What nobody tells you about losing weight
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this is especially true for me. i am at the beginning of this journey. I have lost only 9.4lbs so far. I do feel much better, and am listening to my body more about when I am full to stop eating.
but even though I feel like I'm doing SOOOO good, in the beginning it is soooo hard to see any changes. and even though in my head I can say "it takes time", realistically when I look in the mirror I get soooo defeated. the scale may show my success but my mirror does not. I know logically that I have to keep going and I will (yesterday was the first time I could actually see a little change) but still that is the hardest hurdle I have had to overcome.13 -
When you are doing this journey alone, your friends may say supportive things but they also do unsupportive unintentional acts. for instance, I love my friends and anytime I share my progress with them they root me on and hype me sooo much. It is amazing!!!! but on the flip side they will frequently want to go out to eat for lunch, dinner, drinks etc. and while I know once in a while wont derail me it I feel like it is much more frequent than that. I know they are not doing it with the intent to set me back, they just wanna hang out like we've always done. but the temptation is sooooooo hard to avoid. I try to set boundaries like "ok, ill go, but ill order something somewhat healthy and limit myself to one drink and water" ... ya that never actually happens. they order their norms ( my old norms and things i very much love) and then order their second or third round of drinks and well all bets are off. sometimes those that are most supportive can also be the your set backs. I know I am in charge of myself but the temptation is very hard especially in the beginning of this when it's not an established habit.17
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I used to be so self conscious all the time and frankly, embarrassed about how I looked and moved. I'm not sure I'm explaining it right, but now fitting into size 14 jeans, that's all gone. I can't believe how much energy and focus that took. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders and it feels great.21
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It can be very challenging and exhausting but the consistent discipline will pay off.8
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When you are doing this journey alone, your friends may say supportive things but they also do unsupportive unintentional acts. for instance, I love my friends and anytime I share my progress with them they root me on and hype me sooo much. It is amazing!!!! but on the flip side they will frequently want to go out to eat for lunch, dinner, drinks etc. and while I know once in a while wont derail me it I feel like it is much more frequent than that. I know they are not doing it with the intent to set me back, they just wanna hang out like we've always done. but the temptation is sooooooo hard to avoid. I try to set boundaries like "ok, ill go, but ill order something somewhat healthy and limit myself to one drink and water" ... ya that never actually happens. they order their norms ( my old norms and things i very much love) and then order their second or third round of drinks and well all bets are off. sometimes those that are most supportive can also be the your set backs. I know I am in charge of myself but the temptation is very hard especially in the beginning of this when it's not an established habit.
@isse23 - Social situations are hard and require some strategy and process discipline to manage. Think of those happy hours as an opportunity to experiment and find strategies that work for you. I think you are on the right track with making a plan ahead of time, but it sounds, like sometimes its hard to stick to that plan.
You might want to review the menu before and pre-log those drinks and happy hour snacks. If you go off plan and order something else, log it before you eat it. I'll share some of my tricks - they might work for you. For drinks, order flavored vodka and soda water. 80 calories. No carbs. If you are tempted to want to eat more than just a small snack while out with your friends, consider instead making happy hour dinner. That way you can indulge in something more substantial and not feel deprived. Look for high protein options - they keep you fuller longer. If you order a burger or slider, ask for it on a bed of greens instead of a bun. Good for you for not putting your social life on hold while losing. You are building skills that will serve you well for the rest of your life.17 -
Omigosh, my favourite one is something that probably most people won't notice. But I was in a waiting room and across from me, this very petite woman was sitting in the same type of chair I was, with her purse and her tote bag beside her on the chair. And I, sitting with my purse on my lap as usual, thought "It must be nice to be able to sit so comfortably."
And I looked down at my lap, with my purse sitting there, and glanced at the side of the chair, and thought: "Wait a minute..." and scooched over a bit in the chair.
Sure enough, I could tuck my purse beside me too!
Such a small thing, but it made me so happy! Still does.
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thomastatro wrote: »Also I can handle spicy foods way more now, that is one I can't understand. ( anyone know why?)
When I'm not eating quite so much sugar (or salt), my tastes seem to change. Foods that just tasted sort-of "meh" to me are now really good and foods that I used to really like are too sweet or salty. Maybe it's something similar to that? Maybe you are appreciating other flavors in those spicy foods more than previously?
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That shopping is way more fun!
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dralicephd wrote: »thomastatro wrote: »Also I can handle spicy foods way more now, that is one I can't understand. ( anyone know why?)
When I'm not eating quite so much sugar (or salt), my tastes seem to change. Foods that just tasted sort-of "meh" to me are now really good and foods that I used to really like are too sweet or salty. Maybe it's something similar to that? Maybe you are appreciating other flavors in those spicy foods more than previously?
Oh yeah. It's ruined eating out at a lot of places for me. And processed food is just meh.4 -
It’s so true about your tastes changing. I was in the supermarket this week and they had fresh baked croissants, and the whole store smelled like baked deliciousness. Post run and pre-breakfast it called to me: I thought no worries I can make one fit my calories, which it did, but alas it wasn’t even that good and was a giant let down6
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JessiBelleW wrote: »It’s so true about your tastes changing. I was in the supermarket this week and they had fresh baked croissants, and the whole store smelled like baked deliciousness. Post run and pre-breakfast it called to me: I thought no worries I can make one fit my calories, which it did, but alas it wasn’t even that good and was a giant let down
It helps to toast them briefly under the broiler.
