.3 -
My husband, kids and I host Thanksgiving and Christmas at our house every year for whatever family members or friends want to come. I feel lucky because by hosting I can make changes to the food that I want to. I have a child who is gluten-free and I need to eat low carb (both of us for medical reasons). This allows me to make changes to recipes that work for both of us. If people don't like the changes they are free to pitch in and bring their own stuff. I feel if we are paying for everything and it's at my house I have the right to make things that we can eat. I have never had any complaints. This year at Thanksgiving I even got some compliments on somethings that I have been making for years, this year I changed a few things and no one knew but they liked it better. Just my 2 cents.4
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FYI…..frozen treats and little jars are no challenge to this rat ( hamster )….I can and have eaten completely frozen brownies and frozen cookies thaw out immediately when dipped in hot coffee….I love the holidays but this year I am ready to be finished with them ( sort of )….. I still have to finish shopping tomorrow and wrap, bake, clean and cook….the fun never ends!1
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What works for me, is to have my treats, then clear them out of the house. Somethings are okay to keep around... But not many 🙂2
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Whatever works for you is the strategy to use! And if it doesn't, try another one - keep those hamsters guessing & off balance 😏
Two adages I have heard that are really helping me (work in progress):
1) if food might "go to waste", (wrong as that is of course, we all know that lol) perhaps that's better than "go to my waist"? ie - me eating it is not noble, no starving child anywhere benefits lol, so if no one else wants it...I am becoming more okay with tossing vs keeping around tempting me. And I'm also getting more savvy with sending excess with guests as they leave vs having to deal with later. Then they can toss if they like, it's out of my hands. 😁
2) when choosing what to eat, go for amazing or nourishing, everything else is just fodder and I have no room for fodder, especially at this time of year! Another tip like this was to eat only homemade goodies vs boxed generic. 😇
In other words, cultivate a discerning palate!
Not new concepts but I for one need these reminders!
Bella, don't let the hamsters hear, but I could totally see using your strategy and secretly knowing I can always opt to toss later...toss is always an option. 😘2 -
Ladybug8882021 wrote: »... And I'm also getting more savvy with sending excess with guests as they leave vs having to deal with later. Then they can toss if they like, it's out of my hands. 😁
This is one I use a lot - thank goodness I usually have lots of people willing to take things away and if I parcel it up and send it off while I'm full from the meal, I can do it. Not saying I won't be sorry after everyone has left and all is cleaned up and I sit with a cup of tea - wishing I had one or slice of ??? whatever - but I can usually deal with the disappointment.
Ladybug8882021 wrote: »...go for amazing or nourishing, everything else is just fodder ... In other words, cultivate a discerning palate! 😘
I love how you have put this - simple, elegant, and some how it almost feels like a decadent attitude to cultivate. A discerning palate. I am going to work on this.
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I'm working on developing a discerning palate too. I refuse to squander a single calorie on anything that doesn't nourish me or give me genuine pleasure. That was one of my rules from day one.
As for the sending stuff home with guests, that has been long been a key part of my Christmas plan, but my new strategy above is my approach for how I'll deal with stuff that has been opened and partially consumed, and that therefore the guests probably won't want to take home with them. Judging by past years, they'll happily tote away half-full tins of Quality Street and toffees, and unopened crisps, crackers, nuts, Panettone or Christmas pudding...but they're much less likely to take home a half eaten Christmas cake or a few folorn mince pies, the remnants of the cheese board, or the last helpings of trifle or cheesecake. So it's these unwanted leftovers that lead me down the road to gluttony, because I abhor waste, and the food is tasty, expensive and not something that I usually allow myself.2 -
Hmmm..... not everything can be repackaged (trifle would be hard), and an, extra expense, but you could get plastic to go containers or even Christmas themed single use plates and create an assortment of single mince pies and cookies and some quality street bonbons, wrap in plastic, or foil, put a bow on and send them home with "Christmas (left over 🙀) cookies"😹
And for trifle I have some ramekins (from purchased creme brûlé and tiramisu) that I could consider putting in the middle of a plate of other left over goodies...
Anyway, you seem to be evolving your plan and I love your freezing what can't be given away idea, so it sounds like you're on an even better track than before👍3
