What's wrong with me

I can relate. If I have it, I will eat it. Follow the instincts that you obviously have, and do not buy it next time. Don't beat yourself up about the past behavior, but learn from it!

No, i don't believe it is something far off from what most of us do!

Remember, your eating habits had been 50+ years in the making. I too have had moments where I just have to let the fact that I ate the whole frozen pizza for dinner last night go. When started this years ago (I joined recently after 2020 weight gain) I had that mindset of meals being meat, starch and veggie and I had to change that for my own benefit. Now dinner might be meat and two veggies, etc.. But I did have to keep reminding myself that what I did before did not work for my health and was not going to get me to where I needed to be as healthy as I could be.

Planning your menu and sticking to 90% of your list was GREAT, do not forget that. Take each week, day or meal as a challenge. Sometimes it will be a breeze other times it will be like climbing a mountain but always remember every step counts.

Count the calories and move on, sometimes I have to look at the week as opposed to how each day went. Feeling bad about it is a step in the right direction, next time you might be able to just pass them by.

Nothing. Nothing is wrong with you. Changing behaviors is hard. Totally doable yet difficult. Often it takes many attempts. If you were learning to play golf, your first few swings would in all likelihood be pretty terrible. But if you stick with it, practice regularly, and apply what you know intellectually to what you are doing with your body, you will gradually improve. You will probably still have a terrible shot now and then. But you will also have brilliant shots on occasion, and on average, your score will go down.

Maybe not the best analogy, but implementing new habits and thought patterns takes persistence and discipline. Strive for improvement, not perfection. It sounds like you are doing lots of things to improve your odds of success already. Kudos for that. Start with small goals and small changes that seem doable to you. Gradually add more as your mastery improves. I truly believe in the bottom of my heart that the ONLY way to make major changes is through small things done faithfully. Reframe your expectations and press on.

There's nothing wrong with you. You just haven't found the right plan/approach for you yet, that's all.

Strictly speaking, for weight management:

* Healthy eating is optional
* Exercise is optional
* Sleep is irrelevant
* Weigh ins are optional
* Meal prepping is optional
* How much water is drunk is irrelevant
* Even logging and calorie counting are optional (people lost weight before calorie counting was practical, right?)

To lose weight, what matters is getting your calorie intake below your calorie expenditure on average over a long period of time by any reasonable amount, even a small reasonable amount (couple hundred calories daily will even work, if you're very patient).

Now, some of the things on that asterisk-bullet list might help you do that, and if that's so, you should use those tactics in some way . . . but even then, it's not necessary to do them every single day.

Why? Because that "on average" phrase is really important. As a PP said, you can eat all the pies one day, and still lose weight. For that to be able to happen, you'd have to eat enough less (or burn enough more) to get your average calorie intake below your average calorie expenditure over time . . . by any means that works for you personally. (I'd encourage you not to pick dangerous, totally unhealthy means, but it's up to you.)

For sure, some of us find some things on that asterisk-bullet list very helpful, possibly essential for us individually. But weight can be managed while ignoring them, or flexing them, potentially. It's about what works best for you.

If you eat 1100 calories of pie on Monday, and that puts you (making numbers up) 1000 calories above your current weight-maintenance calories (which are 2000) on Monday, then to lose weight, you need to be an extra 200 calories under 2000 for the next 5 days on average - in addition to however much under you were already trying to be to lose weight - or 100 extra under for the next 10 days, or uneven amounts on different days that add up to 1000, or you have to take a really long bike ride on Thursday that burns an extra 1000, or, or, or.

This is not meant to be an attitude of "making up for" overeating. Food is not sin, we don't need to suffer if we eat a little extra. So, no, not "making up for". It's just math: To accomplish our goals, we need to get the calorie balance right, on average, over time. (That's a big difference in thought process! Guilt is optional, too.)

Sure, if rigid routines or strict rules - like never buying the vegan pies - help you, then do that. But rigid routines and strict rules are not essential.

Repeating: What matters is getting your calorie intake below your calorie expenditure on average over a long period of time by any reasonable amount, using methods that are (relatively) easy and happy for you. Suffering is optional.

Illustrative personal anecdote, gospel truth: By coincidence, I went out for brunch today, had a whole spread of big omelet with fixins, potatoes, ketchup on the potatoes (buckets of it), biscuit, butter, jam, several cups of coffee with half and half, and (!) beer. Since then, I picked up a custom take-out pizza, Detroit style (thicker crust, thick toppings), and ate half of it. I haven't counted this yet, but I'm way over my weight maintenance calories, for sure. It was not a compulsion, not a "binge", it was a decision. I could've made a different decision.

I enjoyed every minute of this, and I'm not concerned. I've done this sort of thing occasionally throughout the 6+ years I've been at a healthy weight, when before this 6+ year stretch I was overweight to obese for 30+ years.

At age 59-60, I joined MFP, figured out this average-the-calories math thing, figured out how to fit it in my life long term in a way that keeps me happy**, lost 50+ pounds in a bit less than a year, and have been at a healthy weight ever since. I didn't increase my exercise (I admit I was already pretty active). I didn't change the range of foods I ate (I was already getting OK nutrition, so I just changed portion sizes, relative proportions on the plate, frequencies of calorie-dense foods). Bottom line: I balanced out the calorie math.

I'm actually much happier with my habits as a slim person (5'5", mid-120s pounds), age 66, because my health is significantly improved, as is my mobility, plus I can still enjoy food and eating.

** What way? Now that I'm maintaining a healthy weight, most days I eat a little under maintenance calories (like 100-150 under, maybe), "banking" calories so I can spend them occasionally on an indulgent day like today. That technique, too, is optional. But it happens to be one that helps me, given my preferences, strengths, and limitations.

How I did this wouldn't necessarily be the way you would want to do it, because we're different people. But the foundation issue is the same: Get the calories eaten in the right balance with the calories burned, on average, over time. That's the essential part. (Strictly, you don't even have to count the calories to do that; counting them just makes the tradeoffs more clear.)

Now, if you find your urges uncontrollable over time, that's a thing to work on. Some people do need help on that, from a book, from a club-ish thing (like Weight Watchers or Noom or whatever), maybe even from a therapist, if there are deep issues. There's no shame in any of that, no reason for stigma, it's just a way of getting needful things done - like calling a plumber if the sink backs up.

You can do this. Keep working toward the right plan for you, don't give up. It's possible.

A trick I sometimes use when standing in the supermarket resisting that temptation - especially when I see a new product that sounds interesting, but just won’t be worth the calories to me - is to read the ingredients, then challenge myself to make the item myself if I really want it.

Admittedly, I do love to cook and sometimes I actually do make whatever, but in a way that reduces the calories wherever possible. More often though, the idea goes out of my head and I don’t bother. End result for me is that I’ve put it back on the shelf by using the internal dialogue.

‘If you really want it, make it yourself’

I'll eat it if it's here, too. I've moved almost wholly to online grocery shopping/pick-up, because it's not as tempting to impulse buy. I'm not sure if that's as readily available in the UK, though.

There's nothing wrong with you. I'm not going to repeat all the great things others have said, but I'll add something that might help.

When I started this round of weight loss, I decided not to look at the entire amount I had to lose (or the time it would take). Instead, I just focused on being committed to the changes I was making in food and exercise for 5 weeks. "You can stick with this for 5 weeks", I told myself. After 5 weeks, I recommitted to another 5 weeks. I've been doing that since July, and I'm still here, doing the things. For me, this felt way less overwhelming.

Hang in there.