Mmmmmmmmm4 -
I used to always pony up the money for either first-class or sometimes business-class airline seats. Even so, while I was spared the indignity of a seatbelt extender, it was always a struggle to get the regular belt to click.
Two weeks ago, I booked myself that big comfy (and expensive) seat. While it was very nice, I realized that I no longer needed the extra wide seat. Now it's a luxury, not a necessity.17 -
at 115 lbs down, I am still a size 22 in my head. Looking in the mirror doesn't change this much. I look down, I still see belly fat etc. The hubby actually lost all his belly fat, it was where he kept his extra 15 lbs - and he still sees it!! It is literally not there!! I am not sure how much the mirror actually shows you. I think pictures side by side might be a better judge. Even those, I have seen others on the weight loss journey struggle with seeing it even though it was obvious to others on the thread *shrugs*I can say "it takes time", realistically when I look in the mirror I get soooo defeated. the scale may show my success but my mirror does not.
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justanotherloser007 wrote: »
at 115 lbs down, I am still a size 22 in my head. Looking in the mirror doesn't change this much. I look down, I still see belly fat etc. The hubby actually lost all his belly fat, it was where he kept his extra 15 lbs - and he still sees it!! It is literally not there!! I am not sure how much the mirror actually shows you. I think pictures side by side might be a better judge. Even those, I have seen others on the weight loss journey struggle with seeing it even though it was obvious to others on the thread *shrugs*I can say "it takes time", realistically when I look in the mirror I get soooo defeated. the scale may show my success but my mirror does not.
Ahhh. You made me remember the NSV I forgot on another thread.
I was standing in the shower and realized, not only could I see my entire feet, toe to heels, I could see my thighs, shins and ankles, too. (The NSV.)
However, when I look in the mirror, minus umpteen pounds, minus umpteen dress sizes, I “see” big belly, flooping over belt line, like lava.
There can be a mental disconnect for years, even when brain says “eyes, meet feet.”
Comparing photos sure helps.16 -
Sand_TIger wrote: »I never considered how much I had been relying on my body weight for moving things around. I was at Home Depot today and found the lumber carriers harder to manage than they used to be because I couldn't just lean on them to get them to go where I wanted. They kept wanting to push me around so I had to rely more on arm and leg strength and the tread on my sandals to keep from slipping. It was interesting.
I am a Dialysis RN and at the hospitals we do bed side treatments in the ICU's or for isolation patients that can't come to our dialysis rooms. Our portable water purifiers and dialysis machines are on a big cart that we take bedside. Since I have lost over 100 lbs, I too have more difficulty pushing them around. Especially the one location that we have to go up a incline. I had to take a running start before and now I have to REALLY have to take a RUNNING start to get up it till it flattens out!!!!15 -
justanotherloser007 wrote: »
at 115 lbs down, I am still a size 22 in my head. Looking in the mirror doesn't change this much. I look down, I still see belly fat etc. The hubby actually lost all his belly fat, it was where he kept his extra 15 lbs - and he still sees it!! It is literally not there!! I am not sure how much the mirror actually shows you. I think pictures side by side might be a better judge. Even those, I have seen others on the weight loss journey struggle with seeing it even though it was obvious to others on the thread *shrugs*I can say "it takes time", realistically when I look in the mirror I get soooo defeated. the scale may show my success but my mirror does not.
I personally found the last time I lost over 100 lbs in 2010, while watching a home video, on the TV from a party I was attending, that I realized I was looking at this thin person, who was ME! It really opened my eyes, and BRAIN, to how I REALLY did look then. And when I said out loud, "Oh I am thin!" The one girl said, "Rewind that so she can see herself again." Body dysmorphia takes quite awhile to overcome.16 -
Has anyone else ever had this: less confidence after losing weight. I find I am trying to hide all the time. The only thing I can think is that since I was obese for so long (30 years) and I was a fairly confident person, that it is just being "different" now. I don't think I have heard of anyone else mentioning this, but I don't think I am the only long term obese person on this thread - anyone else had anything similar? It is getting a little irritating. *sigh* utterly irritating to lose my confidence over such an good thing.17
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springlering62 wrote: »JessiBelleW wrote: »It’s so true about your tastes changing. I was in the supermarket this week and they had fresh baked croissants, and the whole store smelled like baked deliciousness. Post run and pre-breakfast it called to me: I thought no worries I can make one fit my calories, which it did, but alas it wasn’t even that good and was a giant let down
It helps to toast them briefly under the broiler.
Mmmmmmmmm
@springlering62
Spring I think I just don’t actually like them
That much!
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lost 1.5 kg in 2 weeks6
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justanotherloser007 wrote: »Has anyone else ever had this: less confidence after losing weight. I find I am trying to hide all the time. The only thing I can think is that since I was obese for so long (30 years) and I was a fairly confident person, that it is just being "different" now. I don't think I have heard of anyone else mentioning this, but I don't think I am the only long term obese person on this thread - anyone else had anything similar? It is getting a little irritating. *sigh* utterly irritating to lose my confidence over such an good thing.
I've lost some confidence, but is confidence different for everyone? I had always been a person to make good eye contact. When I was young and thin it was advantageous because flirting was all about eye contact. As I matured and gained weight, the eye contact was just that, being polite and speaking with conviction (the true definition confidence) Now, that I have lost weight, and because I am not flirting, I have a hard time making eye contact -- so it may appear that I lost that piece of "confidence"5
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